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Old 04-28-2013, 08:40 PM
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Default 2 1/2 Year Old Kick Out Of Daycare

I am new to this forum so I apologize if this question has already been addressed. I did look but nothing was the exact type of situation as what I am going through.

My son is almost 3, he will turn 3 in July. He has been attending daycare at our local YMCA and I have been very happy with the care that has been provided. We did have a few issues with a young teacher but the problem was resolved. My son is in the 2-3 year old room and he was behind with his speech. His dad and I were very concerned and we had him evaluated by our local county early intervention agency. They denied services stating he was not delayed by much and it was most likely due to his chronic ear infections. However, since he was unable to communicate especially in daycare he was becoming very frustrated. His dad and I paid for speech therapy weekly for 4 months and he has made a drastic improvement. We still feel he is a little behind but his daycare teacher said he is fine.

Now other than the speech we did not know daycare was having any issues with our son until last week. I took him to daycare and his teacher said when free play is over and its time for lunch he gets very upset and screams. I explained his dad was out of town for 2 weeks helping with his mom who is dying of cancer. She really didn't make a big deal out of it, I said I would try to talk to him but he is still young and doesn't totally understand. The next day I received a call from the director telling me I needed to come and pick him up because he was not behaving, this totally took my by surprise. I rush over there and pick him up and the director pulls me into her office before I got to his room and said he has been very difficult and throwing temper tantrums when things don't go his way. She then told me he could not return to the program unless we got him a TSS or a one on one to help him with his behavioral issues. I was in complete shock and was speechless.

Now my fiancÚ my son's dad is in Atlanta while we are in Philadelphia, I am out of work on short term disability after just being diagnosed with Narcolepsy and needed time to deal with the awful medication I need to take at night. So this was just one more thing to add to our plate. I said if I was working right now I would lose my job over this and her reply was thats not our problem. I asked why wasn't this bought to our attention before now why wasn't there any warnings or incident reports sent home. She said she didn't know.

Now in order to get these services is a timely process, and I really don't have any other daycare options because the YMCA is the only childcare center in our area that offers a sliding scale based on what we make. My fiancÚ had some serious health issues in the past few years and is on SSDI, which is also the reason why he can't be home all day with our son or we wouldn't need daycare at all. It is for medical reasons it’s not that he doesn't want to in any way. He will if we have not daycare when I return to work, since we have no other options. So I can't just find another daycare center and our son is happy there despite the fact I was told that teachers were going to quit if something wasn't done about our son. I am not sure that was really professional to tell a parent the teachers dislike our son and are ready to quit, but if it was it still broke my heart. I asked the director well this is going to take some time will his spot still be available and she said said she would hold as long as she could.

I guess I need to know if this is legal? Which I am sure it is, but do I have any rights at all? Can't they at least be forced to hold his spot? We already took him to his first appointment for an intake evaluation and the specialist said he would qualify for services. She said he is too young for a diagnosis so they just give a general one and I apologize I forget what it is. He still needs an in home evaluation and one in the daycare setting. They have agreed to let him return for the day so he could be evaluated. So they are working with us and I am grateful for that. I am more just in shock that they can kick a child out without any warnings or letters at all. If I had not been on short term disability I would of lost my job which would of been devastating for our family since my fiancÚ is on SSDI and I carry the health care insurance. If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions I would really appreciate it. I apologize for the long post, there is probably more information that what you need or care to know, lol. thanks for reading.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 04-29-2013 at 08:08 AM. Reason: added spacing
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:40 PM
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i am not a provider so i am not sure on the rules as far as a center goes.. but my son is about the same age as yours and i believe daycare providers can terminate care at anytime-as far as the notice they have to give, i'm not sure but you should definitely look into any contract or forms you filled out prior to him attending that center. all rules/regulations should be listed on there for that specific provider as well as a termination policy.

sorry about what you and your family are going thru and i hope this gets straightened out right away for you guys just to have one less thing on your plate!
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:56 PM
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Wow that's a lot going on for you and your family so sorry to hear this.

Just as the pp said read your contract and see what it says.

I'm not a center, I'm a home, but it says that I can term at will for any reason.
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Old 04-29-2013, 04:31 AM
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It seems very unprofessional not to have let you know that there were problems going on.

Check your contract. My only other thought is to possibly contact the YMCA headquarters (if there is one). I'm not too familiar with the YMCA. I just remember that we had car repair problems from a Ford Dealer years ago and we contacted the Ford Motor Company and they intervened and had the car dealer cut our repair bill in half and apologize. It is worth a try anyway.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Have you checked out home providers? With smaller numbers and a different setting he might have more success. Where I live we have an non profit agency that will have someone come to my house (I am a home provider) and observe a child and give recommendations. It sounds like that is what you are doing now though.

Good luck.

Laurel
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Old 04-29-2013, 05:05 AM
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Besides tantruming during transitions what is it he is exactly doing? Is he hitting, biteing, fighting, hitting adults, kicking, pinching etc?
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Old 04-29-2013, 09:37 AM
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It depends on what the agreement says that you signed atthe start of care. Either way, out of decency they should of been sharing there concerns with you all along if there were issues.Ofcourse if dad is out of town for that long he is going ot be more emotional than if he was in his right routine. I hope you can get the help he needs and hopefully he will settle in a bit. The director there should of been in the know about the situation if he was causing that much of a disturbance thats a load of _______ for her to just say that she didnt know. Im sorry your having to go through this with everything else on your plate.
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Old 04-29-2013, 12:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Besides tantruming during transitions what is it he is exactly doing? Is he hitting, biteing, fighting, hitting adults, kicking, pinching etc?
Nothing, they said he just won't listen. He will run around the classroom and scream and cry but he can not tell anyone why he is so upset.
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Old 04-29-2013, 12:27 PM
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momagain momagain is offline
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Originally Posted by renodeb View Post
It depends on what the agreement says that you signed atthe start of care. Either way, out of decency they should of been sharing there concerns with you all along if there were issues.Ofcourse if dad is out of town for that long he is going ot be more emotional than if he was in his right routine. I hope you can get the help he needs and hopefully he will settle in a bit. The director there should of been in the know about the situation if he was causing that much of a disturbance thats a load of _______ for her to just say that she didnt know. Im sorry your having to go through this with everything else on your plate.
I totally agree about the director saying she didn't know. I do think with dad out of town for 2 weeks it was very emotionally for our son. I am usually working, dad works just some odd jobs here and there, so he is the one to take him to daycare and pick him up. We are in the process of getting him the help he needs I am just praying we can get him back into daycare before my short term disability is over. Thanks for your reply
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Old 04-29-2013, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by daycare View Post
Wow that's a lot going on for you and your family so sorry to hear this.

Just as the pp said read your contract and see what it says.

I'm not a center, I'm a home, but it says that I can term at will for any reason.
Thanks for reply. I am looking for the contract now.
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Old 04-29-2013, 12:30 PM
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Thank you so much for everyone responses. I am looking at our contract and I have emailed the main office for the YMCA. I appreciate everyone's kind words. I would say it can only get better but I don't want to jinx it cause I am sure it can get worse. As it did my dad was rushed to the hospital for a stroke. When is it going to end???
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Old 04-29-2013, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurel View Post
It seems very unprofessional not to have let you know that there were problems going on.

Check your contract. My only other thought is to possibly contact the YMCA headquarters (if there is one). I'm not too familiar with the YMCA. I just remember that we had car repair problems from a Ford Dealer years ago and we contacted the Ford Motor Company and they intervened and had the car dealer cut our repair bill in half and apologize. It is worth a try anyway.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Have you checked out home providers? With smaller numbers and a different setting he might have more success. Where I live we have an non profit agency that will have someone come to my house (I am a home provider) and observe a child and give recommendations. It sounds like that is what you are doing now though.

Good luck.

Laurel
Hi Laurel,
Thank you for your response. I took your advice and I did contact the main office for the YMCA, their entire philosophy is based on helping families not making them worse. We do have a local nonprofit agency that we are working with to have him evaluated. From the intake she said he would qualify for services, but it may take some time because of his age they need to evaluate him in his normal surroundings, which I understand. Since I have been home with him I see how difficult he can be at times, but I thought this was why they call it the terrible two's. LOL. Having a one on one with him at daycare won't hurt it will only help him with his social skills for kindergarten. It's just the timing of everything has been so awful. The only way me and dad are going to keep our sanity is to try and turn it into something positive and not focus on the negative side of this. thanks again for your reply.
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Old 04-29-2013, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted by momagain View Post
Nothing, they said he just won't listen. He will run around the classroom and scream and cry but he can not tell anyone why he is so upset.
Have you had his hearing checked? Probably so since he was getting help with his speech but in kindergarten my son was 'not listening' because he had a problem hearing.

Also, my grandson is just four months younger than your child. My grandson, quite often, screams and cries because he can't tell us what is wrong but he is only two. That is what two year olds do sometimes. I think if I were you I'd ask them if they have documented his behavior and, if so, could you have a copy of it.

Laurel
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Old 04-29-2013, 12:53 PM
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Originally Posted by momagain View Post
Hi Laurel,
Thank you for your response. I took your advice and I did contact the main office for the YMCA, their entire philosophy is based on helping families not making them worse. We do have a local nonprofit agency that we are working with to have him evaluated. From the intake she said he would qualify for services, but it may take some time because of his age they need to evaluate him in his normal surroundings, which I understand. Since I have been home with him I see how difficult he can be at times, but I thought this was why they call it the terrible two's. LOL. Having a one on one with him at daycare won't hurt it will only help him with his social skills for kindergarten. It's just the timing of everything has been so awful. The only way me and dad are going to keep our sanity is to try and turn it into something positive and not focus on the negative side of this. thanks again for your reply.
Whoops, I guess we were typing at the same time. You're welcome!

Laurel
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