I have a family who I am always chasing after for their weekly payment. They are either shorting me, "forgetting" to pay, going on several week long vacations and just not paying me before they leave, or not mentioning it when they get back. They are not bad people, they are just broke like me and everyone else right now.

I offer each family one week unpaid vacation. This child comes from a split family so he takes several weeks off (I was never advised this during the interview). Parents 100% agreed to the contract.

I am a very kind person, and these people are always trying to make me feel guilty about asking for payment. I always ask (I can overcome my guilt for my family's financial security) and eventually get paid, but they always make me have to ask for it, which makes me so uncomfortable.

This week, the child's great grandfather passed away and he hasnt been here all week. He is supposed to come today but no word. Every day this week, they text me after his normal drop off time saying that he wasnt coming. So I had to get up and ready 2 hours earlier everyday this week for no reason.

I am feeling badly about having to ask them to pay for the week even though he wasnt here all week, but I have already given them a break before and I cannot afford to this time.

I guess I just need to hear from someone that I am not a bad person and have no reason to feel guilty. The business part of me will ask and get the money, but I "feel bad."

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No not bad at all! I'm like you with the feeling guilty part though! Money is always a hot topic, but our time is not free. Even though people assume it is, it's not.

I had to make a huge fee for early/late drop offs to deter this stuff because I like my time( and sleep).

I'd kindly call/text them and let them know either payment or two weeks notice is due.

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I don't think you should feel guilty. It's in your contract all the details. And they could have called you the night before to let you know also, at least you could plan accordingly.

I had one parent who gave me "the day off" after waiting half the day for his repairman to come to his home. He called me at noon and said DCB won't be there today so you have the day off!! But come end of week he didn't pay me for that day since I had "off". Nothing like half-way through your DAY OFF he lets you know that you have the day off!

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I ended up texting the mom, and she said she will text the dad to drop the money off. There is about a 40% chance that will happen, without me having to go back and ask a second time.

I was up at 4am thinking about this and have a migrane right now.
Ugh I am so irritated.

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OMG I cant believe that! Did you ask for the money?

It isn't a "day off" if you have to get up and dressed for work, and sit around your house waiting for the kids to arrive.

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You are going to have to turn them away at the door for non-payment at least one time for this to stop.

You are the only one who can. Yes, it is awful but it is also true.

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I most certainly did ask for the money!! You want to know what his response was..... "How about I pay you half your daily rate?". I said "No way, it's hardly fair to say you are giving me the day off when the day was half over anyways!" I did get paid for the whole day.

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Going on several week long vacations contradicts with being broke.


And I don't know of many people that can afford to take a week off when one of their own parents dies, much less a grandparent. My grandmother is my world, but I also have bills to pay. It would be pointless for me to skip out on a weeks worth of work, I cannot believe the child's parents are doing such a thing if they are indeed hard up for money at the moment.


These parents sound like sterotypical poor money managers. That is not your problem and you definitely shouldn't feel bad about it.


Stinks but I agree with Cat Herder, you're going to have to lay it all out and then follow through if this is going to change. Let them know they have to pay, on time, or they will be turned away. Then follow through. They're likely not thinking twice about the position they're putting you in, so why are you extending such extreme courtesy for them and their feelings?

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I think in these times, people want something for nothing. While people know right from wrong and know that they are supposed to pay you, they want to see how far they can push you. My husband used to work in car sales and you would not believe what people would say to get him to come down on car prices ( which are crazy high but people can make any reason "valid") I think you should be proud of yourself for standing up for yourself. It is so hard to do. I would tell the parents that they have until xx/xx/2012 to pay you in full or they will have to find alternate care. If you are stressed over this one family, it is going to affect how you care for the rest of the kids........and that makes the days all that much harder. Good luck!!

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I agree, turn them away for non-payment. Just like any other service, child care isn't free and until the reality of that is made clear to them, they will continue to take advantage. If I have a family that is behind on payments, I tell them that the balance must be caught up in XX days (usually 3 or 4) or I will discontinue childcare. They almost always come up with the $$.

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Good point.

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I'll never forget the first family I offered discounted care for because supposedly they were a dirt poor family working their butts off and both were trying to get through school....after watching them go to Disney twice in one year, seeing mom's perfectly manicured nails each week, fingers and neckline constantly sprinkled with new bling, kids decked out in loads of name brand clothing they rarely wore more than once and confirming with the parents(while they laughed about spoiling them) that the kids had not one, not two, but THREE GIANT playrooms in their house....never again will I worry about a family's financial situation above my own.

Thing is, the ones actually struggling are too proud to ever say anything about it, and the ones taking full advantage that want a free ride everywhere they go are the ones that are perfectly capable of paying their bills, they just don't want to.

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I offered a discounted rate to a family a couple of years ago. It was my first family ever I did that for. Mom was telling me their car had just broken down and they needed a new one, and couldn't afford it. I discounted their rates by 400 a month for the first year in our contract. It was also based upon one child really only coming half days. So two days later they tell me they got a car and express deep appreciation to me. A couple of months later, their son asks if they brought the BMW to pick up that day. Mom and dad sheepishly let him know they did have the BMW. I was stunned!!!!!!!! They then let me in on the fact that they bought a brand new BMW model that just came out two weeks before they made the purchase. My husband used to work for BMW so I was well aware what it costs. I never discounted again.

As far as payment to the OP. All parents have to keep two months of cheques minimum in their file at all times for me to take out and cash on the appropriate day. That took care of all payment issues after that. If they don't have a cheque in their file for me I turn them away on the first day and they have to provide the late fee on top of the cheque. They can remember to pay their mortgages without being asked. And really....how can they "forget" to pay the provider when they have to drop their child off.

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Asking for money would not be so difficult if you had a payment agreement in place stating the basics, like sick days or other absent days, payment due dates, late fees, ramifications for non-payment or late payment, etc...

Have all your clients sign/initial the payment agreement section in your contracts that they understand its content.

Unfortunately, many clients do not see daycare provided in family or home settings as a "real business" and play games on "us" if "we" let get away with it. I know many providers do not want to turn out clients because they will have a drop in income, but if you do not stick up for yourself, the problems will only get worse. If they leave, they would have done so anyway as they were clearly trying to steal your service and saw you will not allow them to do it. If they are not responsible money managers, your warnings will only serve as a wake up call if followed up by action...application of late payment fee, suspension of services, etc...You should have all payments made in advance of the care being provided, not after the care!

You're a professional and must run your business like any other business in the community. You should never ask for payment. They know that a payment is required and when and how it is to be delivered based on your agreement.
First thing you need to do is "Make it clear to yourself" what the payment rules are!. Then you can make it clear to your clients. If they pay late, stop being Ms. Sunshine and start raining on them!

Good luck,

Big Lou

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I agree. People who make poor money choices are not broke. They need to pay for their responsibilities. Get tough. Make it clear you live on your income. They need to pay. Or mo care. Then force them into prepaying. Change their payment terms so you arent chasing their check.

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This is probably the most vented about, most common and WORST issue about child care.

The one thing about providers in this situation that really bothers me though is a good majority of them pass the blame by saying "I am too kind" or "I am a real pushover" or "I am just too nice" etc etc, which to me insinuates that those us who do strictly enforce payments and usually have no issues with payments AREN'T nice or kind at all. (Sorry Sunshine, NOT directed to you only or personally since ALL provider vents/complaints about payments contain some version of those words)

I am just as kind and nice as the next person but I do NOT have issues with payments from my families.

Why? Because I have a strict, firm policy in place and I stick to it. It isn't difficult or complex, just enforced.

The parents and I spell out EXACT pay dates BEFORE any care is ever given. The parents know the dates, the amounts due, the late fees if not paid and the consequences of more than one late payment.

Once this is set up between the parents and myself, we BOTH follow it.

I do hear a few stories and a few excuses as to why they can't pay or maybe short on pay and I empathize with them and feel badly for them but that is where it stops.

Just because I feel badly or can totally understand where they are coming from, NONE of their issues are mine though and I won't borrow or accept anyone else's issues. Payment is due when payment is due.

If parents want to tell me their money troubles, I have no problem putting on my listening ears and hearing their vents and problems. I feel badly and I feel like I want to help them out just like anyone else would feel.

The difference is though I listen but I don't act.

Just like a tattling daycare child. They are telling me something but there is no obligation to act on my part.

The problems escalate 99.9% of the time because the provider feels like she is being forced to do something by the venting parent. Why?

It is just as easy to say "Gosh Sally, sounds like you are having trouble making ends meet. I sure wish I could help you but I too count on my income."

If the parent had the nerve to simply say they were going to pay late, I would say "Oh, I understand. But don't forget that when you do drop off your check, include the $10 per day late fee and remember there will also be no services until your balance is paid in full." this is usually where the provider makes the second mistake. They let the late payment slide but then continue to provide services.

The second time a parent is late, the late fee doubles. Still no services until paid in full.

The third late fee and I charge triple the original late fee and I term them. At this point you aren't losing a client, you are losing a family you are working for for free basically and that is ok, because I would rather not have them as clients since they aren't paying anyways and look for a family who will pay.

I also only give them 5 days to make the late payment (or payment arrangements) before I consider them withdrawn and will fill their space. NO SERVICES are ever provided if ANY money is due.

Bottom line is you CAN be nice and kind and still enforce your policies. Again, like everything else it is all in the communication you use and the words you use to say it.

"Boy Sally, I sure wish I could help you out but according to our payment contract, a late fee will automatically be added to your bill and Johnny won't be able to come until the billis paid. I sure hope you find a way to get through this. Have a good weekend. Bye"

That might sound cheesy, or mean even to some, but seriously no one is going to collect your fees for you and until you start enforcing your policies, the parents are never going to follow them.

You are the leader in this situation so stop standing there and wondering what to do and take the lead!

What is the worst thing that could happen? They might leave? Well they aren't paying you now and you are working for free so why would them leaving be a bad thing?

Sorry for the novel but when providers vent about payment issues....I feel like a provider dealing with a non-paying client........I truly feel bad for them but I can't do anything about it.

ONLY YOU can do it.

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Blackcat you can write a novel anytime! I always learn something from you! I have to agree though with what you wrote. I also say why go through the time and trouble of writing a policy if you aren't going to stick by it? It's not that we are mean in trying to collect our money, but we too have to pay bills. I have found that when enforcing your policies it does make your business run more smoothly.

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