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tenderhearts 04:12 PM 11-12-2012
Today the 4 month old started and it's been a trying day. I realize it's going to take a good couple of weeks for herself and I to adjust to each other but right off the bat I could already tell she's used to be held and wants to be held most of the time AND she wont nap in the pnp, but she'll sleep in the swing. Any suggestions on how to get her to sleep in the pnp? She literally slept in there for 20 min then 30 min the next nap but she was so fussy that when she fell asleep in the swing I left her and she slept for 1 1/2 hrs. It's going to be a tough road with this group of 2 & 3 yrs olds I hope it all goes well and we adjust. Any ideas or tips?????
cheerfuldom 04:59 PM 11-12-2012
I wouldnt let her sleep in a swing. I would swaddle, put her in a dark room with white noise and thats that. put her on a routine right now. it does help if you and mom are doing the same thing but so many parents dont/wont work with the provider so expect a lot of crying at first.
blandino 05:03 PM 11-12-2012
After dealing with this on my own SO many times, and trying to grin and bear it, assuming that the babies hard transition was my fault. My biggest piece of advice is to speak with the parents about what you are & aren't able to do in a group care setting. Let them know that you are not able to hold the baby all the time, you have to put the baby down asleep and in a pack and play, and that to make it EASIER ON THE BABY (emphasize that part - because it is true), care between home and daycare needs to be on the same page.
I used to think parents may be put off by this - and some are - but they are the ones choosing to put their children in group care where they are not receiving one-on-one care, and at some point they are going to need to face the reality of what that means. But DON'T take all the burden on yourself, I have done it way to many times - and it is NOT WORTH IT !!
If that doesn't seem to help, my honest answer would be to move the pack and play to somewhere private, and allow the baby to fuss to sleep. White noise seems to help too.
I used to think parents may be put off by this - and some are - but they are the ones choosing to put their children in group care where they are not receiving one-on-one care, and at some point they are going to need to face the reality of what that means. But DON'T take all the burden on yourself, I have done it way to many times - and it is NOT WORTH IT !!
If that doesn't seem to help, my honest answer would be to move the pack and play to somewhere private, and allow the baby to fuss to sleep. White noise seems to help too.
blandino 05:07 PM 11-12-2012
I absolutely agree with cheerfulfandom. That's basically what we have had to do.
tenderhearts 06:22 PM 11-12-2012
I agree, I don't want her sleeping in the swing. I told mom how she seemed to have a difficult time in the pnp and she said she thinks it's probablly the new environment which could be but she said well let her cry a minute and see what happens
a minute??? How long is too long to cry for a 4 mo old? I think the last baby I had, I had to let her cry about 15 minutes and it took about a week, but she was more content not being held like this. I DON"T want her in the habit of me holding her all the time because with 5 other kids theres no way, I know mom knows and understands that.
How do you do a schedule with an infant? do you just go by what the baby is doing or do you literally try and put on a specific schedule at 4 mo? What about the 30 min cat naps? do you just let them cry for a bit? I also have made things so much harder on myself in the past, when I first started daycare for about the first 7 years I couldnt stand seeing a baby cry so I literally rocked them to sleep, if they woke up 20 min later I rocked again, it was SO draining and the other kids were put off and I just can't fall back into that, the last 4 babies I've had, they were all so easy.
They said she sleeps in a bassinet still but still by herself, they said they don't even use a swing only because they don't have any where to put one right now.
a minute??? How long is too long to cry for a 4 mo old? I think the last baby I had, I had to let her cry about 15 minutes and it took about a week, but she was more content not being held like this. I DON"T want her in the habit of me holding her all the time because with 5 other kids theres no way, I know mom knows and understands that.How do you do a schedule with an infant? do you just go by what the baby is doing or do you literally try and put on a specific schedule at 4 mo? What about the 30 min cat naps? do you just let them cry for a bit? I also have made things so much harder on myself in the past, when I first started daycare for about the first 7 years I couldnt stand seeing a baby cry so I literally rocked them to sleep, if they woke up 20 min later I rocked again, it was SO draining and the other kids were put off and I just can't fall back into that, the last 4 babies I've had, they were all so easy.
They said she sleeps in a bassinet still but still by herself, they said they don't even use a swing only because they don't have any where to put one right now.
blandino 08:23 PM 11-12-2012
I wouldn't necessarily put a 4 month old on a rigid set schedule, that is the same each day - but I would keep that as a goal for the near future (7/8 months).
I UNDERSTAND MY PHILOSOPHY ISN'T FOR EVERYONE, but this is how I believe. My idea of an infant nap schedule, is when you know they are tired - they need to sleep - so you put them down to sleep. You take charge of their schedule, because you know what is best and what is going to give them stability.
I would try and weed out those 30 min cat naps - by trying to keep the baby up longer - so that when they do fall asleep they are very tired and sleep for longer. I just really dislike cat naps. Honestly, most parents come in telling me their kids take cat naps - but I never see it. Maybe because they are in daycare, and get more excitement and are therefore more tired ?!?
I am going to sound horrible, but some of the worst/fussiest infants have cried for more than 30 minutes before going to sleep (at least at the beginning). We have had some VERY VERY fussy babies.
I UNDERSTAND MY PHILOSOPHY ISN'T FOR EVERYONE, but this is how I believe. My idea of an infant nap schedule, is when you know they are tired - they need to sleep - so you put them down to sleep. You take charge of their schedule, because you know what is best and what is going to give them stability.
I would try and weed out those 30 min cat naps - by trying to keep the baby up longer - so that when they do fall asleep they are very tired and sleep for longer. I just really dislike cat naps. Honestly, most parents come in telling me their kids take cat naps - but I never see it. Maybe because they are in daycare, and get more excitement and are therefore more tired ?!?
I am going to sound horrible, but some of the worst/fussiest infants have cried for more than 30 minutes before going to sleep (at least at the beginning). We have had some VERY VERY fussy babies.
Lyss 08:25 PM 11-12-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I wouldnt let her sleep in a swing. I would swaddle, put her in a dark room with white noise and thats that. put her on a routine right now. it does help if you and mom are doing the same thing but so many parents dont/wont work with the provider so expect a lot of crying at first.
This is what I do as well! The swaddling and a dark room with waterfall 'music' fairly loud was the only thing that worked for my screamer. no swaddling now (11mos) but she still needs the waterfall sounds and a dark room. It took 2 -2 1/2months for her to adjust and stop screaming the whole day.I wouldnt let her sleep in a swing. I would swaddle, put her in a dark room with white noise and thats that. put her on a routine right now. it does help if you and mom are doing the same thing but so many parents dont/wont work with the provider so expect a lot of crying at first.
Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
I agree, I don't want her sleeping in the swing. I told mom how she seemed to have a difficult time in the pnp and she said she thinks it's probablly the new environment which could be but she said well let her cry a minute and see what happens a minute??? How long is too long to cry for a 4 mo old? I think the last baby I had, I had to let her cry about 15 minutes and it took about a week, but she was more content not being held like this. I DON"T want her in the habit of me holding her all the time because with 5 other kids theres no way, I know mom knows and understands that.
How do you do a schedule with an infant? do you just go by what the baby is doing or do you literally try and put on a specific schedule at 4 mo? What about the 30 min cat naps? do you just let them cry for a bit? I also have made things so much harder on myself in the past, when I first started daycare for about the first 7 years I couldnt stand seeing a baby cry so I literally rocked them to sleep, if they woke up 20 min later I rocked again, it was SO draining and the other kids were put off and I just can't fall back into that, the last 4 babies I've had, they were all so easy.
They said she sleeps in a bassinet still but still by herself, they said they don't even use a swing only because they don't have any where to put one right now.
I did more of a "routine" with my infants (I had 2 infants, a week apart), so they knew what to expect next. I follow more of the "EASY schedule" routines (google has good resources) than a structured schedule. I had to work with my DCPs and get them to put my screamer DCG on a routine as well. At first they were all over the place somedays she arrived tired, others wide awake, some days just fed and others starving which made it hard. I worked with them to figure out what worked best for a routine and then we stuck to it (like she always arrives ready to eat and nap), made things better. When it came to CIO for naps she'd cry for about 10 minutes and then be out, which lasted about a month before it became 5 mins then 3 mins, and now she goes down without a peep. I tried the check on her at 3, 5, and 10 min intervals but for this DCG it just made things worse and the crying intensified. I felt terrible (I still do when I remember it) but this for her it worked best that way.I agree, I don't want her sleeping in the swing. I told mom how she seemed to have a difficult time in the pnp and she said she thinks it's probablly the new environment which could be but she said well let her cry a minute and see what happens
a minute??? How long is too long to cry for a 4 mo old? I think the last baby I had, I had to let her cry about 15 minutes and it took about a week, but she was more content not being held like this. I DON"T want her in the habit of me holding her all the time because with 5 other kids theres no way, I know mom knows and understands that.How do you do a schedule with an infant? do you just go by what the baby is doing or do you literally try and put on a specific schedule at 4 mo? What about the 30 min cat naps? do you just let them cry for a bit? I also have made things so much harder on myself in the past, when I first started daycare for about the first 7 years I couldnt stand seeing a baby cry so I literally rocked them to sleep, if they woke up 20 min later I rocked again, it was SO draining and the other kids were put off and I just can't fall back into that, the last 4 babies I've had, they were all so easy.
They said she sleeps in a bassinet still but still by herself, they said they don't even use a swing only because they don't have any where to put one right now.
Is it one of those portable bassinets? Maybe they could bring it a few days and you could slowly transition from it to pnp. Like put her down in it for nap a few times, then start to putting bassinet into pnp once she's aleep (so she wakes up in bassinet in pnp), and then but her in bassinet in pnp to go to sleep, then into just PNP, I had a friend do this with her DD and the crib.