Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCP's Family Member Badmouthing Me
craftymissbeth 07:41 AM 12-10-2013
Prepare for novel

I currently have a 12 mo dcg who has been with me for about 2 months. Within that time I have closed twice unexpectedly... once when I had to give in and admit I was too sick to open and another when all of the dck's we're sick and had called in sick except for this dcg (she was sick, but mom was out of sick days and I suspected she was dropping her off doped on fever reducer, but couldn't prove it because she was picking up early enough that it didn't have time to wear off yet).

Anyway, all was well... or so I thought. My sister had an appointment at our health department where this dcm's sister works. I don't know the sister and have never met her before. She's the receptionist at the health department and while my sister was trying to pay this girl starts going off on how I close all the time randomly for stupid reasons and she's tried to tell dcm to find someone more reliable, but she doesn't want to make waves with me. She said with as much as I charge (I'm on the VERY low end in our area) that I should be open every day of the week. She said I'm running a business and need to treat it like a business and not close for ONE child being sick.

So my sister says she was so shocked and angry she was shaking. Her two children come to me so she told the girl that not only were ALL of the dck's sick but that she feels as if that was the best decision so that I could take the day to disinfect. Other than that she just stood there with her mouth open trying not to wring her neck. The other receptionist turned to this girl and told her that it's regs not to accept sick children into care

Anyway, I confronted dcm (nicely) and told her that I needed to make sure that we're on the same page and that if she has any questions about my policies to PLEASE just ask me. I told her that while I love having her daughter here that I understand if she needs to find somewhere that works for her family. She said her sister is an opinionated big mouth and that if she has an issue she will definitely tell me. Ok so all is good... Not

I received a text from a potential parent and was really excited because it saves me the trouble of advertising. She's this dcm's SIL and I probably won't take her for that reason, but I was excited that she had heard of me through word of mouth.

I told my sister about how excited I was and who it was who texted me and she asks "oh... didn't you see the post on FB yesterday about you?" Uh, no.

I won't go on about it, but new dcp posted looking for dc... current dcm said my providers awesome take dck there... new dcm said no everyone is saying she's unreliable.... old dcm said no she's not she's awesome... my sister chimes in and straightens her out (nicely).


Ugh, super long story just to ask WHAT DO I DO??? This girl is obviously spreading it around that no one should bring their kids to me . I feel it's incredibly inappropriate that she works at the health department where oversees my license and is non-chalantly spreading rumors and lies about me to whoever will listen. I'm tempted to contact my licensor to let her know, but maybe I should just ignore it. People believe so much of what goes onto social media that I'm afraid the damage is beyond done
Reply
craftymissbeth 07:42 AM 12-10-2013
I also want to add that those two days are the ONLY days I've closed besides holidays since I opened in May
Reply
Blackcat31 07:46 AM 12-10-2013
Social media IS dangerous. Especially for big mouths like this gal!

Honestly, I would call your licensor just so she is aware of it.

I would also call the HR department at this gals work and tell her that she is giving out confidential information (anything between you and your clients is confidential) AT work and you would like her to cease and desist immediately!

I bet her HR people will NOT be happy since confidentiality is a HUGE part of the health care field.

She deserves to have her job affected by her actions...right now her actions are only affecting you and that is NOT cool!
Reply
crazydaycarelady 07:52 AM 12-10-2013
Yes, I think I would call the HR department too. She is bad-mouthing your work ethic while sitting at her job NOT WORKING but gossiping!
Reply
Play Care 07:57 AM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Social media IS dangerous. Especially for big mouths like this gal!

Honestly, I would call your licensor just so she is aware of it.

I would also call the HR department at this gals work and tell her that she is giving out confidential information (anything between you and your clients is confidential) AT work and you would like her to cease and desist immediately!

I bet her HR people will NOT be happy since confidentiality is a HUGE part of the health care field.

She deserves to have her job affected by her actions...right now her actions are only affecting you and that is NOT cool!

Reply
Great Beginnings 08:22 AM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I would also call the HR department at this gals work and tell her that she is giving out confidential information (anything between you and your clients is confidential) AT work and you would like her to cease and desist immediately!

I bet her HR people will NOT be happy since confidentiality is a HUGE part of the health care field.

She deserves to have her job affected by her actions...right now her actions are only affecting you and that is NOT cool!
This would have been my first call since the talk with mom obviously didn't work. Unbelievably rude!
Reply
melilley 08:23 AM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Social media IS dangerous. Especially for big mouths like this gal!

Honestly, I would call your licensor just so she is aware of it.

I would also call the HR department at this gals work and tell her that she is giving out confidential information (anything between you and your clients is confidential) AT work and you would like her to cease and desist immediately!

I bet her HR people will NOT be happy since confidentiality is a HUGE part of the health care field.

She deserves to have her job affected by her actions...right now her actions are only affecting you and that is NOT cool!

Reply
melilley 08:27 AM 12-10-2013
Yes, please call the sister's HR department! It's none of her business what goes on between you and your dcf's, sister or not. And to tell people on fb, that's so immature, especially since you have only closed for two days for sicknesses, at that.

Some people have nothing better to do than to gossip.
Reply
Maria2013 09:08 AM 12-10-2013
hope you put a stop to this
Reply
Blackcat31 09:15 AM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
Prepare for novel

I currently have a 12 mo dcg who has been with me for about 2 months. Within that time I have closed twice unexpectedly... once when I had to give in and admit I was too sick to open and another when all of the dck's we're sick and had called in sick except for this dcg (she was sick, but mom was out of sick days and I suspected she was dropping her off doped on fever reducer, but couldn't prove it because she was picking up early enough that it didn't have time to wear off yet).

Anyway, all was well... or so I thought. My sister had an appointment at our health department where this dcm's sister works. I don't know the sister and have never met her before. She's the receptionist at the health department and while my sister was trying to pay this girl starts going off on how I close all the time randomly for stupid reasons and she's tried to tell dcm to find someone more reliable, but she doesn't want to make waves with me. She said with as much as I charge (I'm on the VERY low end in our area) that I should be open every day of the week. She said I'm running a business and need to treat it like a business and not close for ONE child being sick.

So my sister says she was so shocked and angry she was shaking. Her two children come to me so she told the girl that not only were ALL of the dck's sick but that she feels as if that was the best decision so that I could take the day to disinfect. Other than that she just stood there with her mouth open trying not to wring her neck. The other receptionist turned to this girl and told her that it's regs not to accept sick children into care

Anyway, I confronted dcm (nicely) and told her that I needed to make sure that we're on the same page and that if she has any questions about my policies to PLEASE just ask me. I told her that while I love having her daughter here that I understand if she needs to find somewhere that works for her family. She said her sister is an opinionated big mouth and that if she has an issue she will definitely tell me. Ok so all is good... Not

I received a text from a potential parent and was really excited because it saves me the trouble of advertising. She's this dcm's SIL and I probably won't take her for that reason, but I was excited that she had heard of me through word of mouth.

I told my sister about how excited I was and who it was who texted me and she asks "oh... didn't you see the post on FB yesterday about you?" Uh, no.

I won't go on about it, but new dcp posted looking for dc... current dcm said my providers awesome take dck there... new dcm said no everyone is saying she's unreliable.... old dcm said no she's not she's awesome... my sister chimes in and straightens her out (nicely).

Ugh, super long story just to ask WHAT DO I DO??? This girl is obviously spreading it around that no one should bring their kids to me . I feel it's incredibly inappropriate that she works at the health department where oversees my license and is non-chalantly spreading rumors and lies about me to whoever will listen. I'm tempted to contact my licensor to let her know, but maybe I should just ignore it. People believe so much of what goes onto social media that I'm afraid the damage is beyond done
I would also screen shot that post on FB before it gets removed. That way you have proof of the woman's poor behavior.
Reply
TwinKristi 09:29 AM 12-10-2013
If your sister is comfortable doing so, I would have her write a letter about her experience at the health dept with this lady and send it in to her supervisor and to licensing if you choose to involve them. I would also take screen shots of the Facebook conversation for YOUR records. I had a horrible experience with a provider who was, up until recently, still in business and I have to watch what I say to who about it. She shouldn't be doing DC and the only time I ever say anything is if someone asks. I had another mom tell me she buckled a child around 2-3 into a carseat and put them in front of the TV during their interview. I believe it was her grandson, not a DC child, but still crazy to me that she did that. Anyway, my point is that even if I have a reason to talk trash about a past provider I can't!
Reply
craftymissbeth 10:03 AM 12-10-2013
Now that I'm thinking about it more who's to say she's not telling customers at the health department when they inquire about day cares in the area. Ugh... yeah I'm going to contact both my licensor and the HR lady.
Reply
itlw8 10:10 AM 12-10-2013
yep screen shot then call your license rep and ask what she suggests. I would not call HR that seems like tattleing. I would text the mom back and say I am sorry I just found out who you are related to. It would not be wise to enroll a child in my program that is related to someone spreading lies about me.... likely she did get in trouble at work and is blaming you .
Reply
TwinKristi 10:29 AM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by itlw8:
yep screen shot then call your license rep and ask what she suggests. I would not call HR that seems like tattleing. I would text the mom back and say I am sorry I just found out who you are related to. It would not be wise to enroll a child in my program that is related to someone spreading lies about me.... likely she did get in trouble at work and is blaming you .
I would most definitely tell the HR dept or her supervisor. How else will it ever end or she be held accountable for costing the OP work? This is just the tip of the iceburg if she would just blatantly say something to her sister not knowing it was her. She could have believed her and pulled her kids if it wasn't her sister. This is costing OP money in lost wages and reputation. That's HUGE in some areas.
Reply
craftymissbeth 10:34 AM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
I would most definitely tell the HR dept or her supervisor. How else will it ever end or she be held accountable for costing the OP work? This is just the tip of the iceburg if she would just blatantly say something to her sister not knowing it was her. She could have believed her and pulled her kids if it wasn't her sister. This is costing OP money in lost wages and reputation. That's HUGE in some areas.
The thing is, she KNEW it was my sister and still had the gall to go off on her little rant. The first thing out of her mouth was "I didn't realize you guys have an older sister (me) and that she's K's provider". My sister stood there for about 10 minutes before the girl finally shut up and let her pay. If she feels comfortable saying these things to my family member then I'm sure she feels comfortable with others.
Reply
TwinKristi 10:41 AM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
The thing is, she KNEW it was my sister and still had the gall to go off on her little rant. The first thing out of her mouth was "I didn't realize you guys have an older sister (me) and that she's K's provider". My sister stood there for about 10 minutes before the girl finally shut up and let her pay. If she feels comfortable saying these things to my family member then I'm sure she feels comfortable with others.
Oh I didn't realize she KNEW it was your sister... Sheesh! What nerve! I feel a letter to her supervisor/HR would be appropriate and I would also let DCM know that if her sister can't keep her mouth shut, that you'd have no choice but to term for liability reasons. That may have mom tell her sister to shut it. Some people just don't care about the repercussions of their words and maybe if mom realizes her spot is being jeopardized by her sister's actions that she will ask her to stop. Unless her sister takes everything mom says and twists it around, the only info she has is from DCM right?
Reply
craftymissbeth 10:54 AM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
Oh I didn't realize she KNEW it was your sister... Sheesh! What nerve! I feel a letter to her supervisor/HR would be appropriate and I would also let DCM know that if her sister can't keep her mouth shut, that you'd have no choice but to term for liability reasons. That may have mom tell her sister to shut it. Some people just don't care about the repercussions of their words and maybe if mom realizes her spot is being jeopardized by her sister's actions that she will ask her to stop. Unless her sister takes everything mom says and twists it around, the only info she has is from DCM right?
Yeah it has to be from dcm which initially truly pissed me off, but I left a voicemail for mom after I cooled down the day it happened and basically said "dcm it's come to my attention that you may have questions about my symptom policy especially regarding the day I closed on November 1st when all of the kids were sick. If you'd like we can discuss it in the morning or you can call me back before 8 tonight".

We talked the next morning and she was mortified... I'm not sure if it's because her sister was so rude or that I found out about her bad mouthing me. I told her straight out, but nicely that she needs to come to me if she's upset about something. I also told her that while I may not be able or willing to change my policies for every parent who has an issue I still want to know if there is one... and that she has to do what is right for her family which may mean she has to find care elsewhere.

Anyway, I'm frustrated because I obviously have no clue how much damage has been done. And I figured my first "problem" would come from a dcp and not a relative that had no clue who I am.
Reply
Lucy 11:18 AM 12-10-2013
I wouldn't hesitate for a second to call this girl's boss and report her.
Reply
mrsnj 12:09 PM 12-10-2013
But wait....so new DCM heard the put down on FB and yet still contacted you about care even after what she heard? Am I right or missing something? So isn't that good overall?
Reply
MyAngels 12:12 PM 12-10-2013
What everyone else said, plus you may want to consider a cease and desist letter to the bigmouth herself.
Reply
craftymissbeth 12:15 PM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
But wait....so new DCM heard the put down on FB and yet still contacted you about care even after what she heard? Am I right or missing something? So isn't that good overall?
Yes, so that did end up being good... but what if there are other people who now have it in their minds that I'm unreliable and ignore my ads in the future? I was fortunate this time that current dcm and sister saw it and stood up for me, but that won't always be the case.

I think as far as the damage already done I just have to suck it up and keep proving that what she's saying is untrue. I just want her to stop spreading lies in the future.
Reply
Unregistered 10:26 AM 12-11-2013
Screen shot, then PM the woman and tell her you're going to sue her for lost business under libel and slander. She could have cost you business already....I'd sit and average out calls per week and that of every 10 calls you could have 1 client and tell her you're suing for 1 client (per week per spaces allowed) and other damages. Also have FB flag all her abusive posts and report her to them and any forums/CL or wherever else she's badmouthing you.
Reply
craftymissbeth 09:14 AM 12-12-2013
TMI alert:

See, this is what happens when you make your provider feel terrible for taking off when they're sick... they do stupid things like working with a stomach virus which then gets the kids sick.

I've been sick non-stop since Tuesday night. I wanted to close so badly... as I was vomiting continuously throughout the day while the kids were here. Now I'm belching the most god awful sulfury egg burps I've ever experienced in my life on top of the vomiting and now diarrhea.

Oh and guess what... this current dcm's child just had her first watery diarrhea of the day. One more and she goes home.
Reply
Blackcat31 09:17 AM 12-12-2013
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
TMI alert:

See, this is what happens when you make your provider feel terrible for taking off when they're sick... they do stupid things like working with a stomach virus which then gets the kids sick.

I've been sick non-stop since Monday night. I wanted to close so badly... as I was vomiting continuously throughout the day while the kids were here. Now I'm belching the most god awful sulfury egg burps I've ever experienced in my life on top of the vomiting and now diarrhea.

Oh and guess what... this current dcm's child just had her first watery diarrhea of the day. One more and she goes home.
Oh, I am sorry you are now sick!! Hope you feel better fast!

As for the diarrhea...I don't wait for more than one if the poop consistency is really off from what is considered normal for that child.

If it is rancid, sour or super watery the first time.....I send home. Especially when there is already illnesses going around. Better safe than sorry IMHO.
Reply
Leigh 09:51 AM 12-12-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Oh, I am sorry you are now sick!! Hope you feel better fast!

As for the diarrhea...I don't wait for more than one if the poop consistency is really off from what is considered normal for that child.

If it is rancid, sour or super watery the first time.....I send home. Especially when there is already illnesses going around. Better safe than sorry IMHO.
I sent one home after the first poop the other day (1/2 hour after drop off). Luckily, the only other one who caught it was my husband (who is constantly holding this little one). I felt kind of bad sending home right away, but I KNEW this was illness, not just a bad poop. I am so glad I did. All of the other kids in the sick kids' family got it, too.
Reply
craftymissbeth 01:29 PM 12-12-2013
So I ended up letting her stay and just kept a really close eye on her. When dcm picked her up she just kept saying how it was from the steamed veggies she had for dinner last night. I told her several times about the bug dis and I have but then just said "who knows why she had diarrhea, but if it happens again tonight she'll need to stay home tomorrow."

It's in my symptom policy that it has to happen 2 times or more unfortunately and my policy is already super strict so I just kept an eye on her.

Thank you, everyone!
Reply
Tags:facebook, lying, slander
Reply Up