What are your steps for working with a kid who is actively potty training? I have a 2 yo dcbs who will be 3 in September. He uses the potty frequently. He can manage his pants just fine, sit himself on the potty, wash his hands, everything just fine. He probably goes 3-5 times a day here. But....his pullups/diaper is almost always wet when he goes. And he poops in his diaper almost every morning. So...

I've just been letting him use the potty as frequently as he wants to, but checking for poop before I allow him to enter the bathroom. Learned that lesson the hard way. He wants his privacy & I've seen that he can handle the basic bathroom routine himself now so I stay close by the door to offer assistance, but let him do his thing. One problem...he keeps refusing to put the clean pull-up back on. He is very vocal that he wants underwear & isn't wearing a diaper. I told him that when he keeps his diaper lean & dry all day long then he can wear underwear here, but not until. However I have to check him at the door every time b/c he consistently puts his pants back on w/o the pull-up. One day I changed him 10 minutes before pick up. He pottied immediately after that & didn't put the pull-up back on w/o me realizing it. Got a call from dcm who thankfully found it hilarious when dcb squatted down & pooped in her yard half an hour later no diaper to be found, but I was mortified that I had sent him home w/o a diaper. he keeps pulling the diaper/pull-up (I've used both) off & out from under his clothes & I find them around my playroom. Any tips on addressing this with him?

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Put him in a onesie until he can either use the bathroom with no accidents or understand that can cant just take off his pull up/diaper whenever he pleases.

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I thought of that but I don't think they could find onesies to fit him. He would probably need like a 4t. Most stores I've found only carry up to a 24 mo.

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Duct tape.

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Nope would not fly in my DC.He would have lost his privacy first time removing pull-up.Parents would have to bring the onesies to keep diaper on.Not acceptable for sanitary reasons.FYIthey do sell a comfort piece that extends the crotch on the onesie.Put it on the parent or order for your self.Seems like so much work and child still poops in the diaper.Annoying.

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There are no steps. I'm not sure what you mean by actively potty training, because to me, it sounds like he is using the adult concept of potty training to test his control over a situation. The adults in his life are having him sit on a potty and since you are giving him this huge opportunity that he is not ready for, he is taking full advantage. It is not about peeing or pooping in the potty to him, because he doesn't control that yet. It is about controlling the adults to do what he wants, especially if he doesn't have to clean up the mess. He is not ready to use the potty full time and you are giving him the opportunity to have control over something he is not ready to control. Put a diaper back on and leave it be till he is ready. Onsies, back word pjs, undies over a diaper, ect, can help keep them from taking their diaper off, but I bet if you stop talking about the potty at all and stop taking him all the time and just focus on what two year olds should be focusing on (PLAY), he and you will be less stressed and when he is ready you won't have to be "actively" doing anything, as he will do it himself.

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Here are 4T onesies.

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I agree with this. No child who is not completely potty trained and have been for a while gets complete privacy at my house. I supervise heavily, especially new trainers or currently training kids. In this case I might make it part of a diapering routine but he does not sound like he is ready at this point.

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I definitely agree with him losing his privacy. I will accompany him from now on. But I'm not instigating the potty training at all. I don't ask if he needs to go & I rarely mention it at all. He genuinely says, "I have to pee!" And runs to the potty on his own throughout the day. And he does legitimately pee a lot in the toilet each time he goes so I do believe he is recognizing the urge. But he's not consistent. Obviously he's peeing in the diaper or it wouldn't be wet.
I don't think his parents push him either. They tell me he rarely used the potty at home. I think he is imitating what he sees the other kids doing. I can't see telling him he can't use the potty when he asks so frequently every day. I'm so confused by this.

I guess what I meant by actively potty training is do you sit in the room with them while they go? Do you send them in on their own?

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In this case, because he is not trained, I would be present because if he says he needs to go, yet his pull up is wet, we would do the usual diaper change routine. I would allow him to sit on the potty and finish, but this would be supervised. What he is getting right now is alone time in the bathroom, which he is way too young for and can't handle. That is why he is still pooping and peeing in his pull up. He is not ready to potty train, but he knows that if he uses the potty as an excuse, he gets alone time in the bathroom, which he may not get at home. And maybe that is why he hasn't tried anything at home. He is 2, so he gets no privacy. If he is truly ready, it will work out. If not, he will lose interest the minute you make it less fun by supervising and speeding up the process.

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Thank you. That makes sense to me. We will see how this plays out.

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