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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Husband "Visiting" During Daycare Hours
MomBoss 01:56 PM 03-26-2018
Does anyones husband “visit” them during daycare hours? My husband isnt seen by the parents much as my daycare is in the basement and has a seperate entrance, but when hes done working he likes to come downstairs and chat with me. Even though it is also his home, how do parents feel about husbands being around? I feel like the parents might find him intimidating or think im not working if im talking with him.
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Jupadia 02:03 PM 03-26-2018
My husband works out of home so he dose not come down to the daycare during the day. Even on the few times he is at home he only comes down for short period but will then bring our boys up or out for the day.
In the mornings though he isofton seen by a parent or two while he drops off our boys (brings them downstairs). The kids all no him as Mr. First name. None of my parents have a problem with it.
As well I actuuly have him down as a sub. The only time I've actually used him is for 2 weeks straight while I was healing from my c section after the birth of my youngest.
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CityGarden 02:09 PM 03-26-2018
I am single but I personally find it distracting and annoying when people want to "visit" or "drop by" during my work as I cannot actually "visit" with them while also focusing my whole attention on my job. My mom, brother and a parent from my dd's school have tried visiting and honestly it is just a distraction.

I would feel differently if they were contributing to my work like Black Cats husband does though....
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CityGarden 02:10 PM 03-26-2018
As a parent in a home setting I would want to know who was around my kids..... if I did not know your husband would be around then I would not expect that.
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DaveA 02:12 PM 03-26-2018
My wife doesn’t “visit”. She’s a part of this home and this family. The classroom area is part of the main area of the house, so if she’s home she interacts with me & DCKs. She subs for me occasionally. But even if she’s not doing daycare stuff she’s not barred from any part of the house just because I’m working. If any DCP has a problem with my wife’s presence they can find other care.
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TheMisplacedMidwestMom 02:18 PM 03-26-2018
My husband comes home everyday for lunch and eats with all of us. He also comes down to talk with me after work occasionally. All my families know upfront that he will be around from time to time, but not alone with the kids. One of my dcg absolutely won't leave his side when's he down. One of my daycare dads talks with him for FOREVER sometimes at pick up.

I guess I always saw it as part of being in our home setting.
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MomBoss 02:24 PM 03-26-2018
He is very social with the parents when they have seen him so they are aware of him,but he never watches the kids for me or anything like that. If we are outside playing, he is sometimes outside too but sitting on the deck. I guess with inhome daycare you have to assume the person has a family and they will be around. When my son went to an inhome daycare, the woman had a husband and teenage sons. I alwys saw them at pickup. It didnt bother me,so maybe im over thinking this lol
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hwichlaz 02:57 PM 03-26-2018
I would assume that anyone living in my provider’s household will be around my children....it’s kind of a no-brainer. sometimes spouses have days off.
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DaveA 03:10 PM 03-26-2018
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
I am single but I personally find it distracting and annoying when people want to "visit" or "drop by" during my work as I cannot actually "visit" with them while also focusing my whole attention on my job. My mom, brother and a parent from my dd's school have tried visiting and honestly it is just a distraction.

I would feel differently if they were contributing to my work like Black Cats husband does though....
That’s a whole different ball game. I hate it if someone assumes because I’m home I’m available.

Originally Posted by CityGarden:
As a parent in a home setting I would want to know who was around my kids..... if I did not know your husband would be around then I would not expect that.
Agreed on letting parents know. I tell parents if DW or my sub will be subbing for me, have a repair tech coming, or anyone else being here who isn’t part of the household. But frankly if someone enrolls in a home daycare/ family childcare and then is stunned the home has a family, well that’s on them. :rolleyes
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Pestle 04:25 PM 03-26-2018
It's in my handbook that my husband may sometimes be home and interact with the children. He usually makes a brief appearance during the interview.

When he is home, I make him read to the kids so I can take a bathroom break/wash day care dishes/prep food.
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Unregistered 05:36 PM 03-26-2018
My husband somes down often during the day, usually when he is going off to work (on call) The kids all love hime and call him Papa G .
He rabble rouses the lot of them and then cheerfully leaves, leaving me to settle them down. LOL

The parents have all met him at the interviews because he is my backup for drs appointments.

My parents also don't have a problem with them calling him Papa because they are all from different cultures and their grandparents are called different names therefore no confusion.
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Meeko 07:06 PM 03-26-2018
Originally Posted by DaveA:
My wife doesn’t “visit”. She’s a part of this home and this family. The classroom area is part of the main area of the house, so if she’s home she interacts with me & DCKs. She subs for me occasionally. But even if she’s not doing daycare stuff she’s not barred from any part of the house just because I’m working. If any DCP has a problem with my wife’s presence they can find other care.
So with Dave on this one. My husband (also named Dave!) and I are part of a package. We all are. Me, hubby, 33 year old son and two daughters age 23 and 21. This a FAMILY daycare in our HOME. Anyone who has a problem with my family members being in their own home needs to leave....before the door hits them.

I do make this perfectly clear at interview. Package deal or look elsewhere.
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Sunchimes 07:44 PM 03-26-2018
My husband is retired and in poor health. He rarely goes out without me, so he is always nearby. He hangs out with us when he gets tired of tv. He reads to the kids, plays with them, shows them how to build cool block buildings, pretty much anything I would do except change diapers. No one would care if he did that, but he would never consider it. If he helped out while I had 2 broken arms, I would have to figure out how to change diapers with my feet. The kids love him, my parents like him, it's in my handbook. I have never had anyone blink twice about it.
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storybookending 08:12 PM 03-26-2018
I am not married but I have occasional visitors of my grandma and my best friend. They are both approved subs. I tell parents I will inform them outside of any emergencies if I am planning on leaving children with them for any length of time but sometimes they are “just visiting” at pick up.

A few of my dcms have told me that they like that my best friend comes and visits the kids from time to time as they feel more comfortable the few times a year I do need to leave them in her care since they get to know her and I’m not leaving them with a complete stranger that doesn’t know their kids and their routines. My best friend works in retail here in town and it’s a pretty small town. She told me today she saw one of my daycare girls at the store this weekend and she yelled loud and proud “no mommy, go in (best friends names) check out line”. I of course already knew this bc dcm has texted me saying how cute it was.
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Ac114 07:06 AM 03-27-2018
My husband usually get home between 4 and 4:30 everyday. My daycare closes at 5:30. Because my daycare is in our main living areas, he does spend about 15-20 minutes chatting and rousing the kids up before he goes up to take a shower. All my kids love him. They hear him come in the door and they all run towards him saying “B” come play. (He’s the fun one I guess) none of my parents have had an issue with this.
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Miss A 07:28 AM 03-27-2018
Originally Posted by DaveA:
My wife doesn’t “visit”. She’s a part of this home and this family. The classroom area is part of the main area of the house, so if she’s home she interacts with me & DCKs. She subs for me occasionally. But even if she’s not doing daycare stuff she’s not barred from any part of the house just because I’m working. If any DCP has a problem with my wife’s presence they can find other care.
This, 100%. To me, when a parent chooses to enroll their child in a family childcare program, they are understanding that my family will be present. I will not hide my husband or limit his access to our home while I am working because that is not what family childcare is about. I do not consider him popping into the playroom after work a "visit", because this is his home and as my husband he has a place in my family childcare.

My DCB's get so excited when my DH is home early. He plays with them differently than I do, and therefore in their eyes that makes him so much cooler than Miss A.
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BrynleeJean 01:26 PM 03-27-2018
yup. i think your just over thinking it. easy to do
my husband would hide when daycare families came to the door lol talk about over thinking! he was my sub and super quiet and friendly, i think he though what you did, that they just didnt wanna see anything distracting me so he would leave, and be embarrassed if they like followed me in the kitchen and found him there making dinner or something. like as if they'd be thinking "what are you doing here in your own home making dinner" haha
you know if its distracting you, i wouldn't have my back turned snuggling with my hubby but if hubby needs to come tell me something or wants to come hang out in the environment, so be it.
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Ariana 10:08 AM 03-28-2018
Yes my husband does all the time! I tell my families upfront that my husband works from home a lot and that he is here until 9am and then is home again at 4pm when he goes in to his office. I also tell them routinely about interactions he has with the kids because the kids love him. He is the fun guy who never lays down the law
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Play Care 10:25 AM 03-28-2018
For some reason when I initially read the thread title it brought to mind the provider on here who used to tell us she and her hubby would make out (and more) during nap time.

But that was NOT what you meant.
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Gemma 01:47 PM 03-28-2018
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
I would assume that anyone living in my provider’s household will be around my children....it’s kind of a no-brainer. sometimes spouses have days off.
That^^^
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SpringBear 06:11 PM 02-24-2020
I'm definitely of the mindset that home daycare is just that. Anyone who lives in the home could be present at any point, and involved in anyway (as long as appropriate). I can't imagine expecting my husband to stay clear. If anything, I'd encourage him to be around to give me any amount of little breaks to get stuff done.
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Unregistered 10:26 AM 02-26-2020
Originally Posted by DaveA:
My wife doesn’t “visit”. She’s a part of this home and this family. The classroom area is part of the main area of the house, so if she’s home she interacts with me & DCKs. She subs for me occasionally. But even if she’s not doing daycare stuff she’s not barred from any part of the house just because I’m working. If any DCP has a problem with my wife’s presence they can find other care.
This right here! My husband lives in this house! He pays the mortgage. He works shift work and is off at least two weekdays every week so he is here. He does what he wants in his own home (within reason of course LOL). I tell every parent that he is here a lot and that he will be helping out with the kids. I have never had a parent object to it! As a matter of fact most are very happy to know he's here. He does projects with the kids, helps me take them for walks, takes them outside at times to play, etc. My son is also here nearly every day for lunch and my daughter and granddaughter drop by to visit at times. I only deal with one or two families at a time so there are never more than 3 or 4 kids here total. If a parent objected they would NOT be bringing their child here. MY family comes first and I make it a priority to tell parents that first thing in an interview! My daycare families become like family to us and us to them!
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littlefriends 12:14 PM 02-26-2020
Originally Posted by Play Care:
For some reason when I initially read the thread title it brought to mind the provider on here who used to tell us she and her hubby would make out (and more) during nap time.

But that was NOT what you meant.
WHAT?!
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tenderhearts 12:24 PM 02-26-2020
This is my home therefore my husband and son (well he doesn't live here now) were always welcome to come out to the daycare area. They live here, they are enrolled in the background registry. I tell people during every interview that my husband works from home as well and his presence is always here. He doesn't come out and sit down and play with them but he will come out and talk to them here and there. All my parents are ok with this and he develops relationships with kids and parents just as much as I do. I don't think anyone has ever said anything.
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ardeur 09:35 PM 02-26-2020
This is my husband's home. He's not a visitor. He's also cleared to be my substitute and is present for all interviews-- mostly for my protection. The kids love him as he brings a different energy to the group than I do.
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dolores 05:31 AM 02-27-2020
I let parents know up front that they will see my husband and kids from time to time. They are all background cleared and are subs. The kids love having them around, especially my husband.
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Second Home 05:41 AM 02-27-2020
I let everyone who interviews for a spot know that my family members will be around the daycare kids . My husband and 2 adult children are my subs and may watch the kids .

I once interview someone who didn't want my husband home if their child was here and no one but me was allowed to change their diaper , not even my 2 adult daughters . They actually said that they would prefer their child stay in a dirty diaper until I was available to change them even if it meant waiting for an hour or more .
Needless to say I didn't enroll them.
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BoysMom 09:56 AM 02-27-2020
Last week I had DH act as a "guest" preschool teacher for me to make paper airplanes with my dcbs(4) as part of our transportation unit. He enjoyed it and the kids loved it.

Unfortunately, that same day he scared the bejeebers out of one of my dcgs (almost 2). She was playing on the floor when he came in the front door after taking our older sons to school and greeted her by name. They're family friends and DH works with dcg's dad, but she isn't familiar with him so she started screaming, ran to me, and curled up in my lap repeating "me scared, me scared" until he left the room. He felt so bad about it, her parents thought it was hilarious.
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Tags:2018, husbands, spouse issues, visiting relatives
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