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  #1  
Old 03-14-2014, 10:41 AM
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Default Stressed Over BITING

Okay, so I know biting happens with kids especially toddlers
BUT my son bit one of my daycare boys today so so badly (broken skin)
He wasn't provoked, we were all building a tower he leaned over and chomp I panicked and pulled him off causing a worse bite.

Now, this Mom is rather uptight and doesn't understand kids all too much. My gf said expect the worst ( pulling child ) because
She is just that over protective.
Any ideas on how to approach. Text to warn, send picture, phone call
Can I make the bite look less drastic anyway lol

Help please
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  #2  
Old 03-14-2014, 10:45 AM
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Can't figure how to attach picture
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Old 03-14-2014, 10:55 AM
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Be honest, explain what happened and that you will be taking steps (shadowing, removal group activities, never left unattended, etc) to prevent it from happening again. My son was a biter and thankfully I had very understanding parents, he was quite young and had to learn it wasn't okay. He has bit once in the last 6 mos and it's been the same boy 99% of the time. How old is your son?
There's fliers online that talk about biting in the daycare setting. How old is he?
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Old 03-14-2014, 11:10 AM
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Thanks, he is 20 months. I texted the DCM explaining the situation and wrote out a detailed accident report

DCM was not happy with me at all, and very blaming.
"How could you let this happen?"
" you must not have been supervising"

I was sitting playing blocks right with them - it was completely
Out of the blue and norm for this to happen. I feel awful
I hate when 'accidents' happen on my watch
Now I feel even worse.

If she is the upset I can just imagine at pick up
She hasn't even seen how bad the bite actually is
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Old 03-14-2014, 11:16 AM
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Awww, I'm sorry it happened. Just calmly answer her questions " of course I was supervising" etc. Of course it's normal to feel bad, but try not to let the guilt get to you. She will never find a place anywhere that can protect her child from bumps bruises and yes, bites 100% of the time.
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Old 03-14-2014, 11:29 AM
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Please don't feel bad about this. Biting happens sometimes with this age group. If dcm can't understand that, then maybe dck isn't meant for group care. You were sitting right there, sometimes things happen, we can't prevent every little thing from happening. I would like to see these parents who say these things watch multiple kids and catch every little thing. She has to understand that you are a fcc and it's only you. You have to get things done, it's group care. It's not like you tried to hide it or anything. I hope she doesn't give you any grief over it, it's not like it happened multiple time.

My ds bit a child the other day. They were playing and he just did it. I'll admit, I was making lunch or something and didn't see it happen, but things happen. My dcm was understanding, but if she hadn't been, I think I would have had to have her decide if group care was for her.

I did have one dck who used to bite, luckily parents were understanding. I did have to put him on a plan of action, so I had him with me everywhere I went for a while. He eventually grew out of it. Obviously if it's a chronic problem that's a different story, but every once in a while is normal.

My licensing office gives out literature about biting and daycare. It's great to have some kind of back up when you have to explain that biting (if not constantly) is developmentally normal for a toddler.

Sorry so long!
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Old 03-14-2014, 11:34 AM
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Thanks everyone!

I am always so hard on my self. I love the idea of printing out
A pamphlet on biting! Great idea.

And you are absolutely right, if she isn't understanding a wee bit
Perhaps she should move on. If she can't see all the good I do and simply
Focuses on yes this one very negative I can't help her

It's just a nasty bite, thankfully I was there my husband said imagine I wasn't
He said easily a chunk of flesh would be gone
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:05 PM
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I do NOT tell my parents which child bit their child. I tell them how it is being handled and then leave it up to them what they choose to do in terms of care. I would say something like this since you already told her it was your child:

"Biting is common during this age. As a group care setting child provider, I supervise all children and treat my child in this incident no differently than I would if it were any other child that bit. If a child bites another child, I continue to shadow them closely during play with others and will have them play separately if the biting continues. Those actions will be taken with my child, since he was the biter this time. Here is my guidelines on how I handle biting situations *hand DCM your biting policy* and here is my withdrawl form if you feel that group care is not the best option for your son. I understand that some families need one on one care, which is the ONLY way to guarantee that your child will not receive injury from other children. *Hand form to parent* Please let me know if you have any questions about my biting policy or how I handle all biting incidents."
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:14 PM
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Why do they always bite "that kid" of "that mom"????
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:19 PM
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Thanks everyone

RIGHT! Why oh why does it have to be 'that' kid
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:23 PM
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I would also address the comment DCM made about not supervising.

If it's not addressed, Mom may report you.

I love the idea about sending resources and info about biting. Hopefully DCM understands once she is educated.
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:43 PM
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Address with her about her comment? Or with someone else.

I have documented everything and taken photos. I know it's hard to believe biting can happen so fast ... And never should have pulled him off as instinctually bite/clamp down making it so much worse
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by godiva83 View Post
Address with her about her comment? Or with someone else.

I have documented everything and taken photos. I know it's hard to believe biting can happen so fast ... And never should have pulled him off as instinctually bite/clamp down making it so much worse
I'm sorry... I meant discuss the comment with the mom because she basically accused you of not supervising her child.

Those kinds of comments always start off so minuscule and then have away of coming back to bite you. No pun intended

I would just really want to make sure the mom does really believe you aren't supervising well. Kwim?
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Old 03-14-2014, 01:28 PM
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Thank you scribbles will do
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Old 03-14-2014, 01:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by llpa View Post
Awww, I'm sorry it happened. Just calmly answer her questions " of course I was supervising" etc. Of course it's normal to feel bad, but try not to let the guilt get to you. She will never find a place anywhere that can protect her child from bumps bruises and yes, bites 100% of the time.
Exactly. 7 years ago I worked in a toddler room at a center with your son's age. This one child would pull hair and other kids would bite. ALWAYS. Unless we had placed that child in a bubble there was no way to prevent it 100%. She had him transferred out of our room to the 2's and guess what? Bit there, too. She stormed at me saying her friend's kids are NEVER biten (mind you, I was not even in her child's new room). I told her it looks like she is searching for a nanny who can exclusively follow her child around ensuring he won't get harmed at all because the center does the best that they can with many children without confining hers to a high chair all day away from others. I cried after.

Some parents are just like that. I had a client here that I made a bruise log for because they wanted it documented (so I said it must be done at home, too).
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Old 03-14-2014, 01:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scribbles View Post
I'm sorry... I meant discuss the comment with the mom because she basically accused you of not supervising her child.

Those kinds of comments always start off so minuscule and then have away of coming back to bite you. No pun intended

I would just really want to make sure the mom does really believe you aren't supervising well. Kwim?
Very good point. Make sure she SIGNS the incident report.
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  #17  
Old 03-14-2014, 02:06 PM
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I had a baby of "that mom" who's baby (13mos) bit twice on his last 2 days. Once it was me on my leg and the other was a 4yr old's ear. I told mom the 2nd time because I wasn't going to be like "Um your baby bit me!" Ya know? But with another child I definitely told her and said to watch out for that with other kids he may be around since she was staying home with him. She said something about him biting her in the past couple weeks and I just KNOW if someone bit HER baby she would have yanked him out of here so fast his head would spin but when it's their child it's somehow different.
I totally know how it feels to have my own baby bit or hurt because it's happened as well but we did what we could to prevent it. One little boy was about 18mos and bit my then 4 month old's foot and broke the skin! I had put him up in the high chair in the kitchen with me while I made lunch to prevent him being on the floor near the biter. He was being good and then all of a sudden I heard that cry, it only took a second. I almost cried myself. It was awful. Thankfully it was his last day as well! LOL it happened 2 or 3 times total with that boy but my DS was a problem biter for about 3 mos last summer at 18mos; teething and not really talking yet.
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Old 03-14-2014, 02:16 PM
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She has no right talking to you like that. Tell her to stop it and don't do it again. You told her what happened and she is trying to get attention for herself by making it into something it is not.
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  #19  
Old 03-14-2014, 02:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
She has no right talking to you like that. Tell her to stop it and don't do it again. You told her what happened and she is trying to get attention for herself by making it into something it is not.
I agree, if she doesn't pull the baby over this, be prepared for more nasty mom outbursts in the future.
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  #20  
Old 03-14-2014, 05:09 PM
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Originally Posted by TwinKristi View Post
I agree, if she doesn't pull the baby over this, be prepared for more nasty mom outbursts in the future.
Sadly, this is true.

How was pick up?
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  #21  
Old 01-21-2017, 08:56 AM
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Default I am in need of much help. Bitting Issues

Hello Everyone,
I am in need of much help. I am a dcp/ owner of a GFDC. I have been operating for about fours years now and I have never had to deal with biting until now. I need to know when and what to report when a child is bitten and the bitter. I am very upset about this situation and I am losing sleep this. I have always verbally inform my parents when their child has gotten a cut, scrape, or other minor incidents and any first aid attention. But, no one has ever asked for a report. I do not know what to do. I also know that I am to tell the parents what happen. But the story seems to change when I ask my staff what happened. My stomach is in knots and I love of all my my dc children. Please please help I am crying now as I am writing. Everyone is looking at me and I am feeling I am drowning.
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Old 01-21-2017, 09:46 AM
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When a bite happens at the daycare I am at we write an incident report. We simply state child's name was bitten while playing. Action taken: which is Ice pack applied, lavender oil applied and other child was disciplined. On the biter child's we write child bit another child while playing. Child was placed in time out, and spoken to about not hurting friends.
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Old 01-21-2017, 03:51 PM
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Thank you racemom. Can I ask if i did not do it on the day it happen but a few days later does it matter or just as long as I write one? This all happen just two days ago. I am freaking out about this. I really wan t to cover myself.
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Old 01-21-2017, 07:00 PM
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In your position, I'd get a report thrown together ASAP, give it to the parents of the child who was bitten, and apologize for not having it immediately. Let them know that you'll be ensuring any further incidents are recorded and that, of course, you'll notify them immediately if their child ever may be in need of medical care. (Was the skin broken? If so, there's a risk of infection and the parents should have been called right away. Otherwise, just a report at pick up is fine.) Be calm and professional when you talk to them--don't over-apologize or make it sound like you're not sure how to handle this.

If they're on the warpath about the other kid, stand your ground. Don't let them know who did the biting. If the kid who bit has been doing this often, you'll have to decide how to handle that--the parents of the bitten kid should have no role in this.

I've been recommending this book to everybody; it helped me a lot. It addresses the factors that lead to persistent biting, potential solutions, and how to deal with communication with parents. In that way, it's useful for all kinds of problem behaviors.

The parents of the child who bit and the child who was bitten should both be notified, but don't ever tell who bit. Don't downplay how severe the bite is, but stay calm about biting--it's inevitable, and the worst thing about it is how outraged/panicked parents get. Don't label one child a "biter." Instead, identify possible reasons the child is biting and work to mitigate.

Google "day care incident report" and see what other care centers use. Train your staff to record this stuff! My daughter's school has a simple form that says:

Minor incident report
Date of incident
Time of incident
Adult who was present
Description of incident
Treatment provided


She's brave AND clumsy, so she comes home with one of those every day.
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Old 01-21-2017, 11:01 PM
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You can still provide them an incident report. I would tell the parents it is written documentation of the incident. Don't make a big deal out of it, or over apologize. The more you seem upset to the bitees parents, the bigger and issue it becomes. Let them know it happens, and you try to prevent it and move on. Hopefully this is a one time issue and the biter won't continue, but many times it does and you have a repeat offender in which case your staff will have to become extra vigilant.
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Old 01-22-2017, 04:27 AM
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I just dealt with a biter.

When anything like that happens, I write an injury report up for the child that was bitten. I include time, what was happening at the time of the bite, what I did (washed, iced if nec., hugs and kisses, etc), what I will do to prevent it in the future.

I write an incident report up for the parents of the biter. So basically the same thing but how I handled it for them.

Both have to sign and return the sheets for their files.

However, as soon as it happens (or as soon as I can), I send both families a text or email so that they know it happened prior to pick up. I never identify the child(ren) involved, just that it happened, offer some suggestions on how to assist at home to curb the behaviour, and tell them how I am handling it here to help prevent it from happening again.

Biting can be very emotional for parents (both sides) so I try to stay as calm and matter of fact as possible. I don't debate whether it's normal behaviour or not, just what I am prepared to do to prevent it in the future.

I would just have a brief convo with parents at pick up, tell them that you need the documentation for their file, and get their signature. If you normally send forms home, ask them to please return it the following day of care.

It's not easy but just be calm and matter of fact about it and that will help everyone.
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Old 01-22-2017, 10:17 PM
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Thank you for all of the advice. I will write reports out and have parents sign them.Yes, the skin was broken and the child was taken to the er and medication was given.
Also, I just found out that the dcp are pulling the child that has happen bitten out. The funny thing is a staff member told me and not the dcp themselves. Should I still write the report eventhough the child is not coming back?
Also, where can I find that it is illegal to disclose the name of the child that has done the bitting. I need to prove to people that this is true. I am in New York and does it vary from state to state?
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Old 01-23-2017, 06:19 AM
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I would write the report, to cover you incase they decide to take legal action against you. That way you have written documentation of the incident. As far as not disclosing names, I cannot help you with that, all I can say is we never do with any incident involving more than one child.
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Old 01-23-2017, 08:17 AM
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What do your regulations say about kids going to the ER for treatment of an injury received at day care?
In my state I would have had to call licensing as soon as I became aware the child got medical treatment as well as filing an official form with them. And then I would be prepared for a pop-in inspection.
If you haven't already spoken to your licensing agent, I would give them a call to see what you need to do.

One of the things my licensing agent suggested at one of her visits was to get in the habit of doing an injury report every time a child gets a boo-boo, even minor things like pulling a sliver, or stubbing a toe, etc. and having the parent sign off. Yes, it seems like one more thing to do, but it's great CYA. Plus it gets you in the habit and then you don't have to leave it up to staff decision as to whether a report gets filed or not.
Good Luck!
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Old 01-23-2017, 12:11 PM
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Not sharing the identity of the child who bit is not a legal/licensing issue--it's just a good policy. If you pit the families against each other, you may end up losing more than just the one family.
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Old 01-23-2017, 06:09 PM
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I am not sure of New York State's regulation on injuries at a day care. But I will find out. Thank you again for the information and advice.
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