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  #1  
Old 06-09-2017, 05:19 AM
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Default DCM Texted And Asked Last Night If Child Got Injury But I Didn't Notice

DCB is about 2 years old and his mom texted me last night asking if he fell and I replied back "I didn't see him fall or get any boo-boos. We only had outside time in the morning today. Why do you ask?"

And she said that he had a bump on his head and that his lip was cut and bleeding on the inside!

I said "omg really!? Is he ok??"

She said that he's fine but I feel awful not knowing how it happened. And she told me that one of their biggest problems with a provider is not informing of injuries. I changed DCB's diaper at 5pm and didn't notice any injuries.... just seems odd. And this family is new. :/
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Old 06-09-2017, 05:37 AM
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Originally Posted by trix23 View Post
DCB is about 2 years old and his mom texted me last night asking if he fell and I replied back "I didn't see him fall or get any boo-boos. We only had outside time in the morning today. Why do you ask?"

And she said that he had a bump on his head and that his lip was cut and bleeding on the inside!

I said "omg really!? Is he ok??"

She said that he's fine but I feel awful not knowing how it happened. And she told me that one of their biggest problems with a provider is not informing of injuries. I changed DCB's diaper at 5pm and didn't notice any injuries.... just seems odd. And this family is new. :/
I would just reiterate that you will inform dcm of any injuries that occur while in your care. And then drop it.

If she continues to push, well I would rethink whether I would continue to work with a family that didn't trust the care I was providing their child.

Because I think you would notice if a child injured himself that much (bump on head + bleeding lip = at least some tears).
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Old 06-09-2017, 05:40 AM
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I'd be questioning if that happened at home personally. I think I would notice something like that and the kiddo definitely would have cried or drooled the blood at the very least and cut lips bleed a lot even if a little cut.
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Old 06-09-2017, 05:41 AM
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Also, what time did she text?
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Old 06-09-2017, 05:54 AM
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6:31pm and her hubby picked up about 6pm. Said they are going through relationship problems and are getting divorced.
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Old 06-09-2017, 06:01 AM
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6:31pm and her hubby picked up about 6pm. Said they are going through relationship problems and are getting divorced.
If it was still bleeding then I can't see it happening it your house if they didn't clearly see it at pick up. JMHO.
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Old 06-09-2017, 06:05 AM
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I notice everything and i didn't see it, so I'm kinda wondering ??
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Old 06-09-2017, 06:10 AM
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Probably stating the obvious but my guess would be that either he got hurt while Dad had him and Dad is afraid to tell his wife for fear she might try to use it against him during divorce/child custody proceedings or he got hurt while in Mom's care and she's trying to deflect blame for similar reasons or she wants to cast blame on her husband so she can claim he's an unfit parent. I would think you would have noticed the kind of injuries she described if it had happened on your watch.
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Old 06-09-2017, 06:32 AM
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She is likely just trying to figure out if it happened at your house or when he was with dad, especially in a divorce situation. I think if it were me, I would ask the dad if DCB fell down or something yesterday after leaving your house and tell him you got a text from mom and are trying tomfigure out what happened. Just play it up like you are overly concerned with DCB and how he got his injuries. If dad is blaming you for injuries that is not good!
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Old 06-09-2017, 07:16 AM
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Yeah, if I see him today I'll ask. DCB has had fall injuries before andI write up an incident report for it if so. I'm professional about it and honest about what happened, even if I'm at fault (like I bumped them over while walking or something similar)
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Old 06-09-2017, 07:21 AM
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Originally Posted by e.j. View Post
Probably stating the obvious but my guess would be that either he got hurt while Dad had him and Dad is afraid to tell his wife for fear she might try to use it against him during divorce/child custody proceedings or he got hurt while in Mom's care and she's trying to deflect blame for similar reasons or she wants to cast blame on her husband so she can claim he's an unfit parent. I would think you would have noticed the kind of injuries she described if it had happened on your watch.
Yup. No way a kid bumped his head and cut the inside of his lip- and it was STILL bleeding at 6:30 and not only did he not cry, you didn't notice AND they didn't notice at pick up.
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Old 06-09-2017, 07:59 AM
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Originally Posted by trix23 View Post
DCB is about 2 years old and his mom texted me last night asking if he fell and I replied back "I didn't see him fall or get any boo-boos. We only had outside time in the morning today. Why do you ask?"

And she said that he had a bump on his head and that his lip was cut and bleeding on the inside!

I said "omg really!? Is he ok??"

She said that he's fine but I feel awful not knowing how it happened. And she told me that one of their biggest problems with a provider is not informing of injuries. I changed DCB's diaper at 5pm and didn't notice any injuries.... just seems odd. And this family is new. :/
Call me jaded but that bolded statement bothers me.

He's 2...how many other provider's has she experienced and had that type of problem with?

It just seems like something someone would say because they are trying to blame daycare. Also since she is going through a divorce with DCD, it comes across as she is setting the stage for something.

I definitely hope I am wrong. It's not a very nice thing to assume but as a provider I despise being accused of something like that by a parent that IF truly having trust issues in regards to providers not being transparent about injuries, you'd think her behavior both at pick up and drop off would demonstrate that.

Does she question every little red spot, scratch and mark on his body when picking up? or does she show you those things at drop off? Those types of behaviors come from parents that have trust issues or have had bad experiences with a provider not being forthcoming about injuries.

IMHO, if the statement about the topic being a problem for her seems to be out of the blue, then I think something else is brewing here...
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Old 06-09-2017, 08:11 AM
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Call me jaded but that bolded statement bothers me.

He's 2...how many other provider's has she experienced and had that type of problem with?

It just seems like something someone would say because they are trying to blame daycare. Also since she is going through a divorce with DCD, it comes across as she is setting the stage for something.

I definitely hope I am wrong. It's not a very nice thing to assume but as a provider I despise being accused of something like that by a parent that IF truly having trust issues in regards to providers not being transparent about injuries, you'd think her behavior both at pick up and drop off would demonstrate that.

Does she question every little red spot, scratch and mark on his body when picking up? or does she show you those things at drop off? Those types of behaviors come from parents that have trust issues or have had bad experiences with a provider not being forthcoming about injuries.

IMHO, if the statement about the topic being a problem for her seems to be out of the blue, then I think something else is brewing here...
BC when I read that, that was my first thought as well. A lot seems to be going on with what this mother has told you.

Kid bumped head, split lip, parents are getting a divorce...etc etc etc. If dad picked him up, dad would have seen it. So why didn't she ask dad why he didn't say anything to you??

I would proceed with caution with this family. from now on, when kid comes in do a full body check, do the same going out and do it in front of the parents. Don't let them leave until you have done it. I made a family do this with me after they said their kid got a bruise on his stomach from my house. After about two weeks of it the parents asked me to drop it and that they didn't feel it was necessary. I had to put the family in check, they are still here. No my favorite family, but they have learned my personality and styles and I think a lot of it was them being new and trust.

Maybe tell the mom, sorry you had trust issues with your last DCP, but if you can't trust me to do my job, I can't provide services.
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Old 06-09-2017, 08:20 AM
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I'd be questioning if that happened at home personally. I think I would notice something like that and the kiddo definitely would have cried or drooled the blood at the very least and cut lips bleed a lot even if a little cut.
It didn't happen at your house. Cut lips DO bleed a lot, and there is no way that you or DCD wouldn't have seen it. The bleeding would have subsided within 30 minutes, as well.
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Old 06-09-2017, 08:35 AM
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I agree with the PPs saying something is fishy about this. I'd be really careful with this DCF.
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Old 06-09-2017, 08:43 AM
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I notice blood fast too. For most of the day yesterday, he was sitting on the couch seeming tired.

When there was an accident/injury 2 weeks ago, I filled out a detailed report and presented it to the dad at pick-up. I Said that I need him to sign it and I will make a copy for him to take home. He said that wasn't necessary so I said "ok". I made a copy this morning and gave it to mom so she can see that I document things if there's a noticeable injury.

But she did comment on every little thing on his head/face today and I'm thinking "he's 2 and we play...." lol. I will start doing the physical check at drop-off and check-in.
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Old 06-09-2017, 09:18 AM
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I notice blood fast too. For most of the day yesterday, he was sitting on the couch seeming tired.
Could he have had that head bump (injury) before arriving... being tired all day is a little scary in my opinion.
When there was an accident/injury 2 weeks ago, I filled out a detailed report and presented it to the dad at pick-up. I Said that I need him to sign it and I will make a copy for him to take home. He said that wasn't necessary so I said "ok". I made a copy this morning and gave it to mom so she can see that I document things if there's a noticeable injury.
Umm.. He doesn't want a copy and never mentioned it to mom? Big red flag!
But she did comment on every little thing on his head/face today and I'm thinking "he's 2 and we play...." lol. I will start doing the physical check at drop-off and check-in.
I commented in red above.
Everything you've written about this family has me worried for you. It seems like it's accusation after accusation with mom and the injuries are suspicious. Mouth injuries bleed a lot, right away. You would have noticed. The bump- I suspect was there before or happened after your care and my gut is telling me it's the parents.
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Old 06-09-2017, 09:41 AM
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I just want to say that just because a child questions an injury does not mean they are a liability to your daycare.

I always let daycare know if my toddler son was injured at home if he has a visible mark and I expect them also inform me if he was hurt at daycare.

The other day on our way to the car I noticed my 5 year old had huge claw marks on his face (broke the skin, very little blood). He can talk so he told me that another student clawed his face, the teacher didn't know it had happened.

Last week, I got my toddler home and into the bath, he had clearly been bitten by another child on the back (the mark is still there over a week later). No injury report either, the teacher said he "didn't cry" --which, I'm sorry, I know my child and he cries very hard when he gets hurt or when he gets his feelings hurt.

And while I realize stuff happens and kids bite and get bit and kids get hurt sometimes, I will always bring it to the attention of his teacher when my kids get hurt and a staff member didn't know it occurred. It doesn't mean I am a liability, it means I care that the children are being properly supervised.
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Old 06-09-2017, 09:45 AM
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I just want to say that just because a child questions an injury does not mean they are a liability to your daycare.

I always let daycare know if my toddler son was injured at home if he has a visible mark and I expect them also inform me if he was hurt at daycare.

The other day on our way to the car I noticed my 5 year old had huge claw marks on his face (broke the skin, very little blood). He can talk so he told me that another student clawed his face, the teacher didn't know it had happened.

Last week, I got my toddler home and into the bath, he had clearly been bitten by another child on the back (the mark is still there over a week later). No injury report either, the teacher said he "didn't cry" --which, I'm sorry, I know my child and he cries very hard when he gets hurt or when he gets his feelings hurt.

And while I realize stuff happens and kids bite and get bit and kids get hurt sometimes, I will always bring it to the attention of his teacher when my kids get hurt and a staff member didn't know it occurred. It doesn't mean I am a liability, it means I care that the children are being properly supervised.
Do you mean if a parent questions an injury? You said child...

And I disagree...parents questioning injuries isn't a liability UNLESS there are other behaviors that seem off....

Your example of how you handle injuries etc is a perfect example of open and on-going communication (ie working together)

If you never said a word about injuries and marks from home or from care and then suddenly started saying to the provider that you have "problems with daycare's and being transparent about injuries" just out of the blue then you would be a liability from my standpoint. I see a difference.
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Old 06-09-2017, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted by happymom View Post
I just want to say that just because a child questions an injury does not mean they are a liability to your daycare.

I always let daycare know if my toddler son was injured at home if he has a visible mark and I expect them also inform me if he was hurt at daycare.

The other day on our way to the car I noticed my 5 year old had huge claw marks on his face (broke the skin, very little blood). He can talk so he told me that another student clawed his face, the teacher didn't know it had happened.

Last week, I got my toddler home and into the bath, he had clearly been bitten by another child on the back (the mark is still there over a week later). No injury report either, the teacher said he "didn't cry" --which, I'm sorry, I know my child and he cries very hard when he gets hurt or when he gets his feelings hurt.

And while I realize stuff happens and kids bite and get bit and kids get hurt sometimes, I will always bring it to the attention of his teacher when my kids get hurt and a staff member didn't know it occurred. It doesn't mean I am a liability, it means I care that the children are being properly supervised.
I think it depends on how the parent is asking too. are they coming off accusing you, then yes, I do think they are a liability.
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Old 06-09-2017, 09:55 AM
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AFter reading the rest of the comments in this post..... I'd term.


You are getting a run for your money with these parents.
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Old 06-09-2017, 10:04 AM
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I agree with BC. Something is fishy here. Does mom like you and your daycare or do you think she would rather have him go somewhere else or stay home? I would text dad and ask him if dcb got injured after leaving last night. Don't mention mom and just say that he has bump on his head and you were not aware of it at pick up last night so you wanted to check. He may either say yes or he may say that he doesn't know, but I would be curious what his answer is.
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Old 06-09-2017, 10:13 AM
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Do you mean if a parent questions an injury? You said child...
Ah yes, parent =)

but yes, I can see how this instance is different.
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Old 06-09-2017, 10:32 AM
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I agree with BC. Something is fishy here. Does mom like you and your daycare or do you think she would rather have him go somewhere else or stay home? I would text dad and ask him if dcb got injured after leaving last night. Don't mention mom and just say that he has bump on his head and you were not aware of it at pick up last night so you wanted to check. He may either say yes or he may say that he doesn't know, but I would be curious what his answer is.
I would just drop it.. I would not start asking dad and bringing the issue back up again.
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Old 06-09-2017, 11:24 AM
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I would just drop it.. I would not start asking dad and bringing the issue back up again.
Good point Daycare. Did OP say if the mom and dad are separated? I guess I was just thinking to ask dad since he is the one who picked up and since the two people who were providing care when it may have happened were OP and da, I figured it would be worth asking about. A little bump, no, but a bump on the head and a cut lip is a bit more serious to me. Hope that makes sense
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Old 06-09-2017, 12:11 PM
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I'd be very careful with this family.

I don't like it when families play the blame game! It makes me automatically leary of them, especially when they're going through marriage issues. I've been through one too many bad situations like this.
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Old 06-09-2017, 10:30 PM
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She didn't seem to be blaming me for it, even when she asked me originally if he fell (When he got the bump and cut lip).

And yeah, only have 1 good family out of 4 it seems.... lol. Oh the joys of being new....
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Old 06-09-2017, 10:33 PM
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I think she likes the fact he's here. The dad has been weird the past week. Like really awkward and asked me about my termination/withdrawal notice timeframe. They've only been here 2-3 weeks...

How do you handle it if both parents are on the contract but are splitting up? What if one wants the kid to stay here and the other doesn't?
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Old 06-09-2017, 10:35 PM
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Her comment about daycares and injuries was at the tour, not the day of the text.
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Old 06-10-2017, 04:05 AM
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I think she likes the fact he's here. The dad has been weird the past week. Like really awkward and asked me about my termination/withdrawal notice timeframe. They've only been here 2-3 weeks...

How do you handle it if both parents are on the contract but are splitting up? What if one wants the kid to stay here and the other doesn't?
Stay out of it as much as possible! Black cat has a really good letter for parents going through a divorce. I wish I had used it when one of my first families went through it. Would have same a ton of drama!
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Old 06-10-2017, 09:09 AM
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And yeah, only have 1 good family out of 4 it seems.... lol. Oh the joys of being new....
Trix23 it does seem you have your hands full with your current families, I suggest you really self-care this weekend and try to go into next week rested and centered. If you don't exercise start! I am not suggesting this to be snarky, I am serious! This job is hard and I just started back exercising after having not and it made my ability as a provider, teacher and business owner better. Also you are/were working very long days until 8pm some days if I recall correctly..... that is a very long and taxing day.

I too am a brand new provider, right now I have 5 families plus a family member I helped out for a bit - with the exception of doing business with family which was short-term to begin with, all of my families have been "good" families. Maybe start a thread to brainstorm either 1) your enrollment process and offerings to attract quality families and 2) your policies and procedures which will allow for some dialogue in advance to avoid "issues" prior to them taking place.

I think part of the reason I have quality families is that I found this board prior to opening and have been very purposeful with each step. I also feel my offerings, cost and handbook have helped set the tone as well and when I am caught off guard (and need to come here for guidance) I have gotten better at saying "let me think about that and get back to you" then coming here for input or having a quiet moment to reflect prior to responding.
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Old 06-10-2017, 09:14 AM
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I've been reading this forum for about 2 years and I just opened about six months ago so my handbook and policies and everything is pretty clear on what's okay and what's not but I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong that families that have all these issues like my program. I do have a screening process it's a little more strict now than it used to be but ask things like discipline at home, what hours and days are needed, try to get a feel for their personality, asked what types of food they cook at home and that kind of thing. I think the fact that I'm new I'm just not getting enough exposure and family seem to think that because I'm a home care provider and not a center that they can have their way. If I were to send you my handbook you would agree that there's no problem with my policies and procedures and I even go over it with families and reiterate policies if they're broken and tell them to reference my handbook which is also available on my website for them to download or look at at any time and I have emailed it to all my clients as well. So I'm not really sure at this point what else I can do other than put families on probation and tell them to read the handbook and sign it and give it back to me as proof of them having read it
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Old 06-10-2017, 09:58 AM
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I hope you know I am not trying to attack you.... I just feel for you and don't want to see you burn out! So if your policies are tight and you feel your screening process is also solid maybe it is where or how you are marketing..... or something in your offerings. In example sometimes specializing your offerings can improve you quality of clients.

A couple examples:

One provider here only takes 4 children all 0-3 she (in CA we can only have 4 children 0-2 anyway) but she markets this and markets herself as AP friendly. She is ALWAYS full, ALWAYS in demand and she has some of the most solid job security I know. She likes AP so it works for her and she likes the families because they have similar values to hers. She also charges some of the highest rates in my area and I have met and like several of her families.

Another provider only takes children 3-5 years and potty trained. Her hours and vacation schedule are not working parent friendly but she has a preschool program with lots of offerings in an intimate setting with some of the lowest teacher to child ratios. Her enrollment is harder to fill due to being in direct competition with large preschools but she is solid and making a solid living. She is about 1-1.5 hours away from me but I am modeling much of my program after her successful in-home program.

What is your niche?

I see you commented on this thread but maybe something in there will inspire a way to attract new, better quality clients:
http://daycare.com/forum/showthread....ighlight=niche

And this one on her niche:
http://daycare.com/forum/showthread....ighlight=niche

I am just brainstorming out loud. My niche and rates seem to attract similar moms - who for the most part I like!
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Old 06-10-2017, 11:38 AM
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I know you're not attacking me

I'm just at a loss of what to do because my methods and screening process aren't working. Although now I have prospective clients fill out a Questionnaire on my website and then pay $25. Then we do a phone interview. If I like their answers and ways, I tour them. Did all that with aa lady yesterday and today (She's the first one for this whole process) and she's starting her baby next week!
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Old 06-10-2017, 11:46 AM
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My niche is that I only take 0-4 year olds and am a holistic program. Homemade meals and snacks, some organic stuff, attachment parenting, positive discipline, cloth diaper and breastfeeding friendly, serve vegetarian 3 whole days/week, serve minimal amounts of kid food, have a mixed age group, send pictures to parents throughout the day, and include everyone in outside and art activities.
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Old 06-10-2017, 11:49 AM
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I've been reading this forum for about 2 years and I just opened about six months ago so my handbook and policies and everything is pretty clear on what's okay and what's not but I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong that families that have all these issues like my program. I do have a screening process it's a little more strict now than it used to be but ask things like discipline at home, what hours and days are needed, try to get a feel for their personality, asked what types of food they cook at home and that kind of thing. I think the fact that I'm new I'm just not getting enough exposure and family seem to think that because I'm a home care provider and not a center that they can have their way. If I were to send you my handbook you would agree that there's no problem with my policies and procedures and I even go over it with families and reiterate policies if they're broken and tell them to reference my handbook which is also available on my website for them to download or look at at any time and I have emailed it to all my clients as well. So I'm not really sure at this point what else I can do other than put families on probation and tell them to read the handbook and sign it and give it back to me as proof of them having read it

This was the hardest part of the business for me. Finding the families who will respect me and my program. I tweaked and tweaked before I found my zone.

The best thing for me was to interview a lot. So even when I didn't have openings, I would interview for potential openings. It helped me learn to pick out red flags.

I would classify this as growing pains. I think it's normal. (maybe not but it's how it was for me ) For example, the family from the nanny: I weed those families out during initial emails and no longer enroll them. Why? I have learned that the parents need as much, if not more, training, than the children do. Same with families from centres. Won't even interview them anymore. I only know this from experience. I had a few bad experiences with families from centres. Came to recognize that the differences between a centre and my program is too different (loose drop off times, loose illness policy, waaaay different behavioural expectations, etc etc). I think we all have our bad experiences with certain issues that shape our decisions about families we will work with in the future.

I replaced ALL of my first families within the first year. I've had some doozies since. I got much better at screening but still not perfect. It will come with time. You will learn to pick out the demanding parents, the hands off parents, the ones who will have a hard time hearing no, the ones who will not be comfortable with the care you are providing no matter what. It will come!

I get it. It's frustrating. It's annoying that parents can be this.much.work. How hard is it to follow policies that you agreed to follow? I can't tell you how many times I thought this over the years.

In the meantime, this is a wonderful opportunity to perfect your backbone and learn how to enforce your policies professionally and effectively. It stinks when your families are ALL given you a run at the same time but keep advertising, keep interviewing and you WILL get there.
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Old 06-10-2017, 05:51 PM
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I was communicating with them by email too but how did you weed them out over email? What kind of things are red flags for you? Or things that make you decide it's a "no"? I'm not good at screening people. :/
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Old 06-10-2017, 07:27 PM
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I was communicating with them by email too but how did you weed them out over email? What kind of things are red flags for you? Or things that make you decide it's a "no"? I'm not good at screening people. :/
I think this really depends on what your sticking points are. Maybe not.

I always ask email inquiries what hours they require care for (I did contracted hours, not open to close), when they need care to start (our mat leave is 12 months and most families start looking 2-3 months in advance. If they need it right away I'm curious as to why.... did they get kicked out of another daycare, didn't like the care they had lined up, moved, etc), if their child has been in care before (if the child is young and they are switching care I want to know why: were they termed, did they leave because they weren't happy with care, move, not a good fit, etc etc), and if their child has any allergies or health concerns (not sure if that's legal for you but I always ask because I'm a nut friendly house and we also have cats and I am legally unlicensed).

Depending on their responses, I may choose not to interview. Immediate no's are coming from a centre or nanny or grandparents (again this is due to my own negative experiences and is not always the case but I'm too old and jaded now ). Another immediate no is allergy to nuts and/or cats. If they do have allergies I address that right away: supply own foods, etc. If it's an older child I will ask if the child still naps. If not, I do not bother interviewing as I don't accept children who do not nap. I will also ask if they have back up. If they don't, I won't interview. I require all of my families to have back up so that if I needed a day off, I could take one easily.

Red flag for me: Someone who emails and wants to know my rate. No other questions.

Generally, I will interview people if they don't meet the criteria for immediate nos. Then during my interview I go over my policies but I ask a lot of questions. I have parents bring their child(ren) so I can meet everyone. We do a tour, I go over policies and I ask a lot of questions. They take 60-90 minutes and I like to schedule a bunch in one day (I usually interviewed on weekends). I take notes and write down answers to their questions so I can review afterwards. My questions and concerns vary depending on the age of the enrolling child. I had a lot of issues with naps so always asked a lot of questions around sleep, for example.

I think that the best way to think of it is that there is a learning curve for this, like anything else. You will start to notice the 'tells' that give things away for things that are issues for you and learn how to ask the right questions. For instance, naps were always a huge issue for me. I asked tons of questions. Describe your nap routine. What sorts of props does your child use in the crib? How does your child wake up (eg: happy and will chat until rest is over OR scream and cry)? What time does your child go to bed at night? What time do they wake up? What is your bedtime routine? Where does your child sleep at night? I go over what the routine is here. Watch for their response to that. Etc. etc.
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Old 06-11-2017, 12:30 AM
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I'm learning about why not to take people that have had a nanny, but why grandparents and centers?
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Old 06-11-2017, 03:42 AM
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I'm learning about why not to take people that have had a nanny, but why grandparents and centers?
It's based on my experiences. And they jaded me. I could go on and on (and on and on) about the issues I've had but it doesn't mean that they will happen to you, kwim? These situations certainly jaded me (and burned me right out) but you might not even experience the same ones. You could sign all of your families from centres and have them be the best families in the world and wonder what in the world I was talking about.

You learn as you go. I had sticking points. No sick kids. No late pick ups. Back up care plan is a must. Nap times are non negotiable and must be independent sleepers. I made sure to discuss these issues in depth during interviews and ask parents lots of questions. So it's not enough to say yes, you have a back up plan. Tell me what it is. Who is watching your child? What happens if your child wakes up sick? What happens if child gets sick while here? What if I need to close unexpectedly? Etc. Etc.

Thank the nanny family. They are teaching you what you need to know when you are faced with the next family coming from a nanny. You will go over your policies clearly and make sure that they understand what group care is. You will tell them that you will not be able to accomodate special requests such as dietary changes and late drop offs for breakfast. You will be able to say it professionally and with a smile and feel confident if you decide to sign on that family. And feel confident to address each issue as they come up.

Thank the early dropping off family. Now you know to address that issue in your policy book and during interviews.

I think the best advice I could give you is to interview and interview and interview. Try new techniques. Throw in some new questions. Take notes and review them later. What worked? What new info did you get from parents? Etc etc. Then look at your experiences: what issues are you continuously running into from parents? How can you prevent that from happening? What questions can you ask to clarify the situation?

The bonus of interviewing a lot is that you have a waitlist to build up, as well, and have already pre-screened potential families. So if you do run into issues and determine a family is no longer a good fit, then you can go to your waitlist.
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Old 06-12-2017, 08:10 PM
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Today the dck fell again in the kitchen and hit the back of his head. I filled out an incident report and made a copy of it after DCD signed it. He then said, "a lot of boo boos". I've sent home 2-3 incident reports in the 4 weeks he's been here so I don't consider that a lot.... But I'm honest and forthright about injuries, something most providers don't do.

In a situation like that, what should you say? I said, "Yeah, kids 0-3 get boo boos. It's part of being kids."

Do they think I'm beating or abusing him or something? I mean.... I don't even know what that comment means it's so odd...
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Old 06-13-2017, 06:38 AM
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Today the dck fell again in the kitchen and hit the back of his head. I filled out an incident report and made a copy of it after DCD signed it. He then said, "a lot of boo boos". I've sent home 2-3 incident reports in the 4 weeks he's been here so I don't consider that a lot.... But I'm honest and forthright about injuries, something most providers don't do.

In a situation like that, what should you say? I said, "Yeah, kids 0-3 get boo boos. It's part of being kids."

Do they think I'm beating or abusing him or something? I mean.... I don't even know what that comment means it's so odd...
That is a lot of boo boo reports for a new child, at least compared to what I send home. But, some months are like that for one particular child. My younger ones (2's) get sent home with more boo boo reports than my older ones (4's/5's). But, now I've begun ONLY writing a boo boo report for things that bleed. If it's just a bonk or something I will take a photo of the red mark (or lack of a red mark) and type up a simply note like, "Johnny ran a few feet, fell, and bonked his noggin on a toy. All is well. Ice was applied and there's no visible mark. Kids are so tough!"

If I'm sending home more than 2 paper copies of incident reports within a short amount of time then I will say something like, "So SAD that he keeps finding ways to get a boo boo! He's had more boo boo's than all of my other kids combined this month! 2's are just SO BUSY! "
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Old 06-13-2017, 08:57 AM
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I just want to say that just because a child questions an injury does not mean they are a liability to your daycare.

I always let daycare know if my toddler son was injured at home if he has a visible mark and I expect them also inform me if he was hurt at daycare.

The other day on our way to the car I noticed my 5 year old had huge claw marks on his face (broke the skin, very little blood). He can talk so he told me that another student clawed his face, the teacher didn't know it had happened.

Last week, I got my toddler home and into the bath, he had clearly been bitten by another child on the back (the mark is still there over a week later). No injury report either, the teacher said he "didn't cry" --which, I'm sorry, I know my child and he cries very hard when he gets hurt or when he gets his feelings hurt.

And while I realize stuff happens and kids bite and get bit and kids get hurt sometimes, I will always bring it to the attention of his teacher when my kids get hurt and a staff member didn't know it occurred. It doesn't mean I am a liability, it means I care that the children are being properly supervised.
Honestly, it sounds like there IS a supervision issue.

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Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist View Post
That is a lot of boo boo reports for a new child, at least compared to what I send home. But, some months are like that for one particular child. My younger ones (2's) get sent home with more boo boo reports than my older ones (4's/5's). But, now I've begun ONLY writing a boo boo report for things that bleed. If it's just a bonk or something I will take a photo of the red mark (or lack of a red mark) and type up a simply note like, "Johnny ran a few feet, fell, and bonked his noggin on a toy. All is well. Ice was applied and there's no visible mark. Kids are so tough!"

If I'm sending home more than 2 paper copies of incident reports within a short amount of time then I will say something like, "So SAD that he keeps finding ways to get a boo boo! He's had more boo boo's than all of my other kids combined this month! 2's are just SO BUSY! "
Same here. I use brightwheel and snap a pic, add it to an 'incident report' my boo boo sheets are for blood only.
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Old 06-13-2017, 10:35 AM
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My niche is that I only take 0-4 year olds and am a holistic program. Homemade meals and snacks, some organic stuff, attachment parenting, positive discipline, cloth diaper and breastfeeding friendly, serve vegetarian 3 whole days/week, serve minimal amounts of kid food, have a mixed age group, send pictures to parents throughout the day, and include everyone in outside and art activities.
This might be your issue. I got a lot of crazy when I billed myself as "holistic". Now I do not advertise that way at all. The holistic doesn't come into play until the child is enrolled. Granola type families are extremely entitled people.
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Old 06-13-2017, 10:38 AM
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Today the dck fell again in the kitchen and hit the back of his head. I filled out an incident report and made a copy of it after DCD signed it. He then said, "a lot of boo boos". I've sent home 2-3 incident reports in the 4 weeks he's been here so I don't consider that a lot.... But I'm honest and forthright about injuries, something most providers don't do.

In a situation like that, what should you say? I said, "Yeah, kids 0-3 get boo boos. It's part of being kids."

Do they think I'm beating or abusing him or something? I mean.... I don't even know what that comment means it's so odd...
How did he fall? I am definitely not accusing you of anything!
Might be time to review your supervision, for example kids are not allowed to be walking around in my kitchen. The only place they are allowed to be free is in the play room or outside.
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Old 06-13-2017, 11:36 AM
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This might be your issue. I got a lot of crazy when I billed myself as "holistic". Now I do not advertise that way at all. The holistic doesn't come into play until the child is enrolled. Granola type families are extremely entitled people.
I have run into that as well. I prefer NOT to take those types of families which is interesting because we are a "crunchy family." I thought I would love having them enrolled but I really don't.
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Old 06-13-2017, 12:12 PM
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I have run into that as well. I prefer NOT to take those types of families which is interesting because we are a "crunchy family." I thought I would love having them enrolled but I really don't.
I have found there are a lot of people who practice "crunchy parenting" with balance and with the health and wellbeing of their child/family in mind. But, i have found WAY more who use the methods as an excuse for their child's behaviors and for their lack of parenting, as in "little sally is so smart, that is why she freaks out when you dont let her have xyz, so we let her have it so as not to crush her little soul or hide her individuality, yada, yada, yada."
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Old 06-13-2017, 12:18 PM
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There's a difference between gentle parenting and permissive parenting.

So if not using "holistic", what term do you use?
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Old 06-13-2017, 12:19 PM
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There's a difference between gentle parenting and permissive parenting.

So if not using "holistic", what term do you use?
"healthy"

That is open to interpretation to it might be a better word to use. It will mean whatever healthy means to that person.
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Old 06-13-2017, 12:20 PM
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I have found there are a lot of people who practice "crunchy parenting" with balance and with the health and wellbeing of their child/family in mind. But, i have found WAY more who use the methods as an excuse for their child's behaviors and for their lack of parenting, as in "little sally is so smart, that is why she freaks out when you dont let her have xyz, so we let her have it so as not to crush her little soul or hide her individuality, yada, yada, yada."
Hahahaha. That's really all I can say. Passive parenting horrifies me. We don't mesh well with other crunchy/granola families because of the way we parent. We parent traditionally but have a "natural side" to raising our child and taking care of our health.
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Old 06-13-2017, 12:27 PM
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I have run into that as well. I prefer NOT to take those types of families which is interesting because we are a "crunchy family." I thought I would love having them enrolled but I really don't.
YES!

We are old school parents, but in a loving, nurturing way. Set limits, enforce consequences. BUT, we also communicate and discuss feelings with our children regularly.

I loathe every family that has said 'granola' 'crunchy' 'organic' 'baby wearing' etc

I NO LONGER advertise as RIE, RIE does NOT mean 'no consequences' and 'let your child behave like a monster'
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Old 06-13-2017, 12:57 PM
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Def agree with you there. I see a lot of that these days.
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Old 06-13-2017, 01:20 PM
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Hahahaha. That's really all I can say. Passive parenting horrifies me. We don't mesh well with other crunchy/granola families because of the way we parent. We parent traditionally but have a "natural side" to raising our child and taking care of our health.
me too! we are pretty strict in our parenting, but i take a more hollistic approach to health. my family basically tells me i am nuts for not going to the doc for every little illness, yet gives me the stink eye and tells me to relax when i get on my kids for poor behaviors i see so many parents doing the permissive parenting, yet calling it AP or "child led", and it certainly doesnt help those who actually practice those styles, but with balance. kind of like how "old school" gets a bad wrap bc some parents beat their kids with belts and wood spoons!
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Old 06-13-2017, 05:25 PM
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This might be your issue. I got a lot of crazy when I billed myself as "holistic". Now I do not advertise that way at all. The holistic doesn't come into play until the child is enrolled. Granola type families are extremely entitled people.
LOL when I read that post, I started laughing and thought, yup, there's your problem hahaha!

I'm out of the loop though what's a granola and crunchy family? lol
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Old 06-13-2017, 06:24 PM
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Granola and crunchy are ways of saying alternative parenting and holistic medicine, natural birth without drugs, and breastfeeding, things like that. It's kind of slang but not in the sense of like bad words just another way to describe a lifestyle and value set of sorts.

I'm a half-crunchy parent. I look at each issue and decide which option makes the most sense. For instance I did natural drug-free childbirth in a Jacuzzi tub but I use disposable diapers, formula for my own babies from 4 months onward, and allow tv here and there. My rules are firm on things that matter, like being gentle to others, sitting at the table to eat, and for my own kids that if any water comes out of the tub that they are done with the bath.
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Old 06-13-2017, 06:29 PM
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What do you mean "the holistic doesn't come into play until they are enrolled"
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Old 06-13-2017, 07:11 PM
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What do you mean "the holistic doesn't come into play until they are enrolled"
Basically they don't know my way of caring for kids until the kid is with me. It creates a space of less expectations from the parents. Once I start rolling out the menu and our daily circle time guided meditations they see that I am a holistic or alternative type of provider and welcome alternative ways of parenting (breastfeeding, cloth diapers etc) but I don't advertise it anymore and it makes it easier for me to only allow acceptable parenting practices. Those crazy crunchy granola parents are not really seeking me out.

When I advertised as holistic, childrens meditation teacher
I got a lot of crazies that expected me to wear their babies all day and lie down with their toddlers for naps and allow hitting and biting etc. I sometimes see providers advertising as "attachement parenting" providers and I laugh and think "good luck"!!! Attachment parenting only works when the parent is doing the attaching
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Old 06-13-2017, 07:18 PM
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For your advertising, what do you say you are?
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Old 06-13-2017, 07:48 PM
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For your advertising, what do you say you are?
A childcare provider, thats it! Lol. I advertise my education and experience and that is it. When parents come for an interview I only talk to them about their specific needs and only mention my menu if asked. Most of my current parents appreciate my healthy menu though.
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