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Melissa1971 02:06 PM 05-20-2011
I have a 4 yr old girl that has some serious social & emotional issues. She continously hits, calls people stupid including me, screams at the top of her lungs if in time out. I have tried positive discipline, getting her doing something kind or following directions & still no results. She is disrupting everyone else's play time & nap time. I feel like I'm spending must of my day disciplining this child & exhausted. Can any please help me?????
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Cat Herder 03:01 PM 05-20-2011
Truthfully I would have to let her go. Those behaviors do not work in group childcare without AT LEAST two adults in the room.
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sahm2three 03:04 PM 05-20-2011
I always repeat the same thing when they go to time out. "You hit X, and that is not ok. Your time out will begin when you are quiet." Or whatever the offense was. If they aren't quiet, I wait a minute or so and repeat, "Your time out will begin when you are quiet." Soon they get tired of sitting and become quiet and I start the timer. I have a little 5 yo dcg who has severe issues. One day we fought time out ALL morning long. She wouldn't be quiet in time out so her time didn't ever start! Her parents insisted that I MUST win, or I am screwed. So I served her lunch in time out as well. (She was sitting in a chair on the deck, not like she was in the corner). After lunch, it was nap time and then after nap, I gave her the chance to do it right, and she knew I meant business and sat in her time out quietly. That day changed things for her and I. She knows that I mean what I say. Sit her at the table with a couple books, dolls, coloring, or some activity if she can't keep her hands to herself. Tell her she lost the privilege to play with the kids by hitting if she is hurting people. Ignore her screaming in time out, and just repeat, "Your timeout will begin when you are quiet." You have to win with this child. That is my gut instinct! Good luck!
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nannyde 03:11 PM 05-20-2011
She can't manage group care. She needs her own adult. It's not fair to have her in a group of kids where she's so unhappy that she is so violent.

With her constant hitting she is saying constantly that she can't handle your environment. She needs to be somewhere where she is HAPPY. She needs to be surrounded by people who KNOW how to manage violent children. You aren't that person. I'm not either....

It's okay to say when a child needs care beyond your skills. Just be honest with the parents and tell them that she is very unhappy in your environment and you want the best for her.

She deserves it.
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sharlan 03:28 PM 05-20-2011
I agree with Nannyde, not every daycare is suited for every child. Be honest with the parents and let them know that your daycare is not the right place for her.

I always told my parents that if their child wasn't happy coming in the morning, then my home wasn't the right place for them and they needed to make other arrangements.
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Tags:4 year old, behavior problems, hitting
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