Hi, I've got a 15 month old daughter that I'm trying to get into a local daycare, but am having the hardest time. Hopefully some of you could offer some advice.

We've heard great things about the daycare and have even taken a tour there. Everything seemed great but there was one issue: getting a spot there. They have a waiting list, and we have been on the list for 19 months now (yes, even before our daughter was born).

Waiting this long has been frustrating, but there have been several things that have added fuel to the fire. (1) The daycare is part of a church. They allow church members priority when spots open up (i.e. they don't get wait-listed). Of course, we are not church members, so that's the first reason we're in this predicament. (2) We've called periodically to check on our prospects, and I sometimes ask what number we are on the waiting list. Six months ago we were #6. Two months ago we were #9. We are going backwards?!? (3) We have had friends with a daughter the same age as ours who are also not church members, that joined the wait list AFTER us, and have since gotten their child enrolled.

So, part of me wants to call them out on the unfairness of this process but the other side knows that doing so will only hurt our chances of getting in at this daycare. My wife called this morning and was told that we didn't get in for this summer (she was thinking that we would, so she's really upset).

Any advice/tips on what we can do? Thanks!

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Honestly, I would speak up. If you have been on the wait list for 19 months and have only moved backwards on the list, your chances seem slim anyway. So how much harm can it be if you bring it up. I would bring it up in a non-confrontational, respectful way though. I would ask them why you are moving backwards on the list and how someone you know got on the list after you and got in before you.

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My advice would be to find a different daycare. You could try calling and asking if there is anything you can do to speed up the process but I think it would be a waste of time. Good luck!

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Being on a wait list isn't necessarily the same as taking a number at the dry cleaners and just waiting your turn in chronological order.

Sometimes people lower on the wait list have better hours or situations that work better than what you may be requiring.

I am not saying this is the way it is but that is how my wait list works....BEST fit, not first in line gets the call first.

Also, since you are already having some issues PRIOR to actually attending, I would consider looking elsewhere.

Quality care IS worth paying for but there is usually more than one option kwim?

I am sorry you are having to wait so long.... I can say that the wait for a child under age 2 in my area is just as long or longer than you have waited already.

Good luck and hopefully you get some answers soon.

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That's a good point. I'll bring up work schedules and see if that would open up our options.

There's really a lack of good daycares in our area; at least ones that would accommodate full-time working parents who don't have summers and school holidays off. This is really our only option besides having our child change daycares seasonally.

Question: Is the policy of putting church members ahead of non-members on waiting lists a fairly common practice at church-run daycares? I'm assuming it's perfectly legal.

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I run an in home daycare, but I do have criteria that allows some clients priority on my wait list. Also just my general overall "feel" of my experience with the client - If I get a weird vibe from the potential client I won't do business with them. They may go on my wait list in case of desperate times, but they aren't ever going to be my first option if a better fit or "feel" is available.

I'd move on and find other care if I were in your shoes.

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Plus daycare's have to keep ratios according to children's ages, they younger they are, the lower the child to teacher ratio is so the harder it is to get an infant/toddler spot.

Have you looked into home daycare's? Just a thought!

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I am not familiar with how church run child cares operate other than they are exempt from a lot of rules that regular providers are not.

Giving priority to church members is probably common and probably a marketing strategy to keep enrollment high and the church congregation full as well. I suppose it is akin to a large company with an on-site childcare giving priority to employees who work in the building.

As an home child care provider, the only families here who get priority in enrollment are families wishing to enroll siblings. I will take siblings of kids already in care before I call anyone on my wait list.

I hope that helps little more.

Have you considered becoming a member of the church? Perhaps that would help secure your position since they obviously value church members as clients more than those who aren't members.

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I understand your frustration but I would go in person and gently/politely/respectfully ask to speak to the director and go over the policies for the wait list. Bring in your work schedules and make sure they know, you WANT this spot and will do whatever you can to make it happen. If you go in with attitude and whatnot (not saying you would....) then no, they will definitely never have a spot for you. The demand is high so they have the power in this situation but still, you deserve to know what is going on so you can make an informed decision. There may be additional issues with the waitlist that you are unaware......licensing laws might have changes so class ratios are different and it affects the waitlist, they may have lost a teacher or other issue, they may give teachers kids priority and some teachers turned up pregnant and are all on the waitlist now, maybe they had a sibling set come in with new members and all those kids got in line on the waitlist ahead of you because they have priority over you.....tons of things could have happened. Or it is possible it is a poorly run organization and they are not communicated well or following their own policies.

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Cheerfuldom gave some very legitimate reasons above that would cause the changes in your placement on the list. I could totally see unexpectedly pregnant employees of the daycare and siblings of current students shaking it up and moving people down the list. If you are still really interested in a spot, I agree you should ask to meet or talk with the director so you know exactly what is going on here. It could be that in a few months a spot could open up. Where I live, infant teacher to child ratios are a bit lower than toddler ratios so it is harder to get infant care. Plus, not everywhere even does infant care. A child would go to the infant room until he/she turns 18 mos. There are more spot opportunities the older a child gets.

Now, I do not get at all taking members of the church first. I suppose it would be legal but it is not how our church does it. Our church has a daycare but it was opened primarily as another way to do outreach to the community. Ours does not put members before non-members. That would be the opposite of our vision to reach those who don't know Jesus through meeting real needs. This church seems to have the daycare as something to make money and help itself. Maybe that is usual for most churches, but I don't think it should be.

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Actually, the daycare at my church has to follow all the same licensing requirements of every other daycare in Ohio. And our licensing lady can be tough. We had to make a lot of changes to the building to open the daycare center and get approved and have to follow every single rule for the state.

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Yes, they do have to follow licensing rules... I was more or less referring to things such as ADA and discrimination type issues. Religious organizations have a lot more leeway with some of those things than regular in-home child cares do.

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Ahhhh, I see what you mean. I was never involved in that part of it so I am not sure exactly what rules they have to follow. I would think it is ok to have a policy where church members or employees get preference for spots if that is their policy. But I don't think they can do anything that would be discrimination due to race, ethnicity, gender, etc. That is what my husband tells me anyways and he is involved in our church leadership.

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There are certain things I look for when enrolling a new child. For me, I go through the list and pick the "best fit" as well. The majority on my list have been through at least a partial interview. An interview doesn't mean automatic enrollment. There has to be a common ground so to speak. I am guilty of picking and choosing when it comes to taking someone off the waiting list. It is sort of a judgment call, but when you have been in this business many years you avoid any issue that might be a red flag. Not that the red flag is bad but it is not for my child care program. Every program is different and to each their own.

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Call the church and talk to them about the situation. If you don't get an answer you like, remove yourself from the waitlist and move on.

I have worked in a church daycare - they hired me and the first spots that opened up went to my children. I wasn't a church member but as soon as they hired me I went to the top of the list.

Smaller daycares, like church daycares often have smaller classrooms or less teachers. That might mean that they can only enroll 4 infants, etc. Between children of employees and church members I would bet money your probability of getting a spot is going to be minimal the entire time.

You really need to consider other options or be ok being let down for the next couple years with this. Where is the child now in care at?

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And Christian-based churches, for example, have said they don't HAVE to take kids who are non-Christians in my state, as their programs often do not fit the needs of those who aren't Christian. This is because they teach Biblical principles and it wouldn't make sense to enroll someone who doesn't believe in a particular faith, and then get accused of "forcing" beliefs on their kids. lol


As for the OP, I would contact them. Let them know you've been on the wait list a while and you would like to know roughly, your chances of ever getting into the center. If you can't get an answer, then probably that means they don't know. The turnover rate may be very low there, and you may NOT get a spot for even longer. I would probably start looking for comparable care and place your child asap so that your child has the benefit of a long-term provider.

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