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Old 10-22-2014, 07:03 AM
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Default Help for an Introvert

So I'm very much an introvert. I hate conflict and I hate having to tell parents when their child's behavior has been awful. With that said, I have a dcb who is almost 1 1/2. For the last 6 months, I have had a horrible time with him hitting and pulling hair and wanting to climb on the other kids. His sister doesn't mind him climbing on her, but my son doesn't like it a bit. I have expressed this to the parents and they say they are working on it.

It is not getting better at all. It's really hard to do anything with the kids because I'm dealing with dcb's behavior literally all day. Also, every day there is a 30 min fit at nap time.

I don't know what to do. I need to tell the parents that if this behavior doesn't stop, I can't watch him anymore. It's very stressful in our house during the day. I also have a part time child starting next month and can't have dcb hitting and pulling hair.

I need help in how to talk to the parents.
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Old 10-22-2014, 07:08 AM
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Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
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Why would you talk to the parent?

IME, This is something that you have to find a solution for. It happens in your house, on your time.

By discussing age appropriate behavior issues in group care with parents, you could be undermining your own programs reputation.

They don't do group care... only you do. What they do at home to manage this won't work in your environment.

You have to decide if keeping him is worth it, or not, for you. The parents have no place in this decision.

Personally, I'd look at the environment and figure out why the kids are acting out. Is there enough space, quiet places to be alone, enough toys, the type of toys kid likes... etc. It is a never ending cycle of re-evaluation. Sometimes nothing will help and the kid simply needs to be in a new environment. There is no shame or guilt in that.
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Old 10-22-2014, 10:04 AM
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SquirrellyMama SquirrellyMama is offline
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I don't think it is wrong to talk with the parents. They can at least back you up by speaking with their child about behavior. I don't have a solution for you, just sympathy and a

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Old 10-27-2014, 09:38 PM
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Default ok responding to your need not to tell but grow. Look up TASCEI

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
So I'm very much an introvert. I hate conflict and I hate having to tell parents when their child's behavior has been awful. With that said, I have a dcb who is almost 1 1/2. For the last 6 months, I have had a horrible time with him hitting (What is triggering this?) and pulling hair (be a detective here and find out if child might need more distance from others or is seeking) and wanting to climb on the other kids(sounds like he is seeking sensory experiences and needs to find another outlet.). His sister doesn't mind him climbing on her, but my son doesn't like it a bit (Your son will have to use words to tell him or if he cant use a hulahoop to create a boundary. Teach boundaries.). I have expressed this to the parents and they say they are working on it. Give parents a strategy to use at home if there environment is the same as what this kiddo is experiencing.

It is not getting better at all. It's really hard to do anything with the kids because I'm dealing with dcb's behavior literally all day. Also, every day there is a 30 min fit at nap time. HOW Does the boy sleep at home? No nap usually? If no nap then quiet skills need to be taught to respect others. This can also be expressed so that parents can teach this respecting of those that are sleeping. You can use gates to keep them from disturbing other sleepers. Show them a quite activity. Make sure to give them some of your focus and attention but make it clear that you have to..... to so they don't expect it all the time. Some kids sleep rhythms are different and they naturally don't nap

I don't know what to do. I need to tell the parents that if this behavior doesn't stop, I can't watch him anymore. It's very stressful in our house during the day. I also have a part time child starting next month and can't have dcb hitting and pulling hair. Hats work to if its happening at predictable moments in day.

I need help in how to talk to the parents.
TASCEI backpackers series has articles for parents.

Last edited by grateday; 10-27-2014 at 09:39 PM. Reason: look in post for reply
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