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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Potential New Daycare? Your Thoughts, Please!
Parent needing help 08:23 PM 12-08-2011
I'm not sure if this should be posting in the Parents forum, but it seems like this forum gets more traffic and I'd really love some thoughts on this. It may be a little long, I apologize!

I have an 18mo daughter who is mine and my husband's only child. We moved from another state to the current state we are in right now.

Over the past three weeks, we visited a total of 12 daycares - 4 centers and 8 home daycares. We immediately ruled out center daycares because I, especially, wanted my daughter to grow up with children both younger and older than her so she can learn follow in the older children's footsteps and to lead the younger children by example.

The first 5 home daycares were NOT what we wanted in a daycare. One we visited during morning snacktime and she was feeding the children marshmallows. I'm talking the regular sized marshmallows and each kid sitting at the table had at leaste 3 on the napkin in front of them. "These kids LOVE marshmallows" was what the provider said. Another provider had at least 6 children under the age of two (not sure if that's allowed) and we could barely hear the provider over the screaming of a few of the babies. Some of them were climbing on chairs and tables and hitting each other with toys and the provider kept on talking and explaining her daycare and how she did things. It seemed more like a zoo than a daycare.

The 5th daycare we tried was only accepting 3 years and up. I'm sorry, but shouldn't this have been mentioned when we emailed and scheduled a tour when I clearly stated I had an 18mo old? The 6th one was nicer An older grandmother type of provider whose house smelled like cookies. She had two babies who were just under 1, and when she guided us to the playroom we saw both babies, fast asleep, in infant swings. I was horrified! My sister's infant daughter died of positional asphyxiation from sleeping in an infant swing and I tried to voice my concerns and my situation with my sister and she said "What's positional asphyxiation?". I immediately vetoed this daycare.

We had almost given up hope and gone with a center daycare when my husband suggested looking on Craigslist. I thought this idea was kind of out there, but I was willing to give it a try. I found an ad about an Organic home daycare and I visited the website this provider had on her ad. This website was flawless! It had her rates, her hours, references from current and past clients, photos of her daycare room, her organic menu posted and information about her infant, toddler and preschool programs. I was impressed. I emailed this woman through her website and she contacted me later that night to set up an interview the next day mid-morning.

When we arrived, we knocked on the door and this extremely friendly, polite young woman answered the door. We were a little shocked at her appearance because she looked maybe 18 years old, but she welcomed us into the home and introduced herself as the provider. She took us through the backyard first and showed us the children who were having outdoor play and introduced us to her mother who is her assistant. She left her mother outside with the kids and set out to show us the playroom which was her separate garage that was converted. It was instantly that we felt we found the right daycare. The playroom is basically a separate house with an large playroom, a separate Baby Zone (as she called it), a bathroom and a small kitchen. There were divided areas such as Pretend Play, Arts & Crafts, Manipulatives, ect. The Baby Zone was amazing, with toys that were in great shape and everything was so organized. It was blocked off from the regular play area where the older kids played.

This provider explained about her no-battery toys, floor-based play (we have never heard this before and she explained in fantastically that I almost wished I could participate in floor-based play), why she chose to go Organic (she was a vegetarian herself), why she separated the infants from the older children, her daily schedule, her weekly fieldtrips that included Storytime at the library, the zoo and aquarium during the warmer months, kid museums and parks, ect. She had an entrance where we first walked into that had an archway, cubbies for each child, coat racks for the preschool-age children, real cute mini-mailboxes for each child on the wall that she put any papers, artwork or such in for parents to pick up. Normally, she explained that the archway would be just 4 feet high, and it was meant for only the children to walk through. Parents would walk through the door, hang up their children's stuff and sign them in, and hug/kiss their child before sending them into "daycare". It sounded like a wonderful thing.

We came to the end of the tour and interview and she gave us some paperwork that included her handbook, contract and introductory letters and information. I couldn't hold it in any longer and I, embarrassingly blurted out, "How old are you?". I can hear my husband gasp next to me and the only the that comforted me was that the provider just laughed. "I'm 21 years old." She explained that she was a nanny for two little girls (who she still had in care) for two years, before working as an assistant teacher at a daycare for two years while she got her degree in Early Childhood Education. She eventually opened up her daycare at 20 years old and she admits that parents did look shocked to know her age and that most of them did ask her age which she was absolutely okay with.

Concluding my story.......... I asked if we'd be able to come and observe her with the children and bring our daughter along for a play-date sort of thing. She said she only did observing at 10am, and that she can only allow us to stay for 30 minutes. We are going back next Wednesday to observe.

Am I wrong to trust a 21 year old provider (even with a mother who works as her assistant)?
What sort of questions should I be asking during out observation?
What should I look for during the observation?

Out of all of the daycares we visited, this woman was the most friendly, the most professional, the most educated, the most knowledgable about kids, the most......perfect and exactly what we wanted in a daycare. I almost feel intimidated by her by how she comes off and she's so smart!

I would love other providers thoughts on this as you wouldn't probably know more about how daycares work on the inside and if 21 is too young to be owning her own daycare.

Thanks!
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Michelle 09:15 PM 12-08-2011
Wow, I think you should go with this daycare!
One more thing you need to do is get her license number and call licensing to check to to see if she had any violations, she probably doesn't but it's best to be sure.
Good job being so diligent!
Oh, and even though this seems like a great place, be sure to do a few spot checks in the middle of the day.
I am a licensed daycare provider for 11 years and when I get them, I am actually happy that the parent cares so much.
So, don't feel bad doing it.
If she has nothing to hide, she won't be offended.
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Kaddidle Care 04:26 AM 12-09-2011
Age is only a number. It sounds like she really has her act together. I'm surprised she's not already filled up.

Go with your gut - it sounds like a great place to me!
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MichellesKiddos 04:45 AM 12-09-2011
I think you already know your answer Even though she is "only" 21, she sounds like she has a great facility set up and a great program. As the pp stated, go with your gut. Make sure you do your homework to ensure she doesn't have any serious violations, but I think that place sounds like a lot of fun! Good luck
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erinalexmom 04:56 AM 12-09-2011
I actually would like a young provider because I think they have lots of energy and excitement for the job. Just my personal opinion
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sharlan 05:01 AM 12-09-2011
Age really has nothing to do with the quality of care she provides. As others have said, call licensing to double check.
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mismatchedsocks 05:15 AM 12-09-2011
Ditto what pp said. I started my home daycare 11 years ago when I was 21, and my son was 2. I still get asked how old I am and get asked to talk to my mom on the phone. If she really knows her stuff, then who cares if she is 50 or 18!
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Solandia 05:25 AM 12-09-2011
A 21yo provider... yes & no. It really depends. For my girls, she would have been perfect. My girls were easy babies, easy to direct toddlers, and awesome preschoolers. They are/were the perfect kids for group care...even for a startup/newbie provider

For my boys, absolutely not. There is NO WAY I would send these two hellions to a provider that doesn't have ample (meaning years) of experience in home daycare. Much different than nannying....much different than being an assistant in a dual-provider/bunch of kids situation. By nature, a 21yo just cannot have that experience, no matter the background.

IF, and only IF, my boys where the only ones in her care (a nanny), I would love to have a 21yo, new or experienced nanny. But not when there will be 2-6+ other kids to give these two the opportunity for mayhem. *I* have 10 years of experience of boys, not just any boys, but ones kicked out of centers, adhd/ODD, super crazy, super physical, personal space-haters....lets just say...my youngest is Dennis the Menace @ 17mo. Not mean, but anythign that can happen, will happen, with this little guys around. It takes tons of experience, for it not to be a distaster with permanent consequences.
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DCMom 06:00 AM 12-09-2011
My daughter is almost 19, in college to get her early childhood degree and is MY assistant. I fully intend to become HER assistant in the future. She grew up in my daycare and has said from when she was 15 that she was going to be a daycare provider.

Sounds like this young woman knows what she wants and is accomplishing it ~ I'm proud of her and I don't even know her!

Age is just a number if you have a passion for what you do. I would say go with your gut; if you like this provider, give her a chance and don't let her age stop you.
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kayla 06:28 AM 12-09-2011
Age has nothing to do with it. I am 23 and have been doing daycare since i was 21. I enjoy every minute of it. I also grew up watching family friends children for extra cash. I say go with her she sounds great!!!
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Meeko 06:42 AM 12-09-2011
Sounds wonderful!

My advise is don't talk at all during your observation time. Try and stay in the background. She will be busy with the children. Save any questions for later. Remember that children often act out when there is a stranger in the room, so be mindful that you are not necessarily seeing a typical day if there are any behavior issues. A perfectly behaved child will turn into a hellion if he thinks he can do it in front of people! This is completely normal!

Call licensing for a check on her and ask for references from both current and past clients.

From what you say, she sounds perfect for you!
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SilverSabre25 06:46 AM 12-09-2011
It sounds like she's got a great program and great experience, plus her mother being her assistant, I think you should go for it!
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cheerfuldom 07:06 AM 12-09-2011
She sounds way better and more up-to-date than the rest of the daycares you visited. Why should age be an issue? I would ask for references from current parents and ask the parents the remaining questions. How long has she been caring for their children? How does she handle issues that arise? etc.

See if this daycare has a trial period too. that way you can feel things out for a few weeks before committing to something long term
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littlemissmuffet 08:16 AM 12-09-2011
I am a young provider and I look even younger than I actually am. I also do not appear "professional" to some folks as I have many visible tattoos and piercings (mostly facial) and have wild hair. I wear band t-shirts and hoodies most days. However, I ACT very professional, via emails, over the phone... and in person. When parents come for their initial interview I can see in their eyes that they didn't expect to meet me at the door. But after looking at my home, reading through my paper work and watching me interact with their children they always comment about how I am the best daycare they've seen yet... "when can we sign up?"
I've never had a parent NOT sign up.

I personally would have been extremely offended if a parent ever asked my age. What does it matter? Sure some 21 year olds have no idea what they're doing - but like with everything in this world, there are always exceptions to the rule.

Good for you for being diligent, but shame on you for the age discrimination!!

If your question wasn't specifically about her age, and rather about her experience... my thoughts on this may have been diffrent. But even then, if parents didn't trust us in the beginning when we were all getting started none of us would have any experience!

I agree with the PP who said don't talk or ask questions during the observation - save that for a follow up phone call or email... or if the provider invites you to ask questions.
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cheerfuldom 08:47 AM 12-09-2011
OP, don't feel bad for what may be seen as "age discrimination". You are a parent....you have a right to know the experience of your provider and yes, age is ONE of the factors to be considered. You interviewed already and are considering sending your daughter there....clearly NOT discriminating, just concerned and voicing that.

If my provider appeared around 18 (as the OP stated), then yes I would ask her age. Its important to have an adult over 18 available at all times for emergency purposes. It would be important to know if your child was ever to be left with someone under 18.
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small_steps 09:46 AM 12-09-2011
21 is definately young but though it's uncommon, there are many 21 year olds out there that do have their acts together. If she is very mature for her age I would go for it. She obviously has her act together and knows what she wants out of life.
Go with your instincts on this one. Maybe check references if she has a couple for you to call.
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kayla 11:42 AM 12-09-2011
Alot of my families chose me because they said i was young and had more energy, they felt like older providers were burnt out..
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Crystal 01:40 PM 12-09-2011
Her age is fine. She has experience, education and clearly, based on your description, a passion for working with children. She also has her Mom there, which is helpful

During the observation, you should not ask any questions. That is what the interview was for. The observation is simply for you to observe her, in action, working with the children. If you have questions, ask her when would be a good time to call her.

What you should look for during the observation is how she interacts with the children. How she speaks to them, her body language with them (which is sometimes more telling than their words) how the children are with her, how she handles behavior issues when they arise, etc. You should also observe her assistant as well, in the same way.

Good luck. I hope, whomever you choose, that your child and your family find the perfect fit
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CheekyChick 02:14 PM 12-09-2011
Here are the most important questions you need to ask:

1. Is she licensed by the state?
2. Is she CPR/First Aid certified?
3. What is her emergency evacuation plan and does she run drills every month?
4. I would ask why she limits her "parent obvservation" to 30 minutes. I think a parent should stay as long as THEY need to stay in order to get a good idea of what REALLY happens during the day.
5. I would ask her what her policy is on "drop in" visits.

Good luck in making this very important decision.
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SilverSabre25 03:07 PM 12-09-2011
Originally Posted by CheekyChick:
Here are the most important questions you need to ask:

1. Is she licensed by the state?
2. Is she CPR/First Aid certified?
3. What is her emergency evacuation plan and does she run drills every month?
4. I would ask why she limits her "parent obvservation" to 30 minutes. I think a parent should stay as long as THEY need to stay in order to get a good idea of what REALLY happens during the day.
5. I would ask her what her policy is on "drop in" visits.

Good luck in making this very important decision.
Are you kidding me? That would invite parents to stay the entire dang day! She probably limits the observations out of common sense and good business practice, really.
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parent needing help 08:56 PM 12-15-2011
Hi everyone, I'm back! Thank you to those who gave me tips about what I should look for and I tried to blend into the background as much as possible.

I was able to go over to observe yesterday. My daughter caught a cold, so my husband had to stay home with her while I went and visited.

First impression - this was probably the most calmest place in the world. There was no crying, no screaming, no yelling, no tantrums.........it was very peaceful. I ended up staying just over an hour total and during that time, there wasn't one tear shed by any of the children, or tantrums thrown. I realize that 1 hour isn't a wonderful judge of the daily life in the daycare, but I was blown away.

The children she has in care are so respectful to the provider, her assistant, and to themselves and each other that I'm pretty sure I had a permanent smile attached to myself. They were sitting down for morning snack when I arrived and each child said "thank you" when they were served, "please" when they wanted more water, and "may I get down please?" when they were finished. There was a few children who bumped into one another when they were pushing in their chairs at the table, and their immediate response was "excuse me" or "I'm sorry". All of the children, with the exception of the three youngest who were probably younger than 18 months and still in high chairs, were responsible for throwing away their trash and putting their cups into the sink, and they all did a very good job. I was then able to watch as they started preparing to go outside on a neighborhood walk. I'm not sure how the provider did it, but she managed to change 8 diapers in less than 15 minutes. It almost always takes 5 minutes each diaper change for just my one child and I thought THAT was quick.

The assistant stayed inside with the babies while they went down for a morning nap and 2 other children who didn't have proper outdoor attire. The provider went outside with the other 5 children and they were all "hooked" up to a thing called a Walk-a-dile(?). I'm sure other providers would know what this is but it looked pretty cool and the children knew just what to do after they were strapped in. We took about a 15 minute walk around so that she could show me the park they visit and during this time all the children listened great, held onto the walking rope thing and were great about staying on the sidewalk. Again, I was impressed.

The last 15 minutes I spent was watching the children free play. They were allowed to pick any activity they wanted and it was pretty fun to see how much fun the children had in the elaborate kitchen/dress-up/pretend area.

I left feeling on a wonderful note and I am going to go with this provider. I think she has a good manage on the children she is caring for and I want my daughter to have manners like the other children she had in care. I think my daughter can benefit from the preschool program she does at age 3 and the provider is so friendly. Her age was something I was iffy about - I remember when I was 21! But, I do believe this provider is mature, educated, and she seems like she has a real love for what she's doing. I am usually a good reader of people and I think this provider will work out well for what we wanted for our daughter.

Thank you for the help everyone. It was very much appreciated and it allowed me to see from other providers points of view. I have a hard time seeing another side if I haven't been on the other side personally, so I do think you all helped me.

Thanks again!
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cheerfuldom 06:19 AM 12-16-2011
I am so glad your observation went well! She sounds very organized. One hour with so many little ones and no crying is amazing, just like you said. I don't know if I would pass that test with my 7 kiddos here
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