Do you let them, when you know that Mom and Dad are working? My first instinct is to say "no, Mom/Dad are working right now and will be here to pick you up soon and you can talk to them then". These are 10'ish year old kids, so not littles. Is it wrong to deny them that access or perfectly reasonable?

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I would say to talk to mom and dad about it. Let them know they were asking to call and would they prefer it to be discouraged or would they like you to put the call through. I would think they would discourage it, but who knows. If they say it would be fine...then I would probably limit it to one time only. I can see it become habitual.

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I would say no. To me it's my phone and it's for business purposes and whatever DCK needs to tell his mom and dad is probably not important enough that it can't wait until pick-up. I also don't allow personal cell-phone usage here though either so that's probably where my opinion stems from. I'd tell DCK to write them a letter or list of things they have to discuss with mom or dad.

I once had a SA that asked me if they could call mom or dad and it was for things like asking to play with a friend after he got home or if they could go to a sleepover on the weekend. They were all things that could have waited until later but DC wanted to call out of boredom.

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That would also be my first instinct. I think PP was right in saying talk to the parents about it and see how they feel.

We had this happen a lot when we took SA, and the girls would want to ask if they could go over one another houses after daycare. Eventually it became such an ordeal that we decided that any play dates need to be planned on Monday, so that we don't have all the confusion of trying to call multiple parents.

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Well, here's the situation that sparked this thread...

SA came home and seemed to be troubled about something, and wanted to call the parent. They wouldn't tell me what the problem was, only assured me that it was nothing to do with being here/me/anyone else here. I assumed that something happened at school or on the bus that bothered them. The child seemed so bothered (and this is unusual behavior) that I went ahead and let them call. They left a message for the parent and seemed to feel better afterward.

I don't want the kids to feel like I'm barring them from talking to their parents when they're upset about something. However, I don't want it to become a habit. I could see it turning into a situation like MarinaVanessa and Blandino described.

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If it was a once in a long while thing and it was because of something that was out of the ordinary then I think that you made the right choice.

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Nope! Phone is for business/MY family use. If there is an emergency, I will call. They can talk to their parents face to face at pick up time.

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I think you did the right thing. You could tell something was off. I think that's one of the nice things about having your child in a home daycare.

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Exactly how I feel.

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I would not allow them to call. I would let the parents know that the child is requesting to call them and that you do not allow personal calls during the day.

I did once have a drop in for a few weeks SA that walked to my house and would call mom as soon as he got here. I did not have a problem with that. It was an "I'm here.", "OK, see you later" type call.

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If it was a one time thing, yes, I call the parents, and hand the kids the phone. I'll even do that for a little kid.

I wouldn't do it every day, just so the kid can say "When are you coming?" But, if the child has a real issue and feels like they need to talk to mom or dad, i'm all for letting them do that.

I assume if a kid asks me that, they have a good reason that is important to them.

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I would ask them what they need to call about first. If I think it is important than I may let them use the phone (or I will tell them that I will call their parents) but if its something petty or that can wait until pick up I would tell them no the phone is only for emergencies. But most school age kids now have cell phones- but I would probably let the DC parents know up front that kids are discouraged from using their cell phones at daycare (Must be in their cubbies/lockers). And I would probably let parents know up front at an interview (if they enrolled as SAKs) that daycare children are not allowed to use the child care home phones unless it is an emergency, if kids frequently call their parents (or anyone else for that matter) their parents will be charged $1 a minute.

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We would have, and have, done the same thing at our center in that situation. We usually make the initial call because sometimes parents don't have a direct line and we don't want them thinking it is an emergency when it isn't.

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I think in your situation you made the right decision to let dcb call parents. I would make sure to let him know it's not going to be an ongoing thing where he can just call all the time. He obviously was upset and needed his parents.

I have an 8 yo dcg who every single day when grandma or dad picks up, she's got to immediately tell them all about every single thing she's worried about at the door. I know if she was a child who would be allowed to call parents she would be doing it constantly. I'd never allow her to be able to do it. And I'd never allow it at all...except in a situation as you described. Even if the parent said it was ok...kids would use every excuse in the world to call.

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Usually no but in the situation you described, I would have allowed a phone call, too. To be honest, I'd be proud of the kid for their willingness to share their problems with their parent, to seek their parent's comfort and guidance when something is obviously bothering them, and I'd want to encourage the child to continue to seek out their parents when the child needs them. If it were to become a regular thing then I'd stop it and allowing a phone call would be granted on a case by case basis. I'd also check with the parent and make sure they can take a phone call in a situation like you described.

I've allowed older to text their parents from my phone when they've been upset or missing them. I just have the child tell the parent it's them and then send a couple lines. Texting is (usually) less intrusive to the parent's work but still allows the child to connect to their parent if they feel they need to.

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That's not a bad idea. I'll do this next time (though hopefully we won't have a next time).

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I agree that you did the right thing. It's not a typical request, and the child seemed upset. I do agree that you should talk to mom and dad and develop a plan in case this happens again or starts happening frequently. I care for several SA's so I can totally see it becoming a "monkey see, monkey do" situation.

I was friends with a girl growing up and she and her siblings would call her mother several times a day at work - usually if they were arguing/fighting and wanted her to intervene I'm surprised the mother didn't think that maybe the kids (they were home alone) could have been sent to a day camp or something for better supervision (she was a social worker) or that she wasn't fired from her job as it was BAD

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I agree. And 10 is old enough to understand the difference between a habit and a special circumstance.

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I had some siblings with their own cell phones a couple of years ago that would call their parents several times just in the 3 hours that they were here with me in the afternoons. Both parents had office jobs, I have no idea why they didn't get in trouble for taking so many personal calls. However, they told me up front that it was perfectly fine with them for them to call...in fact, they encouraged it. They even went as far as telling me that they got them their own cell phones because they had to be in afterschool care. In retrospect, that should have been a huge red flag, but I didn't catch it. Now, I know better.

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