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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Bad Start with New Clients
spud912 10:07 AM 07-22-2013
I'm hoping my new clients pan out to be ok!
First interview (last Sunday): parents come without child after daycare hours. I loved them and we seemed to really click!
Second interview (last Thursday): had to be scheduled so I can meet their daughter. It was at a bad time right before dinner. The parents were completely different. Both mom and dad were super quiet, but lingered! There were so many awkward silences! Mom was helicoptering around their daughter, who is 18 months old. At one point, mom notices a little red mark on her daughter's forehead and says to dad: "you didn't tell me she got an ouchie today!?" Dad says (and he seems irritated at mom), "it was from just now.....she just bonked her head
." Daughter would not leave mom's side until she had been there for 20-30 minutes, then finally breaks off and goes up the slide in my playroom. Daughter kept pushing my daughters and yelling no (I know, it's common for this age, but it was at the top of the slide....it's dangerous!!). Dad finally convinces mom that daughter is grumpy because she's tired and hungry and they should leave. Dad picks up daughter, who throws a royal fit and starts hitting dad in the face 
. Mom insists that her best friend/ god mother of daughter come the next day with daughter so daughter can be more comfortable before they start this week.
Third interview (last Friday): Lady comes with child during daycare hours.....child has a pacifier in her mouth and a baby bottle with milk in her hand.....just woken up at 9:30 am. Lady is very chatty about how she is a spiritual leader and how the child does well when she goes to her house because it's so calm. I tell godmother that since I watch 6 children under 5, it's not exactly "calm and quiet" in my house 
. Lady is lingering as well. She tells me that last provider for child (child's aunt) didn't work because aunt favored her own daughter, who hit. Lady's words were "thankfully, [child] was pulled out before she picked up any bad habits." Which obviously isn't the case as she was doing those things the night before. Finally, I tell lady that I need to get on with my schedule and thank her for coming. As she's walking out the door, she tells me that I need to treat child special because she's "precious cargo." I tell her "yes, each and every child is precious cargo."
I told mom last Thursday during the second interview and over the phone on Friday morning that we needed to set aside time this weekend to go over the contract. She obviously hears me because she said in another conversation that they will set aside time for the contract. Well, Saturday mid-day I email her and text her that I am available Sunday morning at 11. If this is not a good time she needs to contact me asap so we can make other arrangements before Monday. No response on Saturday.....no response Sunday morning. I wasn't sure if she was planning on coming on Sunday morning and forgot to respond....so I wait around until 11. She doesn't show....she doesn't contact me, etc.
Finally at 5 pm last night she calls me and says she forgot to turn her ringer on during the whole weekend and she didn't check her email. Can we set something up in the next hour or so? I tell her that I assumed she had gone with another provider due to lack of communication and I made plans. Furthermore, her daughter will not be starting without a signed contract and time to review it. I told her I am available on Tuesday night.
Should I even give a second chance? They seemed perfect and amazing at first but now seem somewhat flakey. On top of it all, their daughter seems like a handful! What would you all do?!?!
First interview (last Sunday): parents come without child after daycare hours. I loved them and we seemed to really click!
Second interview (last Thursday): had to be scheduled so I can meet their daughter. It was at a bad time right before dinner. The parents were completely different. Both mom and dad were super quiet, but lingered! There were so many awkward silences! Mom was helicoptering around their daughter, who is 18 months old. At one point, mom notices a little red mark on her daughter's forehead and says to dad: "you didn't tell me she got an ouchie today!?" Dad says (and he seems irritated at mom), "it was from just now.....she just bonked her head
." Daughter would not leave mom's side until she had been there for 20-30 minutes, then finally breaks off and goes up the slide in my playroom. Daughter kept pushing my daughters and yelling no (I know, it's common for this age, but it was at the top of the slide....it's dangerous!!). Dad finally convinces mom that daughter is grumpy because she's tired and hungry and they should leave. Dad picks up daughter, who throws a royal fit and starts hitting dad in the face . Mom insists that her best friend/ god mother of daughter come the next day with daughter so daughter can be more comfortable before they start this week.Third interview (last Friday): Lady comes with child during daycare hours.....child has a pacifier in her mouth and a baby bottle with milk
in her hand.....just woken up at 9:30 am. Lady is very chatty about how she is a spiritual leader and how the child does well when she goes to her house because it's so calm. I tell godmother that since I watch 6 children under 5, it's not exactly "calm and quiet" in my house . Lady is lingering as well. She tells me that last provider for child (child's aunt) didn't work because aunt favored her own daughter, who hit. Lady's words were "thankfully, [child] was pulled out before she picked up any bad habits." Which obviously isn't the case as she was doing those things the night before. Finally, I tell lady that I need to get on with my schedule and thank her for coming. As she's walking out the door, she tells me that I need to treat child special because she's "precious cargo." I tell her "yes, each and every child is precious cargo."I told mom last Thursday during the second interview and over the phone on Friday morning that we needed to set aside time this weekend to go over the contract. She obviously hears me because she said in another conversation that they will set aside time for the contract. Well, Saturday mid-day I email her and text her that I am available Sunday morning at 11. If this is not a good time she needs to contact me asap so we can make other arrangements before Monday. No response on Saturday.....no response Sunday morning. I wasn't sure if she was planning on coming on Sunday morning and forgot to respond....so I wait around until 11. She doesn't show....she doesn't contact me, etc.
Finally at 5 pm last night she calls me and says she forgot to turn her ringer on during the whole weekend and she didn't check her email. Can we set something up in the next hour or so
? I tell her that I assumed she had gone with another provider due to lack of communication and I made plans. Furthermore, her daughter will not be starting without a signed contract and time to review it. I told her I am available on Tuesday night. Should I even give a second chance? They seemed perfect and amazing at first but now seem somewhat flakey. On top of it all, their daughter seems like a handful! What would you all do?!?!
Scout 11:14 AM 07-22-2013
no!!!
I would move on!!
I would move on!!
JoseyJo 11:24 AM 07-22-2013
In the words of the very wise provider.... RUN!!!!
Seriously though- no matter how hard up you are for money (if you are) it is NOT worth getting a child and family that are not a good fit. It will stress you out, keep you from focusing on the other children in care, and may even keep you from getting other, better fitting clients. Believe me, I know from experience!
Seriously though- no matter how hard up you are for money (if you are) it is NOT worth getting a child and family that are not a good fit. It will stress you out, keep you from focusing on the other children in care, and may even keep you from getting other, better fitting clients. Believe me, I know from experience!
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:30 AM 07-22-2013
Precious cargo, like you were unaware that children are valuable? Acceptable behavior (that isn't corrected) includes pushing the potential daycare provider's own child and hitting dad in the face? Parent doesn't respond for the entire weekend and then attempts to demand a meeting within the hour?
RUN.
RUN.
wdmmom 11:34 AM 07-22-2013
I don't think I would. Just the way they helicopter her and the way they speak leads me to believe that they want their child to have his/her own adult. I would be very clear with them that you watch 5 other children and that accidents/bumps/bruises and falls can and do happen. Especially new walkers. I would ask for another interview and ask what they are hoping to get out of daycare and what they think daycare will do for their child. If their answers don't match up to your concepts or program, I'd send them back to searching!
Blackcat31 11:41 AM 07-22-2013
I'd give her a second chance.
Sometimes when things like the weekend chaos happen, it actually serves as an opportunity to "teach" the parent that you follow and abide by ALL of your policies which in turn means you expect the same from them.
It may have been a rocky start but if she follows your policies and does as expected, it might just turn out to be a great arrangement.
If not, then thank goodness for the 2 week trial period.
Sometimes when things like the weekend chaos happen, it actually serves as an opportunity to "teach" the parent that you follow and abide by ALL of your policies which in turn means you expect the same from them.
It may have been a rocky start but if she follows your policies and does as expected, it might just turn out to be a great arrangement.
If not, then thank goodness for the 2 week trial period.
spud912 11:48 AM 07-22-2013
Just wanted to clarify a couple of things:
First, parents seemed on board with my policies during the initial interview. They were adamant about discipline and manners at the time and emphasized that they want order and structure for their daughter.
Second, they did correct daughter when she pushed and hit during the second interview. In both instances, the parents took her hands and moved them down and told her "no." I KNOW how it is to have one of "those" children who are aggressive as my oldest daughter was that way starting at a very young age. However, I just don't know if I want to go through training a child to not hit again, especially if they are not my child. It took my daughter a good year and a half to completely stop being aggressive. I don't want a new child to hurt someone and I especially don't want that behavior to rub off on another child. My current children are really well behaved but I can see that if they are instigated enough they may push back.
As far as HOW they were helicoptering, the mom kept hawking at their daughter to say polite words (like please, thank you, etc). The daughter did not seem to have the desire or ability to say any of those things.
I really don't want to do another interview if I can avoid it. Part of me says that I may have caught them at a really bad time and to give them a trial period, but the other part of me (that's flashing in a neon bright sign) says to run as fast as I can the other direction. If I were to back out, what is the most appropriate way to do so without causing a huge uproar? The parents really think they are set with me.......
First, parents seemed on board with my policies during the initial interview. They were adamant about discipline and manners at the time and emphasized that they want order and structure for their daughter.
Second, they did correct daughter when she pushed and hit during the second interview. In both instances, the parents took her hands and moved them down and told her "no." I KNOW how it is to have one of "those" children who are aggressive as my oldest daughter was that way starting at a very young age. However, I just don't know if I want to go through training a child to not hit again, especially if they are not my child. It took my daughter a good year and a half to completely stop being aggressive. I don't want a new child to hurt someone and I especially don't want that behavior to rub off on another child. My current children are really well behaved but I can see that if they are instigated enough they may push back
.As far as HOW they were helicoptering, the mom kept hawking at their daughter to say polite words (like please, thank you, etc). The daughter did not seem to have the desire or ability to say any of those things.
I really don't want to do another interview if I can avoid it. Part of me says that I may have caught them at a really bad time and to give them a trial period, but the other part of me (that's flashing in a neon bright sign) says to run as fast as I can the other direction. If I were to back out, what is the most appropriate way to do so without causing a huge uproar? The parents really think they are set with me.......
spud912 12:00 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'd give her a second chance.
Sometimes when things like the weekend chaos happen, it actually serves as an opportunity to "teach" the parent that you follow and abide by ALL of your policies which in turn means you expect the same from them.
It may have been a rocky start but if she follows your policies and does as expected, it might just turn out to be a great arrangement.
If not, then thank goodness for the 2 week trial period.
Hmmmm, maybe I will consider a trial period. However, I will term during the trial period for the following (which I can totally see happening in the beginning): child has major separation anxiety and screams for extended periods of time (could happen....she was extremely attached to mom and godmother), child does not nap here, child continues to be aggressive, child really does not fit in with routine or program (she is younger than what I normally take), parents are non-communicative again (to be honest, I can see them trying really hard, at least for now), or parents are questioning every minute detail.I'd give her a second chance.
Sometimes when things like the weekend chaos happen, it actually serves as an opportunity to "teach" the parent that you follow and abide by ALL of your policies which in turn means you expect the same from them.
It may have been a rocky start but if she follows your policies and does as expected, it might just turn out to be a great arrangement.
If not, then thank goodness for the 2 week trial period.
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:07 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by spud912:
Hmmmm, maybe I will consider a trial period. However, I will term during the trial period for the following (which I can totally see happening in the beginning): child has major separation anxiety and screams for extended periods of time (could happen....she was extremely attached to mom and godmother), child does not nap here, child continues to be aggressive, child really does not fit in with routine or program (she is younger than what I normally take), parents are non-communicative again (to be honest, I can see them trying really hard, at least for now), or parents are questioning every minute detail.
After reading your clarifications I think a trial period would be a great thing!Hmmmm, maybe I will consider a trial period. However, I will term during the trial period for the following (which I can totally see happening in the beginning): child has major separation anxiety and screams for extended periods of time (could happen....she was extremely attached to mom and godmother), child does not nap here, child continues to be aggressive, child really does not fit in with routine or program (she is younger than what I normally take), parents are non-communicative again (to be honest, I can see them trying really hard, at least for now), or parents are questioning every minute detail.
Blackcat31 12:07 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by spud912:
Hmmmm, maybe I will consider a trial period. However, I will term during the trial period for the following (which I can totally see happening in the beginning): child has major separation anxiety and screams for extended periods of time (could happen....she was extremely attached to mom and godmother), child does not nap here, child continues to be aggressive, child really does not fit in with routine or program (she is younger than what I normally take), parents are non-communicative again (to be honest, I can see them trying really hard, at least for now), or parents are questioning every minute detail.
Hey, I know you've been doing this a long time too and ya know, sometimes things start rocky and end up great and other times they start out perfect and end the opposite so like I said before, the 2 week trial period is a great policy to have.Hmmmm, maybe I will consider a trial period. However, I will term during the trial period for the following (which I can totally see happening in the beginning): child has major separation anxiety and screams for extended periods of time (could happen....she was extremely attached to mom and godmother), child does not nap here, child continues to be aggressive, child really does not fit in with routine or program (she is younger than what I normally take), parents are non-communicative again (to be honest, I can see them trying really hard, at least for now), or parents are questioning every minute detail.
Plus, I'd rather say I tried and it didn't work out than to not try at all and simply pass because then you will never know what could have been.
Atleast with a trial period, if it doesn't work out well...you know.
JoseyJo 12:16 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by spud912:
Just wanted to clarify a couple of things:
First, parents seemed on board with my policies during the initial interview. They were adamant about discipline and manners at the time and emphasized that they want order and structure for their daughter.
Second, they did correct daughter when she pushed and hit during the second interview. In both instances, the parents took her hands and moved them down and told her "no." I KNOW how it is to have one of "those" children who are aggressive as my oldest daughter was that way starting at a very young age. However, I just don't know if I want to go through training a child to not hit again, especially if they are not my child. It took my daughter a good year and a half to completely stop being aggressive. I don't want a new child to hurt someone and I especially don't want that behavior to rub off on another child. My current children are really well behaved but I can see that if they are instigated enough they may push back.
As far as HOW they were helicoptering, the mom kept hawking at their daughter to say polite words (like please, thank you, etc). The daughter did not seem to have the desire or ability to say any of those things.
I really don't want to do another interview if I can avoid it. Part of me says that I may have caught them at a really bad time and to give them a trial period, but the other part of me (that's flashing in a neon bright sign) says to run as fast as I can the other direction. If I were to back out, what is the most appropriate way to do so without causing a huge uproar? The parents really think they are set with me.......
With the clarification it does sound like it may have been a bad day. Maybe just email her with your concerns and see what she says? We had a family who we recently interviewed that I saw quite a few red flags for. I was just going to pass, but then I changed my mind and just sent her an email saying that we always want our program to be the best fit for the child and family and that I had some concerns on if we would be the best fit. Then I spelled out everything I was worried about. She emailed back and clarified a lot of things I had a the wrong impression on based on the interview (disciple style, what they wanted out of a daycare, etc) We started dcg last week and she (and her mom) have been a joy Just wanted to clarify a couple of things:
First, parents seemed on board with my policies during the initial interview. They were adamant about discipline and manners at the time and emphasized that they want order and structure for their daughter.
Second, they did correct daughter when she pushed and hit during the second interview. In both instances, the parents took her hands and moved them down and told her "no." I KNOW how it is to have one of "those" children who are aggressive as my oldest daughter was that way starting at a very young age. However, I just don't know if I want to go through training a child to not hit again, especially if they are not my child. It took my daughter a good year and a half to completely stop being aggressive. I don't want a new child to hurt someone and I especially don't want that behavior to rub off on another child. My current children are really well behaved but I can see that if they are instigated enough they may push back
.As far as HOW they were helicoptering, the mom kept hawking at their daughter to say polite words (like please, thank you, etc). The daughter did not seem to have the desire or ability to say any of those things.
I really don't want to do another interview if I can avoid it. Part of me says that I may have caught them at a really bad time and to give them a trial period, but the other part of me (that's flashing in a neon bright sign) says to run as fast as I can the other direction. If I were to back out, what is the most appropriate way to do so without causing a huge uproar? The parents really think they are set with me.......
spud912 02:33 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Hey, I know you've been doing this a long time too and ya know, sometimes things start rocky and end up great and other times they start out perfect and end the opposite so like I said before, the 2 week trial period is a great policy to have.
Plus, I'd rather say I tried and it didn't work out than to not try at all and simply pass because then you will never know what could have been.
Atleast with a trial period, if it doesn't work out well...you know.
Gotcha! Yeah I had a boy whose last day was last Friday....first day at kindergarten today. He was with me for nearly 3 years Hey, I know you've been doing this a long time too and ya know, sometimes things start rocky and end up great and other times they start out perfect and end the opposite so like I said before, the 2 week trial period is a great policy to have.
Plus, I'd rather say I tried and it didn't work out than to not try at all and simply pass because then you will never know what could have been.
Atleast with a trial period, if it doesn't work out well...you know.
. You know you can't say this about every child, but he was extra special to me and I came to truly love him! Anyway, rewind to his interview several years ago and I almost didn't take him.....there were about 10 red flags during his interview . Everything turned out completely ok and mom was just way too honest to the point of over-exaggerating all of his problems. By the way, his mom is my favorite too 
. His little sister will be starting in 2 weeks and she is just the cutest little thing!
spud912 04:24 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by JoseyJo:
With the clarification it does sound like it may have been a bad day. Maybe just email her with your concerns and see what she says? We had a family who we recently interviewed that I saw quite a few red flags for. I was just going to pass, but then I changed my mind and just sent her an email saying that we always want our program to be the best fit for the child and family and that I had some concerns on if we would be the best fit. Then I spelled out everything I was worried about. She emailed back and clarified a lot of things I had a the wrong impression on based on the interview (disciple style, what they wanted out of a daycare, etc) We started dcg last week and she (and her mom) have been a joy
I sent her a fairly lengthy email, but very professional. We will see how it pans out!With the clarification it does sound like it may have been a bad day. Maybe just email her with your concerns and see what she says? We had a family who we recently interviewed that I saw quite a few red flags for. I was just going to pass, but then I changed my mind and just sent her an email saying that we always want our program to be the best fit for the child and family and that I had some concerns on if we would be the best fit. Then I spelled out everything I was worried about. She emailed back and clarified a lot of things I had a the wrong impression on based on the interview (disciple style, what they wanted out of a daycare, etc) We started dcg last week and she (and her mom) have been a joy
countrymom 06:18 PM 07-22-2013
hmm I'm not sure about this one, because why would the godmother come and make that comment about pulling the kid out. I'm wondering if godmother wants to watch the child.
spud912 08:00 PM 07-22-2013
Well since she hasn't technically signed yet, I've kept my ad up on Craigslist just in case. Just now I get a phone call from someone with a much better schedule; the child is the same age. Hmmmmm...........
. Maybe I should do an interview?
. Maybe I should do an interview?
spud912 08:01 PM 07-22-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
hmm I'm not sure about this one, because why would the godmother come and make that comment about pulling the kid out. I'm wondering if godmother wants to watch the child.
I'm sure she would like to, but while she was here she was telling me about her money problems and how a local dealership is "creating" a position just for her (therefore she will no longer be available).hmm I'm not sure about this one, because why would the godmother come and make that comment about pulling the kid out. I'm wondering if godmother wants to watch the child.
countrymom 04:09 AM 07-23-2013
I think the whole situation is wierd, so I would keep the ad up and do other interviews.
EchoMom 05:45 AM 07-23-2013
May I ask, why do you do so many meetings for one family??? It seems you are forfeiting an overwhelming amount of personal time unnecessarily. I do one meeting per family and that is it. The child must be present, and I email them contract/policies beforehand so we can briefly discuss them at the interview. It makes me sad thinking about how much time investment you've put into a potential family and then sometimes they don't work out. 
As far as the family... I think you should wait for a better fit. You've given numerous red flags that give you concern. I think you should listen to that feeling and wait for one that's better, more relaxed.
As far as the family... I think you should wait for a better fit. You've given numerous red flags that give you concern. I think you should listen to that feeling and wait for one that's better, more relaxed.
spud912 07:25 AM 07-23-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
May I ask, why do you do so many meetings for one family??? It seems you are forfeiting an overwhelming amount of personal time unnecessarily. I do one meeting per family and that is it. The child must be present, and I email them contract/policies beforehand so we can briefly discuss them at the interview. It makes me sad thinking about how much time investment you've put into a potential family and then sometimes they don't work out.
As far as the family... I think you should wait for a better fit. You've given numerous red flags that give you concern. I think you should listen to that feeling and wait for one that's better, more relaxed.
I don't normally see a family so much before child care starts.....but the family did not bring their daughter on the first interview so we had to schedule a second. Then the mom insisted that the godmother come the next day with their daughter so she can become better acclimated (although I think they just wanted the godmother to be more comfortable with their decision as well May I ask, why do you do so many meetings for one family??? It seems you are forfeiting an overwhelming amount of personal time unnecessarily. I do one meeting per family and that is it. The child must be present, and I email them contract/policies beforehand so we can briefly discuss them at the interview. It makes me sad thinking about how much time investment you've put into a potential family and then sometimes they don't work out.
As far as the family... I think you should wait for a better fit. You've given numerous red flags that give you concern. I think you should listen to that feeling and wait for one that's better, more relaxed.
). I always schedule a separate time to go over and review the contract in more depth. I know it has eliminated many problems in the past by letting the parents know what I expect . So basically they got twice as much time here than your typical parents.The mom is coming tonight to review the contract and sign. I will be giving them a two week trial period .... if it works and they are fine, then great! If not, then I will move on to someone else
MarinaVanessa 08:18 AM 07-23-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
May I ask, why do you do so many meetings for one family??? It seems you are forfeiting an overwhelming amount of personal time unnecessarily. I do one meeting per family and that is it. The child must be present, and I email them contract/policies beforehand so we can briefly discuss them at the interview. It makes me sad thinking about how much time investment you've put into a potential family and then sometimes they don't work out.
As far as the family... I think you should wait for a better fit. You've given numerous red flags that give you concern. I think you should listen to that feeling and wait for one that's better, more relaxed.
I know that this question was directed at Spud and that she already answered but it sounded like you were curious as to why someone would have multiple meetings with a potential family so I thought I'd chime in because I'm "one of those" May I ask, why do you do so many meetings for one family??? It seems you are forfeiting an overwhelming amount of personal time unnecessarily. I do one meeting per family and that is it. The child must be present, and I email them contract/policies beforehand so we can briefly discuss them at the interview. It makes me sad thinking about how much time investment you've put into a potential family and then sometimes they don't work out.
As far as the family... I think you should wait for a better fit. You've given numerous red flags that give you concern. I think you should listen to that feeling and wait for one that's better, more relaxed.
.I do multiple visits but that's so that I have a better picture of the family dynamics.
The initial phone call is to discuss specifics such as the child's daycare schedule, age, my rate and details about payments etc. This is so that I don't waste their time or they mine and so we are sure that I have space for them and that are comfortable with what I charge.
The first meeting is an interview after hours so that I can focus on the family and their questions. I ask that mom, dad and the child come as well as anyone that will be a regular face (like someone that will pick the child up on a regular basis). You don't know how easily one person a family is close to can damage a client/provider relationship simply because they don't like me, my program or my philosophy so I ask that they come too (grandma, grandpa, mom's best friend, adult siblings etc). This is when I give them the tour and go over my policies. I also keep an eye on how the family interacts with each other, how the parents talk to each other, how they talk to their child etc. This usually gives me a lot of insight on their parenting style and family dynamic (is one parent mild and one strong, do they let their child do whatever, do they correct inappropriate behavior, how do they correct it etc).
If that goes well I schedule a 30 minute "playdate" where one parents and the child comes and stays. I like to let the parent see how I run things and how I handle the daycare kids. I want to know up front whether or not they like how I do things. I also want to see how the parent acts while their child interacts with the other children. And of course I want to see how the child acts towards the other children.
In some cases (usually a first time parent) they want to "try it out first" so that their child can get used to me, the daycare children and the new environment but for that I don't allow the parent to stay and we will do a drop-in for a couple of hours. If that's what it takes to ease a parent's mind then I don't mind.
I suppose for me it's important that I have a good relationship with my families so our parenting styles and techniques for handling children must be similar. I want families to feel comfortable here and I want to have a close good-standing relationship with my families on top of a good business relationship. I'm not talking about being friends here, it's more like I feel that parents that feel better about leaving their children at daycare are better as clients in general. Anyone that has reservations about it or doesn't particularly agree about the way something is done will be on guard and can potentially add stress to the client/provider relationship KWIM? Likewise if I don't like the parents, their parenting style or their child's behavior then I can end up with undue stress. Having two face-to-face meetings minimum helps me weed out clients that I don't feel will mesh with me early on.
For me, I'd rather put in a little more effort in at the beginning and say no to a family or have them say no than end up with a family that strains our client/provider relationship later on. I feel that it saves me more time and stress in the end.
My3cents 09:49 AM 07-23-2013
Originally Posted by JoseyJo:
In the words of the very wise provider.... RUN!!!!
Seriously though- no matter how hard up you are for money (if you are) it is NOT worth getting a child and family that are not a good fit. It will stress you out, keep you from focusing on the other children in care, and may even keep you from getting other, better fitting clients. Believe me, I know from experience!
grapes nailed it......this all the wayIn the words of the very wise provider.... RUN!!!!
Seriously though- no matter how hard up you are for money (if you are) it is NOT worth getting a child and family that are not a good fit. It will stress you out, keep you from focusing on the other children in care, and may even keep you from getting other, better fitting clients. Believe me, I know from experience!
My3cents 09:55 AM 07-23-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Hey, I know you've been doing this a long time too and ya know, sometimes things start rocky and end up great and other times they start out perfect and end the opposite so like I said before, the 2 week trial period is a great policy to have.
Plus, I'd rather say I tried and it didn't work out than to not try at all and simply pass because then you will never know what could have been.
Atleast with a trial period, if it doesn't work out well...you know.
I take back my run comments.....Hey, I know you've been doing this a long time too and ya know, sometimes things start rocky and end up great and other times they start out perfect and end the opposite so like I said before, the 2 week trial period is a great policy to have.
Plus, I'd rather say I tried and it didn't work out than to not try at all and simply pass because then you will never know what could have been.
Atleast with a trial period, if it doesn't work out well...you know.
really you should give it a trial but feeling the way that you do if it is not working during those two weeks be ready to let it go and not hang on for whatever reason. Everyone does deserve a chance. Good luck- Some of my best clients have been those that I thought would never work out.
spud912 10:24 AM 07-23-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I know that this question was directed at Spud and that she already answered but it sounded like you were curious as to why someone would have multiple meetings with a potential family so I thought I'd chime in because I'm "one of those".
I do multiple visits but that's so that I have a better picture of the family dynamics.
The initial phone call is to discuss specifics such as the child's daycare schedule, age, my rate and details about payments etc. This is so that I don't waste their time or they mine and so we are sure that I have space for them and that are comfortable with what I charge.
The first meeting is an interview after hours so that I can focus on the family and their questions. I ask that mom, dad and the child come as well as anyone that will be a regular face (like someone that will pick the child up on a regular basis). You don't know how easily one person a family is close to can damage a client/provider relationship simply because they don't like me, my program or my philosophy so I ask that they come too (grandma, grandpa, mom's best friend, adult siblings etc). This is when I give them the tour and go over my policies. I also keep an eye on how the family interacts with each other, how the parents talk to each other, how they talk to their child etc. This usually gives me a lot of insight on their parenting style and family dynamic (is one parent mild and one strong, do they let their child do whatever, do they correct inappropriate behavior, how do they correct it etc).
If that goes well I schedule a 30 minute "playdate" where one parents and the child comes and stays. I like to let the parent see how I run things and how I handle the daycare kids. I want to know up front whether or not they like how I do things. I also want to see how the parent acts while their child interacts with the other children. And of course I want to see how the child acts towards the other children.
In some cases (usually a first time parent) they want to "try it out first" so that their child can get used to me, the daycare children and the new environment but for that I don't allow the parent to stay and we will do a drop-in for a couple of hours. If that's what it takes to ease a parent's mind then I don't mind.
I suppose for me it's important that I have a good relationship with my families so our parenting styles and techniques for handling children must be similar. I want families to feel comfortable here and I want to have a close good-standing relationship with my families on top of a good business relationship. I'm not talking about being friends here, it's more like I feel that parents that feel better about leaving their children at daycare are better as clients in general. Anyone that has reservations about it or doesn't particularly agree about the way something is done will be on guard and can potentially add stress to the client/provider relationship KWIM? Likewise if I don't like the parents, their parenting style or their child's behavior then I can end up with undue stress. Having two face-to-face meetings minimum helps me weed out clients that I don't feel will mesh with me early on.
For me, I'd rather put in a little more effort in at the beginning and say no to a family or have them say no than end up with a family that strains our client/provider relationship later on. I feel that it saves me more time and stress in the end.
I agree I know that this question was directed at Spud and that she already answered but it sounded like you were curious as to why someone would have multiple meetings with a potential family so I thought I'd chime in because I'm "one of those"
.I do multiple visits but that's so that I have a better picture of the family dynamics.
The initial phone call is to discuss specifics such as the child's daycare schedule, age, my rate and details about payments etc. This is so that I don't waste their time or they mine and so we are sure that I have space for them and that are comfortable with what I charge.
The first meeting is an interview after hours so that I can focus on the family and their questions. I ask that mom, dad and the child come as well as anyone that will be a regular face (like someone that will pick the child up on a regular basis). You don't know how easily one person a family is close to can damage a client/provider relationship simply because they don't like me, my program or my philosophy so I ask that they come too (grandma, grandpa, mom's best friend, adult siblings etc). This is when I give them the tour and go over my policies. I also keep an eye on how the family interacts with each other, how the parents talk to each other, how they talk to their child etc. This usually gives me a lot of insight on their parenting style and family dynamic (is one parent mild and one strong, do they let their child do whatever, do they correct inappropriate behavior, how do they correct it etc).
If that goes well I schedule a 30 minute "playdate" where one parents and the child comes and stays. I like to let the parent see how I run things and how I handle the daycare kids. I want to know up front whether or not they like how I do things. I also want to see how the parent acts while their child interacts with the other children. And of course I want to see how the child acts towards the other children.
In some cases (usually a first time parent) they want to "try it out first" so that their child can get used to me, the daycare children and the new environment but for that I don't allow the parent to stay and we will do a drop-in for a couple of hours. If that's what it takes to ease a parent's mind then I don't mind.
I suppose for me it's important that I have a good relationship with my families so our parenting styles and techniques for handling children must be similar. I want families to feel comfortable here and I want to have a close good-standing relationship with my families on top of a good business relationship. I'm not talking about being friends here, it's more like I feel that parents that feel better about leaving their children at daycare are better as clients in general. Anyone that has reservations about it or doesn't particularly agree about the way something is done will be on guard and can potentially add stress to the client/provider relationship KWIM? Likewise if I don't like the parents, their parenting style or their child's behavior then I can end up with undue stress. Having two face-to-face meetings minimum helps me weed out clients that I don't feel will mesh with me early on.
For me, I'd rather put in a little more effort in at the beginning and say no to a family or have them say no than end up with a family that strains our client/provider relationship later on. I feel that it saves me more time and stress in the end.
. I do have to say.....I would have seen none of the red flags had I not met with the parents more than once. I don't mind 1-2 interviews and a contract appointment. Anything beyond 3 visits is a bit much IMO.
EntropyControlSpecialist 04:29 PM 03-18-2014
Whatever ended up happening?
FCCarmyprovider 12:31 PM 03-19-2014
RUN!
spud912 01:29 PM 03-19-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Whatever ended up happening?
I posted an update shortly thereafter: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...ghlight=updateWhatever ended up happening?
We were not a good fit for each other
.