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  #1  
Old 09-22-2011, 08:52 AM
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I think that I might be in trouble.

So yesterday was my daughter back to school night. I have missed back to school night for the last 5 years because of DC. Well this BSN, my daughter was asked to sing solo the National Anthem. The music class did a theme on different countries of the world, my daughter had a solo presentation of singing in French, Arabic and Gaelic. I was not going to miss it this year for anything.

So as normal, I informed the parents a month in advance. I sent out reminders weekly and posted it everywhere all over my house. I even sent a text the morning of the event that I would be closing early so I could attend this event. NOT one parent seemed to mind, no one said anything at all.

So yesterday I am getting ready to leave and I still have one families kids here. I called the parents 5 min before I was to leave to remind them again. I got no answer. I called both parents. Well I waited a total of 15 minutes and no one came. I was not going to go down the list of emergency contacts so as stated in my PHB/policies if you are not here to pick up your children on time and I have some where to be, I will take the kids with me. Well, I loaded up the kids in the car and off I went. I kept my phone on me and checked it often. Finally about 30 min. into the singing concert, my phone rings and it’s the DCM.. Boy is she mad.

Long story short, I end up having to leave the concert to take the kids to meet the mom out front of the school. I missed my daughters performance and the mom was so mad that she said that she will be turning me in?? UGH My emotions are all over the place and I am not too sure what I should do? BTW the kids are not here today and I have not called DCP to ask anything……

What should I do right now and why do I feel like I am at fault?
BTW even if the DC family forgives me, they are not welcome back here. They cost me something that I can never replace. Oh and my daughter was really upset when she told me she noticed that I had to get up and walk out in the middle of the concert and did not get to see her perform….She said “those kids robbed you of seeing me at my best again mom” I cried most of the night last night….

Last edited by Michael; 10-18-2011 at 05:22 PM.
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  #2  
Old 09-22-2011, 08:58 AM
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Legally speaking only...

1. Did you have a signed consent to transport?

2. Is it printed on your signed contract that you would take them with you in the event of a no-show past closing (even a scheduled early closing)?

As long as you have those, you are covered.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:04 AM
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I'm so sorry.
I hope you don't get in "trouble" - but even if you do, you are not at fault here, the mother is and she's a HORRIBLE person for turning this around on you. Stop letting it eat you, move on - never let that family back in your home, and in the future, close at least one hour prior to having to be somewhere, and use that emergency contact list!
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:09 AM
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I hope you have a statement signed saying you can transport the children, or else that alone could get you in big trouble.

Also, you probably should have went down the list of emergency contacts. That is how it would go here.

I understand wanting to see your daughter sing, but you also have an obligation to your job. If your dcp were not there, you should have called the emergency contacts right away.

Do you have a late fee policy? Mine is $1/minute past your scheduled pick up time.

*Sorry, saw you posted at the same time I did* Then I guess, I think you will be just fine. Just be ready to hear from your licensor.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:14 AM
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I disagree that her obligation to her job supercedes her obligation as a parent. She was technically closed since family should have picked up already. Plus she said he policy handbook states that if you don't come on time, she will take her kids with her which is what she did. I see nothing wrong with how you handled things but I would be livid with that family. This mom has no right to be angry with you since this whole fiasco was caused by her actions or rather lack of actions by not being on time for pick up.

((((hugs)))) that you missed your daughter sing. I hope someone in the audience perhaps has the performance on video for you.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I disagree that her obligation to her job supercedes her obligation as a parent. She was technically closed since family should have picked up already. Plus she said he policy handbook states that if you don't come on time, she will take her kids with her which is what she did. I see nothing wrong with how you handled things but I would be livid with that family. This mom has no right to be angry with you since this whole fiasco was caused by her actions or rather lack of actions by not being on time for pick up.

((((hugs)))) that you missed your daughter sing. I hope someone in the audience perhaps has the performance on video for you.

Maybe I stated what I meant wrong, I meant, IMO she should have called the emergency contacts before just leaving with them. But either way, I REALLY hope somehow you can get a video of your daughter singing.

By that tiem I would have told the mom to wait to get her kids until your daughter was done singing because you didn't want to miss it.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:23 AM
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I'm sorry that this happened to you.

IMHO, take it for what it's worth, YOU did nothing wrong. The MOTHER was at fault, end of story.

Let her call licensing on you. I really doubt there is anything they could do besides tell you not to do it again.

I actually had this happen as a parent. My dh was in a car accident, couldn't get to the kids, provider took the kids to a school play. Back before cell phones, so she left a note on her front door. It cost me $30 for the kids to watch a school play, but oh, well, they were being taken care of.

Term the family and move on if you can. Put it in your contract/handbook, policies that you will not miss your children's school functions for the parents convenience.
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  #8  
Old 09-22-2011, 09:27 AM
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Default gotta learn how to do this...

lol..I forgot to log back out..

Yes I have permission to transport and the parent also signed the handbook stating that if I have to be some where and the parents are not on time to pick up, I will be taking the kids with me.

I do have an obligation, just as my DCP do. I have an obligation to my family first no matter what. AND if a family is not respectful enough to follow my rules then they need to find another place to go.

I did make a few mistakes here and I am learning my lesson. Like someone said I should have closed earlier, (I was trying to be nice and not put anyone out, so I stayed open as late as i could). If I would have allowed for more time then I would have had time to call the emergency contacts on their list, but I didn't.

I bend over backwards for these families every day, even weekends, holidays and other special occasions and if they can't do 1 thing (so far this is the first time I had to close early this year) for me then I don't want people like that here...
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  #9  
Old 09-22-2011, 09:28 AM
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I agree--so long as it is written in your contract and the contract was signed, there is no legal reason you should not have done exactly as you did. I'm sorry you had to miss your daughter's performance. That's very sucky and I'm so sorry it happened.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:33 AM
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That family would never step foot back into my house again.

This is a family who would never ever respect you, or care what happens to you as long as it works out for them. If they met someone cheaper or more convenient, they wouldn't think twice about leaving you in a heartbeat.

Most parents are awesome! They would not only have no problem with me going to see my child's concert, they would happily help me with anything I wanted. But, there are those rare families who act like this family just did.

You can choose to forgive HER for messing up your special night... but, you don't have to. She is wrong. She was selfish and lazy. Not you.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
lol..I forgot to log back out..

Yes I have permission to transport and the parent also signed the handbook stating that if I have to be some where and the parents are not on time to pick up, I will be taking the kids with me.

I do have an obligation, just as my DCP do. I have an obligation to my family first no matter what. AND if a family is not respectful enough to follow my rules then they need to find another place to go.

I did make a few mistakes here and I am learning my lesson. Like someone said I should have closed earlier, (I was trying to be nice and not put anyone out, so I stayed open as late as i could). If I would have allowed for more time then I would have had time to call the emergency contacts on their list, but I didn't.

I bend over backwards for these families every day, even weekends, holidays and other special occasions and if they can't do 1 thing (so far this is the first time I had to close early this year) for me then I don't want people like that here...
I think you should be fine since you have permission to transport their children and since it says that you will take children with you if parents are late. This parent has NO right to be upset given these circumstances. I would call her and talk to her, calmly explain the situation and also explain if you have any policy about giving two weeks notice and payment. Sorry this happened...
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherder View Post
Legally speaking only...

1. Did you have a signed consent to transport?

2. Is it printed on your signed contract that you would take them with you in the event of a no-show past closing (even a scheduled early closing)?

As long as you have those, you are covered.
I agree if you have those you should be fine...esp if you had them sign in the contract "if I have to be somewhere and you are not here at your scheduled pick up time child will go with me".
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:42 AM
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You should be fine since your contract states that you can do exactly what you did. She sounds like a total terd for acting that way to you! What a jerk she is. This is the part of daycare that I hate... missing out on our own kid's functions because of things like this. And than to have a parent be a total jacka** to you on top of that doesn't make it any better. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I think you'll be fine though. I would definitely terminate ASAP if she tries to come crawling back to you.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:44 AM
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She was the one who was late but she's trying to turn it into your fault when it wasn't. I would prepare for an inspection just in case but I don't understand what she would even turn you in for. You have in your hand book if they are on time you'll take the kids with you.

Wouldn't surprise me if she gets in touch with you and tries to make nice because she'll figure out she was being a bit**. I wouldn't let her back in my house. Try not to let it upset you and move on.
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:47 AM
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If you have it written down and it's signed, you didn't do anything wrong.

Of course the situation could have been handled differently...he!!, DCM could have accommodated your request to close early. As I see it, tough times call for tough measures. It's not your responsibility to track down an emergency contact just because DCM couldn't manage to be on time.

Be prepared for a visit from licensing. That's about the only reprocussion she has against you for your actions. You, however, have the ball in your corner. Take her to small claims court for failure to provide your required notice!
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Old 09-22-2011, 09:52 AM
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First of all. Call the school. Ask them if they video taped it. Ask for the numbers of any other parents whose child had a solo, in this electronic media age SOMEONE taped it beg borrow or pay for that copy!!!

Personally you followed the guidelines in your contract. It says if parents don't show up? Not I will try calling back up pickups and if they can't come I'll take child with me???

Third tell your daughter that this or something like this will NEVER happen again.

Hindsight says, you should have sat right there in your chair watched the performance and waved at your daughter:-). While telling mom you refuse to let your daughter down on such an important night because she chose to not pick up on time. That the moment she finished singing you would be right out or she could come directly to your row and you will send child down. That your late fees accrue until she has possession of her child. As outlined in your contract. In the same section that explains your policy on a parent refusing to arrive to pick up on time. That you signed at enrollment. Further more your contract is hereby terminated effective immediately, oh wait, she's singing, I'll call you in 3 minutes. And hang up. Silent your phone, and put it in your bag.

After she sings, you go stand by a cop ( they are almost always somewhere nearby) and call mom back. Tell her where YOU ARE. and have her find you. She won't show her arse in front of the cop. If she does just say, she was a childcare parent who refused to pick up her child. We had to be here and she agreed in her contract on this procedure at enrollment. And let it toll off you like water on a duck. If she contacts you tell her, YOU abandoned your child at her daycare. Did you expect me to just wait around for you to decide to show up? I was nice and didn't call CPs for abandonment. I followed our contract even though I didn't know when you would return. Out of curtesy to you.
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Old 09-22-2011, 10:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
lol..I forgot to log back out..

Yes I have permission to transport and the parent also signed the handbook stating that if I have to be some where and the parents are not on time to pick up, I will be taking the kids with me.

I do have an obligation, just as my DCP do. I have an obligation to my family first no matter what. AND if a family is not respectful enough to follow my rules then they need to find another place to go.

I did make a few mistakes here and I am learning my lesson. Like someone said I should have closed earlier, (I was trying to be nice and not put anyone out, so I stayed open as late as i could). If I would have allowed for more time then I would have had time to call the emergency contacts on their list, but I didn't.

I bend over backwards for these families every day, even weekends, holidays and other special occasions and if they can't do 1 thing (so far this is the first time I had to close early this year) for me then I don't want people like that here...
ALWAYS close way before you have to close. If you have a "time challenged" or "alpha... I'm the boss of you" or "I want my kid as little as possible" parent then you have to do AT LEAST two hours before you really need them to be there.
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Old 09-22-2011, 10:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
lol..I forgot to log back out..

Yes I have permission to transport and the parent also signed the handbook stating that if I have to be some where and the parents are not on time to pick up, I will be taking the kids with me.

I do have an obligation, just as my DCP do. I have an obligation to my family first no matter what. AND if a family is not respectful enough to follow my rules then they need to find another place to go.

I did make a few mistakes here and I am learning my lesson. Like someone said I should have closed earlier, (I was trying to be nice and not put anyone out, so I stayed open as late as i could). If I would have allowed for more time then I would have had time to call the emergency contacts on their list, but I didn't.

I bend over backwards for these families every day, even weekends, holidays and other special occasions and if they can't do 1 thing (so far this is the first time I had to close early this year) for me then I don't want people like that here...
Sorry this happened to you. You did NOTHING wrong! I have been in this situation and was almost late to my son's high school graduation, because of an inconsiderate parent. I too learned from my incident and closed at noon when my next child graduated, instead of just an hour early!

Licensing can't do anything if you transported the children in properly installed car seats and had a consent to transport them as well! Hopefully she will come to her senses and not make a call to them. She was indeed the one who messed up and should be apologizing for what she did....
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Old 09-22-2011, 10:44 AM
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My eyes actually teared up reading your post as I was so angry and upset for you.. Missing things like that are gut wrenching to a mom.

Chalk it up to experience and vow NEVER to put up with crap like that from a parent again.

Don't worry about a thing. You acted according to your contract. If she signed it without reading it, then more fool her.

She's ignorant and selfish and a b***h. Strong words...but I have been in your shoes and I know how it feels. How dare she have the audacity to try and turn it around onto you. I would terminate effective NOW. No notice.
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Old 09-22-2011, 10:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I disagree that her obligation to her job supercedes her obligation as a parent. She was technically closed since family should have picked up already. Plus she said he policy handbook states that if you don't come on time, she will take her kids with her which is what she did. I see nothing wrong with how you handled things but I would be livid with that family. This mom has no right to be angry with you since this whole fiasco was caused by her actions or rather lack of actions by not being on time for pick up.

((((hugs)))) that you missed your daughter sing. I hope someone in the audience perhaps has the performance on video for you.
I agree. This is the mothers fault. She had plenty of warning, she was told of the consequences and she chose not to follow the rules. What is she going to report, that she didn't pick her kids up on time and you had to take them to your appointment, boy I bet you licensing will be laughing at this one.
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:02 AM
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ALWAYS close way before you have to close. If you have a "time challenged" or "alpha... I'm the boss of you" or "I want my kid as little as possible" parent then you have to do AT LEAST two hours before you really need them to be there.
AGREE!

I do the same thing.

oh and also.....i would have accidentally shut my cell phone off during the performance. she wouldve been waiting out in the school parking lot until it was over...for her kid...and her term papers.

i'm sorry you had to go through that. maybe another parent filmed it and you can get a copy? somebody ALWAYS has a camera!!
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  #22  
Old 09-22-2011, 11:03 AM
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So DCM calls me about twenty min. ago and asks if we could talk. She goes on to say how sorry she is and that when she got home she realized that she was the one in the wrong. She asked if she could drop off the kids and she would do anything she could to make it up to me and my daughter....lol offered me and my daughter a full day of services at her salon/spa. DCM goes on and on about how bad she feels and I let her.

So when she is done, I tell her that she was the last person that I expected for this to ever happen with. I told her how horrible I felt and that I cried most of the night last night. I then told her that based off of yesterdays issue, that I knew in my heart that I could never offer my services to her and her family ever again. I told her it felt like I was stabbed in the heart and that I would be silly to allow anyone to ever have the chance to do that to me again. She started to cry and I said, I know this is going to sound horrible, but now you know how I felt yesterday. I am really sorry, but I am going to have to let you guys go and it will have to be today. I am going to get the kids stuff ready to go and you can pick it up any time tomorrow. She tried so hard to change my mind and I just said Im sorry, I can't. I am very proud of myself right now, but still feeling like poo....

thanks ladies for all of your help and support.... Having a contract and PHB has really paid off.
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:07 AM
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Why not call licensing yourself and tell them your side of the story. Just call up and say that you had this issue with the DCP and that she threatened to report you and that you just want to make sure that if she does call that she doesn't make up any untruthful stories. Explain your policies about taking kids with you and let them know that you have a waiver to transport. Explain everything exactly as you did here and be CONFIDENT when you talk to them. If you are planning on terminating them I would notify them of this as well and let them know that they have goven you no notice of terminitation but that you will initiate the process and that since she has already threatened you once about reporting you that you want to make sure that they are aware in case there is any backlash towards you in retaliation.

Hugs to you. So sorry that you had to miss your DD's solo. It sounds like you did everything right and she is angry because she is self absorbed and fails to see thing from your perspective. If I were in your shoes, I'd be terminating and would make sure that I quote everything in there about how she failed to give notice. I would send a termination notice today. Require payment for the 2 week termiation period and quote your policies.

Like someone said, hindsight. I think I also wouldve sat in my seat at the concert until my DD was done or had DCM go to the school and go to my row. I also wouldve charged lat pick-up fees.
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:09 AM
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Yay! So proud to hear you stand your ground!
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:15 AM
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Way to go!! I'm glad you didn't back down. She got exactly what she deserved.
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:16 AM
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I have done the same thing...I have taken a dck to parent teacher conferences, to track practice, to drop off my kids at an event or church, band concert....like 6-8 times over the course of 10years...so don't think I do this all the time. But I do NOT allow dc families scheduling issues to infringe on my kids being on time to their activities or family activities.

If the parent is late (and I am notified in advance/know they are on their way), they can pick up their child where ever I happen to be (plus give me the late fee). Or they can wait until our event is over, and I can drop them off at their house with a bigger late fee owed to me.

However, I wouldnt have left the concert, the parent would have to find ME.

If your case, though...you couldn't contact anyone, including emergency contacts. Completely innappropriate..they are very lucky you didn't call Child Services,vas that is part of our required notification system in the contract that the parents sign...that after a certain time frame(of my choosing) of no contact whatsoever, we are to notify the local authorities or child services.
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:16 AM
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Im crying for you sweets. Sending you love.
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:20 AM
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Glad to hear she called and realized how wrong she was! YAY to you for standing your ground and terming her.

Unfortunately these type will not change and when I have given them a second chance, they prove to be repeat offenders.
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:25 AM
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WOOHOOOO! Awesome! I know you feel like "poo" right now, but how awesome that you stood your ground and was strong. Good for you!!!!! Your an inspiration to me today You will be so happy later that you did that and that you didn't fold and let her talk you into staying. She would just be a jerk again later & you would kick yourself for taking her back. Good job!!!
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:26 AM
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Yeah!!!! Atta girl!!!

In the meantime......be prepared for another about face from this woman.

I can't help but feel her "apology" was because she realized she crossed a line and she may be out of child care...which would inconvenience HER. I personally don't believe that she had an complete change of heart on the way home. I think her apology is self serving. She is thinking about having to find other care, take time off work to do so etc etc. Sad as it is...I don't think she is that concerned about you or your daughter. If she was...she wouldn't have done what she did in the first place. She apologized to make life easier for HER.

She sounds like the kind of person who doesn't take "NO" very well. So still call licensing and let them know what happened. Just to be on top of things in case she decides to be vindictive because you have put her in the situation of having to find alternate care quickly.
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:33 AM
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I'm sooo glad you stood up for your self.
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:42 AM
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I am so glad you let her go.

I am trying to be more "parent friendly" and "less emotional" in my posts, but I hurt for you.

Maybe you could use some bedsheets and set up a "stage" so DD could do her own private showing this weekend at home? New dress, nails, the works...then film it? Make it a girls day....
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  #33  
Old 09-22-2011, 11:44 AM
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I am so glad you let her go.

I am trying to be more "parent friendly" and "less emotional" in my posts, but I hurt for you.

Maybe you could use some bedsheets and set up a "stage" so DD could do her own private showing this weekend at home? New dress, nails, the works...then film it? Make it a girls day....
Great idea.
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:45 AM
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I am so glad you let her go.

I am trying to be more "parent friendly" and "less emotional" in my posts, but I hurt for you.

Maybe you could use some bedsheets and set up a "stage" so DD could do her own private showing this weekend at home? New dress, nails, the works...then film it? Make it a girls day....
Abolutely!!!!! Do it!!!!
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Old 09-22-2011, 11:57 AM
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Default thanks cat for the idea

So I started to try to find the good in this after reading cats idea....

I called my neighbor who has a dance studio. I told her what happened and I would love to be able to do as CAT suggested. She said on Sunday she would be more than happy to doll up my daughter and allow for her to do the preformance again... She said she would love to even allow some of her friends to come and take a free hip hop dance class right after..... I am so excited.............

I called the school to see if someone has video and the PE teacher has one....

Even though it still stinks that i was not there to see it in person at least i have a second chance...

thanks so much for all of your support.....hugs to all!!
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  #36  
Old 09-22-2011, 12:33 PM
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So I started to try to find the good in this after reading cats idea....

I called my neighbor who has a dance studio. I told her what happened and I would love to be able to do as CAT suggested. She said on Sunday she would be more than happy to doll up my daughter and allow for her to do the preformance again... She said she would love to even allow some of her friends to come and take a free hip hop dance class right after..... I am so excited.............

I called the school to see if someone has video and the PE teacher has one....

Even though it still stinks that i was not there to see it in person at least i have a second chance...

thanks so much for all of your support.....hugs to all!!
Too cool!!!! YAY!! That sounds so fun.....
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Old 09-22-2011, 01:32 PM
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I would prepare for a full inspection now if you are registered or licensed.

I agree with Meek that you have a very high chance of her apology turning to anger once the apology words didn't net her being able to bring her kids to you today.
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  #38  
Old 09-22-2011, 01:32 PM
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So I started to try to find the good in this after reading cats idea....

I called my neighbor who has a dance studio. I told her what happened and I would love to be able to do as CAT suggested. She said on Sunday she would be more than happy to doll up my daughter and allow for her to do the preformance again... She said she would love to even allow some of her friends to come and take a free hip hop dance class right after..... I am so excited.............

I called the school to see if someone has video and the PE teacher has one....

Even though it still stinks that i was not there to see it in person at least i have a second chance...

thanks so much for all of your support.....hugs to all!!
Oh that's wonderful! Your daughter must have been upset you missed her perform...but I know she's so happy that you are showing her how VERY important this is to you. The fact you canned the dcm also shows your daughter that SHE is more important than business. This will bring you closer together in the long run.
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Old 09-22-2011, 01:55 PM
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I learned the hard way also to make sure to give myself PLENTY of time! I'm like you, try to be nice, stay open as late as possible and rush around myself...no more!

Sounds like you have yourself covered. It's not like you didn't have permission to transport and did. Have all the documents ready and be prepared for an inspection if she goes that far. She might just stop sending her kids and that's it....

So great that you found a copy of your daughter singing...maybe not live like you would have liked, but now the two of you can sit and watch it together...make a movie night with some popcorn too!
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Old 09-22-2011, 03:18 PM
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go you! way to stand up for yourself and your daughter. the nerve of some people!!!
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  #41  
Old 09-22-2011, 05:30 PM
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great for you.
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  #42  
Old 09-22-2011, 05:37 PM
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So DCM calls me about twenty min. ago and asks if we could talk. She goes on to say how sorry she is and that when she got home she realized that she was the one in the wrong. She asked if she could drop off the kids and she would do anything she could to make it up to me and my daughter....lol offered me and my daughter a full day of services at her salon/spa. DCM goes on and on about how bad she feels and I let her.

So when she is done, I tell her that she was the last person that I expected for this to ever happen with. I told her how horrible I felt and that I cried most of the night last night. I then told her that based off of yesterdays issue, that I knew in my heart that I could never offer my services to her and her family ever again. I told her it felt like I was stabbed in the heart and that I would be silly to allow anyone to ever have the chance to do that to me again. She started to cry and I said, I know this is going to sound horrible, but now you know how I felt yesterday. I am really sorry, but I am going to have to let you guys go and it will have to be today. I am going to get the kids stuff ready to go and you can pick it up any time tomorrow. She tried so hard to change my mind and I just said Im sorry, I can't. I am very proud of myself right now, but still feeling like poo....

thanks ladies for all of your help and support.... Having a contract and PHB has really paid off.
1st of all HUGS! I would be livid!! I feel so bad for you and your daughter it just leaves a lump in my throat! You did the right thing and I too would do the same. Personally I close at least 1 hour prior to a function just to be safe. I hope this never happens to you again.

I think your Daughter will understand how much you care with you doing everything possible to make up for it. I bet your Daughter is glad you let that family go huh?

Seems you have it under control now but I just wanted to say ITA with Meek! I had a Mother snap and go all nuts on me. 2 weeks later she called to apologize. I told her thank you but no the child could not come back due to her disreespect. She turned on me again. Your DCP may have realized how mush she NEEDS you and just be trying to smooch butt to get back. I wouldn't do it. But watch out for her revenge.

I hope all ends well for you!
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  #43  
Old 09-22-2011, 06:26 PM
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so dcm calls me about twenty min. Ago and asks if we could talk. She goes on to say how sorry she is and that when she got home she realized that she was the one in the wrong. She asked if she could drop off the kids and she would do anything she could to make it up to me and my daughter....lol offered me and my daughter a full day of services at her salon/spa. Dcm goes on and on about how bad she feels and i let her.

So when she is done, i tell her that she was the last person that i expected for this to ever happen with. I told her how horrible i felt and that i cried most of the night last night. I then told her that based off of yesterdays issue, that i knew in my heart that i could never offer my services to her and her family ever again. I told her it felt like i was stabbed in the heart and that i would be silly to allow anyone to ever have the chance to do that to me again. She started to cry and i said, i know this is going to sound horrible, but now you know how i felt yesterday. I am really sorry, but i am going to have to let you guys go and it will have to be today. I am going to get the kids stuff ready to go and you can pick it up any time tomorrow. She tried so hard to change my mind and i just said im sorry, i can't. I am very proud of myself right now, but still feeling like poo....

Thanks ladies for all of your help and support.... Having a contract and phb has really paid off.
good for you!!!!
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  #44  
Old 09-22-2011, 08:41 PM
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It sounded to me that the mom's apology was heart-felt, and I think I would have leaned more toward giving her the benefit of the doubt and accepted her apology and continued to work with her. Especially since prior to this she was a "good" parent. And since other ways to enjoy the daughter's performance had become available. Not criticizing OP who had to feel all the tension and emotions involved, and I know feeling that is hard - just saying that I'm the sort who tries to forgive parent lapses and to keep working with them. Which is easy for me to say, since I haven't run into anything like this myself - my parents continue to be great. It seems to me that "term them" is the advice most often given on here and I'm wondering if sometimes there might be other options offered that might be more helpful.
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  #45  
Old 09-22-2011, 09:26 PM
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So DCM calls me about twenty min. ago and asks if we could talk. She goes on to say how sorry she is and that when she got home she realized that she was the one in the wrong. She asked if she could drop off the kids and she would do anything she could to make it up to me and my daughter....lol offered me and my daughter a full day of services at her salon/spa. DCM goes on and on about how bad she feels and I let her.

So when she is done, I tell her that she was the last person that I expected for this to ever happen with. I told her how horrible I felt and that I cried most of the night last night. I then told her that based off of yesterdays issue, that I knew in my heart that I could never offer my services to her and her family ever again. I told her it felt like I was stabbed in the heart and that I would be silly to allow anyone to ever have the chance to do that to me again. She started to cry and I said, I know this is going to sound horrible, but now you know how I felt yesterday. I am really sorry, but I am going to have to let you guys go and it will have to be today. I am going to get the kids stuff ready to go and you can pick it up any time tomorrow. She tried so hard to change my mind and I just said Im sorry, I can't. I am very proud of myself right now, but still feeling like poo....

thanks ladies for all of your help and support.... Having a contract and PHB has really paid off.
I'm way proud of you too! Great job, girl!! *hugs*
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  #46  
Old 09-23-2011, 04:29 AM
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I think that I might be in trouble.
So yesterday was my daughter back to school night. I have missed back to school night for the last 5 years because of DC. Well this BSN, my daughter was asked to sing solo the National Anthem. The music class did a theme on different countries of the world, my daughter had a solo presentation of singing in French, Arabic and Gaelic. I was not going to miss it this year for anything.
So as normal, I informed the parents a month in advance. I sent out reminders weekly and posted it everywhere all over my house. I even sent a text the morning of the event that I would be closing early so I could attend this event. NOT one parent seemed to mind, no one said anything at all.
So yesterday I am getting ready to leave and I still have one families kids here. I called the parents 5 min before I was to leave to remind them again. I got no answer. I called both parents. Well I waited a total of 15 minutes and no one came. I was not going to go down the list of emergency contacts so as stated in my PHB/policies if you are not here to pick up your children on time and I have some where to be, I will take the kids with me. Well, I loaded up the kids in the car and off I went. I kept my phone on me and checked it often. Finally about 30 min. into the singing concert, my phone rings and it’s the DCM.. Boy is she mad.
Long story short, I end up having to leave the concert to take the kids to meet the mom out front of the school. I missed my daughters performance and the mom was so mad that she said that she will be turning me in?? UGH My emotions are all over the place and I am not too sure what I should do? BTW the kids are not here today and I have not called DCP to ask anything……
What should I do right now and why do I feel like I am at fault?
BTW even if the DC family forgives me, they are not welcome back here. They cost me something that I can never replace. Oh and my daughter was really upset when she told me she noticed that I had to get up and walk out in the middle of the concert and did not get to see her perform….She said “those kids robbed you of seeing me at my best again mom” I cried most of the night last night….
Based on that last line I'm gathering that this is not the first time these parents have let you down. It was time to end it.

I feel so bad for you and your daughter when it's evident that you are a very caring Mother.

If I'm putting 2&2 together properly, this is the mother that thinks nothing of missing her own daughters events. Her own isn't a priority with her so yours means even less.

I hope you get an excellent replacement.
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  #47  
Old 09-23-2011, 08:28 AM
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It could of been worse, you could have left them sitting on your doorstep, waiting for mom. (JK).
You having to take someone else's kids with you to a family function, is beyond your job and I hope you see what a good provider you are.
I would have called CPS to come get them.
Do not take this family back.
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  #48  
Old 09-23-2011, 11:06 AM
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It sounded to me that the mom's apology was heart-felt, and I think I would have leaned more toward giving her the benefit of the doubt and accepted her apology and continued to work with her. Especially since prior to this she was a "good" parent. And since other ways to enjoy the daughter's performance had become available. Not criticizing OP who had to feel all the tension and emotions involved, and I know feeling that is hard - just saying that I'm the sort who tries to forgive parent lapses and to keep working with them. Which is easy for me to say, since I haven't run into anything like this myself - my parents continue to be great. It seems to me that "term them" is the advice most often given on here and I'm wondering if sometimes there might be other options offered that might be more helpful.

I think that the OP did the right thing by not continuing to provide care for this family. It's not that the apology wasn't heartfelt, because it very well could have been. The point is that an apology doesn't automatically make things right. Apologies are band-aids, not cures.

The OP's daughter expressed how she felt about having her mom have to miss another thing because of the daycare kids and that would have been enough to term right there! Factor in the daycare parent having prior knowledge of what time that she needed to pick up her kid by and that she still wouldn't pick up on time. It doesn't matter if she was never late before and promised never to be late again, what matters is that the one time that it really & truly mattered to the OP and her family that all dcks be picked up on time, this parent ignored it. Then add in the extremely inappropriate behavior from the parent even though she knew that she was at fault. Yes, she apologized for it, but the damage was already done. "I'm sorry" doesn't erase any of it. Watching her daughter's solo on video instead of seeing it first hand is not the same. It's better than not seeing it at all, but it is nowhere near the same. The dcmom's reaction was so completely uncalled for that it went past being irrational and straight into being just downright crazy! That would be enough to result in a termination because I would constantly be in fear of that type of reaction any time that the mom didn't get her way. Who wants to deal with that? I think that sometimes parents will apologize for things like that and if the provider accepts the apology and lets the parent keep their kids enrolled, then it becomes easier for the parent to break policies or have irrational outbursts and think that since the apology worked the first time, it'll work again. I'm not saying that it's like that all of the time, but it does happen.

I think that while it's good that she apologized, there was way too much damage done to let the dcmom keep her kid there.
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  #49  
Old 09-23-2011, 11:47 AM
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I feel so bad for you. First you are worried you are going to miss out on something for your kids, then the parent immediately says they are going to report you... another whole form of worry. Why do parents always do that?

I know the mom appologized, but the hurtful works and lack of respect for you and your family in the first place tells you the character of this woman. I would have done the same thing.

Parents forget that you have a family and your kids are important to you too.

Good Luck to you!
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