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  #1  
Old 09-10-2013, 02:32 PM
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Default Out of Control Child

Daughter is 6 years old and is in Kindergarden. She has always had behavior problems. But since starting school she will come home and she is out of control! I have had 2 new families start and I am afraid they are going to pull their children from my care because of how she acts when they come to pick up. I don't know what to do! I looked into the after school program her school offers but it doesn't start until January. Help!
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Old 09-10-2013, 02:35 PM
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Until you have comments from the other members here are some previous threads on Pick Up Behavior: http://daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=pick+up+behavior

Separation Anxiety: http://daycare.com/forum/tags.php?ta...ration+anxiety
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Old 09-10-2013, 03:05 PM
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is she hungry or tired.
you see, I don't play games. If your going to be naughty after school then you can go to your room. She's doing it for attention. Do you talk to her when she comes home, or do you just tell her to wait. My kids are always telling me about school, try listening to 4 kids at once and 2 daycare kids who want to tell me about their day, its crazy. I also believe that for bad behavior their needs to be consequences.
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Old 09-10-2013, 03:11 PM
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Does she have diagnosed behavior problems or just behavior problems? My response would differ depending. Can you give examples of "behavior problems" in general and what she is doing now?
Thanks! in the meantime
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Old 09-10-2013, 04:30 PM
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I posted last week about a parent thinking my child might have autism. So right now no diagnosis. She can become very violent. Every time I send her to her room she will have a complete meltdown of screaming bloody murder hitting and kicking the door/walls. She does the same thing for time out. Every time I discipline her (multiple times a day) without fail she will have a meltdown. When she has meltdowns she will hold her throat and say she can't breathe then hold her breath until she turns colors. I have been in the child care business for over 10 years and I have never seen a child act like she does, my other 2 children do not act this way. It's to the point where I am loosing my mind!
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Old 09-10-2013, 04:36 PM
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I'd tell the parents that a child that self harms warrants an immediate call to EMS/law enforcement. There is no way I'd assume responsibility for a child who.chokes themselves, especially while I had other children in my care.

No joke, I'd be calling 911 and letting the parents sort it out OFF your premises.

Then is term and suggest they get her some serious psychological help immediately.
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:17 PM
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I'd tell the parents that a child that self harms warrants an immediate call to EMS/law enforcement. There is no way I'd assume responsibility for a child who.chokes themselves, especially while I had other children in my care.

No joke, I'd be calling 911 and letting the parents sort it out OFF your premises.

Then is term and suggest they get her some serious psychological help immediately.
Willow- it is HER child!
Wow- there is def something going on... Have you talked to your Ped about it? The good news about holding your breath is if your good enough to do it once you pass out you breath again- so she can't do permanent damage... But the fact that she is doing it -in itself- is a behavior concern.
You need intervention for her... If you have talked to the Ped and they didnt follow through you need to schedule a consult and explain how severe the behavior is! Sounds like she needs help beyond what you can manage-
As for dc parents I would talk to them and share what you are doing to try and control the behavior. Also what you are doing to get treatment and what you do to protect their children while they are in your care. Generally I would t suggest talking to families about personal issues but because of her age she is part of the group.
Have you done anything that does seem to work with her? Maybe we can build on that
Ill look at the other post again too - maybe that will help refresh my memory...
I encourage you to register- your a provider and need ideas and support-
in the meantime!! Hang in there!
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:20 PM
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It is my own child who is having the problems. She has never experienced abuse and has been receiving help from professionals since she was a toddler.
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Familycare71 View Post
Willow- it is HER child!
Wow- there is def something going on... Have you talked to your Ped about it? The good news about holding your breath is if your good enough to do it once you pass out you breath again- so she can't do permanent damage... But the fact that she is doing it -in itself- is a behavior concern.
You need intervention for her... If you have talked to the Ped and they didnt follow through you need to schedule a consult and explain how severe the behavior is! Sounds like she needs help beyond what you can manage-
As for dc parents I would talk to them and share what you are doing to try and control the behavior. Also what you are doing to get treatment and what you do to protect their children while they are in your care. Generally I would t suggest talking to families about personal issues but because of her age she is part of the group.
Have you done anything that does seem to work with her? Maybe we can build on that
Ill look at the other post again too - maybe that will help refresh my memory...
I encourage you to register- your a provider and need ideas and support-
in the meantime!! Hang in there!

So that's the biggest flub I've ever made


OP, I still think what she's doing is bad enough that like Familycare suggested, you need some serious intervention. I wouldn't wait, and would call her doc first thing in the morning to get the ball rolling.

If you can keep the other kids in your care safe I'm not sure I would share what's going on with your daycare families. Just as you wouldn't share with one family about another, your family is entitled to the same privacy. If however it's getting to the point where she is endangering others is say a sit down and reevaluation of the overall situation with your husband is in order. You may need to either sort out some sort of therapeutic daycare elsewhere for her, or maybe even sort out if continuing to do daycare at this point and time is reasonable.

I wouldn't take an appointment a month down the road, get one scheduled asap, within the next couple of days would be ideal.

I do wish you the best of luck, these sorts of things with our own kids are never easy to cope with.
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:27 PM
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It is my own child who is having the problems. She has never experienced abuse and has been receiving help from professionals since she was a toddler.
What is their take on her escalation?

Is she on meds that may need to be adjusted?
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:29 PM
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I have been talking to her ped since she was a toddler. When she ran out of options she referred me to someone else, next person did everything they could do referred me to next person and so on. We have exhausted all option in our home town. Called her ped last week and now she is referring us to someone a few hours away. There is something going on but no one can figure out what it is. The appointment isn't for another 3 months so trying to figure out what to do until then. I will try to talk to the parents and I hope they understand!
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:33 PM
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No medication. She has tried all ADHD medication for her age group. All of them had the same side effects for her. Severe depression to the point where I had to take her to the hospital. She may have some ADHD in her but from a lot of research children with ADHD to not respond to medicine like that unless that's not what they have and it's something else. I can't get in any sooner than 3 months.
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:47 PM
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Sending lots of good thoughts, prayers and hope for you and your family. Sounds like you are really going through a lot.
Does her school have a therapist? Maybe you can call your insurance company for a listing of top therapists. Sometimes it just takes the right doctor to rePly look into the situation.
Really feel for you. Wish I had more advice.
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:56 PM
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No medication. She has tried all ADHD medication for her age group. All of them had the same side effects for her. Severe depression to the point where I had to take her to the hospital. She may have some ADHD in her but from a lot of research children with ADHD to not respond to medicine like that unless that's not what they have and it's something else. I can't get in any sooner than 3 months.
Oh my... Sometimes a reaction like that can indicate bi-polar. Has that ever been looked at? Her behavior could be consistent with early onset as well. Drs don't like diagnosing it early but sometimes it is done.
Does she want to harm herself? Ik you mentioned choking herself but originally I was thinking of it as a power struggle... But if she is a threat to herself- and I know this will be hard to hear- you may want to take her to emergency phyc. Department. Ik around my area for severe situations it is the best way to get treatment immediately. Obviously I don't know if it is to that extent but it is an option to get her treatment- esp if she seems like she wants to self harm.
How is she in school? Is she holding it together there?
I think I would still talk to parents- you don't have to get into every detail just the basics so they know you know and are on it.
Please take my advice as a person with some experience with children with mood disorders and ASD - but little info.
Can you be more specific as to what exact behaviors you need help with and when they happen? Maybe we can figure out some things to try in the meantime
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:56 PM
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So that's the biggest flub I've ever made


OP, I still think what she's doing is bad enough that like Familycare suggested, you need some serious intervention. I wouldn't wait, and would call her doc first thing in the morning to get the ball rolling.

If you can keep the other kids in your care safe I'm not sure I would share what's going on with your daycare families. Just as you wouldn't share with one family about another, your family is entitled to the same privacy. If however it's getting to the point where she is endangering others is say a sit down and reevaluation of the overall situation with your husband is in order. You may need to either sort out some sort of therapeutic daycare elsewhere for her, or maybe even sort out if continuing to do daycare at this point and time is reasonable.

I wouldn't take an appointment a month down the road, get one scheduled asap, within the next couple of days would be ideal.

I do wish you the best of luck, these sorts of things with our own kids are never easy to cope with.
It happens
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:58 PM
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Her school doesn't have a "therapist" they have a guidance counselor that she sees. We have tried multiple different therapists around the area. We like the one she is seeing now. She is very nice but so far no improvement and no new different approaches on how to help her. We have drained all of our options in our home town. There is something going on but no one can figure it out
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:21 PM
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We thought it might be bi polar but no doctor around here will give that diagnosis until they are much older. She has had a few problems in school but nothing like what happens at home. When she was on the ADHD medicine we had to take her to the emergency Phyc department. We were very afraid she would hurt herself. Now that she's off it she hasn't had any serious self harm problems. I have contacted them about what she does off them but they said its not enough to admit her.

Behaviors:
She is constantly humming, when ever she is eating, playing or anything else through out the day
She is a leader and a very bossy one at that. She hasn't ever physically harmed another child. It's your doing to do it my way or I'm going to scream at you and tell you, your not my friend anymore, I don't like you exc. Teasing another child to the point where the child will lash back at her. (I don't blame them!)
When she is home is can handle her through out the day for the most part. It is the pick ups that is the worst!
Drop offs are usually pretty quick. So not too bad
Pick ups: screaming/yelling at the parent, talking so loud parent can't hear how their child did. Running around throwing toys, hitting walls, kicking doors, running outside so I have to chase after her and leave the parent to watch the dck. This doesn't happen too often anymore because I have stressed to come in and lock the top lock so she can't get out.
For one long time parent she is very comfortable with so this parent sees the worst of her actions (the one that suggested she get tested). Most times my daughter and her son get along pretty well. Bring the mom and us 3 together and the madness starts. He has behavior issues as well. I don't see it just his family, I know that his behavior problems are due to the mother not being an active parent in his life.
Everytime I disapline I have to be ready for the storm. Which still happens with out disapline also.
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:27 PM
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OP, if she's at school and she's told no, does she melt down? Does she melt down at all at school??

Has she spent time with other family maybe a grandparent or aunt and if so, does she melt down there?
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:41 PM
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many kids especially those with any behavior problems will crash after school for several weeks especially in Kindergarten It wears them out. Plus they worked hard at being good all day and then take it out on those they love.

We moved dgd bedtime up to 7: 30 during school and it helped a lot. Bus comes at 7:10 in the morning.

What will help??? maybe a quiet place she can go to decompress but others need to get out and run. My dn started swim team and swam after school. every child is different. We have one of those small jogging tramolines dgd jumps on it and it calms her down.
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:41 PM
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I am glad you know what to look for as far as self harm.
She is Blessed to have a Mom who is doing everything possible for her! . Remember that- it is so hard to have behavior issues in your child and it can feel like you just keep failing- but you aren't! You are doing all you can to get her the help she needs
It sounds like to a certain extent right now it may have to be moment to moment. Do you have a solid structure for your home? It seems to me that is the one thing that helps across the board no matter what the difficulty is.
Are pick ups at a set time? Could you set her up with a favorite show that is only used for that time- or maybe a computer game? Something that may engage her enough to get you through pick up?
What is her currency?? The thing that motivates her?
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:45 PM
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I talked to her teacher on Friday and so far (as of Friday) she has had no reason to disapline her for doing something wrong. Today was PJ day at school, I was unaware that I needed to send her in PJs. Her teacher called me shortly after school started saying that she was having a meltdown because she didn't have PJs on like the other kids. I could hear her in the background throwing a fit. I told the teacher to tell her I would be there soon to bring them. In the mean time she had to go to the office because she wouldn't calm down. From past experience she is so shy, nervous, anxious in large group settings she usually will stay quiet and hidden. Large groups of people make her extremely uncomfortable. Once she starts to feel comfortable at school I'm afraid she will start doing the same things there that she does here.

My family is, in the nicest terms messed up. I don't get much help. My (and my husbands family) are very upset with us for seeking help with our daughter. So right now we don't have family.
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:49 PM
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I talked to her teacher on Friday and so far (as of Friday) she has had no reason to disapline her for doing something wrong. Today was PJ day at school, I was unaware that I needed to send her in PJs. Her teacher called me shortly after school started saying that she was having a meltdown because she didn't have PJs on like the other kids. I could hear her in the background throwing a fit. I told the teacher to tell her I would be there soon to bring them. In the mean time she had to go to the office because she wouldn't calm down. From past experience she is so shy, nervous, anxious in large group settings she usually will stay quiet and hidden. Large groups of people make her extremely uncomfortable. Once she starts to feel comfortable at school I'm afraid she will start doing the same things there that she does here.

My family is, in the nicest terms messed up. I don't get much help. My (and my husbands family) are very upset with us for seeking help with our daughter. So right now we don't have family.
Ugh!!! Why people would think getting help for your child is a bad thing I will never understand!
Thankfully she is maintaining at school now- may be why she is struggling more at home tho - it take a ton of work to control themselves and they lose it once they feel safe.
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Old 09-10-2013, 06:56 PM
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Her bed time is 7:15 and she will wake up once about midnight for a drink and then go back to sleep until my alarm goes off at 7 am. She is getting a lot of sleep for her age. I was blessed with how great of a sleeper she is! My youngest...didn't sleep through the night until 15 months! My daycare is extremely structured not only for the day acre kids but also for her because it did help. She comes home with her meltdowns but she doesn't want to have any relaxation until the daycare kids leave because she wants to spend time with me and her old daycare friends before they leave. She doesn't realize that her meltdowns make her friends not what to spend time with her.

As for pick up times they are structured but vary across the board for each family. We have 5 pick ups from 4:00 to 5:10. Getting her involved (in another room) with TV or the iPad doesn't work. Because she wants to be with everyone. I don't want the TV on when parents pick up because I don't want them to think that all they do it watch TV. Which they don't. We may watch 1 episode bi weekly.

A few things motivate her such as her blanket/bunny (stuffed animal) which she has a HUGE attachment too! I was afraid I would have to send them to school with her. Thankfully we don't. We have tried taking those away. She will first throw a fit but then she could care less. Same with other things that motivate her. She will first have a meltdown then she couldn't care that the item was gone or missing. Which doesn't help with disaplining.
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:02 PM
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Ugh!!! Why people would think getting help for your child is a bad thing I will never understand!
Thankfully she is maintaining at school now- may be why she is struggling more at home tho - it take a ton of work to control themselves and they lose it once they feel safe.

I don't get that either. Trying to do what is best and not ignore it then hope it just gets better and not worse! We have both lost our families over the behavior issues, plus lost our friends due to it also. I am to the point of needing a therapist myself because all of the stress/loss.
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:22 PM
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Is she affectionate? By that I mean does she like to spend time with certain people, enjoy doing for others, is she open with showing feelings other than anger, or does she seem pretty focused on self?
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:40 PM
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I don't get that either. Trying to do what is best and not ignore it then hope it just gets better and not worse! We have both lost our families over the behavior issues, plus lost our friends due to it also. I am to the point of needing a therapist myself because all of the stress/loss.
therapy is never a bad thing for parents! ESP ones with kids of special needs!!
I understand not wanting the tv on during pick up BUT would that help distract her? If it would it may be the lesser of two issues. I am sure of you explain to parents that during pick up, until you get some additional tools, the tv being on helps dd behave and the. Reassure them that it is not used on a regular basis.
I would say taking away a "lovey" wouldn't be a good idea anyway but it is interesting she doesn't really care in the long run.
Basically what I'm getting is no matter what your trying it doesn't have any lasting effect past a fit from her...
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:42 PM
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She can be affectionate but not very often. She won't help others unless she benefits in some way. She won't go and do something nice for someone else. Very focused on her self. The emotions she shows is anger or the emotional meltdown after the anger. During the emotional meltdown she will sometimes cry and say she wants to cuddle with me other than that she doesn't want to cuddle with me or anyone. If someone comes up to her from the front or behind to pick her up or hug her without warning she will freak out. Kick and scream until you put her down. If you give her warning she will do ok.
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:44 PM
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therapy is never a bad thing for parents! ESP ones with kids of special needs!!
I understand not wanting the tv on during pick up BUT would that help distract her? If it would it may be the lesser of two issues. I am sure of you explain to parents that during pick up, until you get some additional tools, the tv being on helps dd behave and the. Reassure them that it is not used on a regular basis.
I would say taking away a "lovey" wouldn't be a good idea anyway but it is interesting she doesn't really care in the long run.
Basically what I'm getting is no matter what your trying it doesn't have any lasting effect past a fit from her...
Nothing works after the fit is over. I will talk to the parents and see what they say.
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Old 09-10-2013, 08:21 PM
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You don't have to share but I'm wondering if ODD or RAD has ever been suggested. She doesn't sound autistic in the sense that she seems to have some level of control.

Is definitely start inquiring about that at her next appointment. She has several of the most prominent symptoms of both.
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Old 09-10-2013, 08:33 PM
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She was evaluated for ODD after the ADHD but we were told that she didn't fit the "scale". I have never heard of RAD?
Honestly I have no idea what's going on anymore!
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Old 09-10-2013, 08:47 PM
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Reactive Attachment Disorder just very briefly - http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_...sorder_85.aspx

I still think ODD and conduct disorder are also very real possibilities. Hopefully with this new professional you'll get a very good second opinion and some great therapy options.
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Old 09-11-2013, 06:26 AM
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do you have a childrens treatment center, when she's in her mood bring her there or bring her to the hospital and have her immediately admitted. Sometimes you have to take drastic measures.

also, call a child shrink. they can help you. Your dd doesn't sound like adhd but more on the lines of anger issues and she doesn't know how to express herself.

I have had a boy who used a stress ball when he was angry. to me, it sounds like your child gets mad when she doesn't get her way and she wants to be the boss. Have you tried when you discipline her to have her sit on your lap and you wrap your arms around her, kind of like a saftey thing.

also, I would document for one week everything that sets her off. Maybe its what she is eating, or maybe she is hungry after school. Maybe can she take a nap after school. What is the age difference between her and your other children.
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Old 09-11-2013, 07:46 AM
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Ok, I am just throwing this out there, but have you looked into dietary changes?

I have heard anecdotal evidence that some children's behavior changes dramatically when certain additives such as dyes, corn syrup, or gluten is removed. Apparently, there are no conclusive studies, but it might be worth a try to eliminate the most famous culprits and see if there's any improvement.

http://www.cspinet.org/nah/3_00/diet_behavior.html

Have you been to a neuropsychologist? My close friend's daughter had severe behavior issues as a young child, but ended up getting comprehensive testing done. They ended up diagnosing her with OCD. She was diagnosed at 8 or so, but at 4 and 5, she still threw a lot of tantrums. The reason turned out to be that the OCD frustrated her so much, she would loose it.

An example would be that at 4 or so, she still had trouble getting her shoes on. When her mother offered to help, she'd say no. She HAD to do it herself. But, a half hour later, tears and throwing shoes and major meltdowns; and they'd all be a wreck.

She also HAD to be first going up the stairs, or through a doorway, etc. It SEEMED like she was just super-bossy, but she NEEDED to be the first one.

Once she was diagnosed with the OCD, they reluctantly put her on a low dose of Paxil. Her obsession with perceived poison in all the food made her loose 20 pounds over a few months, and so my friend "caved" and decided to try medication. After a few days, it was like someone flipped a switch.

So, now she's 15, and she's a bright, quirky young lady. She is still on medication, but at her age, she's much more aware of her condition and can manage the behaviors as well.

I'm telling you all this because ther e is hope! Keep looking for answers, and you will find it!
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Old 09-11-2013, 07:54 AM
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I just thought of something else. Can you make a deal with her, that if she plays nicely during pick ups, she can earn 10 minutes of one-on-one with mommy as soon as the other kids go home?

You will play whatever game SHE wants, HER rules, for TEN minutes! Then, tell her exactly what she has to do to earn that. Whenever a parent comes in, she has to go sit at the table and color (or another specific activity).

During her one-on-one time, make sure there's no interruptions, even if it means parking your other children in front of a screen for that 10 minutes. Go in her room with her and let her be in charge for that long.

If she even messes up a little, though, she doesn't get the special time. She sounds like a smart little girl and she will push to see if you cave.
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Old 09-11-2013, 08:06 AM
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Have some adult stay with her in another room to be entertained from 4 to 5 during pick up times
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Old 09-11-2013, 08:36 AM
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I have started keeping a diary of her behavior so when she is seen in 3 moths they can have a better look at what's going on. We have changed her diet several times hoping that would help. One of our other children has Celiacs disease so she has been on a gluten free diet for a few months now also excluding all dyes.

We need a referral to see any specialist. I can call her ped to see if that might help and if maybe we can get in sooner to see a neuropsychologist than the specialist a few hours away. So far she hasn't been evaluated for OCD. I never thought of that because she doesn't count things a certain number of times exc. I will absolutely keep that in mind when I talk to them!

I have tried giving her rewards for being good during pick up time. I will remind her right before I open the door but if pick up time lasts more than 2-3 minutes then its like she completely forgets. Once they leave I will tell her you lost out on your reward. Sometimes she will be upset but most of the time she doesn't care.

I don't have another adult here during pick up time for someone to take her to another room
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Old 09-11-2013, 09:02 AM
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What if you gave her a job?? If you need to make some up. It would help her feel in control and would help her focus on something while pick ups are going on-
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Old 09-11-2013, 10:13 AM
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I read through the whole post and first I want to say I have so much compassion for you and your situation. You are doing the best you can for her!

This sounds so very like my son when he was young. He's now 15 and has thankfully "grown out" of most of it. Many people thought he had ODD however he really had SPD. Sensory Processing Disorder. He was sensory seeking but couldn't detect when he'd had enough and would end up in total meltdown when he was over stimulated. Oh the tantrums we withstood between the ages of 2 and 9!

Now that he's bigger he can control the situations he feels overstimulated in and can avoid things he doesn't like.

Maybe look into SPD with your daughter? I know there is physical therapy the can get that helps tremendously.
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Old 09-11-2013, 10:38 AM
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is she hungry or tired.
you see, I don't play games. If your going to be naughty after school then you can go to your room. She's doing it for attention. Do you talk to her when she comes home, or do you just tell her to wait. My kids are always telling me about school, try listening to 4 kids at once and 2 daycare kids who want to tell me about their day, its crazy. I also believe that for bad behavior their needs to be consequences.


logical consequences are easy for a 6yr old to understand so whatever her reasons, she has to understand that behavior is not appropriate and will not be tolerated
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Old 09-11-2013, 10:45 AM
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I just want to add that I have kids of my own and at times, out of jealousy or frustration, they too tent to misbehave, now I love them and I understand their reasons to act the way they do, but for me to do anything about it they need to first correct their behavior....first you behave and then we talk about whatever it is that's bothering you, and that is something I make sure all of the kids in my daycare learn too
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Old 09-11-2013, 02:33 PM
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I read through the whole post and first I want to say I have so much compassion for you and your situation. You are doing the best you can for her!

This sounds so very like my son when he was young. He's now 15 and has thankfully "grown out" of most of it. Many people thought he had ODD however he really had SPD. Sensory Processing Disorder. He was sensory seeking but couldn't detect when he'd had enough and would end up in total meltdown when he was over stimulated. Oh the tantrums we withstood between the ages of 2 and 9!

Now that he's bigger he can control the situations he feels overstimulated in and can avoid things he doesn't like.

Maybe look into SPD with your daughter? I know there is physical therapy the can get that helps tremendously.

Thank you so much! I talked to the daycare parents today explaining that I will need to take a day off for an evaluation. Unfortunately they weren't very understanding. Taking the day off wasn't the issue since I rarely use my days off. It was the evaluation part. One of my new parents is a special needs teacher at a high school. Out of any of the parents I thought he would be the most understanding.
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Old 09-11-2013, 05:15 PM
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This may be far out there, but she reminds me a little of my dd before she was diagnosed. Several things were causing her meltdowns and behavior issues. She slept fairly well but after a sleep study we learned she wasnt sleeping deep enough which is why she woke in the middle of the night and seemed to be annoyed so easily. Melatonin and later clonidine helped her sleep better and also calmed her enough in the daytime that ABA therapy and OT was beneficial. Also we learned that their were sensory issues. Certain types of clothes that she wore (denim, anything scratchy or lose fitting) seemed to also be a culprit. Leggings, cotton material helped. We also started her on a sensory diet (not food, just activities to give input) to give her constant sensory input. I am no therapist, but would be happy to share all that it entails if you would like to try it. We used a balance board, bodysox(spandex type body suit to give sensory input), small trampoline, weighted vest for therapy and weighted blanket for relaxing/calming(I wasn't comfortable using it for her to sleep with). We also used a behavior method with behavior bucks. She used them to earn T.V./computer time, special one-on-one time, toys out of our "home store"(a container filled with small squishy fidget toys, play-doh, bubbles,extra sensory box time coupons, and a few other things she liked). During this time she was labeled ADHD and on the spectrum, her pedi and psychologist also felt like she had ODD. I know this is all very stressful for you and for her as well . She is really blessed to have a mom like you and I pray things get better. I'm sorry that your families are not as understanding as you hoped they would be, but stay strong and keep pushing for an answer. This is a wonderful place for you to come to for support as well as just to vent.
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Old 09-11-2013, 05:32 PM
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Thank you so much! I talked to the daycare parents today explaining that I will need to take a day off for an evaluation. Unfortunately they weren't very understanding. Taking the day off wasn't the issue since I rarely use my days off. It was the evaluation part. One of my new parents is a special needs teacher at a high school. Out of any of the parents I thought he would be the most understanding.
Really!? I'm mad for you!!
How when they are seeing the behavior are they not understanding to you wanting to find a solution and cause for it??
hang in there!!!
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Old 09-11-2013, 09:06 PM
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Sorry hectic day! Our church classes start tonight. Which is really my only break from kiddos. I get to read/crochet exc in quiet for 90 minutes. So glad Summer is over so church is back in sessions. First day back didn't turn out so great, she lasted 30 minutes.

At this point I'm more hurt than angry at the daycare parents. In a few days I will be angry

I am very interested in hearing more about the sensory disorder!
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Old 09-11-2013, 09:29 PM
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This may be far out there, but she reminds me a little of my dd before she was diagnosed. Several things were causing her meltdowns and behavior issues. She slept fairly well but after a sleep study we learned she wasnt sleeping deep enough which is why she woke in the middle of the night and seemed to be annoyed so easily. Melatonin and later clonidine helped her sleep better and also calmed her enough in the daytime that ABA therapy and OT was beneficial. Also we learned that their were sensory issues. Certain types of clothes that she wore (denim, anything scratchy or lose fitting) seemed to also be a culprit. Leggings, cotton material helped. We also started her on a sensory diet (not food, just activities to give input) to give her constant sensory input. I am no therapist, but would be happy to share all that it entails if you would like to try it. We used a balance board, bodysox(spandex type body suit to give sensory input), small trampoline, weighted vest for therapy and weighted blanket for relaxing/calming(I wasn't comfortable using it for her to sleep with). We also used a behavior method with behavior bucks. She used them to earn T.V./computer time, special one-on-one time, toys out of our "home store"(a container filled with small squishy fidget toys, play-doh, bubbles,extra sensory box time coupons, and a few other things she liked). During this time she was labeled ADHD and on the spectrum, her pedi and psychologist also felt like she had ODD. I know this is all very stressful for you and for her as well . She is really blessed to have a mom like you and I pray things get better. I'm sorry that your families are not as understanding as you hoped they would be, but stay strong and keep pushing for an answer. This is a wonderful place for you to come to for support as well as just to vent.
There is an article I have read about a little boy who had such big tonsils that he had sleep apnea and never went into REM sleep. His mother specifically mentioned that he was a great sleeper, no matter how bad his behavior was. He was diagnosed as autistic, just because of the effects of no REM sleep.

It seems to me that this could very likely be a contender. Especially since you said she sleeps well. To me that would be her body trying to make up for the poor quality of sleep by getting extra time sleeping.
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Old 09-12-2013, 04:07 AM
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My heart goes out to you, as your daughter sounds much like my daughter did at that age. They initially diagnosed her with ADD, and the meds made her even more wild.

Daycare transition times (such as pick up time) were horrible. She would interfere, say inappropriate things to parents or try to 'put me on the spot' by asking me for something while they were there. She struggled in school and then was finally diagnosed with Asperger's disorder in the third grade. Aspergers can look really different in girls. Sensory overload is usually at the root of her meltdowns or simply not getting what she wants.

Aspergers is no longer called 'Aspergers', but Autism Spectrum Disorder. It looks nothing like 'Autism' as people with Aspergers tend to have amazing intelligence and speech and not as many of the outward characteristics. They do tend to have obsessive interests though, my daughter would become obsessed with a particular topic (ie dinosaurs) and learn and collect everything there is to know about that topic.

Throughout the years, she was also diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety and 'mild' Bi-Polar tendencies. They can co-mingle with each other.

I agree it could be the start of conduct disorder or Oppositional Defiant Disorder, but she is pretty young for that. I am not saying it is Aspergers, but certainly something to have checked out.

What I ended up doing during pick up times was to have her sit at the table and do a project of some kind, or have a little goodie bag with small reward items and if she sits still and is calm during pick up times, she gets a reward. I don't know if that will work and maybe you have already tried that.

I really feel for you; I used to feel terrible that I had to hide my own child from my daycare parents for fear I would lose families if they saw or heard her behavior. It can be so difficult.
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Old 09-12-2013, 07:06 AM
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Oh yeah, I forgot to say my own child also had lots of sensory issues; she would get upset at any unexpected touch, fire alarms, alarms or buzzers of any kind, immunizations or blood draws, textures etc.
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Old 09-12-2013, 07:15 AM
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Oh yeah, I forgot to say my own child also had lots of sensory issues; she would get upset at any unexpected touch, fire alarms, alarms or buzzers of any kind, immunizations or blood draws, textures etc.
This sounds a lot like her!! I got the paperwork for her evaluation! Oh my goodness there is so much! It will take me at least 3 days to get it all filled out!
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Old 09-12-2013, 07:19 AM
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This sounds a lot like her!! I got the paperwork for her evaluation! Oh my goodness there is so much! It will take me at least 3 days to get it all filled out!
But that's good! I hate when they have such short forms and you can't possibly fit all pertinent info on there!
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Old 09-12-2013, 09:51 AM
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http://sensorysmarts.com/sensory_diet_activities.html This is a link to some info on sensory diet activities and more info about it as well. I was trying to upload a few pics of the things I have here that are geared towards sensory but my camera and computer are not cooperating with each other at the moment. sorry. That is really good that you have a ton of forms to fill out honestly. When my daughter had some of her assessments done I found myself feeling overwhelmed because the paperwork did not ask for a lot of background info/ concerns. All was well though. Hopefully this link will give you some ideas to try and help until you can get a definitive answer( not saying its sensory issues). I only have my experiences to go on, but please let me know if you need more info or have any questions, and if possible look into a sleep study, at this point I don't think it would hurt just to see if shes really sleeping well.
Forgot to add.. The sensory diet for my dd started out with therapeutic brushing (deep massage with a surgical type brush), ( definitely recommend being trained, as every childs response is different). She received some type of sensory input at least every 2 hrs or so for 15-30 minutes. The length of time really depended on her reactions to the input and her mood She played in a sensory bin sorting puzzles or naming letters, did a lot of crashing on tons of pillows soft things on the floor, jumped on a trampoline, played on a balance board, crawled through a tunnel, swinging, running, carried a backpack with toys for an imaginary walk (not too heavy, walked through our house to wherever she imagined us to go) finger painted on sandpaper, weighted lap pad or blanket while coloring, reading or doing a craft that may have required sitting, and this list goes on. HTH

Last edited by Luvnmykidz; 09-12-2013 at 10:05 AM. Reason: forgot to add info...
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Old 09-12-2013, 10:45 AM
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We did the brushing and joint compression for my child too. It really took the edge off of the auditory issues, but not so much of the tactile defensiveness.

I am glad you are having an eval done. There are so many possibilities, but it does sound like she is overwhelmed at times, and then the behaviors come out.
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Old 09-12-2013, 01:35 PM
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I have read all of your comments and all of the responses and based on what I've read I don't get the impression that there is anything medically wrong with you daughter. In my opinion you need to put your daughter across your lap and give her a good old fashion butt spanking! You need to take control of your house and stop allowing a 6 year old to run it! You're the adult, and it's time you start acting like one. Everyone is afraid of her and she knows it! She's not going to stop until you stop her. Why should she stop when she has everyone under her control! How are you going to operate a day care and manage other people's kids if you can't manage your own child? You better take control now before it's too late, because the older she gets, the worse it will get!
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Old 09-12-2013, 04:06 PM
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I have read all of your comments and all of the responses and based on what I've read I don't get the impression that there is anything medically wrong with you daughter. In my opinion you need to put your daughter across your lap and give her a good old fashion butt spanking! You need to take control of your house and stop allowing a 6 year old to run it! You're the adult, and it's time you start acting like one. Everyone is afraid of her and she knows it! She's not going to stop until you stop her. Why should she stop when she has everyone under her control! How are you going to operate a day care and manage other people's kids if you can't manage your own child? You better take control now before it's too late, because the older she gets, the worse it will get!
Wow. That is quiet rude. You should have stopped after stating she should spank her child. You are entitled to your opinion but you don't need to bring someone down farther than they already are. I don't know if it is due to parenting or a medical condition, no one does right now. But either way you are implying that she is a bad mother and a bad daycare provider. It sounds to me like she is trying to manage the situation.
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Old 09-12-2013, 04:48 PM
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I have read all of your comments and all of the responses and based on what I've read I don't get the impression that there is anything medically wrong with you daughter. In my opinion you need to put your daughter across your lap and give her a good old fashion butt spanking! You need to take control of your house and stop allowing a 6 year old to run it! You're the adult, and it's time you start acting like one. Everyone is afraid of her and she knows it! She's not going to stop until you stop her. Why should she stop when she has everyone under her control! How are you going to operate a day care and manage other people's kids if you can't manage your own child? You better take control now before it's too late, because the older she gets, the worse it will get!
This child may not have medical issues, but may well have emotional/mental issues. Without having never met the child, how can you say what the problem is?
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Old 09-12-2013, 05:11 PM
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I have read all of your comments and all of the responses and based on what I've read I don't get the impression that there is anything medically wrong with you daughter. In my opinion you need to put your daughter across your lap and give her a good old fashion butt spanking! You need to take control of your house and stop allowing a 6 year old to run it! You're the adult, and it's time you start acting like one. Everyone is afraid of her and she knows it! She's not going to stop until you stop her. Why should she stop when she has everyone under her control! How are you going to operate a day care and manage other people's kids if you can't manage your own child? You better take control now before it's too late, because the older she gets, the worse it will get!

Wow- that could have been said much better than the way you chose to say it! None of us know this mother or this child- but what I read is a Mom who is trying... And I give her a ton of credit for that!
Maybe try using your manors next time! That was just uncalled for-
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Old 09-12-2013, 05:19 PM
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I have read all of your comments and all of the responses and based on what I've read I don't get the impression that there is anything medically wrong with you daughter. In my opinion you need to put your daughter across your lap and give her a good old fashion butt spanking! You need to take control of your house and stop allowing a 6 year old to run it! You're the adult, and it's time you start acting like one. Everyone is afraid of her and she knows it! She's not going to stop until you stop her. Why should she stop when she has everyone under her control! How are you going to operate a day care and manage other people's kids if you can't manage your own child? You better take control now before it's too late, because the older she gets, the worse it will get!
Ahahahahahhahahaaaa! Hilarious! I guess you have never had a child with a disorder? Count yourself lucky. I promise, I tried getting angry at my SPD son before he was diagnosed. I tried getting very firm. It does not work. Period.

If you had read the OP you would have seen this mother has tried using consequences to curb the behavior and it is not helping. Modern child development experts do not ever recommend taking a child over your knee and being violent towards them as a way to solve behavior problems. If you're a provider I suggest maybe taking some courses to educate yourself.
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Old 09-12-2013, 05:25 PM
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I think that the best thing to do would be to hire someone part time that will be able to help you when your child gets home. Hire someone that will be qualified to watch your daycare and/or your daughter (maybe you guys could work together and switch off). This may be a temporary relief for you. If you don't you could risk losing your parents or your daughter hurting herself. I would be careful in what exactly you tell the daycare parents. Make sure you don't act stressed out with them, they want to feel like their kids are coming to a happy, healthy place.

As far as the person that suggested looking into her diet, I would second that. Now, it may not cause the issues, but sometimes it can ease issues. My son for example had a horrible reaction to anything with food coloring in it. He was terrible. Now, eventually, they can grow out of things, so I wouldn't panic. See how she is behaving at school vs. home. It very well be that she is looking for attention and she is just extreme about it. Remain calm, hire someone for a couple of hours in the afternoon to help you instead of putting her in an afterschool program. I think that would be better money spent.

Take care. Hopefully things will get better for you!
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Old 09-12-2013, 05:27 PM
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I have read all of your comments and all of the responses and based on what I've read I don't get the impression that there is anything medically wrong with you daughter. In my opinion you need to put your daughter across your lap and give her a good old fashion butt spanking! You need to take control of your house and stop allowing a 6 year old to run it! You're the adult, and it's time you start acting like one. Everyone is afraid of her and she knows it! She's not going to stop until you stop her. Why should she stop when she has everyone under her control! How are you going to operate a day care and manage other people's kids if you can't manage your own child? You better take control now before it's too late, because the older she gets, the worse it will get!
I give the original poster a lot of credit. She is a caring mother who seems to have gone through. A lot to get her daughter help and is asking for advice. Sometimes life hands us just too much and instead of giving up, this woman opened up to us for a chance that maybe someone will give her an idea help her child.
Please do not put her down any further. I hope the original poster does not take this personal. It is a shame there are people who feel so self righteous that they need to shame those asking for help.
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Old 09-12-2013, 06:15 PM
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I give the original poster a lot of credit. She is a caring mother who seems to have gone through. A lot to get her daughter help and is asking for advice. Sometimes life hands us just too much and instead of giving up, this woman opened up to us for a chance that maybe someone will give her an idea help her child.
Please do not put her down any further. I hope the original poster does not take this personal. It is a shame there are people who feel so self righteous that they need to shame those asking for help.
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Old 09-12-2013, 06:41 PM
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Thank you to the people that spoke out for myself and my daughter! This is why I wanted to post privately about the situation. I have already received so much criticism and loss from family and friends. That I didn't want it to happen here too. I am at a low in my life feeling like I am trying to avoid an avalanche from crushing me. But that doesn't mean that I am a bad daycare provider or that I can't handle children, my other 2 children are perfectly well behaved which rules out bad parenting in my eyes. All my daycare children are absolutely amazing and very well behaved! My daycare kiddos have been with me since they were babies.

I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused as a child. So I do not agree with spanking out of anger or as a form of routine punishment. Harsh punishment out of anger does not work, as research shows. It causes more problems. Also I understand that with age if it is not corrected it could get worse which is why I have been desperately seeking help for over 3 years.

I have been looking for a babysitter for her (and the other children) so my husband and I can have a date night once in awhile. But once I mention the behavior, no one ever responds back. So I don't know if I could even find someone to help me during pick up.

I am trying really hard not to take the comment personal but it is a little difficult not too. After seeing the comment I was thinking about not responding. But after seeing so many supporting me (which means more than you know) I had to reply. So thank you!
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Old 09-12-2013, 07:10 PM
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Thank you to the people that spoke out for myself and my daughter! This is why I wanted to post privately about the situation. I have already received so much criticism and loss from family and friends. That I didn't want it to happen here too. I am at a low in my life feeling like I am trying to avoid an avalanche from crushing me. But that doesn't mean that I am a bad daycare provider or that I can't handle children, my other 2 children are perfectly well behaved which rules out bad parenting in my eyes. All my daycare children are absolutely amazing and very well behaved! My daycare kiddos have been with me since they were babies.

I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused as a child. So I do not agree with spanking out of anger or as a form of routine punishment. Harsh punishment out of anger does not work, as research shows. It causes more problems. Also I understand that with age if it is not corrected it could get worse which is why I have been desperately seeking help for over 3 years.

I have been looking for a babysitter for her (and the other children) so my husband and I can have a date night once in awhile. But once I mention the behavior, no one ever responds back. So I don't know if I could even find someone to help me during pick up.

I am trying really hard not to take the comment personal but it is a little difficult not too. After seeing the comment I was thinking about not responding. But after seeing so many supporting me (which means more than you know) I had to reply. So thank you!
there is always someone!
Keep doing what you do- one moment at a time! You will get answers because you won't settle for less! You daughter (and other children) are blessed to have you- keep your head high!!
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Old 09-13-2013, 04:06 AM
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You are doing the right thing! I am certainly not an expert, but I am sure that physical discipline is not the right thing to do.

I not only have a child with Aspergers, I have had quite a few children in my daycare with complex behavioral issues. You do need to let them know you mean business, and follow through on any discipline you feel is appropriate. I have had parents that will verbalize a rule to a child 15 times before actually responding and making the child go on a time out.

It is really important to find out why you daughter is reacting the way she is and then devise a plan. You are good mom and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!
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Old 09-13-2013, 04:07 AM
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Oh yeah, I can SOOOOOO relate to not being able to find anyone to watch your daughter. I lived that way for many, many years. I also avoided many social functions because of outbursts. She is all grown up, but I still do some avoiding to some extent.

Hang in there.
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Old 09-13-2013, 05:18 AM
awilliams123 awilliams123 is offline
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I give the original poster a lot of credit. She is a caring mother who seems to have gone through. A lot to get her daughter help and is asking for advice. Sometimes life hands us just too much and instead of giving up, this woman opened up to us for a chance that maybe someone will give her an idea help her child.
Please do not put her down any further. I hope the original poster does not take this personal. It is a shame there are people who feel so self righteous that they need to shame those asking for help.
My response has nothing to do with being self righteous. She asked for advice, and I gave mine. Just because it differs from what the rest of you think is the right way, doesn't make my way the wrong way. If she couldn't handle different opinions then perhaps she shouldn't have posted on the internet. Everyone doesn't think and act the same. When you go in a forum and ask for people's advice then you have to expect to hear a variety of different opinions, not just the one's you want to hear. I stand by my advice just as you stand by yours, whether you agree or not!
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Old 09-13-2013, 05:49 AM
awilliams123 awilliams123 is offline
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Thank you to the people that spoke out for myself and my daughter! This is why I wanted to post privately about the situation. I have already received so much criticism and loss from family and friends. That I didn't want it to happen here too. I am at a low in my life feeling like I am trying to avoid an avalanche from crushing me. But that doesn't mean that I am a bad daycare provider or that I can't handle children, my other 2 children are perfectly well behaved which rules out bad parenting in my eyes. All my daycare children are absolutely amazing and very well behaved! My daycare kiddos have been with me since they were babies.

I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused as a child. So I do not agree with spanking out of anger or as a form of routine punishment. Harsh punishment out of anger does not work, as research shows. It causes more problems. Also I understand that with age if it is not corrected it could get worse which is why I have been desperately seeking help for over 3 years.

I have been looking for a babysitter for her (and the other children) so my husband and I can have a date night once in awhile. But once I mention the behavior, no one ever responds back. So I don't know if I could even find someone to help me during pick up.

I am trying really hard not to take the comment personal but it is a little difficult not too. After seeing the comment I was thinking about not responding. But after seeing so many supporting me (which means more than you know) I had to reply. So thank you!
You came in this forum asking for people's advice. I gave you mine. If all you wanted was sympathy then perhaps you should have asked for that instead of advice. If you don't agree with my method, that's ok. But don't ask for different advice if all you want to hear is more of the same stuff you've already been doing that hasn't worked for you at all. You say you've received a lot of criticism, are you sure it was criticism or just advice you didn't like or agree with. When you enter a public forum and ask for advice or opinions you have to be open to hearing all sorts of opinions. People are different and have different views about how things should be done. Spanking children has been used as a form of discipline for hundreds of years by parents of all cultures, and has been very effective. As a child care provider I don't nor would i ever spank any of my kids, but with my own kids i did and they have all grown up to be very good, decent well respected men and women. They aren't psychologically damaged. There's a difference in spanking a child and abusing them. I didn't hit them with objects, lock them in closets or starve them, I simply spank them on the bottom and it worked. I still say that you need to take control of your daughter and stop allowing her to control you. Sometimes parenting requires tough love. Kids are smart. They know who will tolerate bad behavior and who won't. If you want change, it must first start with you!!!!
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Old 09-13-2013, 06:10 AM
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You came in this forum asking for people's advice. I gave you mine. If all you wanted was sympathy then perhaps you should have asked for that instead of advice. If you don't agree with my method, that's ok. But don't ask for different advice if all you want to hear is more of the same stuff you've already been doing that hasn't worked for you at all. You say you've received a lot of criticism, are you sure it was criticism or just advice you didn't like or agree with. When you enter a public forum and ask for advice or opinions you have to be open to hearing all sorts of opinions. People are different and have different views about how things should be done. Spanking children has been used as a form of discipline for hundreds of years by parents of all cultures, and has been very effective. As a child care provider I don't nor would i ever spank any of my kids, but with my own kids i did and they have all grown up to be very good, decent well respected men and women. They aren't psychologically damaged. There's a difference in spanking a child and abusing them. I didn't hit them with objects, lock them in closets or starve them, I simply spank them on the bottom and it worked. I still say that you need to take control of your daughter and stop allowing her to control you. Sometimes parenting requires tough love. Kids are smart. They know who will tolerate bad behavior and who won't. If you want change, it must first start with you!!!!
I agree with you. The more I think and read about this post, I have to say this. First you said that when she was a toddler she was bad. Well guess what toddler are bad, they are exploring their world, they push you to the limits.

also, children are not born bad (ok some are born with issues) but most are not, she didn't become violent over night along with the tempertantrums.

also, I don't understand why everyone keeps suggesting medical things wrong with her when even her own dr. can't figure it out. Maybe it acually does stem from you. You did say that you are at a low point in your life, well it will affect your children. Just because 2 of the other children are fine doesn't mean nothing, they just may be have better coping skills.

I find it odd that people wouldn't support your dicision in helping your child unless there is more to your story, because I know not every family is supportive but there is always some that will support you because it involves a child.

you've been given alot of suggestions, good luck to you but your child's not going to get better if you can't get better yourself.
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Old 09-13-2013, 06:40 AM
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I'm pretty sure I didn't use the word bad child. If I did that was my mistake, I try very hard not to refer to her as "bad".

You are correct that the doctors don't know what is going on. But the reason they keep referring us to someone else is because they know something is going on they just don't know what. I have been take videos of the meltdowns on and off for awhile now. I just recently started keeping a diary. The professionals have seen some of the videos. Again they all agree something is going on. Our state is one of the lowest in the US for Mental Health.

I'm not going to go into my family because that would take a book to write! Some we have cut ties with because of various issues and some have cut ties with us.

I am at a low in my life because of this. Not because of anything else. It has been difficult battling this situation for so long with no support system.

The good news I came to announce is that they had a cancelation today! I was towards the end of the list but no one else could make it on such short notice. So we are getting ready to get on the road.
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Old 09-13-2013, 06:51 AM
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That's great news! Keep us posted!
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Old 09-13-2013, 06:52 AM
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The good news I came to announce is that they had a cancelation today! I was towards the end of the list but no one else could make it on such short notice. So we are getting ready to get on the road.
Yay!!! Awesome! I sincerely hope that you have some support today at the evaluation. And that you get some answers and a game plan soon!

Just ignore the advice you don't want and take the advice that works for you. She's YOUR child, you know her best. Those posters who gave their opinions supporting hitting children have never even met her so how can they know?
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Old 09-13-2013, 06:53 AM
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OP, I have a good friend with a child with mental health issues. She had much faster results by going through emergency when he escalated. I know it sounds strange but mental health/breakdowns etc are treated in our children's hospital along with physical illnesses. If your state is lacking in mental health care maybe emerg could be an means to a quicker result for you.

Much luck! My friend struggled for years with her child's problems and it wasn't until the child was hospitalized that they were able to get a full diagnosis and treatment. He is a completely different child now. He was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, tourettes and sensory issues. It's no wonder they couldn't sort everything out with short office visits.
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Old 09-13-2013, 07:01 AM
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I just re-read the posts being so critical and cannot believe how harsh some of you are being. It is downright disgusting. Can you not see this woman is struggling with her own child, who she loves dearly?
There are tons of things that are not so obvious that could be going on and after doing child care for over 20 years, I have seen so many things that you would not even believe. I have had kids here with medical, social, environmental and psychological issues. Yes, home life can contribute to that, but there is usually an organic reason why something affects one child more than another.

I had a child here that could hear sounds that we cannot, high pitched sounds that come from light fixtures, appliances etc that most of us cannot hear or our brains can ignore. After many, many tests they found out her hearing was way more sensitive than the average person. It was literally driving her crazy. Don't kids deserve to be treated as individuals and have no stone unturned to help them?

Yes, you need to be firm about anything regarding safety issues or destruction of property or breaking 'house rules'. But to do that to a child that may have an underlying physiological issue is just cruel. Do we beat a child that can't talk because we are irritated that they don't answer?

Yikes!
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Old 09-13-2013, 07:09 AM
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I'm pretty sure I didn't use the word bad child. If I did that was my mistake, I try very hard not to refer to her as "bad".

You are correct that the doctors don't know what is going on. But the reason they keep referring us to someone else is because they know something is going on they just don't know what. I have been take videos of the meltdowns on and off for awhile now. I just recently started keeping a diary. The professionals have seen some of the videos. Again they all agree something is going on. Our state is one of the lowest in the US for Mental Health.

I'm not going to go into my family because that would take a book to write! Some we have cut ties with because of various issues and some have cut ties with us.

I am at a low in my life because of this. Not because of anything else. It has been difficult battling this situation for so long with no support system.

The good news I came to announce is that they had a cancelation today! I was towards the end of the list but no one else could make it on such short notice. So we are getting ready to get on the road.
Yay!!!!! . Hope you got all the paper work filled out! . PLEASE let us know how it goes! Saying a Prayer now.
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Old 09-13-2013, 08:52 AM
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I am working on the paperwork now. I will be done before we get there! Will update after we are done.
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Old 09-13-2013, 02:54 PM
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I want to thank everyone who was supportive and offered their advice. Our daughter has been diagnosed with aspergers and sensory processing disorder. They are going to work with us and teach us a treatment plan to work for her. They were absolutely wonderful! I am so glad we went!
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Old 09-13-2013, 03:06 PM
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I want to thank everyone who was supportive and offered their advice. Our daughter has been diagnosed with aspergers and sensory processing disorder. They are going to work with us and teach us a treatment plan to work for her. They were absolutely wonderful! I am so glad we went!
Yay!!!! . A road map!!! Good for you for keeping at it!!! Once she is getting what she needs(and I feel confident with you she will ) I bet she will seem like a different child!!
So happy for all of you!
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Old 09-13-2013, 06:11 PM
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Wow!! I'm so glad you got some answers today. Now you know how to help her and that is the most important first step.

You're a good momma to keep seeking help. You knew something was amiss and you kept advocating for her until you found out how to get her help. She's a lucky girl to have you.
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Old 09-13-2013, 06:30 PM
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Thats great news!!!! You knew something was wrong and you were persistant to find an answer. Best of luck to you and your family. Keep us posted on her progress. Also wanted to say that its nice to see such an out pour of support from all of you ladies on the forum.
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Old 09-13-2013, 06:48 PM
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Great news! I'm so glad to hear you are starting to get somewhere!
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Old 09-17-2013, 12:00 PM
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Wow! Just like my daughter! She does sound a lot like her!

I am so happy you got a diagnosis and can now get the services and support you need! Let me know if you need anything...
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Old 09-17-2013, 01:48 PM
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Wow! Just like my daughter! She does sound a lot like her!

I am so happy you got a diagnosis and can now get the services and support you need! Let me know if you need anything...

Thank you so much! Thank you to everyone else! This forum is amazing!
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Old 09-17-2013, 02:45 PM
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Thank you so much! Thank you to everyone else! This forum is amazing!
Perhaps you could register and join us more often.
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Old 09-17-2013, 02:48 PM
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Perhaps you could register and join us more often.
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