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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Elf On A Shelf Ruined Our Christmas - Blog Post
MarinaVanessa 07:31 AM 12-17-2013


Yes, I rolled my eyes. I came upon this article about "elf on a shelf" which in reality turned into how devastated a 6yo girl was when she found out that Elf had to return "home" until the following Christmas.

All I heard throughout this article by the parent of the child was about their child at age six being devastated because she was going to lose her friend that she thought at that point was as real as Santa Claus. Am I the only one here that saw the potential for a teachable moment about regulation ones emotions when one had to say goodbye to someone they loved? Not to mention about how attached this little girl became to her "elf" in such a short period of time, it just doesn't seem healthy to me. Almost like she needed a secure attachment, but that may be a far stretch.

Instead the parents decide that instead of softening the blow by helping her navigate and regulate her emotions they instead decide to ... well I'll let you read the blog.

PS: I know that some here don't do "elf on a shelf" and some go beyond that and don't do "Santa" either ... this post isn't about that. For me it's about, once again, a parent wanting to shelter their child so that their feelings won't be hurt instead of teaching them that in the real world we feel sad, angry, upset, frustrated etc. and THAT'S OKAY! We need to find ways to help children cope with their emotions, not make them worse or do quick fixes.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matt-p...?ncid=webmail2
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Blackcat31 07:34 AM 12-17-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
We need to find ways to help children cope with their emotions, not make them worse or do quick fixes.
THAT ^^^^ is the answer to ALOT of things wrong with parenting now days.
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DaycareMom 08:47 AM 12-17-2013
I completely agree with you that children need to cope with their emotions.
With that being said, can someone please explain to me the fascination with Elf on the Shelf???
I don't get it. We already have Santa, and from what I know about EOTS, you are not allowed to touch the Elf?!?! Here is a Christmas toy, but you can't play with it?
Some people use it to get their child(ren) to behave ... your child(ren) should behave because of YOU - not an elf.
I have heard so many stories like this blog. That the kid gets attached and then cries when the Elf has to go home.
Some people say it keeps the magic alive during the Christmas season and don't get me wrong - I love all the FB pics and creative ideas people have for their Elf, but I just think it's overkill. It seems like EOTS has taken Santa's place.
I miss Santa!!!
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Meeko 08:49 AM 12-17-2013
Yep...eye rolls here too.

What are they going to do when she decides that she's devastated about a neighborhood friend moving away? Tell the family they can't leave due to the emotional toll on their daughter?

Or Grandma can't leave after a visit because that would upset Princess?

If she really likes a doll her friend has, I wonder if her parents would insist on taking it home with them because their daughter likes it and it would traumatize her not to have it in HER home?

If they had really READ the Elf On The Shelf book to their daughter and discussed it with her, she would have understood that the elf does not belong to her. He belongs to Santa and his home is the North Pole. He does nothing more than VISIT. He wants to do his job and then go home. Children (especially a 6 year old) can perfectly understand these concepts.

According to the tale, the elf is not to be touched or his magic will vanish, but they let their little madam snuggle it??????!!!!!!!!!

I have used the elf for the past 5 or 6 years and we have so much fun. They have never touched him (I keep him up high where he can see them well They happily say and wave goodbye the last day of daycare before Christmas. Then we look forward to seeing him next year.

This article just proves how parents are too scared to say no to their children or to let them experience any negative emotions at all. That child is going to have a very rough time with life as she gets older.

As for the photo at the end.....doesn't look like a happy little girl to me. Looks like a smug one. Such a shame.
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Meeko 08:54 AM 12-17-2013
Originally Posted by DaycareMom:
I completely agree with you that children need to cope with their emotions.
With that being said, can someone please explain to me the fascination with Elf on the Shelf???
I don't get it. We already have Santa, and from what I know about EOTS, you are not allowed to touch the Elf?!?! Here is a Christmas toy, but you can't play with it?
Some people use it to get their child(ren) to behave ... your child(ren) should behave because of YOU - not an elf.
I have heard so many stories like this blog. That the kid gets attached and then cries when the Elf has to go home.
Some people say it keeps the magic alive during the Christmas season and don't get me wrong - I love all the FB pics and creative ideas people have for their Elf, but I just think it's overkill. It seems like EOTS has taken Santa's place.
I miss Santa!!!
In the few years I have been using The Elf on The Shelf, I can't imagine Christmas without him now!

The kids walk through the door so excited every morning and look to see where he is hiding today. Then they can't wait to point him out to their parents at pick up.

But the best part for me is when they talk to him. The story book tells the children that even though he can't talk to them, he can listen and he tells Santa their dreams and wishes. When they think nobody is watching, the kids will talk with such wonder in their eyes and whisper to him. It makes it magical for me too.
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Soccermom 09:10 AM 12-17-2013
Gotta love the face on that little girl in the last picture. Her whole face just screams - Look at me, I got what I wanted!

Kids are so spoiled these days.

But the Elf on Shelf has always seemed really strange to me. It is confusing and what happens when you forget to move the darn thing?

My 9 year old DD asked me this year why we don't have an elf on the shelf. I told her it was because we don't need one since Santa knows they are good kids. She said " Good because I think they are creepy! " LOL
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Blackcat31 09:20 AM 12-17-2013
I have a DCD that uses the Elf year round.

He dresses the elf up in St Patrick's day, Easter, 4th of July, Halloween etc costumes.

He said it helps keep his son on his best behavior.

I'm not sure if this dad is a genius or if he is just setting his kid up worse...
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daycarediva 10:04 AM 12-17-2013
We don't do Santa, eots, the easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc.

I got a LOT of flack from my family for making those decisions for my kids.

They still believe in the magic and spirit of Christmas, they believe in giving, they actively participate in toys for tots, blanket making for the homeless, food shelter baskets and each year each of my kids chose a child to gift (salvation army tree). Because they KNOW Santa isn't real, they understand and value the importance of these things all the more.


Last year my 10yo niece threw a massive fit Christmas day (screaming, crying, throwing things, foot stomping, door slamming FIT) about Santa not giving her everything on her list. As my brother placated her, my SIL got dressed to go to the store with her to FINISH HER CHRISTMAS SHOPPING because Santa MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN SOME THINGS.

My kids were disgusted. We packed up and left my mothers house and went home IMMEDIATELY.

THAT ruined Christmas. Spoiled, selfish, entitled BRATS with no kindness, no concept of the true meaning of Christmas and parents who enabled her to behave that way.

To make my point further, we are giving my brother, sil and their children a card this year, with a large donation made in their name to a local charity. My mother didn't even invite them to Christmas (yes her own son, DIL and 5 granddaughters!) and is giving them each gift cards "in case Santa forgot something."
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laceylmm 10:08 AM 12-17-2013
I've done Elf on the Shelf for two years now. I feel like if the kid is that attached to it the parents must be putting way too much emphasis on the elf being there. My kids look for the elf ,have fun in the morning, and move on. Its not the entire focus of December. I also let them touch him because well I'm not fighting them even touching him. Plus then I have to explain that the magic still works even when the touched him like they weren't supposed to.

And it must be my 'mean' streak again but I'd probably tell my kids to get over it if they threw that much of a fit when the elf left. PS the elf spent the last year in my underwear drawer to be sure they would never find him
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MarinaVanessa 10:18 AM 12-17-2013
I agree with lacey. Elf on a shelf is just supposed to be another "cute" thing to do with your kids. Many people move it only if the child had a good day and don't move it if they have a rough day. I don't use it that way. I move it regardless. It's more fun for us than anything. My 10 yo knows elf isn't real yet she enjoys playing along just like with Santa. In my household "you have to believe to receive" so she plays along even with the tooth fairy so that at least her 3yo brother can enjoy the "magic" too.
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MsLaura529 10:30 AM 12-17-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
We don't do Santa, eots, the easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc.

I got a LOT of flack from my family for making those decisions for my kids.

They still believe in the magic and spirit of Christmas, they believe in giving, they actively participate in toys for tots, blanket making for the homeless, food shelter baskets and each year each of my kids chose a child to gift (salvation army tree). Because they KNOW Santa isn't real, they understand and value the importance of these things all the more.


Last year my 10yo niece threw a massive fit Christmas day (screaming, crying, throwing things, foot stomping, door slamming FIT) about Santa not giving her everything on her list. As my brother placated her, my SIL got dressed to go to the store with her to FINISH HER CHRISTMAS SHOPPING because Santa MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN SOME THINGS.
My kids were disgusted. We packed up and left my mothers house and went home IMMEDIATELY.

THAT ruined Christmas. Spoiled, selfish, entitled BRATS with no kindness, no concept of the true meaning of Christmas and parents who enabled her to behave that way.

To make my point further, we are giving my brother, sil and their children a card this year, with a large donation made in their name to a local charity. My mother didn't even invite them to Christmas (yes her own son, DIL and 5 granddaughters!) and is giving them each gift cards "in case Santa forgot something."
That is insane for a TEN YEAR OLD. Wow!!! I am a little nervous I might have a disappointed little FOUR YEAR OLD Christmas morning because this is the first year she actually "wrote" out a list, and really remembers what was on it, etc ... however, I keep reminding her that just because something is on her list does not mean she will be getting it. I tell her it is just a helpful thing to do because everyone likes to GIVE each other gifts on Christmas and the list helps people with ideas. She keeps telling me she will be getting everything and I just keep giving her the same answer over and over again. I would not EVER go out to the store and buy her the remainder of her list, though. That is nuts.
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momofsix 12:04 PM 12-17-2013
Just the title made me angry-how elf on the shelf "ruined Christmas". The parents themselves really have NO idea of what a "ruined Christmas" truly is. Their child crying over a toy is such a trivial thing when there are people that are truly having serious problems and don't even whine about their Christmas being "ruined".

I just (this morning)attended the funeral of a 35 yo dear young man that died suddenly last week so forgive me if I sound a bit angry about that dad's whining. My dear friend Noah's family has a right to say Christmas is ruined for them-but they wont.
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Blackcat31 12:08 PM 12-17-2013
Originally Posted by momofsix:
Just the title made me angry-how elf on the shelf "ruined Christmas". The parents themselves really have NO idea of what a "ruined Christmas" truly is. Their child crying over a toy is such a trivial thing when there are people that are truly having serious problems and don't even whine about their Christmas being "ruined".

I just (this morning)attended the funeral of a 35 yo dear young man that died suddenly last week so forgive me if I sound a bit angry about that dad's whining. My dear friend Noah's family has a right to say Christmas is ruined for them-but they wont.
That was my first thought too.... I know the elf is suppose to have magic powers but someone bought the elf in the first place.

The title should have read "I bought elf on the shelf and ruined my DD's Christmas by not taking advantage of the teachable moment."

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Noah... Hoping you and his loved ones find peace and comfort during this trying time.
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momofsix 01:47 PM 12-17-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
That was my first thought too.... I know the elf is suppose to have magic powers but someone bought the elf in the first place. IKR

The title should have read "I bought elf on the shelf and ruined my DD's Christmas by not taking advantage of the teachable moment." Exactly! so many lessons to learn that they totally missed!

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Noah... Hoping you and his loved ones find peace and comfort during this trying time.
Thank you-it was just such a complete shock-in the hospital for a routine test and he caught an infection that attacked fiercely and shut down all his organs within hours.
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MarinaVanessa 01:59 PM 12-17-2013
And then I find a parent on the complete other sideof the spectrum. And my faith in humanity is restored ... Well, I have hope at least.

Why My Kids Are Not The Center Of My World
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nannyde 02:28 PM 12-17-2013
I don't think the creators of Elf on the Shelf thought that part of the deal would be a parent having to tell the child NO at some point.
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Meeko 02:44 PM 12-17-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
And then I find a parent on the complete other sideof the spectrum. And my faith in humanity is restored ... Well, I have hope at least.

Why My Kids Are Not The Center Of My World
AWESOME! I want to nail it to the forehead of soooooo many parents!!!!
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MarinaVanessa 02:56 PM 12-17-2013
Originally Posted by Meeko:
AWESOME! I want to nail it to the forehead of soooooo many parents!!!!
Yeah, tell me about it. Sadly, right now all of my clients are good and consistent with their children and instill boundaries. It's some of my friends, family members and acquaintances that have a problem with this.
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Scout 07:52 PM 12-17-2013
Last night I forgot about our elf! DS woke up this morning and said "Mom, the elf didn't move!"....fast thinking, I told him he must have been stuck since his last spot was the Christmas tree! Phew!
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Lil'DinoEggs 09:35 PM 12-17-2013
Originally Posted by Meeko:

The kids walk through the door so excited every morning and look to see where he is hiding today. Then they can't wait to point him out to their parents at pick up.
I don't do EOTS, but your idea can turn into a really fun year long game. I think I will have a new mascot like a doll or a stuffed animal and hide him every day or once a week or something and the kids can try and find him. Oh my, and it may help some of the kids transitioning. OOOO I have planning to do.
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DaisyMamma 02:02 AM 12-18-2013
Originally Posted by momofsix:
Just the title made me angry-how elf on the shelf "ruined Christmas". The parents themselves really have NO idea of what a "ruined Christmas" truly is. Their child crying over a toy is such a trivial thing when there are people that are truly having serious problems and don't even whine about their Christmas being "ruined".

I just (this morning)attended the funeral of a 35 yo dear young man that died suddenly last week so forgive me if I sound a bit angry about that dad's whining. My dear friend Noah's family has a right to say Christmas is ruined for them-but they wont.


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DaisyMamma 02:04 AM 12-18-2013
Originally Posted by Scout:
Last night I forgot about our elf! DS woke up this morning and said "Mom, the elf didn't move!"....fast thinking, I told him he must have been stuck since his last spot was the Christmas tree! Phew!
I just blow it off and say wow I guess she likes that spot. Or, she doesn't always move. You can't remember every time.
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Unregistered 04:24 AM 12-18-2013
They're are alot of negative responses here in this topic. .. calling kids BRATS AND ENTITLED BRATS. Just very surprising for letting daycare providers. . If a family chooses to bring additional"magic" into their home and create more of a magical atmosphere, . Why do you feel the need to down them?
As fat add doing charitable events, I feel is hypocritical to help another child believe in santa and deny your own children that same belief. Children should believe in magic and fairies and we shrug make believe, there is plenty of time for the real world and hard lessons that they WILL encounter IN due time. . Let children be children. . They grow up way to fast already!
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Unregistered 04:26 AM 12-18-2013
Sorry. .I am not very good at this texting. .
Letting should of been loving and I'm sure* they're are many more typos. .
I am sorry
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daycarediva 05:28 AM 12-18-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
They're are alot of negative responses here in this topic. .. calling kids BRATS AND ENTITLED BRATS. Just very surprising for letting daycare providers. . If a family chooses to bring additional"magic" into their home and create more of a magical atmosphere, . Why do you feel the need to down them?
As fat add doing charitable events, I feel is hypocritical to help another child believe in santa and deny your own children that same belief. Children should believe in magic and fairies and we shrug make believe, there is plenty of time for the real world and hard lessons that they WILL encounter IN due time. . Let children be children. . They grow up way to fast already!
1. It was my niece I called a brat. It's a cumulative amount of reasons why. She is entitled, she cares nothing for what others have, want or don't have. She is 10. No longer believes in Santa or plays pretend. Because her parents have catered to this type of behavior, she has never learned to be part of the real world.

Having done daycare for years and raising my own children I have come to learn that it takes time for children to learn lessons like these, they need to be taught them. It takes the entirety of their childhood to teach them to handle minor/mild disappointments (because small disappointments like not getting a sucker at the bank EVERY time ARE life lessons. I believe we should not rush in to 'save' children from feeling bad. It allows them to handle larger disappointments later on. Everything was always fixed for my niece. She was never allowed to feel sad, or cry. Therefor, she cannot handle ANYTHING without her parents swooping in to 'fix' it. A boy didn't like her at school and her Mom wanted to call his mother. It's a HUGE issue now. They don't just magically learn these lessons themselves.

And....even though I am a daycare provider (and a great one who loves my kids!) some are brats. It's REALITY. It's because parents make them that way, but it's true.
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Unregistered 05:39 AM 12-18-2013
I sincerely apologize.. And I am SURE you are a loving daycare provider! I used your words but it wasn't directed to you per say,
However I truly see how one could think that and again I am sorry
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Play Care 05:41 AM 12-18-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
1. It was my niece I called a brat. It's a cumulative amount of reasons why. She is entitled, she cares nothing for what others have, want or don't have. She is 10. No longer believes in Santa or plays pretend. Because her parents have catered to this type of behavior, she has never learned to be part of the real world.

Having done daycare for years and raising my own children I have come to learn that it takes time for children to learn lessons like these, they need to be taught them. It takes the entirety of their childhood to teach them to handle minor/mild disappointments (because small disappointments like not getting a sucker at the bank EVERY time ARE life lessons. I believe we should not rush in to 'save' children from feeling bad. It allows them to handle larger disappointments later on. Everything was always fixed for my niece. She was never allowed to feel sad, or cry. Therefor, she cannot handle ANYTHING without her parents swooping in to 'fix' it. A boy didn't like her at school and her Mom wanted to call his mother. It's a HUGE issue now. They don't just magically learn these lessons themselves.

And....even though I am a daycare provider (and a great one who loves my kids!) some are brats. It's REALITY. It's because parents make them that way, but it's true.

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Familycare71 06:20 AM 12-18-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
They're are alot of negative responses here in this topic. .. calling kids BRATS AND ENTITLED BRATS. Just very surprising for letting daycare providers. . If a family chooses to bring additional"magic" into their home and create more of a magical atmosphere, . Why do you feel the need to down them?
As fat add doing charitable events, I feel is hypocritical to help another child believe in santa and deny your own children that same belief. Children should believe in magic and fairies and we shrug make believe, there is plenty of time for the real world and hard lessons that they WILL encounter IN due time. . Let children be children. . They grow up way to fast already!
You forgot to add: in your opinion!! . Everyone is entitled to theirs-
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MarinaVanessa 07:08 AM 12-18-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
They're are alot of negative responses here in this topic. .. calling kids BRATS AND ENTITLED BRATS. Just very surprising for letting daycare providers. . If a family chooses to bring additional"magic" into their home and create more of a magical atmosphere, . Why do you feel the need to down them?
As fat add doing charitable events, I feel is hypocritical to help another child believe in santa and deny your own children that same belief. Children should believe in magic and fairies and we shrug make believe, there. is plenty of time for the real world and hard lessons that they WILL encounter IN due time. . Let children be children. . They grow up way to fast already!
This was my original thread and even I do elf on a shelf. The point of this thread was because a PARENT blamed the elf, an inanimate object, of ruining their Christmas. My point was that parents need to help their children cope with their emotions vs creating an easy fix or making the child feel worse by admitting that the elf was not real. The girl in the post already had a hard time with saying goodbye to her elf which to me indicates the possibility that the child is in need of emotional connections, she atached to her elf so much in a month. Instead of the parents dealing with this issue their response was to her that her friend wasn't real and let her elf all year long. That's giving in which does the child a disservice because she needs to learn how to cope with her emotional feelings properly. I don't think she learned anything at all.
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Unregistered 09:24 AM 12-18-2013
Sorry. VERY NEW HERE... yes... Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I should of added IMO...
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Unregistered 09:02 PM 12-21-2013
Originally Posted by momofsix:
Just the title made me angry-how elf on the shelf "ruined Christmas". The parents themselves really have NO idea of what a "ruined Christmas" truly is. Their child crying over a toy is such a trivial thing when there are people that are truly having serious problems and don't even whine about their Christmas being "ruined".

I just (this morning)attended the funeral of a 35 yo dear young man that died suddenly last week so forgive me if I sound a bit angry about that dad's whining. My dear friend Noah's family has a right to say Christmas is ruined for them-but they wont.
There is so much wrong with this whole thing. "Ruined" Christmas. Yeah. What were we doing last Dec 24th? Planning FIL's funeral. 11 year old ds wasn't comfortable being left at the farm by himself so he went with us -- and helped pick out his Grandfather's urn. (NOT something I was even a little bit okay with. I would have preferred to stay with him at the house.) DS didn't want his Grandpa to go anywhere, either.

Anyway, this family disgusts me. Spoiled, selfish, entitled kid made that way by spineless parents.
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Unregistered 09:06 PM 12-21-2013
I should say the parents disgust me.
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Leanna 09:31 PM 12-21-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
We don't do Santa, eots, the easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc.

I got a LOT of flack from my family for making those decisions for my kids.

They still believe in the magic and spirit of Christmas, they believe in giving, they actively participate in toys for tots, blanket making for the homeless, food shelter baskets and each year each of my kids chose a child to gift (salvation army tree). Because they KNOW Santa isn't real, they understand and value the importance of these things all the more.


Last year my 10yo niece threw a massive fit Christmas day (screaming, crying, throwing things, foot stomping, door slamming FIT) about Santa not giving her everything on her list. As my brother placated her, my SIL got dressed to go to the store with her to FINISH HER CHRISTMAS SHOPPING because Santa MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN SOME THINGS.


My kids were disgusted. We packed up and left my mothers house and went home IMMEDIATELY.

THAT ruined Christmas. Spoiled, selfish, entitled BRATS with no kindness, no concept of the true meaning of Christmas and parents who enabled her to behave that way.

To make my point further, we are giving my brother, sil and their children a card this year, with a large donation made in their name to a local charity. My mother didn't even invite them to Christmas (yes her own son, DIL and 5 granddaughters!) and is giving them each gift cards "in case Santa forgot something."
WHAT????!!!! WOW. Can you say Dudley????

You should be proud that your own kids were disgusted by her behavior.
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LadyMacbeth 11:13 PM 12-21-2013
This post has been very helpful for me personally. It sums up all the frustrations I've been having toward my step daughters mother. She has allowed her daughter to develop a severe anxiety that forced us to put her in therapy. This child is seven and has zero coping skills. The mother is pointing the finger at everyone and everything as the root of her anxieties. Meanwhile, she screams at us for letting it slip that Santa Claus isn't real because life isn't worth anything without magic apparently. She runs into the house screaming when it's raining and running to the window exclaiming that she thinks the clouds are forming into tornadoes, scaring her daughter. She constantly announces how she could never live in our part off town because it's so dangerous and she would be afraid of someone breaking into the house. It's so frustrating and feel like it has come between us and my sd
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Hunni Bee 04:18 PM 12-22-2013
Like daycarediva, I do/will not introduce Santa/EOTS/insert other magical children's character to my daughter or future children.

It really surprises me how strongly other adults feel about that, as Unregistered suggested we are "denying" our children of something by not going down that road.

As for the child in the blog, I agree that her parents missed a major teachable moment in favor of mollifying her. No coping skills were taught, all that was taught was that if you look sad enough and cry loudly enough and make people feel guilty enough, you'll eventually get what you want.

Now, the magical things that the parents believe will enrich her childhood won't mean as much.

I will never understand why parents try to suppress kids emotions. Why do we teach them that its okay to be happy, sad, angry, disappointed if we never allow them to actually be anything but happy and grinning?
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Unregistered 04:42 PM 12-22-2013
Well I guess this spoiled rotten kid has

always had a bed
always had a roof over her head
always had a hot meal
always had a way for her mom to get her to the doctor
always had meds when she was sick
always had someone hug her and tell her she's loved
always had toys
always had clothes
always had heat

all because of her parents. And her parents have NEVER thought to teach her that maybe that life IS actually tough for a lot of children. If that were MY child crying about an elf or anything else, I'd be giving them a whooping into greatfulness. No way is it OK for a child to act so foolish.
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Play Care 05:46 AM 12-23-2013
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
Like daycarediva, I do/will not introduce Santa/EOTS/insert other magical children's character to my daughter or future children.

It really surprises me how strongly other adults feel about that, as Unregistered suggested we are "denying" our children of something by not going down that road.

As for the child in the blog, I agree that her parents missed a major teachable moment in favor of mollifying her. No coping skills were taught, all that was taught was that if you look sad enough and cry loudly enough and make people feel guilty enough, you'll eventually get what you want.

Now, the magical things that the parents believe will enrich her childhood won't mean as much.

I will never understand why parents try to suppress kids emotions. Why do we teach them that its okay to be happy, sad, angry, disappointed if we never allow them to actually be anything but happy and grinning?
I obviously don't care what other families do, but for me, growing up and having "Santa" was some of the most magical memories of my childhood. When we got to the age where we questioned, my parents were BRILLIANT - talking about the spirit of Christmas (GIVING - "For he so loved the world that he gave his only Son" and being good was about trying to live a Christ like life, etc.) We went to catholic school and attended church every Sunday, so for us, the role of Santa was a way to bring home the TRUE message of Christmas in a fun way. I was never "devastated" by the fact there wasn't an actual fat man in a red suit nor did I feel "lied" to - I felt my parents had gave us a wonderful gift. They never used Santa as leverage coming up to Christmas, we were busy doing Advent activities anyway. And some years we received a gift we asked for and some we didn't - but had we ever thrown a fit over it, we would have had our bottoms blistered - and I've come to think that's actually another gift my parents gave us (though I wouldn't have thought so at the time ) Admittedly I won't do EOTS partly because I don't have the time or inclination to move it around and come up with unique placements for it - we do an advent chain filled with things like collecting food for the local food pantry or caroling at the senior center, etc.
I just feel that Santa is starting to get a bad rap, and it's not his fault
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daycarediva 10:07 AM 12-23-2013
play care- I do agree that Santa is getting a bad rap. Just like "grandma" spoiled the kids this weekend. It's another lazy parenting excuse.


I didn't do Santa (tooth fairy, easter bunny, etc) for a lot of reasons. I started out doing them, and dd figured it all out when she was around 4. We saw two mall Santas in one day, and then her very best friend at school got very little for Christmas and she came home DEVASTATED that Santa was mean to such a good girl.

We fessed up, and that was it. We teach about the story behind Saint Nicholas, and do a lot of charity and volunteer work. I don't think we lost anything by not celebrating in that way at all.

My kids are monetarily spoiled rotten (Imho) but they don't act that way at all. I've never hit them, but if they behaved the way my niece did (does, honestly this was nothing shocking or new) I would want to smack myself for allowing it!
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Hunni Bee 11:06 AM 12-23-2013
Oh no, I don't think Santa's bad. The idea of Santa, done right, IS magical.

I sort of had Santa as a kid, we knew he wasn't "real" but we still took pictures with him and he added to the excitement of Christmas. I wasn't devastated either lol.

I know my kid(s) will encounter Santa at school, on tv, from friends and pretty much everywhere else. I'm just going to treat him like Mickey Mouse, Strawberry Shortcake or any other kids character. Cute, funny but not real and not a big deal.

Hopefully I won't scar them for life.
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My3cents 11:13 AM 12-23-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
They're are alot of negative responses here in this topic. .. calling kids BRATS AND ENTITLED BRATS. Just very surprising for letting daycare providers. . If a family chooses to bring additional"magic" into their home and create more of a magical atmosphere, . Why do you feel the need to down them?
As fat add doing charitable events, I feel is hypocritical to help another child believe in santa and deny your own children that same belief. Children should believe in magic and fairies and we shrug make believe, there is plenty of time for the real world and hard lessons that they WILL encounter IN due time. . Let children be children. . They grow up way to fast already!
I think it is a personal choice that the parents should make. I think the best interest of the child is to make that decision before you have kids as to how you will celebrate the Holidays and what you will believe in. I don't care for the flipping back and fourth, maybe because of the $ issues associated with it all or Religious beliefs. That is my three cents and I stand with, it is up to the parents-

We did the Santa thing with our own kids and I need to research it more but the elf sounds like another fun thing to do with my daycare kiddo's. Maybe next year I will remember to do the elf. I like doing the fun cool things- but I also try to real it in and keep it all real and on the down low and not go nuts with it. I don't think less of anyone because they choose to not do these things or Halloween etc. To each their own-
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Tags:elf on the shelf
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