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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Who Loses Parents for Provider Taking Off?
tntsmom 07:15 AM 05-03-2016
So, I have had a family since 2014 and I send home a monthly newsletter explaining if days off are needed, whats going on, donations, etc. Long story short, this family I have always been especially close to and their children are loved like my own. I have taken them home or picked them up when dad hurt his back and stayed home, let mom who gets off at 12:30 on Fridays take her afternoon to herself and even work an hour extra at no charge so dad can go to school. I took off this thursday and friday to have a garage sale, much needed and she phoned me this morning and said the kids are not coming back because she needs someone more reliable. I was closing on Fridays for the summer at 1:30 because all my parents are off, guess what, she did not like it, she lost her free time. Should I take this personal or consider it uanappreciated? I am so sad, I was so, so close to the boys.
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Thriftylady 07:21 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by tntsmom:
So, I have had a family since 2014 and I send home a monthly newsletter explaining if days off are needed, whats going on, donations, etc. Long story short, this family I have always been especially close to and their children are loved like my own. I have taken them home or picked them up when dad hurt his back and stayed home, let mom who gets off at 12:30 on Fridays take her afternoon to herself and even work an hour extra at no charge so dad can go to school. I took off this thursday and friday to have a garage sale, much needed and she phoned me this morning and said the kids are not coming back because she needs someone more reliable. I was closing on Fridays for the summer at 1:30 because all my parents are off, guess what, she did not like it, she lost her free time. Should I take this personal or consider it uanappreciated? I am so sad, I was so, so close to the boys.
Well I would try not to take it personal, but I know that is hard. She wants someone who will cater to her and her needs. You have done what I do and given a lot to this family. Now she is told no, and she doesn't like it. Some people only care about themselves and will seek out only what is best for them.
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lovemydaycare0912 07:38 AM 05-03-2016
Don't take it personal. I know how it is to be so close to a dck. We have to learn families will come and go. She needs someone that will cater to what she wants. When she's lost control or it just is something she doesn't agree with, you can't blame her for going elsewhere. After a couple of weeks you will be okay. I promise.
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tntsmom 07:38 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Well I would try not to take it personal, but I know that is hard. She wants someone who will cater to her and her needs. You have done what I do and given a lot to this family. Now she is told no, and she doesn't like it. Some people only care about themselves and will seek out only what is best for them.
Thank you ThriftyLady, you are right, she does not like no and it is killing her that her "fun time" was cut off.
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Leigh 08:15 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by tntsmom:
Thank you ThriftyLady, you are right, she does not like no and it is killing her that her "fun time" was cut off.
I've learned, as you may have, too, that the more you give, the more they expect. It always comes to a head when you run out of things to give them.
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Controlled Chaos 08:17 AM 05-03-2016
I see this type of story posted on here all the time, its sad but the way the business works I have a child whose been with me for 4 years, he goes to kindergarten in August, his mom keeps talking about how sad it will be and how much they will miss me...I have had to develop such an emotional detachment through the years, I am sort of the like "meh" I enjoy the family, they are actually good family friends, but "meh" is where I am at as far a daycare families coming and going. New people to meet, more children to get to know.

Hope you can shake it off, without letting it hurt your feelings.
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Laurel 08:44 AM 05-03-2016
I always tried to keep emotionally detached for the most part.

I am just wondering why you did a garage sale on Thursday and Friday. No one does them here except on weekends because who can shop at it if they are working? You get more customers if you do it on a weekend here.
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Thriftylady 08:46 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Laurel:
I always tried to keep emotionally detached for the most part.

I am just wondering why you did a garage sale on Thursday and Friday. No one does them here except on weekends because who can shop at it if they are working? You get more customers if you do it on a weekend here.
It seems the trend in my area is also Thurs, Friday. Some do Friday, Sat. When I was in KS, the trend was Thurs, Friday, Saturday.
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Rockgirl 08:49 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Laurel:
I always tried to keep emotionally detached for the most part.

I am just wondering why you did a garage sale on Thursday and Friday. No one does them here except on weekends because who can shop at it if they are working? You get more customers if you do it on a weekend here.
Thursday-Friday garage sales are common here.

I was wondering how much notice you gave for the days off, OP.
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LysesKids 08:50 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Laurel:
I always tried to keep emotionally detached for the most part.

I am just wondering why you did a garage sale on Thursday and Friday. No one does them here except on weekends because who can shop at it if they are working? You get more customers if you do it on a weekend here.
I was thinking the same... nobody here does anything except Sat or Sun. Fridays are done sometimes, but not often. I could see doing a weeklong yard sale if a person was moving, but timing seems wrong for "I just need to get rid of stuff".

Where I live, we are only allowed 2 yard sales yearly so we do it as a community on the WEEKENDS
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Play Care 09:03 AM 05-03-2016
Obviously like anything else, different areas do it differently. A lot of times here people will do Friday and Saturday so that after they are done they can load up what's left and take it to the dump and then actually have one weekend day to relax.

That said, anytime you make changes to your schedule you run the risk of losing families. I have a family now who has been with me for years and who I've accommodated many times in the past. This year I decided I was going to continue taking Fridays off in July and August (which I started a couple of years ago because they were on a M-Th schedule which I graciously allowed...) They were not thrilled with my decision and as much as I love the little guy, I know they could pull because of it. It just the business.
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Annalee 09:06 AM 05-03-2016
My extended family and I had a yard/garage sale last weekend.....we did much better on Friday than Saturday....I don't know why that is but it always happens that way in my town.
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childcaremom 09:08 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
Obviously like anything else, different areas do it differently. A lot of times here people will do Friday and Saturday so that after they are done they can load up what's left and take it to the dump and then actually have one weekend day to relax.

That said, anytime you make changes to your schedule you run the risk of losing families. I have a family now who has been with me for years and who I've accommodated many times in the past. This year I decided I was going to continue taking Fridays off in July and August (which I started a couple of years ago because they were on a M-Th schedule which I graciously allowed...) They were not thrilled with my decision and as much as I love the little guy, I know they could pull because of it. It just the business.
Truth!

I try to give as much notice as possibe (min. 1 month) and limit the amount of time I'm taking off. If dcps have an issue with it, then they are clients I do not want.
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Blackcat31 09:24 AM 05-03-2016
Mom doesn't see anything you've done for her (the family) as anything but normal.

YOU choose to do those things. You can't expect her to show appreciation for going above and beyond when you didn't have to go above and beyond without being compensated for it.

Had you attached a fee to ANYTHING above and beyond you did for this family, they would have recognized it as "extra".

As for closing and "not being reliable" (mom's words) Meh....most of us are in this business so we can be our own bosses and set our own hours/days etc. If this particular family doesn't appreciate everything you do, thats on them.

If they can find someone more reliable (whatever that means to them)...good on them.
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Play Care 09:24 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
Truth!

I try to give as much notice as possibe (min. 1 month) and limit the amount of time I'm taking off. If dcps have an issue with it, then they are clients I do not want.
Amen! And let's be honest, there are the times we make the changes *knowing* it will drive a family out!
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Thriftylady 09:27 AM 05-03-2016
I agree we need to give plenty of notice. But also agree that some parents think we should never take a day off. Heck licensing here believes that.
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tntsmom 10:02 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Leigh:
I've learned, as you may have, too, that the more you give, the more they expect. It always comes to a head when you run out of things to give them.
You said it correct! They need you when you are available and love you, then when you say no, you are the worst on the planet!!
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tntsmom 10:10 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Mom doesn't see anything you've done for her (the family) as anything but normal.

YOU choose to do those things. You can't expect her to show appreciation for going above and beyond when you didn't have to go above and beyond without being compensated for it.

Had you attached a fee to ANYTHING above and beyond you did for this family, they would have recognized it as "extra".

As for closing and "not being reliable" (mom's words) Meh....most of us are in this business so we can be our own bosses and set our own hours/days etc. If this particular family doesn't appreciate everything you do, thats on them.

If they can find someone more reliable (whatever that means to them)...good on them.
Blackcat, yes more reliable to them means available from 6:15 a.m. to 5 - 5:15 p.m. for $100/week while mom has Friday afternoons off. Lets see, 2 kids at $100/wk = $200 which means I am working for $3.63 an hour, or $1.82/hr per child = I am not in this to get rich or take advantage, but to be taken advantage of. I say Mom did not like losing her Friday afternoon play time!
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tntsmom 10:12 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I agree we need to give plenty of notice. But also agree that some parents think we should never take a day off. Heck licensing here believes that.
Yep, and we should be happy to have kids and get paid $1.82 per hour, your right why take a day off to recoup or dare we have an appt.
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tntsmom 10:13 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
Amen! And let's be honest, there are the times we make the changes *knowing* it will drive a family out!
LOL...LOL true to the T!
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tntsmom 10:16 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
Truth!

I try to give as much notice as possibe (min. 1 month) and limit the amount of time I'm taking off. If dcps have an issue with it, then they are clients I do not want.
Yep, I give notice, and funny thing is, 9/10 times when it is in the monthly newsletter and they don't remember me "reminding" them. Oh, I forgot I also provide mental memory care for the parents to help them remember the days off I have requested and put it in writing form, obviously they cannot read.
This family, only dcm does not even like to care for her own children so, reason she is upset is because she is now forced to.
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tntsmom 10:17 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
Thursday-Friday garage sales are common here.

I was wondering how much notice you gave for the days off, OP.
A month!
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tntsmom 10:18 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Leigh:
I've learned, as you may have, too, that the more you give, the more they expect. It always comes to a head when you run out of things to give them.
Absolutely right!
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tntsmom 10:20 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos:
I see this type of story posted on here all the time, its sad but the way the business works I have a child whose been with me for 4 years, he goes to kindergarten in August, his mom keeps talking about how sad it will be and how much they will miss me...I have had to develop such an emotional detachment through the years, I am sort of the like "meh" I enjoy the family, they are actually good family friends, but "meh" is where I am at as far a daycare families coming and going. New people to meet, more children to get to know.

Hope you can shake it off, without letting it hurt your feelings.
Thank you, thank you, it is sad, I even went so far as last July I had a hysterectomy on Friday and was back working on the following Tuesday to accomodate my parents. Appreciated for sure...not.
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tntsmom 10:24 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
Obviously like anything else, different areas do it differently. A lot of times here people will do Friday and Saturday so that after they are done they can load up what's left and take it to the dump and then actually have one weekend day to relax.

That said, anytime you make changes to your schedule you run the risk of losing families. I have a family now who has been with me for years and who I've accommodated many times in the past. This year I decided I was going to continue taking Fridays off in July and August (which I started a couple of years ago because they were on a M-Th schedule which I graciously allowed...) They were not thrilled with my decision and as much as I love the little guy, I know they could pull because of it. It just the business.
Yes, it is the business and I have been doing this since my oldest was in kdg and he is now a sophomore in college and I still have a 15 year old at home and decided why should I stay open on Friday afternoons when my parents are off on them as well. And they use every excuse in the book why there late, things happen for a reason, reality is, I guess it is better so I do not feel obligated to watch her little ones while she has the afternoon off and gets to have "girls lunch". My turn!
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JackandJill 10:38 AM 05-03-2016
I hope you don't let this mom take the joy out of your new afternoons off! I hope you enjoy them, you deserve them!
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Play Care 10:41 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by tntsmom:
Yes, it is the business and I have been doing this since my oldest was in kdg and he is now a sophomore in college and I still have a 15 year old at home and decided why should I stay open on Friday afternoons when my parents are off on them as well. And they use every excuse in the book why there late, things happen for a reason, reality is, I guess it is better so I do not feel obligated to watch her little ones while she has the afternoon off and gets to have "girls lunch". My turn!
The last two years I've LOVED having the "extra" day to be with my kids and do family things. My kids love being able to have a friend over, or go places, etc.
I don't know if I'll ever go back to being one 5 days a week in the summer because this time with MY kids/family has meant more to me than any dck has (and I've had really good dck's)
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:46 AM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by tntsmom:
Yes, it is the business and I have been doing this since my oldest was in kdg and he is now a sophomore in college and I still have a 15 year old at home and decided why should I stay open on Friday afternoons when my parents are off on them as well. And they use every excuse in the book why there late, things happen for a reason, reality is, I guess it is better so I do not feel obligated to watch her little ones while she has the afternoon off and gets to have "girls lunch". My turn!
Enjoy your turn!

Perhaps in the future you could attach a fee (even if it is something extremely low) to additional services you provide so you don't feel taken advantage of should a situation like this occur again.
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DaveA 11:22 AM 05-03-2016
It is one of the most annoying parts of this business for sure. When I ended up in the hospital one DCM's only question to my wife when letting her know I was in the hospital was how I handled refunds for days I was closed. Thanks for concern lady

NEVER feel bad about doing something for you and your family.

BTW- around here Thursday evening- all day Friday (including Friday evening) garage sales are common. Leaves the weekend free.
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MotherNature 12:06 PM 05-03-2016
oh yeah, btdt. I had a family pull their kid when I was about to take my vacation. They were in TX for 2 weeks. I give one week free for vacation, as long as there's a month notice. They gave me the month notice, and I told them when I was taking my vacation. With the paid holidays, and my paid vacation week, it was almost 2 weeks I was paid to be off. They were not thrilled & thought I was unreliable, even though they'd signed the contract and known about my vacation/holiday policy. I was irritated that they pulled to avoid paying my holiday and vacation pay, but had just gotten their free vacation week. (They initially didn't want to pay/use their vacation week since dcg wasn't here. I explained about holding a space. ) And the killer was that they gave proper notice, which meant that the deposit (2 weeks pay) was used as their final 2 weeks payment, so I didn't actually get paid by them for 3 weeks, and they complained that I was unreliable.Yet, I was fine for 9 months?!
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CityGarden 02:19 PM 05-03-2016
As a school teacher I only view students as being with me a school year and while I do attach to them and their families I feel it is part of my job to give them the tools to move onto the next teacher as the best version of themselves. I do understand you have them longer as a home daycare provider but just like with teachers them moving on does come with the gig.

Personally I like consistency and a provider closing to host a yard sale would annoy me. It is just not something I would want to take a day off of work for..... teacher in service, vacation, holidays I completely understand but for me yard sale does not rank.

I am just launching my home-based preschool this summer so I am a newbie but as I set opening hours / yearly calendar I am giving thought to what I valued as a parent as well as what I am willing to give of myself as a provider. As a provider I feel both have to be considered and the parents need to know that upon signing up --- it is at that point that they should decided if the school calendar works for them or not.
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Josiegirl 02:29 PM 05-03-2016
I'm sorry you're losing dcbs you have grown attached too. That can bite for sure. But there will be other kids who will steal your heart in your future. Look for your silver lining here!!
Dcm is doing what most dcps do and that's finding what works best for them. We, as providers and business owners, need to do that too! Problem is we tend to form a bond to a lot of these kids so we feel it when they go. Someone said wait 2 weeks, it'll be better and that is definitely true. When someone left and I truly cared for their child/ren I'd feel empty for a week or so but then focusing on my own family or the other dcks(or new dcks!)helped fill that void quickly! I've been doing this a long time and some of the ones I missed are people that I couldn't remember their names now if I tried.
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mommyneedsadayoff 02:47 PM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
As a school teacher I only view students as being with me a school year and while I do attach to them and their families I feel it is part of my job to give them the tools to move onto the next teacher as the best version of themselves. I do understand you have them longer as a home daycare provider but just like with teachers them moving on does come with the gig.

Personally I like consistency and a provider closing to host a yard sale would annoy me. It is just not something I would want to take a day off of work for..... teacher in service, vacation, holidays I completely understand but for me yard sale does not rank.

I am just launching my home-based preschool this summer so I am a newbie but as I set opening hours / yearly calendar I am giving thought to what I valued as a parent as well as what I am willing to give of myself as a provider. As a provider I feel both have to be considered and the parents need to know that upon signing up --- it is at that point that they should decided if the school calendar works for them or not.
That is the awesome part of this job. She can take day or two off to have a garage sale, because she is the boss of her business. Parents should have back up. No need to take a day off if you actually prepare as a parent. The parents were given consistent care, above and beyond according to the OP, so the only time they get mad is when she is not available (even though they had notice) and they didn't have a back up, which is their own fault. Consideration must go both ways.
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Thriftylady 03:05 PM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
As a school teacher I only view students as being with me a school year and while I do attach to them and their families I feel it is part of my job to give them the tools to move onto the next teacher as the best version of themselves. I do understand you have them longer as a home daycare provider but just like with teachers them moving on does come with the gig.

Personally I like consistency and a provider closing to host a yard sale would annoy me. It is just not something I would want to take a day off of work for..... teacher in service, vacation, holidays I completely understand but for me yard sale does not rank.

I am just launching my home-based preschool this summer so I am a newbie but as I set opening hours / yearly calendar I am giving thought to what I valued as a parent as well as what I am willing to give of myself as a provider. As a provider I feel both have to be considered and the parents need to know that upon signing up --- it is at that point that they should decided if the school calendar works for them or not.
But this isn't fair, and is a double standard. My parents can take a sick day, personal day, vacation day whatever and still bring their child to me. I don't ask why some volunteer it others don't. I don't think it matters why I would take a day off, I am just as entitled to have a life as anyone else, and wouldn't expect to answer to my parents about it. As long as I stay within the corners of my contract, just as I ask them to do, what I do on my time off is none of their business.
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Unregistered 03:26 PM 05-03-2016
No offense. But she hasn't done this job yet.

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JackandJill 03:34 PM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:

Personally I like consistency and a provider closing to host a yard sale would annoy me. It is just not something I would want to take a day off of work for..... teacher in service, vacation, holidays I completely understand but for me yard sale does not rank.
Mom has every Friday afternoon off, with out the provider questioning what she does. I would not let parents have any say in why I take a day off, especially with plenty of notice given!!
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Snowmom 04:19 PM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
As a school teacher I only view students as being with me a school year and while I do attach to them and their families I feel it is part of my job to give them the tools to move onto the next teacher as the best version of themselves. I do understand you have them longer as a home daycare provider but just like with teachers them moving on does come with the gig.

Personally I like consistency and a provider closing to host a yard sale would annoy me. It is just not something I would want to take a day off of work for..... teacher in service, vacation, holidays I completely understand but for me yard sale does not rank.


I am just launching my home-based preschool this summer so I am a newbie but as I set opening hours / yearly calendar I am giving thought to what I valued as a parent as well as what I am willing to give of myself as a provider. As a provider I feel both have to be considered and the parents need to know that upon signing up --- it is at that point that they should decided if the school calendar works for them or not.
A day off is a day off. Judging someone by what they use it for is a little insulting.

What you feel is a worthy reason, may not be what someone else feels is worthy. Regardless, you're still entitled to take the day as you see fit as long as you follow your own contract.
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CityGarden 04:42 PM 05-03-2016
Please know I was and am not attacking the OP I said after the portion of my text you all highlighted that BOTH the provider and parent need to decide what works for them PRIOR to signing up. The OP is within her contract per what she said so I am not knocking that and in this situation that fault is on the parent.

That said I personally would not sign on for a school / daycare that closed for reasons I did not feel were reasonable. Each family has to know what works for them --- I know what works for MY family that does not mean anything against the OP. My program will be shortened hours and possibly 1-2 months of summer off, 2 weeks off at Christmas & 1 week off at Spring break so my program won't be ideal for many but will be right for some. I believe there is a right program for each family but it's the parents responsibility to seek out the right program for their family.
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Blackcat31 04:44 PM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
As a school teacher I only view students as being with me a school year and while I do attach to them and their families I feel it is part of my job to give them the tools to move onto the next teacher as the best version of themselves. I do understand you have them longer as a home daycare provider but just like with teachers them moving on does come with the gig.

Personally I like consistency and a provider closing to host a yard sale would annoy me. It is just not something I would want to take a day off of work for..... teacher in service, vacation, holidays I completely understand but for me yard sale does not rank.

I am just launching my home-based preschool this summer so I am a newbie but as I set opening hours / yearly calendar I am giving thought to what I valued as a parent as well as what I am willing to give of myself as a provider. As a provider I feel both have to be considered and the parents need to know that upon signing up --- it is at that point that they should decided if the school calendar works for them or not.
Personally, I get what you are saying.

Having a garage sale DURING your scheduled time off/vacation is your business.

Closing JUST TO HAVE a garage sale could be viewed as unprofessional.

I guess it's dependent on your (general you) relationship with your clients and how you operate.
I lean towards business first but to each her/his own.
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Rockgirl 04:53 PM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by JackandJill:
Mom has every Friday afternoon off, with out the provider questioning what she does. I would not let parents have any say in why I take a day off, especially with plenty of notice given!!
I agree 100%. I decide what I do with my days off. I give plenty of notice, like OP did. If I want to take a day off and lie on my couch all day watching TV, I can.
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Unregistered 05:20 PM 05-03-2016
So that sounds more like: I have more than ample scheduled time off, including long vacations during the year and summers off, therefore I have no need to take more time off for my own personal use.

But that is a structure that's a long ways away from what most providers do who provide year round care with fewer breaks. For the more usual structure it makes sense to take time sometimes to meet personal needs, giving ample notice to families of course. What is done during that time does not matter.
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LysesKids 05:50 PM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Personally, I get what you are saying.

Having a garage sale DURING your scheduled time off/vacation is your business.

Closing JUST TO HAVE a garage sale could be viewed as unprofessional.

I guess it's dependent on your (general you) relationship with your clients and how you operate.
I lean towards business first but to each her/his own.
I get this... I base my pay on 48 weeks per year; what I do with my "20 work week days off" is nobody elses business, however if I close for 2 days to do a yard sale during the week and it wasn't part of my scheduled time off then my parents would expect me to take less vacation time or credit it to the next week/month (it says not professional IMO). I have all my time off scheduled a minimum 6 months out so parents can plan for back up.
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CityGarden 10:56 PM 05-03-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Personally, I get what you are saying.

Having a garage sale DURING your scheduled time off/vacation is your business.

Closing JUST TO HAVE a garage sale could be viewed as unprofessional.

I guess it's dependent on your (general you) relationship with your clients and how you operate.
I lean towards business first but to each her/his own.
Thanks I really was not judging or trying ruffle any feathers or highlight anyone out personally. I was just aiming to add another view to the conversation. We each get to run our own business how we feel best suits us ---- part of the beauty of self-employment.
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Play Care 03:13 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
I agree 100%. I decide what I do with my days off. I give plenty of notice, like OP did. If I want to take a day off and lie on my couch all day watching TV, I can.
It sort of reminds me of when a provider comes on to complain about a parent who was off but still sent in their kid. They say in shock "and it wasn't even an unavoidable appointment! She was getting her hair/nails done!" At some point someone (usually unregistered) comes on to say it's none of our business and we should just do our jobs, etc.
And, I agree
BUT, it goes *both* ways, IMO.
So long as the provider gives ample notice of time off per her contract, the parent in this case has no leg to stand on. Unprofessional in this would be calling out sick on the Wednesday so you can sort through the sale items.
And I say this as someone who is contemplating a day "off" next month so I can deep clean my house. Good times.
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Laurel 03:29 AM 05-04-2016
I also wouldn't take 2 days off for a garage sale. I considered my business open 5 days a week unless I was sick or had a very important appointment/event.

It's up to the provider what she wants to take off for but I can see why a parent would be annoyed. I would also if I were the parent. Many of my parents didn't have backups which I agree is on them but if they don't know anyone who can take off during the day then they don't.

I also had a provider friend who took off a lot for what I consider not important things. She was always looking for new clients which somehow in her area she got but I always wondered why she'd want to keep interviewing and starting new people. I think that would be a pain. I'm NOT saying OP does this but some do.
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Rockgirl 06:50 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
It sort of reminds me of when a provider comes on to complain about a parent who was off but still sent in their kid. They say in shock "and it wasn't even an unavoidable appointment! She was getting her hair/nails done!" At some point someone (usually unregistered) comes on to say it's none of our business and we should just do our jobs, etc.
And, I agree
BUT, it goes *both* ways, IMO.
So long as the provider gives ample notice of time off per her contract, the parent in this case has no leg to stand on. Unprofessional in this would be calling out sick on the Wednesday so you can sort through the sale items.
And I say this as someone who is contemplating a day "off" next month so I can deep clean my house. Good times.
Yes!

I don't schedule days off upfront for the year--I take them as things come up, but I always give 6-8 weeks notice, at least. I'm sure no matter what we do with our days off, there will always be someone who says, "She took off for THAT?!" Bottom line, it is my time--my call. I get to decide what is worthy of a day off. Most of my days off are for going to rock concerts....I am closing for two days in a couple of weeks so we can see Dave Matthews Band. I don't even tell dc parents why I'm closing unless they ask.
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Leigh 07:03 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
Yes!

I don't schedule days off upfront for the year--I take them as things come up, but I always give 6-8 weeks notice, at least. I'm sure no matter what we do with our days off, there will always be someone who says, "She took off for THAT?!" Bottom line, it is my time--my call. I get to decide what is worthy of a day off. Most of my days off are for going to rock concerts....I am closing for two days in a couple of weeks so we can see Dave Matthews Band. I don't even tell dc parents why I'm closing unless they ask.
We don't have to give a reason and hope that the parents think it's good enough. Can you imagine them telling their boss why they want the day off and hearing, no, that's not good enough-you come to work!? I use my time off nearly exclusively for doctor's appointments and rock concerts.
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Annalee 07:07 AM 05-04-2016
If I schedule personal days in my contract, which I do, it is not any of my client's business what I do with those days.
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sleepinghart 07:20 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
Please know I was and am not attacking the OP I said after the portion of my text you all highlighted that BOTH the provider and parent need to decide what works for them PRIOR to signing up. The OP is within her contract per what she said so I am not knocking that and in this situation that fault is on the parent.

That said I personally would not sign on for a school / daycare that closed for reasons I did not feel were reasonable. Each family has to know what works for them --- I know what works for MY family that does not mean anything against the OP. My program will be shortened hours and possibly 1-2 months of summer off, 2 weeks off at Christmas & 1 week off at Spring break so my program won't be ideal for many but will be right for some. I believe there is a right program for each family but it's the parents responsibility to seek out the right program for their family.
~FTR I understood what you were saying in your first post. And I just wanted to add that I not only understand it, but I also totally agree with it.
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tntsmom 08:12 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by LysesKids:
I was thinking the same... nobody here does anything except Sat or Sun. Fridays are done sometimes, but not often. I could see doing a weeklong yard sale if a person was moving, but timing seems wrong for "I just need to get rid of stuff".

Where I live, we are only allowed 2 yard sales yearly so we do it as a community on the WEEKENDS
Here this weekend it is city wide thursday, friday, sat
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tntsmom 08:19 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
As a school teacher I only view students as being with me a school year and while I do attach to them and their families I feel it is part of my job to give them the tools to move onto the next teacher as the best version of themselves. I do understand you have them longer as a home daycare provider but just like with teachers them moving on does come with the gig.

Personally I like consistency and a provider closing to host a yard sale would annoy me. It is just not something I would want to take a day off of work for..... teacher in service, vacation, holidays I completely understand but for me yard sale does not rank.

I am just launching my home-based preschool this summer so I am a newbie but as I set opening hours / yearly calendar I am giving thought to what I valued as a parent as well as what I am willing to give of myself as a provider. As a provider I feel both have to be considered and the parents need to know that upon signing up --- it is at that point that they should decided if the school calendar works for them or not.
Get ready, niceness only goes so far. I give my teachers days to themselves happily and they return the favor in the summer, so being a newbie will open your eyes, same respect is not given as you were as a teacher, I was a teacher
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tntsmom 08:24 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Personally, I get what you are saying.

Having a garage sale DURING your scheduled time off/vacation is your business.

Closing JUST TO HAVE a garage sale could be viewed as unprofessional.

I guess it's dependent on your (general you) relationship with your clients and how you operate.
I lean towards business first but to each her/his own.
What I do with my unpaid time off is my business, I dont question what they do when they dont tell me they are off and I have their kids.
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Play Care 08:25 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:

That said I personally would not sign on for a school / daycare that closed for reasons I did not feel were reasonable. Each family has to know what works for them --- I know what works for MY family that does not mean anything against the OP. My program will be shortened hours and possibly 1-2 months of summer off, 2 weeks off at Christmas & 1 week off at Spring break so my program won't be ideal for many but will be right for some. I believe there is a right program for each family but it's the parents responsibility to seek out the right program for their family.
I think you are confusing your program, which sounds more like a preschool with preschool hours and time off and child care, which is usually 7-6 M-F in addition to time spent working without kids (cleaning, planning, shopping, state mandated trainings on evenings and weekends)and usually 50 weeks out of the year.
If I sent my kids to a preschool where, despite shorter hours and *ample* time off, the teacher was closing for personal days, I too would be ticked. Frankly I get annoyed with my kids teachers (and they are in 4 and 5 grades, so not littles) when they purposely schedule elective surgeries during the school year when they have all summer to do those things - but they don't want to use their "vacation" to be laid up... but at the end of the day, I recognize its none of my business.

At the end of the day most family child care providers have reasonable amounts of personal time covered in their contracts. I've never worked any job where I had to tell anyone *why* I was using a preplanned personal day to justify why I was taking it off. Why should family child care be any different
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tntsmom 08:26 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by Annalee:
If I schedule personal days in my contract, which I do, it is not any of my client's business what I do with those days.
Truth!!!
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Blackcat31 09:39 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by tntsmom:
What I do with my unpaid time off is my business, I dont question what they do when they dont tell me they are off and I have their kids.
I'm not disagreeing with you.

I am one of the biggest supporters of not mixing business stuff with personal stuff so I 100% agree that it is no one's business what you do with your time off.

I, like City Garden, am simply sharing a different perspective. One that is obviously not that uncommon as one of your families apparently feels it is bothersome enough for them that they are switching providers.

No one is trying to tell you what you can or can't do or saying you are wrong or right.

It's your business so you can do whatever you want but you have to understand that not everyone sees things in the same perspective and that you will never make every one happy all of the time.

......which is why almost everyone posting basically said "we all do what works for us."

The parent is also doing what works for them.
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MunchkinWrangler 10:53 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
As a school teacher I only view students as being with me a school year and while I do attach to them and their families I feel it is part of my job to give them the tools to move onto the next teacher as the best version of themselves. I do understand you have them longer as a home daycare provider but just like with teachers them moving on does come with the gig.

Personally I like consistency and a provider closing to host a yard sale would annoy me. It is just not something I would want to take a day off of work for..... teacher in service, vacation, holidays I completely understand but for me yard sale does not rank.

I am just launching my home-based preschool this summer so I am a newbie but as I set opening hours / yearly calendar I am giving thought to what I valued as a parent as well as what I am willing to give of myself as a provider. As a provider I feel both have to be considered and the parents need to know that upon signing up --- it is at that point that they should decided if the school calendar works for them or not.
I understand what you're saying but because my clients aren't my boss, I don't think I need to give any reason for why I'm taking days off. That's personal. I don't ask when my family's take days off. The only time I got be a reason is when I have to close last minute because off illness or an emergency.

The obvious reason for not giving a reason is exactly what you wrote, it gives a person a chance to judge whether it's "fair" or "worth it" to close when, really, it's nobody's place to judge why or when I can take days off. So taking a day off because I want to laze around the house in my pajamas all day, I would assume, wouldn't be a good enough reason to take a day off leading to the assumption that I'm unreliable?
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MunchkinWrangler 10:59 AM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'm not disagreeing with you.

I am one of the biggest supporters of not mixing business stuff with personal stuff so I 100% agree that it is no one's business what you do with your time off.

I, like City Garden, am simply sharing a different perspective. One that is obviously not that uncommon as one of your families apparently feels it is bothersome enough for them that they are switching providers.

No one is trying to tell you what you can or can't do or saying you are wrong or right.

It's your business so you can do whatever you want but you have to understand that not everyone sees things in the same perspective and that you will never make every one happy all of the time.

......which is why almost everyone posting basically said "we all do what works for us."

The parent is also doing what works for them.
That is why the planned days off I take, which I write out in January, I never give any other reason other then calling it a personal or administrative day. It leaves no room for judgement and the parents can choose their backup care in advance. I like to spend time with my child also, so that gives us a free day and I plan something fun or our dr appointments, etc.
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CityGarden 01:45 PM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by tntsmom:
Get ready, niceness only goes so far. I give my teachers days to themselves happily and they return the favor in the summer, so being a newbie will open your eyes, same respect is not given as you were as a teacher, I was a teacher
I suppose this is true, which is why I am happy to have found a community like this to learn from!

Please know the spirit in which I initially posted was not one of judgement or blame I don't think you did anything "wrong". I was kind of surprised to see my post taken in a way I did not intend.
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Ariana 05:22 PM 05-04-2016
I would just tell this lady not to get hit by the door on the way out! She is miffed because you are closing for a garage sale? Who cares why you are closing, if they valued you as a provider, which they clearly do not, they would be happy for you. I have learned a HUGE lesson in knowing the difference between clients who appreciate me and clients who do not. It is apparent very early on and I only go out of my way for clients who are appreciative of me and my services. I take excellent care of their kids but some parents see you as no more than a hole their money goes into because they don't value their children like you do.

This woman will get a RUDE awakening when she goes elsewhere and will likely come crawling back. Karma is a biatch
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AmyKidsCo 08:39 PM 05-04-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Personally, I get what you are saying.

Having a garage sale DURING your scheduled time off/vacation is your business.

Closing JUST TO HAVE a garage sale could be viewed as unprofessional.

I guess it's dependent on your (general you) relationship with your clients and how you operate.
I lean towards business first but to each her/his own.
So rather than saying "I'm closing to have a garage sale" it might be better to say "I'm taking 2 vacation days" and have the garage sale during those days.

To get back to the original question - Yes, I've lost families over days off. Usually they were planning to leave anyway, but decide their last day will be before my paid vacation.
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m.kids1301 08:37 AM 05-08-2016
I know how you feel! So few appreciate all we do.

In 1996 I and my older handicapped daughter both got pneumonia. I had to hospitalize my daughter because I couldn't care for her; I was too weak. I had to close my day care starting on a Wednesday, through the whole following week. I started calling people at the end of that week on Sunday and I was told by the dad of one family I'd had for over 5 years that they would give me a week's notice (I want a 2 week's notice) and that they had found another daycare! I just said that was really going to hurt now, and the dad said, "we were left in a really bad situation here, Marilynn!" Like I chose to get sick! Another dad tried to talk me out of the 2 week's notice just because they'd been nice to me, but they'd switched daycare's too!

I don't take much time off. I do understand it's hard when you have kids and have to work, but providers are just as human and it's so hard when so many are SO ungrateful! But, God always provides...He always helps us have what we need.

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permanentvacation 09:55 AM 05-08-2016
I do. I lose a parent almost every day I take off. And I haven't had a week's vacation in about 13 years! I only take off 1 day at a time, maybe 3 days or so a year! And I'm pretty much guaranteed to lose a kid each time! This is May and my daughter's graduation day will be the first day that I close for this year! I offer care on all holidays. I don't close for the holidays. I do close for special days such as my birthday and things like my daughters graduation day and my daughter's award ceremony at her college.

I actually offer care on Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day as well as the other holidays. Now, typically no one needs care on the major holidays, but every once in a while they do. So, I don't announce that I'm closed, but usually I am not needed for care on major holidays.

One year, I had a daycare kid on Thanksgiving day and years ago, when I did 24/7 care, I had 2 sisters sleep over on Christmas Eve! This past year, I almost had a child on Christmas Day because his mother works at Walmart and they every employee was required to work over Christmas. The mother was, at first scheduled to work Christmas day, but she switched with someone and worked Christmas Eve instead. So I had her child with the rest of my kids on Christmas Eve and was off on Christmas Day. I always have kids the day after Christmas and the day after Thanksgiving.
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e.j. 10:29 AM 05-08-2016
Originally Posted by tntsmom:
Should I take this personal or consider it uanappreciated?
I don't think you should take it personally or necessarily consider the dcm unappreciative. I think that your business hours/time off aren't working for her at this point and she's decided to move on to another provider whose schedule meshes more with her own wants and needs.

I learned a long time ago that anything "special" that I do for my dc families needs to be something I do for no other reason than because it pleases me to do it. That way, I'm not upset or disappointed when a parent fails to appreciate what I've done or fails to remain loyal to me when I say I need to take some time off.

It's true that as business owners, we have the right to set our own hours and decide how much time off to take. We don't owe anyone any explanation for what we'll be doing during that time off. You know that, I know that and even some dc parents understand that but not all parents look at these things from a provider's perspective.

"Perception is everything." If a parent perceives you to be unreliable, there's a good chance they will find someone else they view to be more reliable. Unfortunately, there is a double standard in terms of how parent time off and provider time off is perceived but the reality is any time you decide to take time off, there will always be the risk that a parent will see it as you being unreliable and decide to move on. As a business owner, you have to weigh whether that risk is worth taking or not.
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e.j. 10:47 AM 05-08-2016
Originally Posted by m.kids1301:
I know how you feel! So few appreciate all we do.

In 1996 I and my older handicapped daughter both got pneumonia. I had to hospitalize my daughter because I couldn't care for her; I was too weak. I had to close my day care starting on a Wednesday, through the whole following week. I started calling people at the end of that week on Sunday and I was told by the dad of one family I'd had for over 5 years that they would give me a week's notice (I want a 2 week's notice) and that they had found another daycare! I just said that was really going to hurt now, and the dad said, "we were left in a really bad situation here, Marilynn!" Like I chose to get sick! Another dad tried to talk me out of the 2 week's notice just because they'd been nice to me, but they'd switched daycare's too!

I don't take much time off. I do understand it's hard when you have kids and have to work, but providers are just as human and it's so hard when so many are SO ungrateful! But, God always provides...He always helps us have what we need.
About 2 years ago, I had to close for a week because of an illness. I felt terrible having to close because I don't like to inconvenience my dc families but they know this and supported me throughout.

At the end of that week, though, I got a phone call from a parent looking to switch to new child care. His provider had been out sick all week. While he understood she was sick, he said he couldn't keep taking time off every time she got sick. I just started laughing and told him I was in the same boat she was and had been closed for the past week due to my own illness. I asked him if he liked his provider in general and he said he did; he just couldn't continue to miss so much time off from his own job. I offered to meet with him and discuss back up care. I would possibly take him on as a drop in client for times when he needed back up care but that I felt uncomfortable taking a client away from another provider - especially given the circumstances. He scheduled a time to meet with me and then never showed up, never called to cancel. Oh, well! I guess my point in sharing this is to say that it made me truly appreciate the families I have who have remained so supportive of me and appreciate the care I give to their kids.
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Blackcat31 06:33 AM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by e.j.:
About 2 years ago, I had to close for a week because of an illness. I felt terrible having to close because I don't like to inconvenience my dc families but they know this and supported me throughout.

At the end of that week, though, I got a phone call from a parent looking to switch to new child care. His provider had been out sick all week. While he understood she was sick, he said he couldn't keep taking time off every time she got sick. I just started laughing and told him I was in the same boat she was and had been closed for the past week due to my own illness. I asked him if he liked his provider in general and he said he did; he just couldn't continue to miss so much time off from his own job. I offered to meet with him and discuss back up care. I would possibly take him on as a drop in client for times when he needed back up care but that I felt uncomfortable taking a client away from another provider - especially given the circumstances. He scheduled a time to meet with me and then never showed up, never called to cancel. Oh, well! I guess my point in sharing this is to say that it made me truly appreciate the families I have who have remained so supportive of me and appreciate the care I give to their kids.
I suppose parents want reliability but thought doesn't even occur to them that we do too.

I make sure to stress that it is VERY important for families to have back up care plans if they are choosing an in-home family provider.
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Play Care 07:51 AM 05-09-2016
I've actually said to parents in my interview "if you're looking for a day care that's OPEN 360 (closed only for the "big" holidays) then you NEED a center.

Often parents want center service at in home prices...
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Ariana 08:31 AM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I suppose parents want reliability but thought doesn't even occur to them that we do too.

I make sure to stress that it is VERY important for families to have back up care plans if they are choosing an in-home family provider.
This exactly! Whenever I interview for a spot it is extremely important for me that the family has retired grandparents in the picture, or a SAHM friend/relative that can take their child if I need days off. I discuss this thoroughly with families. I also like having teachers because my vacation usually never interferes with theirs and they have a good generous sickness/personal day policy with their employers.

Alternative,y my husband and mother are both available should I need backup care. I only had one family balk at this idea which meant they were not a good fit for me. If you can't trust my husband and mother (who both have criminal reference checks) than we can't do business
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tntsmom 10:22 AM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
This exactly! Whenever I interview for a spot it is extremely important for me that the family has retired grandparents in the picture, or a SAHM friend/relative that can take their child if I need days off. I discuss this thoroughly with families. I also like having teachers because my vacation usually never interferes with theirs and they have a good generous sickness/personal day policy with their employers.

Alternative,y my husband and mother are both available should I need backup care. I only had one family balk at this idea which meant they were not a good fit for me. If you can't trust my husband and mother (who both have criminal reference checks) than we can't do business
Believe it or not, I even have them fill out a back-up care plan I keep in their file and still they cannot seem to follow through.
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tntsmom 10:27 AM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by tntsmom:
So, I have had a family since 2014 and I send home a monthly newsletter explaining if days off are needed, whats going on, donations, etc. Long story short, this family I have always been especially close to and their children are loved like my own. I have taken them home or picked them up when dad hurt his back and stayed home, let mom who gets off at 12:30 on Fridays take her afternoon to herself and even work an hour extra at no charge so dad can go to school. I took off this thursday and friday to have a garage sale, much needed and she phoned me this morning and said the kids are not coming back because she needs someone more reliable. I was closing on Fridays for the summer at 1:30 because all my parents are off, guess what, she did not like it, she lost her free time. Should I take this personal or consider it uanappreciated? I am so sad, I was so, so close to the boys.
UPDATE: THE MOM ACTUALLY STOPPED PAYMENT ON HER CHECK FOR CARE AND HAS YET TO PROVIDE THE TWO WEEKS OF CARE UP FRONT PAYMENT FOR CONTRACT! HELP, WHAT SHOULD i DO? She texted me letting me know she stopped payment in a "fit of anger" and she fully intends on paying me, however, I am still waiting. I gave her a termination notice and date to pay by, still nothing, sent her a message stating what she owes and due date, still nothing. Next will be a demand for payment letter I think, then if nothing....Small claims.
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Blackcat31 10:42 AM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by tntsmom:
UPDATE: THE MOM ACTUALLY STOPPED PAYMENT ON HER CHECK FOR CARE AND HAS YET TO PROVIDE THE TWO WEEKS OF CARE UP FRONT PAYMENT FOR CONTRACT! HELP, WHAT SHOULD i DO? She texted me letting me know she stopped payment in a "fit of anger" and she fully intends on paying me, however, I am still waiting. I gave her a termination notice and date to pay by, still nothing, sent her a message stating what she owes and due date, still nothing. Next will be a demand for payment letter I think, then if nothing....Small claims.
Yikes!

What's the time line between all of this happening?
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Leigh 10:53 AM 05-09-2016
Originally Posted by tntsmom:
UPDATE: THE MOM ACTUALLY STOPPED PAYMENT ON HER CHECK FOR CARE AND HAS YET TO PROVIDE THE TWO WEEKS OF CARE UP FRONT PAYMENT FOR CONTRACT! HELP, WHAT SHOULD i DO? She texted me letting me know she stopped payment in a "fit of anger" and she fully intends on paying me, however, I am still waiting. I gave her a termination notice and date to pay by, still nothing, sent her a message stating what she owes and due date, still nothing. Next will be a demand for payment letter I think, then if nothing....Small claims.
You'll certainly win in court after that. I'd tell her that she has until the end of business today to bring payment in cash. If she does not, I'd just go ahead and file in small claims, and let her know of your intention to do so.
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mommyneedsadayoff 10:58 AM 05-09-2016
Did I miss a post? Why is she so angry? I thought she was just quitting because she needed more "reliable" care so she can keep her day off on Friday. Did she prepay for this week and is now cancelling that payment and not coming back or giving notice per contract? Sorry, I get confused easily, but I didn't realize she was so upset...just thought she wanted to move on.
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NillaWafers 11:52 AM 05-09-2016
Wasn't it mentioned somewhere that it's a criminal offense to do that? IIRC, you can call the cops on her for stopping payment on a check (check fraud maybe?) I can't remember. I would mention that to her (after some more research ofc)
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Tags:closed days, reliability, time off
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