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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How To Approach Daycare Mom?
Sunny Day 09:42 AM 02-10-2011
I have a little boy in my daycare who I am positive is having some serious issues. Most of these have exhibited themselves in the last month. They include:
-excessive tantrums (often 3-4 hours)
-withdrawn/lethargic (won't play, make crafts, etc. just wants to sit)
-very easily upset by things that never used to upset him
-very clingy
-communicating through his stuffed monkey which is his security toy
-sudden and severe separation anxiety
-I'm also noticing he is not talking as much
-staring off into space (this is the most recent thing--today he has done it twice for about 30-45 seconds and both times he doesn't respond to me saying his name, the first time he seemed to snap out of it when I clapped in front of his face, the second he seemed to come out of on his own)

I am very very concerned and have already given his mom the name of a child therapist. She has repeatedly asked me for my opinions and today I told her I would call my local health unit to see if I could connect her to some more resources if she wanted me to. I've also been researching his symptoms and some tools to deal with them (I have a degree in social development, so I'm not just trolling online! lol). My issue is this: it is TERRIFYING all the stuff I'm finding: ADHD, Sensory Autism, Absence Seizures, etc. I don't want to completely freak her out or at all make her think that I think this is what it is, but that is everything that is coming up. I think I am just going to give her the resources and let her research it herself....What would you do??
Cat Herder 09:57 AM 02-10-2011
I just took mandatory training on this.

We are supposed to write down our concerns, with clear cut examples of each situation. These notes are supposed to include dates, times and events leading up to the behavior.

Once we have sufficient information, about 30 days, we are to schedule a conference and discuss our concerns. During the conference we are to then suggest to the parent that they consult their pediatrician.

Sounds exhausting and a bit impractical to me in such a small group where the parents and I communicate daily, but I will give it a whirl if I need it...

Now, to me it sounds like you are well ahead of the game if Mom is already asking your imput..... BUT she needs to be asking the Pediatrician, not you .

IMHO, stepping back and letting her take the lead is in your best interest for liability issues and the "anger stage" of grief the mother will go through if the child indeed gets a bad diagnosis.

If she takes the "shoot the messenger" route it can all backfire and cost you clients, ykwim? I have seen this....

Good luck and I hope the little guy gets the help he needs....
kendallina 10:00 AM 02-10-2011
Have her make an appointment with her pedi and have her bring a list of all of her concerns, as well as yours.
Zoe 10:00 AM 02-10-2011
I agree with catherder! You've already done your part by voicing your concerns with dcm as well as referring her to a doctor. Now it's up to the mom to get some help for her kid. Hopefully she will do this asap, as it sounds like a pretty big issue here.

Good luck!
momatheart 10:18 AM 02-10-2011
Poor little guy. Before I read the end of your post and what you had found searching the internet my first thoughts were autism and seizures. I believe seizures go along with some forms of Autism.

I sure hope this mom gets into her son into the dr soon. Keep us posted on this little guy.
ninosqueridos 11:44 AM 02-10-2011
I had a dcg once who (IMO) WAS having absence seizures - there are youtube videos on them and this girl was exhibiting the exact same behavior.

She already had a speech therapist, and one day the dcm told me that she thought the therapist was CRAZY at suggesting she see the pedi for the possibility of absence seizures...and she went on and on about how she wasn't qualified to think that about her DD, and that her DD was just being silly, etc.

I never did voice that I agreed with her "crazy" she and her husband had already dismissed their speech therapist about it. It's really sad that her DD could have gotten some early assistance, but I really don't think there was anything I could have said to have changed their minds.

Anyway, I think you've already taken great steps to make the Mom aware of your concerns, and she needs to just take it up with the pedi at this point. If you start throwing potential diagnoses out there, it may come back to bite you. Hope your dck gets the help he needs!!
Tags:autism, behavior problems, seizures, separation anxiety, tantrums
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