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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Why Are They Sooooo Negligent?
SunshineMama 06:22 AM 01-23-2014
It is so frustrating to see parents so involved with themselves that they don't take the time to take proper care of their kids

DCB is 5, and in dds K class. He missed the first week of school for "vacation" (aka, the parents didn't bother to get him registered until the second week, has missed a few random days in between, and has missed the past 2 weeks, bc dcps didn't bother to get him vaccinated, and he was kicked out of school until he got his vaccines. It frustrates me to no end bc this child is already way behind, and isn't getting any help at home. Everyday before school, he tells me that his mom never feeds him breakfast. The boy is almost 6, and is about 1/4" shorter than my 3 year old daughter. (I do feed him when he arrives bc I feel bad for him). In his lunches she packs him cookies and chips, and fruity syrup drinks.

DCG is 1, and has the most clueless parents in the world. She shows up today super clingy to mom, and then cries when mom hands her off to me. Dcm looks at me and says she is just cranky this morning. Took DCG's temp- it was 99.1 underarm. She's "cranky" bc she is sick, dcm! This is the same dcg I posted the other day about needing a 4 hour nap almost every day. My temp cutoff is 100, so she is under that, but its 9am and she is already laying in a fetal position on the floor trying to sleep. I should probably send her home, but I feel bad bc I was out yesterday with the stomach flu and had to call off.

I just fail to understand how people can be so negligent with their own children.
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My3cents 06:58 AM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
It is so frustrating to see parents so involved with themselves that they don't take the time to take proper care of their kids

DCB is 5, and in dds K class. He missed the first week of school for "vacation" (aka, the parents didn't bother to get him registered until the second week, has missed a few random days in between, and has missed the past 2 weeks, bc dcps didn't bother to get him vaccinated, and he was kicked out of school until he got his vaccines. It frustrates me to no end bc this child is already way behind, and isn't getting any help at home. Everyday before school, he tells me that his mom never feeds him breakfast. The boy is almost 6, and is about 1/4" shorter than my 3 year old daughter. (I do feed him when he arrives bc I feel bad for him). In his lunches she packs him cookies and chips, and fruity syrup drinks.

DCG is 1, and has the most clueless parents in the world. She shows up today super clingy to mom, and then cries when mom hands her off to me. Dcm looks at me and says she is just cranky this morning. Took DCG's temp- it was 99.1 underarm. She's "cranky" bc she is sick, dcm! This is the same dcg I posted the other day about needing a 4 hour nap almost every day. My temp cutoff is 100, so she is under that, but its 9am and she is already laying in a fetal position on the floor trying to sleep. I should probably send her home, but I feel bad bc I was out yesterday with the stomach flu and had to call off.

I just fail to understand how people can be so negligent with their own children.
perfect chance for you to try and educate the Mom. Try being the key word.

If the child is sick and can't participate with the other kids you are perfectly ok to send the child home. You should keep your feelings out of it- it has nothing to do with you being out.

I have had a client that had a delayed start to the school year for the same type of reasons,didn't enroll, etc... turned out to be great client, just was going through a transition and rough patch.

Nap- do your own nap routine. Quiet time for us here is Noon to 3. It takes about a half hour to get everyone down and wake up usually starts to happen around 2:30. If I know a child is run down or out of sorts I will let the child sleep no later then 3:30 or if we get a late start to rest time. If you establish routine at daycare then after a few weeks the child should fall into a routine at home of going to bed earlier out of being tired. 4 hour naps is too long unless under one. If your up against a parent that won't work with you, then you need to have a verbal chit chat with parent and say lets try to work together and resolve this issue. Would it be possible to have daycare child have a regular set bed time at home? Keeping in mind you can't control home life, but if you word things right you can help a parent to understand why and where your coming from and that in the long run its going to benefit the child.

Your house, your rules.

No one is going to parent their child the same way as you. It is heart breaking at times. This child is not getting the food you would serve but the child is getting food. Not Neglect. Crappy parenting but not neglect. Same with letting a child stay up all night- not neglect. Crappy parenting. For some parents I can understand this that they keep the child up so they can spend time with the child because of work hours. That type of lifestyle is not conducive to most daycare routines. The parent would be better off hiring a Nanny that is willing to work that type of schedule.

Being a great provider is knowing what you are willing to work and put up with, within your families and what your not willing to do. If you allow parents to run your program then you get what you get. If you set rules, boundaries and expectations for when the child is in your care you usually end up with more respect from your clients.

If a child is not working out, find another child for your program. You have to think of your existing families and how this effects them. It can become a quick trickle down effect of loosing clients do to keeping a child that does not fit well in your program, or a family that doesn't fit well. Your other clients will see this-

Best-
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Blackcat31 08:36 AM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
It is so frustrating to see parents so involved with themselves that they don't take the time to take proper care of their kids

DCB is 5, and in dds K class. He missed the first week of school for "vacation" (aka, the parents didn't bother to get him registered until the second week, has missed a few random days in between, and has missed the past 2 weeks, bc dcps didn't bother to get him vaccinated, and he was kicked out of school until he got his vaccines. It frustrates me to no end bc this child is already way behind, and isn't getting any help at home. Everyday before school, he tells me that his mom never feeds him breakfast. The boy is almost 6, and is about 1/4" shorter than my 3 year old daughter. (I do feed him when he arrives bc I feel bad for him). In his lunches she packs him cookies and chips, and fruity syrup drinks.

DCG is 1, and has the most clueless parents in the world. She shows up today super clingy to mom, and then cries when mom hands her off to me. Dcm looks at me and says she is just cranky this morning. Took DCG's temp- it was 99.1 underarm. She's "cranky" bc she is sick, dcm! This is the same dcg I posted the other day about needing a 4 hour nap almost every day. My temp cutoff is 100, so she is under that, but its 9am and she is already laying in a fetal position on the floor trying to sleep. I should probably send her home, but I feel bad bc I was out yesterday with the stomach flu and had to call off.

I just fail to understand how people can be so negligent with their own children.
In most cases the parents that are MORE involved with themselves verses their children are simply people who have gotten used to others feeling bad for them and picking up the slack so that becomes their "parenting style".

It then gets reinforced by others.

YOU are doing it right now.


Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
...she is already laying in a fetal position on the floor trying to sleep. I should probably send her home, but I feel bad bc I was out yesterday with the stomach flu and had to call off.

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SunshineMama 09:03 AM 01-23-2014
Words I needed to hear!
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TwinKristi 09:51 AM 01-23-2014
Why hasn't the school reported this to CPS? Isn't it against the law to keep your kids out of school like this? I could see if they were home schooling but just not doing anything isn't legit. And I don't know what state you're in but almost every state in the US has some exclusion for vaccines policy. Some require a dr's note or a form to be filled out.
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Msdunny 09:59 AM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
Why hasn't the school reported this to CPS? Isn't it against the law to keep your kids out of school like this? I could see if they were home schooling but just not doing anything isn't legit. And I don't know what state you're in but almost every state in the US has some exclusion for vaccines policy. Some require a dr's note or a form to be filled out.
I know in the state I am in, school isn't compulsory until age 7, so they may not report a 5 yr. old that is missing a lot of school. But that is just my guess.
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Blackcat31 10:13 AM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by Msdunny:
I know in the state I am in, school isn't compulsory until age 7, so they may not report a 5 yr. old that is missing a lot of school. But that is just my guess.
Same here. School attendance isn't mandatory until age 7.
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Lucy 10:13 AM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
...the parents didn't bother to get him registered until the second week...
Don't they have "Kindergarten Roundup" in the Spring? That's what it's called here. In early May, you go in and get all the paperwork and assessments done. They advertise the heck out of it, so first time parents of kids that are the right age will know about it.

I just assumed it was similar everywhere. ??
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melilley 11:08 AM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
It is so frustrating to see parents so involved with themselves that they don't take the time to take proper care of their kids

DCB is 5, and in dds K class. He missed the first week of school for "vacation" (aka, the parents didn't bother to get him registered until the second week, has missed a few random days in between, and has missed the past 2 weeks, bc dcps didn't bother to get him vaccinated, and he was kicked out of school until he got his vaccines. It frustrates me to no end bc this child is already way behind, and isn't getting any help at home. Everyday before school, he tells me that his mom never feeds him breakfast. The boy is almost 6, and is about 1/4" shorter than my 3 year old daughter. (I do feed him when he arrives bc I feel bad for him). In his lunches she packs him cookies and chips, and fruity syrup drinks.

DCG is 1, and has the most clueless parents in the world. She shows up today super clingy to mom, and then cries when mom hands her off to me. Dcm looks at me and says she is just cranky this morning. Took DCG's temp- it was 99.1 underarm. She's "cranky" bc she is sick, dcm! This is the same dcg I posted the other day about needing a 4 hour nap almost every day. My temp cutoff is 100, so she is under that, but its 9am and she is already laying in a fetal position on the floor trying to sleep. I should probably send her home, but I feel bad bc I was out yesterday with the stomach flu and had to call off.

I just fail to understand how people can be so negligent with their own children.
I don't get it either.
I freak out if my dd misses a day! Dcb probably doesn't have to attend school, but dcp's should be doing something imo.

And remember, if you take an underarm temp., you should add a degree. I wouldn't feel bad sending dcg home. It's not your fault you were sick yesterday and it isn't your fault dcg is sick.
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daycarediva 11:26 AM 01-23-2014
I was the Mom with the kid almost booted for a vaccine! HAHA!

Funny story, we had K round up and pre entry 'testing'. I filled out my paperwork, mailed it in. Ds was accepted into a class. We met the teacher. He started school.

a MONTH later I get a letter saying DS can't come back to school because he was missing a Hep vax. He WAS missing one. He was supposed to get it in the hospital, but never did because he needed oxygen, and then we got transferred. Our former pedi never caught the error to catch him back up, and our new pediatrician has electronic records and essentially only the vax's that HE has given the kids without digging through forms.

I made an emergency appt for the next day, ds got his vax and then went to school.

Poor kid. I felt like one CRAPPY mom, and seriously retold the school nurse that entire story ^
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SunshineMama 12:23 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
Why hasn't the school reported this to CPS? Isn't it against the law to keep your kids out of school like this? I could see if they were home schooling but just not doing anything isn't legit. And I don't know what state you're in but almost every state in the US has some exclusion for vaccines policy. Some require a dr's note or a form to be filled out.
The school said he couldn't come back until he was vaccinated. They aren't holistic- just negligent and lazy. I don't think the child has had a checkup since he was 2, unless he goes to some after hours, weekend pediatric office. But ya think they would have gotten his mandatory shots

Apparently, he missed today, because his "shots hurt" from yesterday.
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SunshineMama 12:24 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by Lucy:
Don't they have "Kindergarten Roundup" in the Spring? That's what it's called here. In early May, you go in and get all the paperwork and assessments done. They advertise the heck out of it, so first time parents of kids that are the right age will know about it.

I just assumed it was similar everywhere. ??
Yes, they do. My dd did it. His parents never signed him up for any of that. They somehow got him in a week after school started, last minute by some act of luck.
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SunshineMama 12:25 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I was the Mom with the kid almost booted for a vaccine! HAHA!

Funny story, we had K round up and pre entry 'testing'. I filled out my paperwork, mailed it in. Ds was accepted into a class. We met the teacher. He started school.

a MONTH later I get a letter saying DS can't come back to school because he was missing a Hep vax. He WAS missing one. He was supposed to get it in the hospital, but never did because he needed oxygen, and then we got transferred. Our former pedi never caught the error to catch him back up, and our new pediatrician has electronic records and essentially only the vax's that HE has given the kids without digging through forms.

I made an emergency appt for the next day, ds got his vax and then went to school.

Poor kid. I felt like one CRAPPY mom, and seriously retold the school nurse that entire story ^
He had a paper from the school in his backpack, detailing all of the times the school had contacted the parents about the issue. 8-9 times since last September!
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melonieb 12:50 PM 01-23-2014
I had a sick child all last week. No fever, but endless runny nose, real bad cough, no appetite, and slept a lot. I informed mom and she finally told me Friday that she would take her to the pedi. Friday at pick up mom came in 5 minutes before closing, asked her if she was gonna take the child, she said no cuz she was getting her hair did. Poor kid cam on Tuesday with another endless runny nose. No doctor for that child. Priorities out of wack.
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dave4him 03:05 PM 01-23-2014
What annoys me is how on the days when my niece goes to preschool for most of the day, she is always clean and dressed nice when pick her up. When she is here all day she always arrives some random time between 8-10, half the time claiming she is hungry and hasnt ate, and never looks near as good. And of course if i try to sit her down and teach her stuff she isnt paying any attention. but learns everything from her preschool. Not to mention im being way underpaid... never work with family!
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craftymissbeth 05:28 PM 01-23-2014
Originally Posted by dave4him:
What annoys me is how on the days when my niece goes to preschool for most of the day, she is always clean and dressed nice when pick her up. When she is here all day she always arrives some random time between 8-10, half the time claiming she is hungry and hasnt ate, and never looks near as good. And of course if i try to sit her down and teach her stuff she isnt paying any attention. but learns everything from her preschool. Not to mention im being way underpaid... never work with family!


I could have wrote this myself!
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