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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Child Leaving Lovey
Ac114 10:54 AM 03-23-2018
I have a 3 year old DKG that brings a small bear everyday. The thing is disgusting. She wipes her nose on it, coughs on it, sucks on it etc. she is only allowed to have it at nap because I just find the thing gross and she literally won’t put it down and I it prevents her fully engaging in any activity. (Like she only has one arm because she’s holding the bear with her other arm) Anyways, I always sit it on a bench in the kitchen at pick up time so they can take it with them. On several occasions it has been left at our house which I get a text anywhere from 6-8pm asking if they left it here. They will literally drive back over to come get it and I’ll have to remove myself from whatever activity I’m trying to do with the family i.e watching a movie, dinner, playing board games etc. I just find it annoying when this happens. How petty would it be to say we’re not home the next time this happens and wait until 10pm and say something along the lines like sorry it’s late- we’re just getting home..... but honestly I feel like they would still come back over to get it.
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mamamanda 10:58 AM 03-23-2018
I wouldn't say you're not home. I would just address it & say that anything left at daycare will have to be picked up the next day as this is your time with your family. Im pretty sure they wouldn't ask their boss to open up their workplace after hours. They shouldn't ask that of you either.
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Blackcat31 11:00 AM 03-23-2018
Originally Posted by Ac114:
I have a 3 year old DKG that brings a small bear everyday. The thing is disgusting. She wipes her nose on it, coughs on it, sucks on it etc. she is only allowed to have it at nap because I just find the thing gross and she literally won’t put it down and I it prevents her fully engaging in any activity. (Like she only has one arm because she’s holding the bear with her other arm) Anyways, I always sit it on a bench in the kitchen at pick up time so they can take it with them. On several occasions it has been left at our house which I get a text anywhere from 6-8pm asking if they left it here. They will literally drive back over to come get it and I’ll have to remove myself from whatever activity I’m trying to do with the family i.e watching a movie, dinner, playing board games etc. I just find it annoying when this happens. How petty would it be to say we’re not home the next time this happens and wait until 10pm and say something along the lines like sorry it’s late- we’re just getting home..... but honestly I feel like they would still come back over to get it.
I allow blankets but not stuffed animals (unless they are washable) but NO ONE is allowed to bring their blanket back and forth from home.

I have a fear of lice, bed bugs, scabies and all sorts of similar things....

Yeah, no.
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hwichlaz 11:12 AM 03-23-2018
I agree, let them know that they can only come during business hours, that if it's that crucial to have at home, they should keep it at home.
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Play Care 11:31 AM 03-23-2018
This happened to me when I first started out. In my case it was a small blanket. So I said nap time only and it went in her go home bag as soon as nap was over. I put it there myself and made sure it was out of her reach, so there could be no secret "take backs" while my back was turned. Of course this is just if you want to allow a lovey from home. Many providers do not for good reason.
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LittleExplorers 12:00 PM 03-23-2018
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
I agree, let them know that they can only come during business hours, that if it's that crucial to have at home, they should keep it at home.



This! As it is a recurring issue I would say they can no longer bring it. They are welcome to get a new xyz to leave at daycare but no more bringing back and forth.

I have nothing that goes back and forth other than snowgear.
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Ac114 12:05 PM 03-23-2018
I’m considering telling them that it can no longer come here which I know will result in them finding care elsewhere. One of the reason they left their old childcare center is because she was not allowed to have it there and was put in her cubby.

DCM verbatim: her old sitter made her put it in her bin during the day and we just didnt like that, so we started looking for care elsewhere.

🤦🏼*♀️🤷🏼*♀️
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Play Care 12:12 PM 03-23-2018
Originally Posted by Ac114:
I’m considering telling them that it can no longer come here which I know will result in them finding care elsewhere. One of the reason they left their old childcare center is because she was not allowed to have it there and was put in her cubby.

DCM verbatim: her old sitter made her put it in her bin during the day and we just didnt like that, so we started looking for care elsewhere.

🤦🏼*♀️🤷🏼*♀️
Then I would start advertising today. And when they decide to leave over a teddy bear you can happily see the back of them.
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Blackcat31 12:27 PM 03-23-2018
Originally Posted by Ac114:
I’m considering telling them that it can no longer come here which I know will result in them finding care elsewhere. One of the reason they left their old childcare center is because she was not allowed to have it there and was put in her cubby.

DCM verbatim: her old sitter made her put it in her bin during the day and we just didnt like that, so we started looking for care elsewhere.

🤦🏼*♀️🤷🏼*♀️
So they left their old daycare over something as silly as their child not being allowed to have a nasty, dirty, germ- ridden stuffed animal?

I'd do as Play Care said and start looking to fill their space. They'll probably withdraw from your care next week anyways as you might try and use some common sense and try to encourage their child to become LESS dependent on her lovey.....or maybe because Tuesday came before Wednesday and they didn't like that. *sigh*

Parents that pull their kids from programs due to silly reasons like that are the type of parents I try hard to never enroll.

You can never please them and it always ends badly.
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MomBoss 12:54 PM 03-23-2018
I would not respond to texts/calls after business hours. Like other businesses there wouldnt be someone there to answer. Respond when you open the next morning. A forgotten stuffed animal is not an emergency...
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finsup 02:38 PM 03-23-2018
Oh my goodness They would seriously leave, at this point, multiple care givers over a stuffed animal?! Kindergarten ought to be interesting for them...
If it were me, I would simply tell them bear stays home and if that means they pull so be it. Otherwise I'd probably just ignore the message and deal with it when I open the next day. Granted they probably wouldn't like that either (or that I purposely would not answering my door if they "stopped by" anyways). But yeah, wow. Good luck!
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Unregistered 02:49 PM 03-23-2018
I'm a little more sympathetic towards loveys. If someone forgets, I'll leave it on the front stoop behind my plant stand. They can pick it up whenever it's convenient for them. They have what they need and I'm not bothered by a knock on the door.
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Unregistered 03:20 PM 03-23-2018
How bad do you need the client? If you would be in a bad position without them, then you are kinda stuck. You already knew they were the kind of parents who would leave a provider who told their snowflake no. If it is left it would put it in a baggie on the front step and a text saying “it’s here”. And let them fetch it for the little one without bothering you.
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Ariana 06:29 PM 03-23-2018
I have a DCK who comes in with the gross disgusting “babies” and they go in his bag until nap time. I also launder the things regularly. I don’t mind it because this kid is a MESS and he really does need them but they are in his bag or on his bed only. He cannot carry them around.

I have also placed these babies in a ziplock bag on my front step when they have been forgotten and the parents want to come pick them up and I am busy.
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CeriBear 11:22 AM 03-24-2018
I also have a little girl who brings a lovey to school everyday. She’s 4 and says she had “kitty” since she was a baby. The animal is tattered and worn and obviously a favorite cuddly. In my class these sleeptime buddies are only allowed during naptime and are kept in cubbies at other times. The only exception to this rule is if a child is having a rough day I might allow him/her to sit in a chair with their buddy but I do not let them carry these items around the room or pass them around to other kids.
I have never had to deal with a parent calling and asking for a toy back after hours because I work in a center. Most of my kids don’t still sleep with toys and the little girl who does is really good about remembering to get kitty.
If I had a home-based Business I’d probably do like some of you do and put the toy in a bag on the porch.
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boy_mom 12:46 PM 03-24-2018
If this was me, I would just be unavailable when they called looking for any thing after daycare closes. You have business hours, it's ok to stick to them!

In my contract I had my hours of operation and my phone hours listed. I could be reached an hour before opening and a half hour after closing. If they called to say they forgot something during that time frame, I would place it outside on the front stoop. But after that they'd be SOL
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Unregistered 01:44 PM 03-24-2018
You guys are nicer than me. I would thrown it out once it became a recurrence and replied with "No" if they texted me if I saw it. I find it concerning she's just taking it anywhere and they think it's ok to bring into your home.
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Unregistered 05:18 PM 03-25-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
You guys are nicer than me. I would thrown it out once it became a recurrence and replied with "No" if they texted me if I saw it. I find it concerning she's just taking it anywhere and they think it's ok to bring into your home.

OMG! Seriously. Something is wrong with you to throw out a child's lovey. They are a security object for a child.
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Unregistered 07:05 PM 03-25-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
OMG! Seriously. Something is wrong with you to throw out a child's lovey. They are a security object for a child.
If it was a recurring event, it would be in garbage. One, as I've explained, I don't want something in my home that the parents had no idea where its been. The lovey can be in a public restroom for all they know. Two, if it has been hours as OP stated it's not really the child. I have watched many children, including mine and relatives, no child waits hours for something to be gone and freaks out. The parents are not only enabling negative behavior, they are actively encouraging it.
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LysesKids 09:18 AM 03-26-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I allow blankets but not stuffed animals (unless they are washable) but NO ONE is allowed to bring their blanket back and forth from home.

I have a fear of lice, bed bugs, scabies and all sorts of similar things....

Yeah, no.
The one thing my oldest daughter told me (as a parent to 4 kids herself), that she would never put her children in a home daycare that was filled with stuffed animals ... "the germs are Nasty Mom, so glad you don't offer stuffed toys in your childcare" . Got to love it, but it's the same reason I don't allow diaper bags, blankets or even spare clothes to go back & forth... I wash up clothes here after changing into spares; I have parents switch out each season, so I am never shorted
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happymom 09:52 AM 03-26-2018
I ran into this once as a parent.

Daycare asked to have a blanket left at daycare for naps. I sent my son's favorite, it was his first day at daycare. I didn't think it was something he couldn't live without.

That night, when he went to bed and realized it was still at daycare. He was really awfully sad.

The next day we traded it for one he didn't love so much and his beloved blanket stayed at home.

This was at a center, so once daycare is closed. ITS CLOSED. But if it was still before closing time, I would have absolutely driven back to get it for him.
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AmyKidsCo 12:49 PM 03-26-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm a little more sympathetic towards loveys. If someone forgets, I'll leave it on the front stoop behind my plant stand. They can pick it up whenever it's convenient for them. They have what they need and I'm not bothered by a knock on the door.
I am too. I wouldn't like it if I had to give up my phone or purse somewhere so I don't expect children to give up their comfort items either.

I put the item in a plastic bag and leave it on the front porch for the parents to pick up at their convenience. Occasionally it's still there the next morning.

Originally Posted by Unregistered:
You guys are nicer than me. I would thrown it out once it became a recurrence and replied with "No" if they texted me if I saw it. I find it concerning she's just taking it anywhere and they think it's ok to bring into your home.
I would be livid if someone threw out my child's lovey. You can refuse to have it in your home, but it's not your property so you don't have the right to throw it out.
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Play Care 03:34 PM 03-26-2018
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
I am too. I wouldn't like it if I had to give up my phone or purse somewhere so I don't expect children to give up their comfort items either.

I put the item in a plastic bag and leave it on the front porch for the parents to pick up at their convenience. Occasionally it's still there the next morning.



I would be livid if someone threw out my child's lovey. You can refuse to have it in your home, but it's not your property so you don't have the right to throw it out.

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Meeko 07:11 PM 03-26-2018
Nothing from home. Period. Happy (and clean) life.
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CeriBear 03:59 AM 03-27-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
You guys are nicer than me. I would thrown it out once it became a recurrence and replied with "No" if they texted me if I saw it. I find it concerning she's just taking it anywhere and they think it's ok to bring into your home.
I don’t think I could ever toss out a child’s lovey. Not only are they someone else’s property but a child’s security blanket.
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Josiegirl 04:15 AM 03-27-2018
I just use the reasoning the my dogs will eat it. It works. It took awhile to say(and especially enforce) 'nothing from home' but after replacing a couple things dcks left here, because my dogs found them, I refused toys and blankets. I have blankets here they can use, nice soft cuddly ones. Only problem I have at the moment is losing pacifiers because 1 dcg cries for it all the time. I don't have the heart(or patience ) to keep that away from her when she needs it.
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