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  #1  
Old 12-09-2010, 10:19 AM
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Default Help, I'm Losing This Power Struggle!

I have a 2 1/2 year old dcg who is potty trained except for naps & at night, and has never had an accident in her pants. She wears a diaper for naps and at night. The problem is that EVERY DAY she poops right after she is put down for her nap. Her Mom says she does the same thing at night. I put her down for nap & tell her "come out & go to the potty if you need to poop", she says okay, I leave. Within 10 minutes she walks out of the room & tells me "I pooped". I have tried returning & asking her if she needs to go every couple of minutes, until she tells me she already pooped. I have tried leaving her in her bare bum for nap and she doesn't poop at all, but she pees on her cot. I have tried keeping her up a few minutes longer to see if her body clock kicks in. She always sits on the potty before she goes for nap, but she rarely poops then.
She is clearly winning this battle. There must be a way I can outsmart this toddler!!!
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:23 AM
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Okay I hate to admit this but when my daughter was two she wanted to use the big potty to poop and she fell in and got stuck, I mean legs in the air, arms and head out but she was stuck in the toilet. So she was afraid to sit on the any toilet to poop and would only go in her pull up. Has anything like this happened? Im sorry its not funny but maybe she has a real fear of pooping in a toilet.
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:25 AM
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She has pooped in the potty many times at other times of the day, so it isn't that. There seems to be something about naptime & wearing a diaper that activates her pooper.
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:27 AM
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Is she wet after nap? If not, what do you think would happen if you put her down without the diaper? Would she poop in her undies?
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:28 AM
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I wonder if you put her in the pull-up BEFORE nap for a bit and see what happens.
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:30 AM
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I assume that you are saying "potty time" and sitting her on the potty before nap. If you are then don't make it a big deal. This to shall "pass"! It is only a power struggle if you are buying into it....disengage. Let's face it...you can't make her poo!
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:31 AM
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She sometimes is, sometimes isn't wet after nap. I have put her down without the diaper (or pants, I was thinking it would be one less thing to clean up if she did poop) and she didn't poop, but she peed her cot. What I really want is for her to come out & go to the potty. She's still awake, because she comes & tells me she pooped.
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TGT09 View Post
I wonder if you put her in the pull-up BEFORE nap for a bit and see what happens.
Oooh that sounds like it might work! I'll try that tomorrow. The pooping has been done for today.
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:34 AM
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I've seen this before maybe five/six times.

I would just put her in a diaper and then go check her... and put a fresh one on her. I wouldn't worry about it. She'll eventually get it.

I would make sure she eats lunch WELL before nap. I do an hour before nap so they all have time to dump the load.

The total calm and nothingness of lying there at the top of nap with warm snuggly diaper on her is stimulating her to go. You can't do anything about it.
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:37 AM
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Thanks for all of the responses

I love this forum!
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  #11  
Old 12-09-2010, 12:25 PM
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Promise her something really really special if she goes BM on the potty. I had issues with a 23 month old starting her BM in her pants and them not wanting to finish on the potty which would result in another accident later on. I just always reminded her that if she BMs on the potty she gets to play with the puppet. The puppet I have is very special because it is the only thing in the whole daycare that has batteries. It sings a song from The Sound Of Music. I put my hand in and get it to sing through the song once and then she gets to hold on to it until she wants to play with some thing else. Then it goes back to the bathroom to wait until next time. It took a month but she got it today with no accidents at all! The last two days she's finished on the potty and still gotten the puppet. Pick something for her to play with only after a BM on the potty and remind her constantly about it. Every time she pees on the potty as if she has to BM too and remind her about the special toy. Good Luck!
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Old 12-09-2010, 01:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I've seen this before maybe five/six times.

I would just put her in a diaper and then go check her... and put a fresh one on her. I wouldn't worry about it. She'll eventually get it.

I would make sure she eats lunch WELL before nap. I do an hour before nap so they all have time to dump the load.

The total calm and nothingness of lying there at the top of nap with warm snuggly diaper on her is stimulating her to go. You can't do anything about it.
This would be my first thought, too. She's probably just starting to relax to go to sleep, and then goes. She will most likely outgrow it with time.
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Old 12-09-2010, 03:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MyAngels View Post
This would be my first thought, too. She's probably just starting to relax to go to sleep, and then goes. She will most likely outgrow it with time.
I have a little dcb, not potty trained yet, but he does the same thing. Hardly poops at all during the day, but right after he falls asleep, he lets go. Every nap, every day
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Old 12-09-2010, 05:46 PM
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Two things we can never control.

What they eat.

When it comes out.

Don't engage in this battle. The emotional trauma to a child can leave scars for their lifetime (irritable bowel syndrome).

Good luck.
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Old 12-10-2010, 03:44 AM
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I don't really want to fight her on this, I guess I was hoping there was something I could be doing differently. I'm going to grin & bear it and keep cleaning her up & putting her back down and let this thing run it's course. Thanks everyone, all of the advice is much appreciated.
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Old 12-10-2010, 04:19 AM
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i would try what a pp said and put a pull up on her a little early to see if that gets her to go before she lays down.

also, JUST incase she's doing this because it buys her a little time....i would change her right where she's at. i wouldn't let her get up and go into another room, etc. etc. pooping in your pants isn't as fun when you still don't get to get up and u have to be still anyway
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Old 12-10-2010, 04:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QualiTcare View Post
i would try what a pp said and put a pull up on her a little early to see if that gets her to go before she lays down.

also, JUST incase she's doing this because it buys her a little time....i would change her right where she's at. i wouldn't let her get up and go into another room, etc. etc. pooping in your pants isn't as fun when you still don't get to get up and u have to be still anyway
I actually do that for exactly that reason, she doesn't get to leave the room at all except when she comes out to tell me she pooped. Which reminds me...the part that really burns my cookies is when she comes out and announces "I pooped. Clean my bum."
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Old 12-10-2010, 04:51 AM
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well, i'm a really horrible person so if she's doing this every day after 10 mins and like you say - you check every 2 minutes until she tells you she's already pooped...

i'd get everyone lying down and then bring her out after everything is calm and let her sit on the potty for a few mins. i know, child abuse!
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Old 12-10-2010, 04:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QualiTcare View Post
well, i'm a really horrible person so if she's doing this every day after 10 mins and like you say - you check every 2 minutes until she tells you she's already pooped...

i'd get everyone lying down and then bring her out after everything is calm and let her sit on the potty for a few mins. i know, child abuse!
I'm a horrible child-abusing person too, so I did that. More than once. She sat there & did nothing...then laid back on her cot & pooped. She was only on the potty for a couple of minutes though, because I'm not totally horrible lol

She's not here today so I'll try the early diaper trick on Monday.
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Old 12-10-2010, 05:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QualiTcare View Post
well, i'm a really horrible person so if she's doing this every day after 10 mins and like you say - you check every 2 minutes until she tells you she's already pooped...

i'd get everyone lying down and then bring her out after everything is calm and let her sit on the potty for a few mins. i know, child abuse!
With kids who are showing first stage signs of being "anal retentive" your goal is to just get the poop out. Even if it means a diaper.

Your plan is good for sure but ONLY for a few minutes. If the child can't manage it then let them go in the diaper.

Creating too much chaos around pooping will cause you serious problems in the future. I would just have some super cheapo diapers on hand for the poop and change them and then back to bed.

I've found that if you place to much energy into these things it can backfire.

If you want something to try then this works for us: Best plan is to have them eat a slammin lunch about an hour before they go to bed and then have them GO PLAY TOYS. This is the lowest level excitement they can do on their feet. No special special during this time. Just free play and keep the mojo in the room as low and not focused on any one child.

Then about twenty minutes before nap get them onto the pot and to sit on the pot till YOU tell them to get off. (removing the choice of getting up on their own will relax them and calm them). Have her lean forward to where her elbows on on her thighs and her wrists are on her knees. If you have time.. give her a nice soft light fingertip back rub up and down. Start from the base of her back around her waist and move up... circling her shoulders. Then leave her be for a good five minutes or so with nothing to play with or nothing to see. Just calm...........

If they DO go then "I" would give them a little sompin sompin for them AND their mates. Have them pass it out to their mates and then they get one for themselves. That can be stamps, gummy bears, m&m's, stickers, or whatever. Whatever is their current currency. (I know you aren't supposed to attach food to potty training but I do it so there).

When they are passing out the "take" from their success each child says "good job Susie... you rock" or something like that.

Once she knows she gets to give a little sompin sompin and get a little sompin sompin then she will most likely have her friends asking her if she needs to poop before nap. It takes a village

It doesn't work all the time. Some kids just need dark, quiet, still, and nothing TO do before they can relax enough to not be able to hold it in. It's the same philosophy of why you guys all see way more poop on Mondays than any other day. Daycare has built in times where there is nothing to do but relax. Often home does not. Two weekend days of not relaxing fully will lead to poooooopus humungous.
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