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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Update on the Sister/Nephew Saga
NightOwl 04:38 PM 06-06-2014
We had a huge blow out on Wednesday. My sub was here and could not handle him. I text my sister to come pick him up (she was already an hour later than she told him she would be, told him she'd pick him up after nap to go play outside).

She accused me of only complaining about my nephew's behaviors because she "didn't do everything I wanted her to do", because she's late on payments, and I treat the other parents better than her because they do follow the rules, pick their children up on time, and pay on time.

Ummmmmm, isn't that following the rules of the business you are patronizing? Instead of thinking you can get away with constantly bending the rules because we're related? I told her she should expect hard feelings when she's taking advantage of our sisterhood, and no, there's no hard feelings with my other parents because they respect my rules, my hours, my personal time, where she does not.

She hasn't brought my nephew since. I'm so sick of her bs attitude and always accusing me of not doing enough, when I do WAY more to work with him than she ever has. She does what's easiest for her, not what's best for him.

He's almost 5 and still gets a sippy cup, he was almost 4 before he potty trained (which I did myself in a week's time). She's lazy. He's not delayed in anyway, she's just delayed in giving a damn. Grrrrrrr!

She blames his behavior on adhd (undiagnosed of course, because she can't be bothered with Dr appointments) and yet she still gives him all kinds of processed foods, high fructose corn syrup and tons of preservatives in the strawberry milk she puts in his SIPPY CUP right before he comes in the mornings, so of course, he's extra wired up. Eliminating processed foods would be too inconvenient for her, so I'm sure he'll end up on medication, which she'll routinely forget to give him.

Oh, and she's 27. Plenty old enough to know how to take care of a child and recognize his needs. Instead, she makes excuses and ignores it, hoping it will just resolve itself. God forbid she would have to, I don't know, make an effort.

Ok. Rant over. Thank you if you made it to the end!
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NightOwl 04:45 PM 06-06-2014
Rant not over. She also still lives at home where my mom pays all her bills, including her cell phone and car payment and my mom pays her way when they go on vacations. She has a college degree but is working as a waitress, not because she can't find a job in her field, but because that would require effort. L.A.Z.Y. In their home, It's just the three of them, so my nephew has two women answering to his every whim and babying him. Of course his behavior is going to be terrible when put into group care with rules, because there are no rules at home.
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SilverSabre25 04:56 PM 06-06-2014
wednesday, good for you. i know where family is concerned it can be harder sometimes to stick to your guns but that's awesome. I know from my own life that it's probably too much to hope for that your attempt to hold her accountable will make a difference....but one can vaguely hope right?
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NightOwl 06:09 PM 06-06-2014
^^^^ must be a troll up there. Why can't everyone be required to register in order to post? It would just cut down on a lot of the idiocy.

Thanks for your empathy. Holding her accountable is totally blasphemous according to her. She still acts like an unruly teenager. This isn't me being jealous, in case the thought crosses anyone's mind. I have NO desire to be dependant on my mom, a total slacker, or a leech. It pisses me off because, if she's slacking sooooo much, who's picking up that slack? Me and my mom. And if we don't? My nephew suffers for it. It's a terrible rock /hard place situation.
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craftymissbeth 07:17 PM 06-06-2014
Wednesday, you are an absolutely wonderful provider and you have helped so many of us here!
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CraftyMom 07:27 PM 06-06-2014
Wednesday we know the real story.

This person needs to find something else to do!
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Patches 08:29 PM 06-06-2014
Wednesday, I pm'ed you
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tehck_1013 08:41 PM 06-06-2014
Hey Wednesday, does your sister have a contract with you or was it just verbal? I have a feeling when my sisters have kids they will ask me to care for their kids and I will have issues like yours. It sounds lke a really difficult situation because you may feel like at this point, if you do not keep caring for your nephew then he may not change his ways at all. If you aren't worried about that then perhaps its time for a wake up call on her part. Tell her you will cease care for him. Whether mom takes care of him after that or not, sister will still end up being inconvenienced and might get a clue. She will in turn rely more on mom tho and I'm sure you've been trying to avoid that... *sigh* family ties that bind... and GAG!
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Former Teacher 09:44 PM 06-06-2014
To All Posters:

I have removed the offending posts. Unfortunately I don't know how to block by IP but I gave the info to Blackcat. She might have special powers than me.

Wednesday: I am SO sorry. Do not let some kid who is on summer break (and who has nothing else better to do) to upset you. I realize that it is easier said than done. However don't let them win. Be the bigger and stronger person. We You.

If there is anything else I can do, please let me know
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Mom2TLE 09:46 PM 06-06-2014
It looks like trolls that have nothing better to do on a Friday night, ignore it. Maybe private message Michael or Blackcat, maybe the are be able to remove the unnecessary comments as well as block the IP.
Sadly your sister sounds like the kind of person who believes that she is owed everything in life and as long as you agree and comply you are in her corner. Now that you have shown her that this is not the case she is going to find someone who will comply or try and guilt you back into doing it. I personally would let her go. Maybe the next provider will open her eyes to the fact that the earth does not revolve around her. Sorry you have to deal with this, I have a SIL that was the same way.
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NightOwl 09:58 PM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by tehck_1013:
Hey Wednesday, does your sister have a contract with you or was it just verbal? I have a feeling when my sisters have kids they will ask me to care for their kids and I will have issues like yours. It sounds lke a really difficult situation because you may feel like at this point, if you do not keep caring for your nephew then he may not change his ways at all. If you aren't worried about that then perhaps its time for a wake up call on her part. Tell her you will cease care for him. Whether mom takes care of him after that or not, sister will still end up being inconvenienced and might get a clue. She will in turn rely more on mom tho and I'm sure you've been trying to avoid that... *sigh* family ties that bind... and GAG!
No, I am more concerned that, if I term them, she will again do whatever is easiest for her, which would be to pawn him off on whomever would take him for a few hours here and there. Or more likely several different people. And trust me when I say all of her "friends" are shady.
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Meeko 10:09 PM 06-06-2014
I didn't see any bad comments, so they must be removed already.

I don't know what they were saying, but don't let it get to you. You are so much better than they are. Your sister is actually lucky to have you as an example of real responsibility. She may not see it now....but hopefully she will one day.
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KidGrind 05:34 AM 06-07-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
^^^^ must be a troll up there. Why can't everyone be required to register in order to post? It would just cut down on a lot of the idiocy.

Thanks for your empathy. Holding her accountable is totally blasphemous according to her. She still acts like an unruly teenager. This isn't me being jealous, in case the thought crosses anyone's mind. I have NO desire to be dependant on my mom, a total slacker, or a leech. It pisses me off because, if she's slacking sooooo much, who's picking up that slack? Me and my mom. And if we don't? My nephew suffers for it. It's a terrible rock /hard place situation.
Wednesday I hope you don’t take this negatively. One of my pet peeves is when an enabler complains.

Stop being part of it. It is really that simple. And if you can’t then just deal with it because you’ve allowed yourself to participate in her foolishness.

I write this from the stand point of dealing with a couple relatives who leech, use and depend on others to facilitate their lifestyles. I refuse to be a part of it. It’s my life and I have a responsibility in the quality of it. Yes, I have gone months without talking to others in the family over it. They thought I was being selfish & mean for not helping. I have no issue with helping. I have an issue with knowingly helping users, slackers & deadbeats. Blood doesn’t make it alright to use you or abuse your business. Blood doesn’t mean you should be a doormat. Blood doesn’t mean other children in your care should be subjective you your nephew’s poor behavior. I GET HE IS PROBABLY A GREAT LITTLE GUY who needs his mother to get it together. I also understand you love him.

Create clear boundaries for her as you would a non related client. Failure to do so is a disservice to your sister, yourself and more importantly your nephew.
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Former Teacher 07:00 AM 06-07-2014
Per Moderator:

I am closing this thread until Michael or BlackCat come online.
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Michael 10:07 AM 06-07-2014
It's open again. Thanks to those who let me know via PM and text message. I will stay on it. I can find a lot more about this person since I own the system and have access to trace IP if need be.
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NightOwl 10:22 AM 06-07-2014
Michael, can you tell me if the person's ip is from my area in alabama? I kinda need to know if this is personal. Thank you SO MUCH!
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NightOwl 10:43 AM 06-07-2014
Ummmmmm? Michael?
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Former Teacher 10:43 AM 06-07-2014
Originally Posted by Michael:
It's open again. Thanks to those who let me know via PM and text message. I will stay on it. I can find a lot more about this person since I own the system and have access to trace IP if need be.
Thank you Michael. They seem to be at work again.
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NightOwl 10:46 AM 06-07-2014
Just to be clear, my name is Trixie Coley. I have nothing to hide, including my name.
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Former Teacher 10:46 AM 06-07-2014
Wednesday-

I will be sending you a PM
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Unregistered 10:54 AM 06-07-2014
Oh. Wrong person. SORRY.
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NightOwl 10:55 AM 06-07-2014
You however, should reconsider your words since you can be tracked down. How's the weather over there in Wichita, btw?
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Blackcat31 11:57 AM 06-07-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Ummmmmm? Michael?
I will be home shortly and will Pm you...
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craftymissbeth 12:19 PM 06-07-2014
In Wichita? Woah, that's a little too close to home.
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NightOwl 12:23 PM 06-07-2014
I think we scared them off with that.
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NightOwl 02:29 PM 06-07-2014
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
Wednesday I hope you don’t take this negatively. One of my pet peeves is when an enabler complains.

Stop being part of it. It is really that simple. And if you can’t then just deal with it because you’ve allowed yourself to participate in her foolishness.

I write this from the stand point of dealing with a couple relatives who leech, use and depend on others to facilitate their lifestyles. I refuse to be a part of it. It’s my life and I have a responsibility in the quality of it. Yes, I have gone months without talking to others in the family over it. They thought I was being selfish & mean for not helping. I have no issue with helping. I have an issue with knowingly helping users, slackers & deadbeats. Blood doesn’t make it alright to use you or abuse your business. Blood doesn’t mean you should be a doormat. Blood doesn’t mean other children in your care should be subjective you your nephew’s poor behavior. I GET HE IS PROBABLY A GREAT LITTLE GUY who needs his mother to get it together. I also understand you love him.

Create clear boundaries for her as you would a non related client. Failure to do so is a disservice to your sister, yourself and more importantly your nephew.
Now that the drama is over....

You are absolutely right. I accuse my mom of enabling, but I also do it by allowing this to go on. We have huge fights that get us nowhere and only create more hard feelings. And I continue to take him. I contribute to this problem very reluctantly. I'm just so afraid of where he'll end up if I don't take him. And she uses that against me.
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Tags:parents - are clueless
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