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KidGrind 10:12 AM 06-18-2014
Small vent: I am certified in Baby Signs. I teach all the infants Baby Signs. Today for the second time, a parent tells me I could be a big help if I assisted her child with baby signs. They are focusing on a particular sign at home.
1. She instructs me to teach him (incorrectly) the sign.
2. I’ve already been teaching him. Told her so the first time this came up. I mentioned it in the interview too.
I show her the correct way to baby sign. So in her need to assert control. She again shows me the way she wants me to sign it with looks like the sign for applause. And she then requests my wagon be switched to the other side of doorway.
:roll eyes:
I get it is her child. Great baby by the way, I love him. It is my business. I have my way of doing things (the way I was trained by a Baby Signs’ instructor, video and book). I refuse to instruct any child incorrectly. I also don’t want to debate with her.
1. She instructs me to teach him (incorrectly) the sign.
2. I’ve already been teaching him. Told her so the first time this came up. I mentioned it in the interview too.
I show her the correct way to baby sign. So in her need to assert control. She again shows me the way she wants me to sign it with looks like the sign for applause. And she then requests my wagon be switched to the other side of doorway.
:roll eyes:
I get it is her child. Great baby by the way, I love him. It is my business. I have my way of doing things (the way I was trained by a Baby Signs’ instructor, video and book). I refuse to instruct any child incorrectly. I also don’t want to debate with her.
MissAnn 10:55 AM 06-18-2014
Ugh. That's all I have to say. I would be irritated.
preschoolteacher 11:02 AM 06-18-2014
Personally, I wouldn't care if she wanted to teach her own version of the sign. "correct" and "incorrect" doesn't mean much to me in terms of baby sign because the point is to help baby communicate, not sign with correct "grammar." If the baby was learning ASL because he /she or family members were hard of hearing or deaf, I'd feel differently.
I can see why mom wants consistency between what she's been doing at home and what goes on at daycare.
For me, it would be the same as respecting that one family says "go pee" and another family says "go tinkle" and trying to use those same phrases to provide consistency to a child while potty training.
I can see why mom wants consistency between what she's been doing at home and what goes on at daycare.
For me, it would be the same as respecting that one family says "go pee" and another family says "go tinkle" and trying to use those same phrases to provide consistency to a child while potty training.
SilverSabre25 11:24 AM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher:
Personally, I wouldn't care if she wanted to teach her own version of the sign. "correct" and "incorrect" doesn't mean much to me in terms of baby sign because the point is to help baby communicate, not sign with correct "grammar." If the baby was learning ASL because he /she or family members were hard of hearing or deaf, I'd feel differently.
I can see why mom wants consistency between what she's been doing at home and what goes on at daycare.
For me, it would be the same as respecting that one family says "go pee" and another family says "go tinkle" and trying to use those same phrases to provide consistency to a child while potty training.
See....I use certain terms in my house and do NOT cater to individual families terms. i refuse to use cutesy terms for ANYTHING and I fall in the middle of the road on the "clinical terms" issue--"pass urine" sounds just as stupid to me as "weewee" or "tinkle" does.Personally, I wouldn't care if she wanted to teach her own version of the sign. "correct" and "incorrect" doesn't mean much to me in terms of baby sign because the point is to help baby communicate, not sign with correct "grammar." If the baby was learning ASL because he /she or family members were hard of hearing or deaf, I'd feel differently.
I can see why mom wants consistency between what she's been doing at home and what goes on at daycare.
For me, it would be the same as respecting that one family says "go pee" and another family says "go tinkle" and trying to use those same phrases to provide consistency to a child while potty training.
So it's the same for me with the signs. If mom wants to do it her way at home that's fine but I do it MY way at MY house.
TwinKristi 11:30 AM 06-18-2014
Yeah that's pretty much like a parent asking you to say goggy instead of doggy since that's what someone at home says. I'm not going to purposely teach a child the wrong way to say/do something to please parents.
I must ask, what word is it that she's trying to teach incorrectly? I have an app on my iPhone that plays a video of the proper way to do it but if a baby does anything similar it's ok. Like for water it's the first 3 fingers in a W and touching their mouth with the pointer finger but as long as they get remotely close, like one finger or the 3 close fingers, it's good enough.
I must ask, what word is it that she's trying to teach incorrectly? I have an app on my iPhone that plays a video of the proper way to do it but if a baby does anything similar it's ok. Like for water it's the first 3 fingers in a W and touching their mouth with the pointer finger but as long as they get remotely close, like one finger or the 3 close fingers, it's good enough.
KidGrind 11:36 AM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher:
Personally, I wouldn't care if she wanted to teach her own version of the sign. "correct" and "incorrect" doesn't mean much to me in terms of baby sign because the point is to help baby communicate, not sign with correct "grammar." If the baby was learning ASL because he /she or family members were hard of hearing or deaf, I'd feel differently.
I can see why mom wants consistency between what she's been doing at home and what goes on at daycare.
For me, it would be the same as respecting that one family says "go pee" and another family says "go tinkle" and trying to use those same phrases to provide consistency to a child while potty training.
Personally, I wouldn't care if she wanted to teach her own version of the sign. "correct" and "incorrect" doesn't mean much to me in terms of baby sign because the point is to help baby communicate, not sign with correct "grammar." If the baby was learning ASL because he /she or family members were hard of hearing or deaf, I'd feel differently.
I can see why mom wants consistency between what she's been doing at home and what goes on at daycare.
For me, it would be the same as respecting that one family says "go pee" and another family says "go tinkle" and trying to use those same phrases to provide consistency to a child while potty training.
I respect your stance & opinion on the issue.
I am not willing as a certified Baby Signs Provider to teach any baby incorrectly. I understand each child has their variation of the sign.
If the DCM’s goal was actually consistency for the child she would respect how I do it. I am with her child most of his waking hours. I also have another infant in care who uses baby signs to communicate. I am not a nanny. I am a provider who runs a program.
What she’s started a month ago, has been going on in my home since last year. As a provider I’ve been using Baby Signs for 3 years.
MissAnn 11:46 AM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
I respect your stand & opinion on the issue.
I am not willing as a certified Baby Signs Provider to teach any baby incorrectly. I understand each child has their variation of the sign.
If the DCM’s goal was actually consistency for the child she would respect how I do it. I am with her child most of his waking hours. I also have another infant in care who uses baby signs to communicate. I am not a nanny. I am a provider who runs a program.
What she’s started a month ago, has been going on in my home since last year. As a provider I’ve been using Baby Signs for 3 years.
I understand why it's a big deal on your part. You are the professional when it comes to baby signs. Not sure why it's such a big deal for her part. I respect your stand & opinion on the issue.
I am not willing as a certified Baby Signs Provider to teach any baby incorrectly. I understand each child has their variation of the sign.
If the DCM’s goal was actually consistency for the child she would respect how I do it. I am with her child most of his waking hours. I also have another infant in care who uses baby signs to communicate. I am not a nanny. I am a provider who runs a program.
What she’s started a month ago, has been going on in my home since last year. As a provider I’ve been using Baby Signs for 3 years.
If you sign incorrectly as mom wants, the other kids will pick up incorrect habits. Might as well teach 2+2=5.
KidGrind 11:51 AM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
I understand why it's a big deal on your part. You are the professional when it comes to baby signs. Not sure why it's such a big deal for her part.
If you sign incorrectly as mom wants, the other kids will pick up incorrect habits. Might as well teach 2+2=5.
CONTROL. It always creeps up with her. If I don’t catch it immediately, seconds later she goes passive aggressive. I have a like/on my last nerve relationship with her.I understand why it's a big deal on your part. You are the professional when it comes to baby signs. Not sure why it's such a big deal for her part.
If you sign incorrectly as mom wants, the other kids will pick up incorrect habits. Might as well teach 2+2=5.
I also would like to correct I have 2 others using Baby Signs. The sign in question is done the same way for both of them. The other child comes on the days my full-timer doesn’t.
Leigh 01:10 PM 06-18-2014
I think you need to firmly tell Mom that you can not accommodate her request, as it would be unfair to the other children who are learning the correct signs (and would certainly pick up on the wrong sign, as well). Let her know that the other parents also want their child to sign, and that since there are multiple children learning, you simply MUST teach the correct way.
SilverSabre25 01:12 PM 06-18-2014
another option would be the ol' "smile and nod" approach. "Sure dcm, I'll see what I can do." and then just do it your way anyway...
KidGrind 02:04 PM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
another option would be the ol' "smile and nod" approach. "Sure dcm, I'll see what I can do." and then just do it your way anyway...
I need to work on the smile and nod. I have a blank stare & then smirk reflex.another option would be the ol' "smile and nod" approach. "Sure dcm, I'll see what I can do." and then just do it your way anyway...
Leigh you are right. I just don’t feel like arguing/debating/reasoning with her. I have a strong impression (thanks to our last several episodes) she has a need to be right.
Little Buttons 04:40 PM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
I am not willing as a certified Baby Signs Provider to teach any baby incorrectly.
I think this is what you need to tell DCM. If she is all about control and you know you just need to nip it in the bud and fast...tell her that, ignore the passive aggressive behavior and move on I am not willing as a certified Baby Signs Provider to teach any baby incorrectly.
KidGrind 04:19 AM 06-19-2014
DING DONG
I open my door with a big, “Good morning!”
DCM flustered and red, “I had to move the wagon it’s in my way.”
My reply, “You can always knock the door.” As I said it I was smile thinking of all you ladies and gents.
Thank you for reading, sharing and just being here! You all make my days brighter and I learn a lot from many of you.
I open my door with a big, “Good morning!”
DCM flustered and red, “I had to move the wagon it’s in my way.”
My reply, “You can always knock the door.” As I said it I was smile thinking of all you ladies and gents.
Thank you for reading, sharing and just being here! You all make my days brighter and I learn a lot from many of you.
craftymissbeth 05:23 AM 06-19-2014
What's up with the wagon? I don't understand what her issue with this wagon is. Is it sitting next to your front door or something? In front of the door bell? So she moved your wagon so she could ring the door bell? 
I'd just move it right back. And next time she moves it I'd move it back right in front of her. I'm assuming it's not a hazard in any way... no one can trip on it or anything.
I'd just move it right back. And next time she moves it I'd move it back right in front of her. I'm assuming it's not a hazard in any way... no one can trip on it or anything.
KidGrind 06:49 AM 06-19-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
What's up with the wagon? I don't understand what her issue with this wagon is. Is it sitting next to your front door or something? In front of the door bell? So she moved your wagon so she could ring the door bell?
I'd just move it right back. And next time she moves it I'd move it back right in front of her. I'm assuming it's not a hazard in any way... no one can trip on it or anything.
I was inspected yesterday. It is not an issue or hazard.What's up with the wagon? I don't understand what her issue with this wagon is. Is it sitting next to your front door or something? In front of the door bell? So she moved your wagon so she could ring the door bell?
I'd just move it right back. And next time she moves it I'd move it back right in front of her. I'm assuming it's not a hazard in any way... no one can trip on it or anything.
craftymissbeth 08:20 AM 06-19-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
I was inspected yesterday. It is not an issue or hazard.
Yeah I can't imagine that you'd just have a hazard in front of your door. What I meant by my question is why is she so bothered by it?I was inspected yesterday. It is not an issue or hazard.
SilverSabre25 08:35 AM 06-19-2014
The wagon thing is really dumb. What a dork.
MarinaVanessa 09:08 AM 06-19-2014
With the wagon issue ... if it comes up again ...
"So (deep breath in, quick breath out), Susan. (1 second pause) I'm not really understanding what the issue with the wagon is. None of my other families are having a problem with it and I don't know what the issue for you is. So what exactly is the problem you are having with it?"
DCM: It's in my way, I can't get to the doorbell.
"Oh, that's so funny! (smile on your face) You know, I park it there because that's more convenient for me when I have to get in and out. Don't bother moving it, just knock on the door. Otherwise I have to move it back and it makes things harder for me. So I forgot to tell you about the super cute that Billy did yesterday ..."
If DCM moved the wagon again I would put cardboard and tape over the doorbell for the next week or so. If I had to I would put a "Please Don't Move the Wagon! Thanks!" sign on it. If this really is a control thing anyway
.
"So (deep breath in, quick breath out), Susan. (1 second pause) I'm not really understanding what the issue with the wagon is. None of my other families are having a problem with it and I don't know what the issue for you is. So what exactly is the problem you are having with it?"
DCM: It's in my way, I can't get to the doorbell.
"Oh, that's so funny! (smile on your face) You know, I park it there because that's more convenient for me when I have to get in and out. Don't bother moving it, just knock on the door. Otherwise I have to move it back and it makes things harder for me. So I forgot to tell you about the super cute that Billy did yesterday ..."
If DCM moved the wagon again I would put cardboard and tape over the doorbell for the next week or so. If I had to I would put a "Please Don't Move the Wagon! Thanks!" sign on it. If this really is a control thing anyway
.
Meeko 11:14 AM 06-19-2014
Good grief, how old is this DCM?! Three?!
preschoolteacher 11:23 AM 06-19-2014
Can you explain about this weird wagon thing? I don't get her issue!
AmyKidsCo 01:18 PM 06-19-2014
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher:
Personally, I wouldn't care if she wanted to teach her own version of the sign. "correct" and "incorrect" doesn't mean much to me in terms of baby sign because the point is to help baby communicate, not sign with correct "grammar." If the baby was learning ASL because he /she or family members were hard of hearing or deaf, I'd feel differently.
I can see why mom wants consistency between what she's been doing at home and what goes on at daycare.
For me, it would be the same as respecting that one family says "go pee" and another family says "go tinkle" and trying to use those same phrases to provide consistency to a child while potty training.
ITA, that for me it would also be a matter of respecting a family's preference. I used to teach Baby Signs but switched to ASL years ago because I think it's more useful beyond infancy than Baby Signs is. That's just MY preference - I would never say that anyone else had to do the same. Personally, I wouldn't care if she wanted to teach her own version of the sign. "correct" and "incorrect" doesn't mean much to me in terms of baby sign because the point is to help baby communicate, not sign with correct "grammar." If the baby was learning ASL because he /she or family members were hard of hearing or deaf, I'd feel differently.
I can see why mom wants consistency between what she's been doing at home and what goes on at daycare.
For me, it would be the same as respecting that one family says "go pee" and another family says "go tinkle" and trying to use those same phrases to provide consistency to a child while potty training.
KidGrind 07:27 PM 06-19-2014
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
ITA, that for me it would also be a matter of respecting a family's preference. I used to teach Baby Signs but switched to ASL years ago because I think it's more useful beyond infancy than Baby Signs is. That's just MY preference - I would never say that anyone else had to do the same.
One of my DCPs knows ASL and agrees with the sign in question (I use) is correct for ASL and Baby Signs. I am not fluent in ASL. However, I was in a ASL club for several years. Of course now, I’ve lost most of it due to not using it.ITA, that for me it would also be a matter of respecting a family's preference. I used to teach Baby Signs but switched to ASL years ago because I think it's more useful beyond infancy than Baby Signs is. That's just MY preference - I would never say that anyone else had to do the same.
I’d like to add the issue for me is not ASL vs. Baby Signs. My goal is to communicate effectively with the infants in my care who are not yet verbal.
The wagon isn’t the issue. I’ve not catered to her specific nanny request. So now there is an issue with the wagon. If the wagon were not there it would be something else as it has been in the past. By the way,Thanks to all who chimed in and shared their opinions and advice.
Oh yeah I was inspected again today. Yeah me!