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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>School Work During Shutdown
Unregistered 04:10 AM 03-23-2020
I have had a family daycare for 31 years, and I've seen it all, had to make adjustments here and there in my policies, and I've also tolerated a lot of mistreatment because I get that the parents can't see things from my point of view.

I texted a parent yesterday to let her know I would continue to be open this week. I texted to avoid a phone call, but she called seconds later and took 45 minutes of my Sunday to go over what she expected from me regarding school work for her 2 kids. She also sent me a mock up time schedule for the work. I don't mind supplementing school work but I'm not paid to be a teacher. She is already receiving a $70 discount from me.

I plan to tell her today that she will no longer receive the discount and that a center might be in her best interest. How would you respond to this request/demand by a parent? Am I being unreasonable?
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Cat Herder 05:38 AM 03-23-2020
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have had a family daycare for 31 years, and I've seen it all, had to make adjustments here and there in my policies, and I've also tolerated a lot of mistreatment because I get that the parents can't see things from my point of view.

I texted a parent yesterday to let her know I would continue to be open this week. I texted to avoid a phone call, but she called seconds later and took 45 minutes of my Sunday to go over what she expected from me regarding school work for her 2 kids. She also sent me a mock up time schedule for the work. I don't mind supplementing school work but I'm not paid to be a teacher. She is already receiving a $70 discount from me.

I plan to tell her today that she will no longer receive the discount and that a center might be in her best interest. How would you respond to this request/demand by a parent? Am I being unreasonable?
Personally, I would not have texted or answered the phone on a Sunday. If I had inadvertently answered I would have interrupted her to tell her that schoolwork is a parental responsibility. I also would have never given a discount. Both things lead to resentment and spell the doom of the client relationship from the very beginning. I would see it as a gift and they would see it that I was overcharging them to begin with and they showed me by talking me down.

"After some consideration, I feel we have had a miscommunication as to our working relationship. I offer childcare services for a fee. Nothing more. I understand this pandemic is something new and you are struggling to figure out a way to make it work out to your best interest, but schoolwork is a parental responsibility. I am not willing to change our group childcare schedule or add to my workload to fill your responsibilities.

After further consideration, I see your current discount is no longer applicable and will be charging you the full rate beginning next week. If this does not work for your family, please >insert termination of contract policy<. Thanks in advance for your understanding."
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Blackcat31 09:01 AM 03-23-2020
I would do exactly as Cat Herder said.

I would never agree to do school work with a child in care.

Providers that enroll school aged kids usually provide CARE after school NOT education when school is off.

For a parent to even request that is pretty unfair to the provider under any circumstances.
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31YearsInBiz 10:09 AM 03-23-2020
Just to be clear, I wasn't removing her discount because of her request, I was removing it if I was going to be helping her kids with their school work packets during the shutdown.

Thanks for your responses, very helpful stuff!
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Jo123ABC 12:09 PM 03-23-2020
Originally Posted by 31YearsInBiz:
Just to be clear, I wasn't removing her discount because of her request, I was removing it if I was going to be helping her kids with their school work packets during the shutdown.

Thanks for your responses, very helpful stuff!
Why is she getting a discount in the first place though?
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Ariana 02:42 PM 03-23-2020
She wants childcare AND a tutor. Tutoring rates here are $20 an hour so I would be quoting her your price.
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Sunshine69 03:49 PM 03-23-2020
I would simply explain that you are providing childcare, not class instruction.

Here I’d use the old licensing requirement excuse. “Sorry, but I have X number of children of different ages to supervise and school instruction for school age children would not allow me to supervise the other children adequately.”

Then “On another note, due to increased needs in supplies for having kids here all day that would otherwise be in school, I am no longer able to extend any discounts.”

My own children are able to check their laptops for class assignments daily and do their work on their own, just like homework. If a school aged child in my program had a similar situation, they would certainly be allowed to use their electronic devices, during the younger children’s’ nap time only, to do their school work, but I do not provide instruction.
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31YearsInBiz 04:57 AM 03-24-2020
About the discount.. When I take on kids and I quote a price, I try not to raise their price when my rates increase. I "grandfather" them. I did raise her price by $10 one year and she questioned me because they were "loyal" to me. So their after school rate is $40 less than others and full-time is $70 less than others.

This is what I sent home:

"Hi XXX,

I hope you’re having a good day. I know that while yesterday I agreed to help with the kids’ school work, I honestly was a bit unprepared for the request and hadn’t had time to fully consider what was involved.

After reviewing the work sent and the requirements of adult help, internet access, etc., this really is not something I can offer at this time. This curriculum is really designed for a parent that is home with their kids and has the capacity to create a home-school environment. With the various age ranges in the kids here and my daily responsibilities, this simply isn’t feasible.

Please remember that my role in our relationship is that of a family daycare provider. I provide a safe, nurturing environment for your children while you work. I am not a school teacher, and I have the responsibility of looking after and providing this environment for all of the kids in my care.

I’ve spoken to other daycare providers and centers including (DC center she has her kids on a list to go) today, and my policies are in line with theirs regarding schoolwork.

I’m sorry if this causes you any undue stress given the circumstances we face today. I do have to think of myself and my health and well being as well as that of the kids I provide daycare for.

That all said, if there is any work XXX and XXX can work independently on, I can schedule time for that. I’m happy to review the work but this is all I can offer."

And this is a text she sent me this morning along with a note about their school work:

"Morning. I think if the kids do their packets 1/2 am and 1/2 afternoon that would work. Could you please have it the same time every day so it's routine and they have a schedule for school work."

Sigh.
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Cat Herder 06:07 AM 03-24-2020
Originally Posted by 31YearsInBiz:
About the discount.. When I take on kids and I quote a price, I try not to raise their price when my rates increase. I "grandfather" them. I did raise her price by $10 one year and she questioned me because they were "loyal" to me. So their after school rate is $40 less than others and full-time is $70 less than others.

This is what I sent home:

"Hi XXX,

I hope you’re having a good day. I know that while yesterday I agreed to help with the kids’ school work, I honestly was a bit unprepared for the request and hadn’t had time to fully consider what was involved.

After reviewing the work sent and the requirements of adult help, internet access, etc., this really is not something I can offer at this time. This curriculum is really designed for a parent that is home with their kids and has the capacity to create a home-school environment. With the various age ranges in the kids here and my daily responsibilities, this simply isn’t feasible.

Please remember that my role in our relationship is that of a family daycare provider. I provide a safe, nurturing environment for your children while you work. I am not a school teacher, and I have the responsibility of looking after and providing this environment for all of the kids in my care.

I’ve spoken to other daycare providers and centers including (DC center she has her kids on a list to go) today, and my policies are in line with theirs regarding schoolwork.

I’m sorry if this causes you any undue stress given the circumstances we face today. I do have to think of myself and my health and well being as well as that of the kids I provide daycare for.

That all said, if there is any work XXX and XXX can work independently on, I can schedule time for that. I’m happy to review the work but this is all I can offer."

And this is a text she sent me this morning along with a note about their school work:

"Morning. I think if the kids do their packets 1/2 am and 1/2 afternoon that would work. Could you please have it the same time every day so it's routine and they have a schedule for school work."

Sigh.
Unbelievable. What a bully.

I'd text back "No."

Let her find a loophole in that.
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Blackcat31 06:08 AM 03-24-2020
Originally Posted by 31YearsInBiz:
About the discount.. When I take on kids and I quote a price, I try not to raise their price when my rates increase. I "grandfather" them. I did raise her price by $10 one year and she questioned me because they were "loyal" to me. So their after school rate is $40 less than others and full-time is $70 less than others.

This is what I sent home:

"Hi XXX,

I hope you’re having a good day. I know that while yesterday I agreed to help with the kids’ school work, I honestly was a bit unprepared for the request and hadn’t had time to fully consider what was involved.

After reviewing the work sent and the requirements of adult help, internet access, etc., this really is not something I can offer at this time. This curriculum is really designed for a parent that is home with their kids and has the capacity to create a home-school environment. With the various age ranges in the kids here and my daily responsibilities, this simply isn’t feasible.

Please remember that my role in our relationship is that of a family daycare provider. I provide a safe, nurturing environment for your children while you work. I am not a school teacher, and I have the responsibility of looking after and providing this environment for all of the kids in my care.

I’ve spoken to other daycare providers and centers including (DC center she has her kids on a list to go) today, and my policies are in line with theirs regarding schoolwork.

I’m sorry if this causes you any undue stress given the circumstances we face today. I do have to think of myself and my health and well being as well as that of the kids I provide daycare for.

That all said, if there is any work XXX and XXX can work independently on, I can schedule time for that. I’m happy to review the work but this is all I can offer."

And this is a text she sent me this morning along with a note about their school work:

"Morning. I think if the kids do their packets 1/2 am and 1/2 afternoon that would work. Could you please have it the same time every day so it's routine and they have a schedule for school work."

Sigh.
Clearly she didn't "hear" a word you said.

Given that she isn't even staying with you (names on list for a center) I find it some what humorous that she literally said she was "loyal" to you.....
You offer a service, she essentially buys that service. That isn't loyalty...that's business. Add that she plans to leave when a space opens in another place and she is down right rude really.

But anyways .....as far as the school work goes I would handle it one of two ways... I would either just ignore all requests for participation on your part and let the kids be. Don't question or remind them about their school work. Don't engage in a conversation about school work with her about it. That just makes her think you are already involved so you must continue to be involved.

If she asks, just repeat what you already said to her "I'm busy with the care and supervision of the kids so you'll need to manage school work on your time."
DON'T apologize. As there is nothing for you to apologize for.

OR

I would simply tell her verbally "I will provide a time for the kids to do their work but I will NOT be involved in whether or not they do/don't complete their work. It is NOT part of the services I offer" (again, don't apologize)

The audacity of parents never ceases to amaze me.
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31YearsInBiz 06:40 AM 03-24-2020
Funny enough, when all this began on Sunday, she professed her loyalty and that they wouldn't be leaving me, ever.

The center she wants to take them to is closed with pay indefinitely.......

She has been texting me and calling me all morning pressuring me. And, yes, completely not hearing me. It takes alot for me to blow, but I'm about there. I finally told her I'm not discussing this again, it's affecting me and mainly it's affecting her kids as they can feel the tension and don't know what's going on but know it's about them.

I'm 2 seconds way from telling her to come get her kids and I'm done. I really depend on this income as my enrollment is pretty low right now, but I'm at the breaking point.
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Cat Herder 07:04 AM 03-24-2020
I am so sorry.

I'll never understand the paradox of how the clients we do the most for are always the ones to demand more and exit ugly.

That is why I start at no. I just have to, now.
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Annalee 07:15 AM 03-24-2020
The school system here has hotspots so students can sit in the parking lot of the school and do their work if no internet at home. Parents are in an uproar. Can you imagine parents taking the elementary students and sitting in the car and then high schools students partying in the parking lot.
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Unregistered 07:18 AM 03-24-2020
Would be the straw for me. All items packed up for home time. Would be their last day.
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Cat Herder 07:27 AM 03-24-2020
Originally Posted by Annalee:
The school system here has hotspots so students can sit in the parking lot of the school and do their work if no internet at home. Parents are in an uproar. Can you imagine parents taking the elementary students and sitting in the car and then high schools students partying in the parking lot.
Public libraries usually do, too. Maybe that might be a quieter option? That is all we had for many years. It was fantastic.
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Annalee 04:35 PM 03-24-2020
The governor has closed public schools here till at least April 24.
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Cat Herder 03:39 AM 03-25-2020
Originally Posted by Annalee:
The governor has closed public schools here till at least April 24.
I saw an ad that said OnStar and GM are offering free internet access in their own cars for 3 months. https://www.engadget.com/2020-03-23-...ronavirus.html
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Annalee 05:03 AM 03-25-2020
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
I saw an ad that said OnStar and GM are offering free internet access in their own cars for 3 months. https://www.engadget.com/2020-03-23-...ronavirus.html
I heard yesterday that all this schoolwork from home was for naught because the governor has waived all testing and the 180 day school rule.....that there is no way to give an accurate grade to students that are not taught new material. What the grades were after the third 9-weeks is what the final grade would be??? Even IF they returned after April 24, there would be only 20 days left on the calendar....and we already know graduation is not gonna happen, so why would they send the kids back to school? I'm anxious to see how all this plays out.
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e.j. 08:10 AM 03-25-2020
Originally Posted by Annalee:
I heard yesterday that all this schoolwork from home was for naught because the governor has waived all testing and the 180 day school rule.....that there is no way to give an accurate grade to students that are not taught new material. What the grades were after the third 9-weeks is what the final grade would be???
I've heard the same from a couple of teachers here. No final decisions had been made but this was the general thinking.
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Annalee 11:29 AM 03-25-2020
Originally Posted by e.j.:
I've heard the same from a couple of teachers here. No final decisions had been made but this was the general thinking.
My own tenth grader opened his chromebook to a message from his English teacher (which is a good, funny, kids-love-her teacher) that said "If you get bored, read To Kill a Mockingbird; If you get more bored, write an essay about it, but I want be grading it".

So that tells me, this school year is in the books!
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Meeko 11:40 AM 03-25-2020
Some years ago, I had a school age child (been so long I don't even remember if it was a boy or girl!) and per mother's request, I would ask if the child had any homework and then sit the child to the table to do it. I had already told the mom that I would ask and then provide a place for homework to be done...but that I didn't provide help.

The child got a less than satisfactory report card and suddenly it was ALL my fault because I didn't keep up on homework.

Last day of that's child's care and last time I agreed to homework of ANY kind.
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flying_babyb 03:51 PM 03-28-2020
our kids bring there packets to daycare. The teacher in that class (the school agers are mixed with the 3 and ups) makes them sit and do a half hour or so during the beginning of playtime. They do there work, she dont check it and whatever gets done gets done. The children ask each other for help (think kindergarten through fifth) and they try to work together. Seems to be working but the parents know time is given but there should be no expectations.
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Unregistered 08:40 AM 03-31-2020
Originally Posted by Meeko:
Some years ago, I had a school age child (been so long I don't even remember if it was a boy or girl!) and per mother's request, I would ask if the child had any homework and then sit the child to the table to do it. I had already told the mom that I would ask and then provide a place for homework to be done...but that I didn't provide help.

The child got a less than satisfactory report card and suddenly it was ALL my fault because I didn't keep up on homework.

Last day of that's child's care and last time I agreed to homework of ANY kind.
When I used to work at a center, we had to help the schoolagers with homework. However, many of the children would outright lie about not having any or not bring it. Then the moms would be mad at us. Nice way to teach accountability...
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Tags:bully, bullying, discounts, enforcing policies - consistency, parent - its a verb, unreasonable parental expectations
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