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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>New DCM Just Shows Up Early at My Door
Tasha 08:16 AM 03-17-2016
I am so angry right now and I don't know if it's justified. I got up at 6 this morning and saw that I had a text from a new dcm sent the night before when I was asleep. Couldn't read it without my contacts so I just jumped in the shower and then put them in. When I got out of the shower, I heard a banging on my front door, looked out and there was DCM and her kid. I remember the text so I go back to read it and she's TELLING me that she's dropping off DCG at 6:30 (instead of her normal 8 am dropoff) because she has a 7 am doctor's appointment. So I have wet hair and a robe on when I get to the door, and the little girl starts in with ''Where were you, we've been knocking!"
I told DCM that I didn't get the text until this morning and I need to approve any schedule changes. I might feel a little better if she was remotely apologetic, but she wasn't. I told her we'd discuss this at pickup and she said she was probably going to be a few minutes late because she'd get to work late this morning. I just told her to read the contract because late charges will apply... How would you handle this?
NillaWafers 08:33 AM 03-17-2016
Wow, did you take her at 6:30? I can't believe the nerve of some people. Since she's new, I would assume she doesn't realize that you don't work for her. I would just highlight the areas in her contract that talk about early and late drop offs and hand it to her.
daycarediva 08:48 AM 03-17-2016
I would have told her NO at the door.

"Sorry dcm, you did not notify me of your schedule change at least 24 hours in advance so I am unable to request your change." and then I would have told her "See you at 8!" and closed the door. NOPE. I only do schedule changes when I feel like it. I charge extra for them. I have a max # of hours and contracted times for a reason.

7 am doctor appt?

Not knowing about it until the night before?

Sounds like total BS to me.
Snowmom 09:18 AM 03-17-2016
Ohhhh heck no!
I wouldn't have been as nice as you were.

I wouldn't have opened the door and she would have gotten a return text AT OPENING that I do not accept drop ins and she is not allowed to drop off or pick up anytime beyond her contracted timeframe.
Thriftylady 09:45 AM 03-17-2016
I would have turned her away. A big part of the reason is she is new and didn't follow policy. I would be afraid this would become a habit if I let them in. I would let her know in no uncertain terms if this happened again I would term her on the spot.
nannyde 09:47 AM 03-17-2016
What doc opens at 7 am? Sounds like she either went in early to make up time for leaving to go to appointment or she had an appointment at Starbucks with her friends.

Why was it so hard to just say no to her?
Blackcat31 09:49 AM 03-17-2016
Originally Posted by nannyde:
What doc opens at 7 am? Sounds like she either went in early to make up time for leaving to go to appointment or she had an appointment at Starbucks with her friends.

Why was it so hard to just say no to her?
Our clinics are open at 7am here. So is my dentist
Tasha 10:55 AM 03-17-2016
Originally Posted by nannyde:
What doc opens at 7 am? Sounds like she either went in early to make up time for leaving to go to appointment or she had an appointment at Starbucks with her friends.

Why was it so hard to just say no to her?
It wasn't so hard to just say no to her. I opened the door because they were banging on it, and truthfully, I was just
stunned by the situation. She said that she had forgotten about the appointment until last night - and we do have doctors in this city who open super early to accommodate people who work, so I do believe that. She is coming from a center, where I guess early drop offs are allowed. I don't know. But I do know that we went over change of schedules during the interview and I stressed to her - and all my clients - that it is totally my discretion whether I can accommodate. She knows the rule and just didn't care or didn't think it would matter.
And I hate to say it, but the little girl annoyed me big-time, with her hand on her hip spouting off to me. Ugh. This is only their second week.
Blackcat31 09:46 AM 03-17-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I would have told her NO at the door.

"Sorry dcm, you did not notify me of your schedule change at least 24 hours in advance so I am unable to request your change." and then I would have told her "See you at 8!" and closed the door. NOPE. I only do schedule changes when I feel like it. I charge extra for them. I have a max # of hours and contracted times for a reason.

7 am doctor appt?

Not knowing about it until the night before?

Sounds like total BS to me.

laundrymom 10:02 AM 03-17-2016
Well. Water over the bridge now, charge her your biggest contractually allowed fee.
Text it to her::

Hey mom. Your fee for early drop off is ($$) and needs to be paid in cash at pick up or an additional fee will be charged. Care will not be resumed until it's paid.

Plus at pickup there would be a severe lecture about curtesy, respect, and procedure.
I might say something like,

"This mornings events will NOT be repeated. You had no confirmation of me even receiving your message, let alone knowledge of me being able to accommodate an early drop off. This is the only warning I will give. If this happens again I will answer the door with your child's belongings and care will be terminated immediately. Your extra fee for this morning is($$) and needs to be paid in full immediately. "
MunchkinWrangler 10:09 AM 03-17-2016
Oh no, not another one!!!! I would absolutely charge her and make care unavailable to her until it is paid. You need to set the tone with this one for sure. That is just plain unacceptable and I wouldn't allow for a late pickup either.
christine19720 07:58 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Well. Water over the bridge now, charge her your biggest contractually allowed fee.
Text it to her::

Hey mom. Your fee for early drop off is ($$) and needs to be paid in cash at pick up or an additional fee will be charged. Care will not be resumed until it's paid.

Plus at pickup there would be a severe lecture about curtesy, respect, and procedure.
I might say something like,

"This mornings events will NOT be repeated. You had no confirmation of me even receiving your message, let alone knowledge of me being able to accommodate an early drop off. This is the only warning I will give. If this happens again I will answer the door with your child's belongings and care will be terminated immediately. Your extra fee for this morning is($$) and needs to be paid in full immediately. "
This👍
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:41 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I would have told her NO at the door.

"Sorry dcm, you did not notify me of your schedule change at least 24 hours in advance so I am unable to request your change." and then I would have told her "See you at 8!" and closed the door. NOPE. I only do schedule changes when I feel like it. I charge extra for them. I have a max # of hours and contracted times for a reason.

7 am doctor appt?

Not knowing about it until the night before?

Sounds like total BS to me.
Bingo!
thrivingchildcarecom 12:04 PM 03-17-2016
Yeah this used to happen to me ALOT! I figured out a couple of ways to ensure it doesn't happen, at least not that often.

First of all, I try really hard not to react in the moment so that I don't loose control of the situation.

Second, I have a schedule change request form that I post on my website for the parents to submit for APPROVAL.

Third, I send out random reminders of contract terms, extended day fees, etc. There are a couple that I think this mom should see.

If you would like to see my form or the reminders I use, just send me a PM with your email and I would be happy to share.

BTW: You are so right to refer to your contract. The only thing is most parents don't seem to read those kinds of things.
Tasha 04:23 PM 03-17-2016
Well, she was 16 minutes late, and because she was late there were other parents here so I told her I would call her tonight to discuss today's debacle. It's clear now that she believes she is my boss. She told me that she didn't mean to upset me but she doesn't understand what the big deal is because I am a daycare, aren't I, and aren't we here to work with parents and their schedules? So we will be having a big discussion tonight.
NeedaVaca 04:32 PM 03-17-2016
Originally Posted by Tasha:
Well, she was 16 minutes late, and because she was late there were other parents here so I told her I would call her tonight to discuss today's debacle. It's clear now that she believes she is my boss. She told me that she didn't mean to upset me but she doesn't understand what the big deal is because I am a daycare, aren't I, and aren't we here to work with parents and their schedules? So we will be having a big discussion tonight.
Uh oh...Good Luck tonight, set her straight and fast or find someone else. Good grief...Can't wait to hear how this convo goes! I would be sure to let her know you aren't just a "daycare" but a business owner with a very clear contract that she just recently signed, did she even read it??
Thriftylady 04:40 PM 03-17-2016
Good luck tonight. Keep us updated.
Ariana 04:59 PM 03-17-2016
I charge $10 per hour outside my normal hours so if she gets dropped off at 6:30am when she is contracted for 8am then that is an extra $15 added to the daily fee, plus late fees for pickup.

Make it very clear to mom that you cannot operate the way a center does because there is one staff member. Centers rotate shifts so they can provide extended hours, but no staff member works more than 8 hours a day. Tell her you can accept her child outside of contracted hours for a fee with 24 hr notice at your discretion. You provide a service within a specific time frame. She can either adhere to the policies or go back to centre care.
Josiegirl 04:12 AM 03-18-2016
Originally Posted by Tasha:
Well, she was 16 minutes late, and because she was late there were other parents here so I told her I would call her tonight to discuss today's debacle. It's clear now that she believes she is my boss. She told me that she didn't mean to upset me but she doesn't understand what the big deal is because I am a daycare, aren't I, and aren't we here to work with parents and their schedules? So we will be having a big discussion tonight.
Oh boy. She's a fun one.
Replace replace replace. Because you KNOW these kinds of things will happen again with someone who feels this way.
Tasha 05:37 AM 03-18-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Oh boy. She's a fun one.
Replace replace replace. Because you KNOW these kinds of things will happen again with someone who feels this way.
I'm hoping to avoid that because it's such a process starting a new family. Sigh. But I'm afraid you're right. She texted me last night that she had unexpected company and was sorry she didn't have time to talk. I was sorry, too, that she couldn't manage to call. In my voicemail, I told her that she had to bring in cash for the late-fee and for the unscheduled hours. She should be here in a few minutes, so we'll see how it goes.
Unregistered 08:01 AM 03-18-2016
So how did it go???
Fiddlesticks 09:00 AM 03-18-2016
Originally Posted by Tasha:
She told me that she didn't mean to upset me but she doesn't understand what the big deal is because I am a daycare, aren't I, and aren't we here to work with parents and their schedules?
She didn't see what the big deal was even though you came to the door with wet hair and in a robe? I would not even discuss this with her further, I would terminate immediately, and I never term. That kind of disrespect would not fly with me at all.
Tasha 09:32 AM 03-18-2016
She came 10 mins early, which was good because it gave me time to talk to her while no other parents were around. She brought the money she owed me, but she wasn't happy at all because she thought I was really sticking it to her (her words). The experience yesterday cost her $55. She thought since it was her first time being late I'd give her a break! But I warned her yesterday morning, and she still was late, so...
I told her that it was irresponsible and disrespectful just to show up at my door when I didn't approve it ahead of time, and that I should never have - and will never happen again - accept her child under that circumstance. We left at loggerheads because she thinks that daycare providers need to ''work with'' working parents because they need flexibility. I suggested that perhaps what she needed was a nanny. It's very disheartening because I went over all of this during the interview process, and now she acts like she has no idea what I'm talking about. It wasn't a good conversation, and I just feel very yucky right now. I just gotta figure out now if I want to ditch her before she ditches me.
lovemykidstoo 09:37 AM 03-18-2016
Originally Posted by Tasha:
She came 10 mins early, which was good because it gave me time to talk to her while no other parents were around. She brought the money she owed me, but she wasn't happy at all because she thought I was really sticking it to her (her words). The experience yesterday cost her $55. She thought since it was her first time being late I'd give her a break! But I warned her yesterday morning, and she still was late, so...
I told her that it was irresponsible and disrespectful just to show up at my door when I didn't approve it ahead of time, and that I should never have - and will never happen again - accept her child under that circumstance. We left at loggerheads because she thinks that daycare providers need to ''work with'' working parents because they need flexibility. I suggested that perhaps what she needed was a nanny. It's very disheartening because I went over all of this during the interview process, and now she acts like she has no idea what I'm talking about. It wasn't a good conversation, and I just feel very yucky right now. I just gotta figure out now if I want to ditch her before she ditches me.
So by "work with" she means do it her way? Maybe if she would have told you ahead of time that she needed to be early, you would have "worked with her". Some people. grrr
Blackcat31 09:37 AM 03-18-2016
Originally Posted by Tasha:
She came 10 mins early, which was good because it gave me time to talk to her while no other parents were around. She brought the money she owed me, but she wasn't happy at all because she thought I was really sticking it to her (her words). The experience yesterday cost her $55. She thought since it was her first time being late I'd give her a break! But I warned her yesterday morning, and she still was late, so...
I told her that it was irresponsible and disrespectful just to show up at my door when I didn't approve it ahead of time, and that I should never have - and will never happen again - accept her child under that circumstance. We left at loggerheads because she thinks that daycare providers need to ''work with'' working parents because they need flexibility. I suggested that perhaps what she needed was a nanny. It's very disheartening because I went over all of this during the interview process, and now she acts like she has no idea what I'm talking about. It wasn't a good conversation, and I just feel very yucky right now. I just gotta figure out now if I want to ditch her before she ditches me.
I agree with her....but I won't work for free.

I would tell her she has two options. Schedule AND pay for the time she needs ahead of time so she isn't late or early or continue to pay the fee for non-scheduled over time.

I would explain it to her that way too....she would not provide her employer with free services or clock in with out expecting her paycheck to reflect the work she has done so why is she expecting that from you?
Tasha 09:35 AM 03-18-2016
Originally Posted by Fiddlesticks:
She didn't see what the big deal was even though you came to the door with wet hair and in a robe? I would not even discuss this with her further, I would terminate immediately, and I never term. That kind of disrespect would not fly with me at all.
Nope. She has a big corporate job and obviously thinks her time is a whole lot more important than mine.
Blackcat31 09:39 AM 03-18-2016
Originally Posted by Tasha:
Nope. She has a big corporate job and obviously thinks her time is a whole lot more important than mine.
haha on her.... because YOU can still work with out her but she can't work without you so who's job is more important?!?!
Tasha 07:47 PM 03-17-2016
Originally Posted by thrivingchildcarecom:
Yeah this used to happen to me ALOT! I figured out a couple of ways to ensure it doesn't happen, at least not that often.

First of all, I try really hard not to react in the moment so that I don't loose control of the situation.

Second, I have a schedule change request form that I post on my website for the parents to submit for APPROVAL.

Third, I send out random reminders of contract terms, extended day fees, etc. There are a couple that I think this mom should see.

If you would like to see my form or the reminders I use, just send me a PM with your email and I would be happy to share.

BTW: You are so right to refer to your contract. The only thing is most parents don't seem to read those kinds of things.
Yes, would love to see the forms!
NightOwl 03:58 PM 03-18-2016
When did she arrive Tasha? What happened? I'm dying to know.
Tasha 04:23 PM 03-18-2016
She arrived at 5:30 on the dot. I'm sorry, I've had to spend the last few minutes after she left collecting myself because my heart is racing so fast.
She comes rushing in and before I even say anything, she blurts out, ''I've got to change my hours. This isn't working.'' I said, you're right. You owe me $39. I cannot believe you did this again today, and I cannot believe you did not even call. She asks if I am really going to charge her for that because it's clear she's rushing from work and can't make it by 5 every day! So she says that she is going to just change her hours to 6 pm! I tell her I have no intention of working until 6 each night and that she cannot just unilaterally decide what her hours are going to be, and just decide that it is A-OK for her to show up 30 minutes late (even though obviously it's not a financial hardship). I had put her DD on the couch and turned on the Disney Channel while she waited and DCM had the nerve to side-eye the TV! She handed me two $20s and said that she is going to go home and talk to her husband and try and figure out her hours. I told her that was fine because I just wanted her gone. There is nobody else here and I didn't want to term that loon with just us in the house. She seemed very hurried but she certainly wasn't upset like I was. And she never apologized.
And now I have got to calm down.
childcaremom 04:33 PM 03-18-2016
Big breath.

It clearly is not a good fit. She needs a daycare that is open longer than you are willing to be. And that is exactly the reason I would give her when/if you term. There is nothing wrong with her needing longer care, you just aren't the provider that is able to do that for her.

Thank goodness for trial periods!
daycare 05:13 PM 03-18-2016
years ago I had a family that signed with me because i was almost $120 cheaper than the center they were using. I THOUGHT I made it very clear to her that I would only be woking on contracted hours that we agreed to when they enrolled. Hints why we are that much cheaper.

Well day 1 she was 30 min late, I let it slide (mistake) day 2 she was 20 min late, $20. Every day it was something else either early or late and by the end of the week she had paid me more in late fees that she would have paid the center. She didn't make it to week 2.

I would leave things for now since you are so worked up, but I would type up an email on Sunday and tell her that either after much thought you realized you guys are not the right fit or you will give her another chance, but she will not be late or early one more time. If she is, you will term on the spot.
Tasha 05:37 PM 03-18-2016
Originally Posted by daycare:
years ago I had a family that signed with me because i was almost $120 cheaper than the center they were using. I THOUGHT I made it very clear to her that I would only be woking on contracted hours that we agreed to when they enrolled. Hints why we are that much cheaper.

Well day 1 she was 30 min late, I let it slide (mistake) day 2 she was 20 min late, $20. Every day it was something else either early or late and by the end of the week she had paid me more in late fees that she would have paid the center. She didn't make it to week 2.
I would leave things for now since you are so worked up, but I would type up an email on Sunday and tell her that either after much thought you realized you guys are not the right fit or you will give her another chance, but she will not be late or early one more time. If she is, you will term on the spot.
I am very embarrassed because I did start to get really worked up while she was here. So when I said I needed her to leave, I meant it. I could feel my voice begin to tighten, and I started to get shrill. I just became so exasperated because it was like we were talking past each other. She is just clueless, and I think she is very used to getting her own way.
NightOwl 10:40 PM 03-18-2016
I once heard someone ask a psychiatrist to help them understand why they are always late. The psychiatrist said he could explain it but she wouldn't like the answer. She wanted to hear it anyway.

He said you're always late because you're selfish. Primping is more important, stopping by the store is more important, working a few minutes late is more important to you than anyone else's time. You think that what you need to do is more important than what anyone else needs to do. You think your time is more valuable. IT'S NOT. She had no reply.

This woman does not value you or your time. Cut her loose.
Josiegirl 02:46 AM 03-19-2016
After reading Glitter's input, I'm wondering if you were to sit this woman down, and have an honest open discussion with her so she could understand your side of it; do you think anything would change. Try to approach with a calm attitude, making her see the situation from your viewpoint. Maybe you could be the voice of reason for the selfish dcm who only sees her own importance.
I'm not sure *I* could or would do it but it's just a thought and another way to approach this, especially if terming isn't the best thing for you.
Glitter took a good look inside and saw how her attitude affected others and just possibly this dcm might too.
Kudos to you Glitter for being upfront, honest and making positive changes. That's not an easy thing to do.
Blackcat31 08:10 AM 03-19-2016
I dont think its right to make this mom out to be so "evil" lol!

Some people are just like that and it doesnt make her better or worse than the rest of us since we all have our issues and less than perfect qualities.

The issue I see is that Tasha and her program are simply not the right fit for her.

Tasha is like a pair of size 6 shoes and the mom needs a size 8. NOTHING wrong with a size 6 or a size 8 they just arent interchangeable.

The mom comes across as disrespectful (and she is) but from everything Tasha has posted it seems its not a personal action... Just how this mom is I guess.

I wouldn't give 3 seconds of my time trying to change her (shrinks get paid the big bucks and take years to successfully change people ).... I would just let her go.

Tasha's program isn't the right fit.
Tasha 09:57 AM 03-19-2016
Haha. I don't think she's ''evil'' either; I just think she is totally self-involved that she thinks the world revolves around her and her schedule. When she announced that she was going to change her schedule permanently from 5 to 6 pm, I thought it was very telling that she didn't mention at all (or I'm sure take into consideration) that her DD would be here an extra hour (a 10-hour day) without any other kids, and the effect that would have on her.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to term. My only hesitancy is replacing her. I dread acclimating a new family. I really have had lousy luck this last year with new parents.
lovemykidstoo 11:50 AM 03-19-2016
Originally Posted by Tasha:
Haha. I don't think she's ''evil'' either; I just think she is totally self-involved that she thinks the world revolves around her and her schedule. When she announced that she was going to change her schedule permanently from 5 to 6 pm, I thought it was very telling that she didn't mention at all (or I'm sure take into consideration) that her DD would be here an extra hour (a 10-hour day) without any other kids, and the effect that would have on her.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to term. My only hesitancy is replacing her. I dread acclimating a new family. I really have had lousy luck this last year with new parents.


I'm trying to catch up again. So to clear it up in my head, the mom originally contracted with you a 8-5 schedule? if that's the case, then what time does she get out of work and how far away does she work? What time do you have kids until? For instance I have kids from 7:30-5:15. So if she was contracted with me until 4:30, but she couldn't get here in time for whatever reason, I could change her contact to 5:15 and add $ to her contract if I chose. Iwould not however, change it to 5:30 because I don't have kids that late. Now if she needs until 6:00, but you don't take kids after 5:00 then she just obviously needs to go somewhere else.
CityGarden 07:01 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

Tasha is like a pair of size 6 shoes and the mom needs a size 8. NOTHING wrong with a size 6 or a size 8 they just arent interchangeable.

The mom comes across as disrespectful (and she is) but from everything Tasha has posted it seems its not a personal action... Just how this mom is I guess.

I wouldn't give 3 seconds of my time trying to change her (shrinks get paid the big bucks and take years to successfully change people ).... I would just let her go.

Tasha's program isn't the right fit.
I was thinking the same thing as above, she is just not a right fit for your program. I am sure in the right set up she would be a fine client but she is not the client for you.
Tasha 10:01 AM 03-19-2016
Originally Posted by NightOwl:
I once heard someone ask a psychiatrist to help them understand why they are always late. The psychiatrist said he could explain it but she wouldn't like the answer. She wanted to hear it anyway.

He said you're always late because you're selfish. Primping is more important, stopping by the store is more important, working a few minutes late is more important to you than anyone else's time. You think that what you need to do is more important than what anyone else needs to do. You think your time is more valuable. IT'S NOT. She had no reply.

This woman does not value you or your time. Cut her loose.
I think you are 100 percent on-target. I had a friend who was habitually late for dinner dates, movies or whatever we planned to do. So finally I told her that the subtext of her constant tardiness was her belief that her time was more important than mine. That my time didn't matter. Once I put it to her that way, she got a lot better showing up on time. Not perfect, but much better.
NightOwl 11:08 AM 03-19-2016
Originally Posted by Tasha:
I think you are 100 percent on-target. I had a friend who was habitually late for dinner dates, movies or whatever we planned to do. So finally I told her that the subtext of her constant tardiness was her belief that her time was more important than mine. That my time didn't matter. Once I put it to her that way, she got a lot better showing up on time. Not perfect, but much better.
And sometimes, that's what they need to hear because they honestly don't realize it.
Josiegirl 11:28 AM 03-19-2016
BC, while I agree with you that Tasha's program and this woman probably are not a good fit, I also believe we can sometimes be quick to suggest terming when we're on this side of the screen. I was just offering another option if terming was an issue. Quite possibly a simple conversation with this woman might be all that's needed for her eyes to be opened. And quite possibly not.
Thriftylady 11:42 AM 03-19-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
BC, while I agree with you that Tasha's program and this woman probably are not a good fit, I also believe we can sometimes be quick to suggest terming when we're on this side of the screen. I was just offering another option if terming was an issue. Quite possibly a simple conversation with this woman might be all that's needed for her eyes to be opened. And quite possibly not.
I would agree with that in some cases. For me, in this case I wouldn't. Tasha already feels walked on and disrespected. For ME, I wouldn't be able to move on from that, I just don't do that well. If Tasha can, then it may work.
Blackcat31 03:07 PM 03-19-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
BC, while I agree with you that Tasha's program and this woman probably are not a good fit, I also believe we can sometimes be quick to suggest terming when we're on this side of the screen. I was just offering another option if terming was an issue. Quite possibly a simple conversation with this woman might be all that's needed for her eyes to be opened. And quite possibly not.
I didn't mean to imply you specifically were labeling this mom or calling her evil.... I'm sorry if it came across that way.

I was just speaking in general about the tone of the thread.

Your posts are always great because you always try to give the poster a positive real life solution!
NightOwl 07:07 PM 03-20-2016
A plan for morning is essential. Can you keep your door closed/locked in between drop offs?

I'm not sure what was in your note to her, but it might not hurt to send an email reiterating that your business relationship has ended, therefore her phone calls will not be answered and her child is no longer enrolled. That may put the nail in the coffin on the possibility of her trying to show up tomorrow.
NightOwl 07:09 PM 03-20-2016
And update us early! You know we'll all be waiting.
Unregistered 07:13 PM 03-20-2016
I've been lurking this whole thread and I must admit a few comments were funny. Wow. Are you guys serious? What do you think this woman is going to do? Comparing her to a abusive husband and threatening legal actions? This is ridiculous. I hope the mom doesn't show up and the OP is glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes them jump. This is really just bizarre.
SnowGirl 07:20 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I've been lurking this whole thread and I must admit a few comments were funny. Wow. Are you guys serious? What do you think this woman is going to do? Comparing her to a abusive husband and threatening legal actions? This is ridiculous. I hope the mom doesn't show up and the OP is glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes them jump. This is really just bizarre.
Sadly, I think there are good reasons so many daycare providers worry about this type of behavior from some people. It comes from experience, not paranoia.

The same reason companies have to have contingency plans for disgruntled employees. Childcare relationships gone sour can get dangerous. Sad, but true. And we have several small children to protect when we worry about disgruntled parents. To mock that worry is in really poor taste.
Heidi 07:28 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I've been lurking this whole thread and I must admit a few comments were funny. Wow. Are you guys serious? What do you think this woman is going to do? Comparing her to a abusive husband and threatening legal actions? This is ridiculous. I hope the mom doesn't show up and the OP is glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes them jump. This is really just bizarre.
So...you understand Murphy's Law, right? The thing that you're most prepared for is the thing LEAST likely to happen. So, Tasha, PREPARE!

Unfortunately, being alone at home with a bunch of little kids and making anyone mad can be a problem. Truth is, she'll probably just call licensing and make up crap. But, I don't think it would hurt to be prepared for a scene.
Unregistered 07:36 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Heidi:
So...you understand Murphy's Law, right? The thing that you're most prepared for is the thing LEAST likely to happen. So, Tasha, PREPARE!

Unfortunately, being alone at home with a bunch of little kids and making anyone mad can be a problem. Truth is, she'll probably just call licensing and make up crap. But, I don't think it would hurt to be prepared for a scene.
That's the whole thing. A scene. Just lock the door, call the cops, and crank up music so the kids won't hear. I mean you guys are acting like the OP needs a bullet proof vest. If this lady is really a professional at a corporate job, she has passed a background check and I'm guessing she's not going to like go around throwing rocks at your windows or something worse. I'm pretty sure dcm isn't going to lose her job over this. I.e. do something to get arrested.
MunchkinWrangler 07:53 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
That's the whole thing. A scene. Just lock the door, call the cops, and crank up music so the kids won't hear. I mean you guys are acting like the OP needs a bullet proof vest. If this lady is really a professional at a corporate job, she has passed a background check and I'm guessing she's not going to like go around throwing rocks at your windows or something worse. I'm pretty sure dcm isn't going to lose her job over this. I.e. do something to get arrested.
The point is that we, as daycare providers, need to protect the children from any and all adult situations. Period. It would not be appropriate for this mom to show up in the first place but sadly, it happens. A child should never have to witness this or be in that type of environment. Because of the DCM's actions, it is actually our job to prepare for any type of situation that would lead to someone showing up to cause a scene in which case we are told to call 911 because it is trespassing and our duty to prevent a possible arrogant action of a disgruntled former client. Which has happened, sadly. Passing a background check donesn't provide a basis for unruly behavior which would be expected with the fact that this mom has already harassed OP with incessant phone calls throughout the day. Tasha I would document this and let licensing know everything that has transpired since your formal termination.
Josiegirl 02:23 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
That's the whole thing. A scene. Just lock the door, call the cops, and crank up music so the kids won't hear. I mean you guys are acting like the OP needs a bullet proof vest. If this lady is really a professional at a corporate job, she has passed a background check and I'm guessing she's not going to like go around throwing rocks at your windows or something worse. I'm pretty sure dcm isn't going to lose her job over this. I.e. do something to get arrested.
People crack. Hence, wronged employees shooting the boss that fired them. It happens. Maybe you ought to watch the news sometime? Even my small town of 6K had a former resident(member of house of representatives for our state no less)hire someone to set fire to a building of his(for insurance and not the first time either!), then had a guy killed to shut the whole matter up. You never know what someone is capable of. I don't give a hoot what a background check says, it doesn't say it all. What a naive statement. Maybe nothing will ever come of this and I'm 99.9% sure nobody is saying anything to scare Tasha intentionally but to make sure she's prepared. DCM brought this all upon herself. Not another person to blame but herself.
Tasha 07:43 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I've been lurking this whole thread and I must admit a few comments were funny. Wow. Are you guys serious? What do you think this woman is going to do? Comparing her to a abusive husband and threatening legal actions? This is ridiculous. I hope the mom doesn't show up and the OP is glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes them jump. This is really just bizarre.
You hope I am glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes me and the children jump? You wish that on me? I think that is really bizarre. I don't think there is anything wrong with being prepared on the off-chance she does show up. Something is wrong with a person who calls incessantly, more than 8 times (that I know of) with no one answering. I don't think she's a bad person, and it's not my intention to vilify her. I just think she is used to calling all the shots, and she is not used to not getting her own way. And given her loud and obnoxious behavior on Friday, I do think everybody is giving me good advice about how to deal with her. And I really appreciate it.
Heidi 07:47 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Tasha:
You hope I am glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes me and the children jump? You wish that on me? I think that is really bizarre. I don't think there is anything wrong with being prepared on the off-chance she does show up. Something is wrong with a person who calls incessantly, more than 8 times (that I know of) with no one answering. I don't think she's a bad person, and it's not my intention to vilify her. I just think she is used to calling all the shots, and she is not used to not getting her own way. And given her loud and obnoxious behavior on Friday, I do think everybody is giving me good advice about how to deal with her. And I really appreciate it.


She's having a temper tantrum. Hopefully, it's played itself out.
Unregistered 07:50 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Tasha:
You hope I am glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes me and the children jump? You wish that on me? I think that is really bizarre. I don't think there is anything wrong with being prepared on the off-chance she does show up. Something is wrong with a person who calls incessantly, more than 8 times (that I know of) with no one answering. I don't think she's a bad person, and it's not my intention to vilify her. I just think she is used to calling all the shots, and she is not used to not getting her own way. And given her loud and obnoxious behavior on Friday, I do think everybody is giving me good advice about how to deal with her. And I really appreciate it.
I'm sure you "appreciate" it. You went from victim to star of this story. I'm really wondering how true half of this. I'm betting we'll get an update tomorrow about how she came, pounded on the door, threatened your life, and the police hauled her to the looney bin. Just came with a straight jacket. Maybe you can right for soap operas. No really, the last time I saw a storyline this crazy was in a Tyler Perry movie and he's getting Oprah money now.
Heidi 07:53 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm sure you "appreciate" it. You went from victim to star of this story. I'm really wondering how true half of this. I'm betting we'll get an update tomorrow about how she came, pounded on the door, threatened your life, and the police hauled her to the looney bin. Just came with a straight jacket. Maybe you can right for soap operas. No really, the last time I saw a storyline this crazy was in a Tyler Perry movie and he's getting Oprah money now.
Big Meanie!
MunchkinWrangler 08:01 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm sure you "appreciate" it. You went from victim to star of this story. I'm really wondering how true half of this. I'm betting we'll get an update tomorrow about how she came, pounded on the door, threatened your life, and the police hauled her to the looney bin. Just came with a straight jacket. Maybe you can right for soap operas. No really, the last time I saw a storyline this crazy was in a Tyler Perry movie and he's getting Oprah money now.
Shame on you! This is a safe place for her to ask for advice and get some support. I don't know who you are but frankly, you have no idea what you are talking about. And if you were a concerned parent we would take that just as serious. You are terribly rude.
midaycare 08:02 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm sure you "appreciate" it. You went from victim to star of this story. I'm really wondering how true half of this. I'm betting we'll get an update tomorrow about how she came, pounded on the door, threatened your life, and the police hauled her to the looney bin. Just came with a straight jacket. Maybe you can right for soap operas. No really, the last time I saw a storyline this crazy was in a Tyler Perry movie and he's getting Oprah money now.
I think dcm found you online and it's time to move this to off topic.
MissAnn 08:18 PM 03-20-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm sure you "appreciate" it. You went from victim to star of this story. I'm really wondering how true half of this. I'm betting we'll get an update tomorrow about how she came, pounded on the door, threatened your life, and the police hauled her to the looney bin. Just came with a straight jacket. Maybe you can right for soap operas. No really, the last time I saw a storyline this crazy was in a Tyler Perry movie and he's getting Oprah money now.
Can someone block unregistered? I'm getting a headache.
NightOwl 04:37 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm sure you "appreciate" it. You went from victim to star of this story. I'm really wondering how true half of this. I'm betting we'll get an update tomorrow about how she came, pounded on the door, threatened your life, and the police hauled her to the looney bin. Just came with a straight jacket. Maybe you can right for soap operas. No really, the last time I saw a storyline this crazy was in a Tyler Perry movie and he's getting Oprah money now.
#1 GRAMMAR
#2 If you have no idea what you're talking about, it's best to not comment because practically everyone here has had some negative experience that makes us cautious. Is there a such thing as being too cautious when you have a house full of littles? NO.
lovemykidstoo 04:28 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by Tasha:
You hope I am glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes me and the children jump? You wish that on me? I think that is really bizarre. I don't think there is anything wrong with being prepared on the off-chance she does show up. Something is wrong with a person who calls incessantly, more than 8 times (that I know of) with no one answering. I don't think she's a bad person, and it's not my intention to vilify her. I just think she is used to calling all the shots, and she is not used to not getting her own way. And given her loud and obnoxious behavior on Friday, I do think everybody is giving me good advice about how to deal with her. And I really appreciate it.

She's like 1/2 the kids today, she doesn't know what to do when someone tells her NO! You are 100% in the right and don't let some person hiding behind "unregistered" tell you different.
LysesKids 03:58 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I've been lurking this whole thread and I must admit a few comments were funny. Wow. Are you guys serious? What do you think this woman is going to do? Comparing her to a abusive husband and threatening legal actions? This is ridiculous. I hope the mom doesn't show up and the OP is glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes them jump. This is really just bizarre.
I have had it happen... in fact my last termination was because I was threatened by the child's father (and yes it included threats of doing whatever it took to shut me down and get me kicked out of my home - inc calling CPS, the state & attorneys because I refused to refund a non refundable payment); He didn't sign the contract but mom did (they're not married); I have had to call 911 twice in 16 years, both times for being threatened by a man. I was an abused spouse too back in the mid 80's, so I get wanting to feel safe in your home - the safety of the babies is also a concern.
Unregistered 09:23 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I've been lurking this whole thread and I must admit a few comments were funny. Wow. Are you guys serious? What do you think this woman is going to do? Comparing her to a abusive husband and threatening legal actions? This is ridiculous. I hope the mom doesn't show up and the OP is glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes them jump. This is really just bizarre.
Originally Posted by Heidi:
So...you understand Murphy's Law, right? The thing that you're most prepared for is the thing LEAST likely to happen. So, Tasha, PREPARE!

Unfortunately, being alone at home with a bunch of little kids and making anyone mad can be a problem. Truth is, she'll probably just call licensing and make up crap. But, I don't think it would hurt to be prepared for a scene.
Really?

And just know, sometimes, parents turn into nutzos.

When I was a licensed provider, after I refused care (parents owed me money) the dad came on my property and threatened to harm me and my family. This stuff is real. I had to call police. After I got the dad off property, I called licensing. No surprise, they called licensing and made up a bunch of stuff and of course, I was investigated, and it was all unfounded (duh, I hadn't done anything)

appx 4 months later, another provider in another city called me gravely concerned for the youngest girl, who she now had in her care...


turns out dad was a child molester/abuser.

Lots of things happened, apparently, in those 4 months, and that provider, too, was threatened to be harmed all because she called an ambulance when the girl was hemmorrhaging after what was believed to be an incident of abuse. She contacted me as she wanted to know if I witnessed any abuse. It hadn't occurred to me at the time, but there were lots of weeks where they simply didn't show up with their kids. At the time, I thought nothing of it, but thinking back on it after that call, I began to wonder if all that missed time was due to some abuse happening. (mind you, this all happened BEFORE I got extremely strict on my contracts and had a backbone)

Yeah, people are CRAZY, so for the one who questions why providers get nervous,

Wish you would have been there and witnessed what happened to me. Then you'd shut your mouth.
NightOwl 07:47 AM 03-21-2016
Taaaaasha....
lovemykidstoo 08:01 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by NightOwl:
Taaaaasha....
I just noticed you're from alabama? Where are you there? We're going to Gulf Shores next week for spring break!
NightOwl 08:04 AM 03-21-2016
I'm very, very North in a little town called Ardmore just outside of Huntsville. Only about 5 miles from the Tennessee state line. The Gulf is beautiful!

Try to hit the Gulf State Park Pier and also get dinner one night at Lulu's. The owner is Jimmy Buffet's sister. It's an open air restaurant right on a lagoon. Great food too.
lovemykidstoo 08:21 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by NightOwl:
I'm very, very North in a little town called Ardmore just outside of Huntsville. Only about 5 miles from the Tennessee state line. The Gulf is beautiful!

Try to hit the Gulf State Park Pier and also get dinner one night at Lulu's. The owner is Jimmy Buffet's sister. It's an open air restaurant right on a lagoon. Great food too.
I just did a thread in Off Topics about our trip.
WAHMderful_Life 08:58 AM 03-21-2016
Omg what a nightmare. A Parent acting like a spoiled child. I bet her child was better behaved then her.

Daring to show up that early is just beyond rude. Then daring to come at pick up and tell me that they have decided to change there hrs to 6 Bahahaha, I may have actually laughed in their face. Then If I had gotten an email like that omg would my blood have boiled. I would have termed them just as fast and would have stated that there are lots of other people who need childcare and that would appreciate a spot. As for the phone calls I would have picked up the phone and just hung it up or hit ignore. if she kept calling a million times I would block her but I only have a cell so thats easy to do.

Makes me think that a meme needs to be made about this. Jane disrespect her daycare provider. Jane no longer has childcare. Don't be like jane.
lovemydaycare0912 09:27 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by WAHMderful_Life:
Omg what a nightmare. A Parent acting like a spoiled child. I bet her child was better behaved then her.

Daring to show up that early is just beyond rude. Then daring to come at pick up and tell me that they have decided to change there hrs to 6 Bahahaha, I may have actually laughed in their face. Then If I had gotten an email like that omg would my blood have boiled. I would have termed them just as fast and would have stated that there are lots of other people who need childcare and that would appreciate a spot. As for the phone calls I would have picked up the phone and just hung it up or hit ignore. if she kept calling a million times I would block her but I only have a cell so thats easy to do.

Makes me think that a meme needs to be made about this. Jane disrespect her daycare provider. Jane no longer has childcare. Don't be like jane.
Don't be like Jane. ahhahahahhahhahahahahahaha
Rockgirl 11:49 AM 03-21-2016
These situations are almost always avoidable! How? Parents should enroll their child in a daycare program that operates within hours and policies that work for them. As in, the hours and policies work as they are already. Too many times, they sign up with hopes (or expectations) that they can have things changed to fit them.
Heidi 12:21 PM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
These situations are almost always avoidable! How? Parents should enroll their child in a daycare program that operates within hours and policies that work for them. As in, the hours and policies work as they are already. Too many times, they sign up with hopes (or expectations) that they can have things changed to fit them.

well, women sometimes marry men with that same attitude!
momofboys 06:43 PM 03-21-2016
Update when you can, Tasha! I hope all is okay!
Josiegirl 02:53 AM 03-22-2016
Well darn. I DO hope you're okay Tasha. An event like this can frazzle a person big time and cause lots of problems. Hope that's not the case.
MissAnn 08:45 AM 03-22-2016
I keep checking back. I really worry about people in here! It's as bad as waiting on my kids to call and my mind goes all kinds of places. Hope she posts soon!
NightOwl 12:18 PM 03-21-2016
Dang it, Tasha! Where's the update?
NightOwl 08:53 AM 03-22-2016
Me too, it's driving me nuts. I hope everything is OK.
daycare 09:45 AM 03-22-2016
especially after reading the Parent attacks post from BC.

and didn't one of the unregistered on here say that we are crazy for thinking of being proactive and having a plan in case something like this was going to happen?? Or am I just reading too much ...lol
SnowGirl 09:51 AM 03-22-2016
Originally Posted by daycare:
especially after reading the Parent attacks post from BC.

and didn't one of the unregistered on here say that we are crazy for thinking of being proactive and having a plan in case something like this was going to happen?? Or am I just reading too much ...lol
If you're reading too much into it then I am too!

Tasha, I completely understand if you want to put this whole thing to rest and not talk about it anymore. If you could let us know you're okay, though, whenever you have a chance. Praying for you xoxo
MotherNature 10:10 PM 03-23-2016
Sooo,,,are you ok? What happened?
Mariahsaint 07:43 AM 03-25-2016
Kinda getting worried now. :/

I hope everything is okay.
NightOwl 01:45 PM 03-25-2016
Agree with thrifty. Some may call it mob mentality, I call it sticking up for one another when one who is very familiar is being attacked and called a liar by an unknown person.

Unregistered, you have to see that Tasha has been on this forum for quite some time, but as "Unregistered", you are one of many. Even if you are a regular poster, we have no way of knowing that because you do not have an identifiable name and no track record.

So from our perspective, a regular member was being trash talked by an Unregistered troll. It's just a matter of perception and that's what most of us perceived.

IMHO, and plenty of other do not share this opinion, if you want more credence, more respect, more attention paid to your posts, way less assumptions that you're a troll, then put your name on it.
Rockgirl 01:50 PM 03-25-2016
We can hash out this topic for days....wait, already have! But why? If Tasha chooses to come back and update, she will, but isn't this getting old? Maybe we should put it on the back burner....just a suggestion.
SnowGirl 02:03 PM 03-25-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
We can hash out this topic for days....wait, already have! But why? If Tasha chooses to come back and update, she will, but isn't this getting old? Maybe we should put it on the back burner....just a suggestion.
Now we're debating whether or not we were unfair to "unregistered"...the debate has evolved. Sigh.

Anyway, you're right. Time to put this topic to rest.
Ariana 05:08 PM 03-25-2016
I personally think that Tasha picked up the phone, chatted with the mom and they worked something out. Maybe she feels she can't tell us that.

I have also been on forums where a lot of crazy stuff was going on behind the scenes that I was completely oblivious too!

Either way, hopefully it's all good
Thriftylady 05:16 PM 03-25-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I personally think that Tasha picked up the phone, chatted with the mom and they worked something out. Maybe she feels she can't tell us that.

I have also been on forums where a lot of crazy stuff was going on behind the scenes that I was completely oblivious too!

Either way, hopefully it's all good

I wish that happened and she would tell us how it worked out. So we could learn a new way to handle things if we need to later on!
Tags:early arrival, late fee, parents - ask too much, passive aggressive
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