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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>WWYD About A 2 Year Old That Is Too Rough With Babies
PolkaTots 08:29 AM 01-04-2013
I have cared for a 2yo DCG for about 6 weeks now, and have tried several things to curb her behavior, but she is way too rough with babies, and just not sure what else I can do 
I adore her parents, and she is a very sweet little girl...but she loves babies too much. If they are near her she will grab their head, neck, or hair to try to pull them into her lap...if she wants one near her, she will grab their leg, arm or head to pull them towards her...or will pin them down with her whole body to try to kiss them. I have 2 1yo's and will soon be enrolling a newborn, which makes me really nervous. (My friend came over here with her newborn daughter not too long ago and it took 2 adults to pry the 2yo off of he newborn because she wanted to hold her.) (We do not allow the children to hold other children in our daycare) I currently care for 2 1yo, 2 2yo, 2 3yo, & 2 4yo (4 of them are part time, so really only have 5-6 children per day)...I've been doing this for 5 years now and have never seen a child with this type of infactuation with babies...but in a dangerous manner...
Anyway, it's been 6 weeks now, and I do not see this improving. I have tried shadowing, taking her or the infants with me during potty breaks/meal prep/diaper changes so they are never left alone, even for a second...I let her bring her own baby doll here to practice gentle touches...when she does do it, she is quick and has a death grip. Telling her no doesn't work, I have to physically pry her hands open to get her to release the other child. Time outs have no effect either. I just don't know what else to do other that suggest a center environment with seperate age groups might be better for her? Do you have any other suggestions...or would you term?
I adore her parents, and she is a very sweet little girl...but she loves babies too much. If they are near her she will grab their head, neck, or hair to try to pull them into her lap...if she wants one near her, she will grab their leg, arm or head to pull them towards her...or will pin them down with her whole body to try to kiss them. I have 2 1yo's and will soon be enrolling a newborn, which makes me really nervous. (My friend came over here with her newborn daughter not too long ago and it took 2 adults to pry the 2yo off of he newborn because she wanted to hold her.) (We do not allow the children to hold other children in our daycare) I currently care for 2 1yo, 2 2yo, 2 3yo, & 2 4yo (4 of them are part time, so really only have 5-6 children per day)...I've been doing this for 5 years now and have never seen a child with this type of infactuation with babies...but in a dangerous manner...Anyway, it's been 6 weeks now, and I do not see this improving. I have tried shadowing, taking her or the infants with me during potty breaks/meal prep/diaper changes so they are never left alone, even for a second...I let her bring her own baby doll here to practice gentle touches...when she does do it, she is quick and has a death grip. Telling her no doesn't work, I have to physically pry her hands open to get her to release the other child. Time outs have no effect either. I just don't know what else to do other that suggest a center environment with seperate age groups might be better for her?
Do you have any other suggestions...or would you term?
MyAngels 08:36 AM 01-04-2013
At my house NOBODY touches my babies but me or another adult.
daycare 08:40 AM 01-04-2013
this sounds like how my son was with his little sister...
I got a baby doll for him and had him always care for HIS baby. We gave him a name, bought him toys (stroller, high chair, feeding bottles, diapers, blankets, and etc)
When I was caring for sister, he had to care for his baby. I never ever put sister down in his reach, unless I was right there. I always had the PNP up so that I could put sister some where safe if needed. He alwlays had to go with me or I made sure that he was not in the same room as sister while she was in the PNP... It was a nightmare, but it soon passed.
We would practice over and over again how to gently love on our sister and other babies. It took a good month of every day routine, and even still he would still try to smother her from time to time, just not every time he got near her....
I got a baby doll for him and had him always care for HIS baby. We gave him a name, bought him toys (stroller, high chair, feeding bottles, diapers, blankets, and etc)
When I was caring for sister, he had to care for his baby. I never ever put sister down in his reach, unless I was right there. I always had the PNP up so that I could put sister some where safe if needed. He alwlays had to go with me or I made sure that he was not in the same room as sister while she was in the PNP... It was a nightmare, but it soon passed.
We would practice over and over again how to gently love on our sister and other babies. It took a good month of every day routine, and even still he would still try to smother her from time to time, just not every time he got near her....
PolkaTots 08:43 AM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
At my house NOBODY touches my babies but me or another adult.
We don't allow them to here either, but the 1 year olds walk around the playarea and like to play like the other children. I've never had a problem, and have never had to seperate children before this.At my house NOBODY touches my babies but me or another adult.
PolkaTots 08:48 AM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
this sounds like how my son was with his little sister...
I got a baby doll for him and had him always care for HIS baby. We gave him a name, bought him toys (stroller, high chair, feeding bottles, diapers, blankets, and etc)
When I was caring for sister, he had to care for his baby. I never ever put sister down in his reach, unless I was right there. I always had the PNP up so that I could put sister some where safe if needed. He alwlays had to go with me or I made sure that he was not in the same room as sister while she was in the PNP... It was a nightmare, but it soon passed.
We would practice over and over again how to gently love on our sister and other babies. It took a good month of every day routine, and even still he would still try to smother her from time to time, just not every time he got near her....
That's what I have been doing the last 6 weeks...anytime she is near them during circle time or play...she forgets how to be gentle and keep her hands to herself this sounds like how my son was with his little sister...
I got a baby doll for him and had him always care for HIS baby. We gave him a name, bought him toys (stroller, high chair, feeding bottles, diapers, blankets, and etc)
When I was caring for sister, he had to care for his baby. I never ever put sister down in his reach, unless I was right there. I always had the PNP up so that I could put sister some where safe if needed. He alwlays had to go with me or I made sure that he was not in the same room as sister while she was in the PNP... It was a nightmare, but it soon passed.
We would practice over and over again how to gently love on our sister and other babies. It took a good month of every day routine, and even still he would still try to smother her from time to time, just not every time he got near her....
Willow 08:53 AM 01-04-2013
Can you give her some concrete boundaries?
I've heard of some here using a hula hoop for various reasons. Perhaps set her up in one if everyone is out together and insist she stays within it while playing. Or even just a decent sized blanket? Make it her "ship" and let her know she needs to play there because she's having too hard of a time keeping her hands to herself. Have her choose a toy and play with it there. If she hits a particularly tough day set her up at the kitchen table.
I wouldn't encourage gentle touching as it may confuse her, demand no touching at all right now and get the parents on board with relaying the same message. At least for awhile until she gains a bit more self control.
I've heard of some here using a hula hoop for various reasons. Perhaps set her up in one if everyone is out together and insist she stays within it while playing. Or even just a decent sized blanket? Make it her "ship" and let her know she needs to play there because she's having too hard of a time keeping her hands to herself. Have her choose a toy and play with it there. If she hits a particularly tough day set her up at the kitchen table.
I wouldn't encourage gentle touching as it may confuse her, demand no touching at all right now and get the parents on board with relaying the same message. At least for awhile until she gains a bit more self control.
PolkaTots 08:57 AM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
I wouldn't encourage gentle touching as it may confuse her, demand no touching at all right now and get the parents on board with relaying the same message. At least for awhile until she gains a bit more self control.
Yes, you are right. I should be encouraging no touching period. I will be discussing this with the parents tonight.I wouldn't encourage gentle touching as it may confuse her, demand no touching at all right now and get the parents on board with relaying the same message. At least for awhile until she gains a bit more self control.
littlemissmuffet 08:57 AM 01-04-2013
My advice would have been to also provide the dcg with a baby of her own and have her care for that baby doll while you are caring for the real baby - teaching her along the way how to hold, touch and handle a baby. But seeing that you've already been doing this and have noticed no improvement, I'm not sure what other options you have!
I really need to be able to trust my kiddos to a certain point after they've been here for a period of time... 6 weeks is plenty of time to teach a child of any age a new behavior/how to break an old behavior. If I cannot leave a child alone/alone with another child for even a moment - then I cannot keep the child. If I didn't see an improvement in the first 4 weeks, I would terminate - but that's just me.
I really need to be able to trust my kiddos to a certain point after they've been here for a period of time... 6 weeks is plenty of time to teach a child of any age a new behavior/how to break an old behavior. If I cannot leave a child alone/alone with another child for even a moment - then I cannot keep the child. If I didn't see an improvement in the first 4 weeks, I would terminate - but that's just me.
PolkaTots 09:00 AM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
My advice would have been to also provide the dcg with a baby of her own and have her care for that baby doll while you are caring for the real baby - teaching her along the way how to hold, touch and handle a baby. But seeing that you've already been doing this and have noticed no improvement, I'm not sure what other options you have!
I really need to be able to trust my kiddos to a certain point after they've been here for a period of time... 6 weeks is plenty of time to teach a child of any age a new behavior/how to break an old behavior. If I cannot leave a child alone/alone with another child for even a moment - then I cannot keep the child. If I didn't see an improvement in the first 4 weeks, I would terminate - but that's just me.
I agree...I would love to keep her, but I just can't put the other childrens' safety in jeapordy. I will give it to more weeks, and work with the "no touching friends at all" and keep reinforcing the play with her own baby doll...but if it doesn't change, I am going to suggest that she enroll in a more center type environment.My advice would have been to also provide the dcg with a baby of her own and have her care for that baby doll while you are caring for the real baby - teaching her along the way how to hold, touch and handle a baby. But seeing that you've already been doing this and have noticed no improvement, I'm not sure what other options you have!
I really need to be able to trust my kiddos to a certain point after they've been here for a period of time... 6 weeks is plenty of time to teach a child of any age a new behavior/how to break an old behavior. If I cannot leave a child alone/alone with another child for even a moment - then I cannot keep the child. If I didn't see an improvement in the first 4 weeks, I would terminate - but that's just me.
daycarediva 11:26 AM 01-04-2013
I would tell the parents that you are doing the NO touching friends/babies rule. Then redirect her to one spot and keep her baby there. "No dcg, THAT is your baby. Can you go feed your baby while I feed this baby?"
If a child ever was a danger to another child-intentional or not-I would term.
If a child ever was a danger to another child-intentional or not-I would term.
Crystal 02:28 PM 01-04-2013
Tell her the new rule....she is not allowed to touch the babies EVER. Set up a "cozy corner" of sorts with a rug, a basket of books and a doll or stuffed animal or two. EVERY SINGLE TIME she touches a baby, she goes to the cozy corner to to relax. I would give a firm "NO TOUCHING THE BABY" the second she laid a finger on one and then direct her to go to the cozy corner to look at books. No second chances, no negotiation, period. This is NOT time out, but it does remove her.....the perpetrator.....from the situation so that she may not hurt a baby. After 10-15 minutes of playing/reading quietly by herslef (no, not one or two minutes) I would sit with her, explain to her that I KNOW how much she loves the babies but she cannot ever touch them because they can get hurt too easily. Ask her if she is ready to rejoin the group and ask if her if she is going to touch the babies. When she gives the apporopriate answer, let her rejoin the group. If she touches a baby, she goes staright back to the cozy corner.
Also, because I have 4 babies right now, all of the children are naturally curious and interested in "leading" them. I set up an awesome doll area in the dramatic play space, with crib, changing table, high chair, several dolls, real diapers, all the baby props/accessories and hung framed photographs of the babies in the area. The kids spend half of their day playing there and don't give the real babies a second thought!
Also, because I have 4 babies right now, all of the children are naturally curious and interested in "leading" them. I set up an awesome doll area in the dramatic play space, with crib, changing table, high chair, several dolls, real diapers, all the baby props/accessories and hung framed photographs of the babies in the area. The kids spend half of their day playing there and don't give the real babies a second thought!
Holiday Park 02:44 PM 01-04-2013
I have a huge 4ft by 6ft play area made out of the play yard gates, and it also has a door to it. I connected about 8-10panels together. Rigjt now I use it to seperate the one dcg who is rough when she thinks Im not looking. so if I have to take my som potty (within eye sight but too far to stop her from touching a baby) and I have my drop in or FT infant (SHE is ony pt) they would go in the closed play area to keep safe from her touching. She bit the one 8 month old twice in one day (only day it ever happened) . I actually posted about her . Anyway, she hasn't tried buting any one since that day ,as her new thing now is hugging&kissing , but I still don't trust her . So I will not leave her to play any where near another infant at all even with me right there. Oh and that night after the biting incident, thats wen I bought the new play yard and extensions.
, but I still don't trust her . So I will not leave her to play any where near another infant at all even with me right there. Oh and that night after the biting incident, thats wen I bought the new play yard and extensions.
countrymom 04:06 PM 01-04-2013
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Tell her the new rule....she is not allowed to touch the babies EVER. Set up a "cozy corner" of sorts with a rug, a basket of books and a doll or stuffed animal or two. EVERY SINGLE TIME she touches a baby, she goes to the cozy corner to to relax. I would give a firm "NO TOUCHING THE BABY" the second she laid a finger on one and then direct her to go to the cozy corner to look at books. No second chances, no negotiation, period. This is NOT time out, but it does remove her.....the perpetrator.....from the situation so that she may not hurt a baby. After 10-15 minutes of playing/reading quietly by herslef (no, not one or two minutes) I would sit with her, explain to her that I KNOW how much she loves the babies but she cannot ever touch them because they can get hurt too easily. Ask her if she is ready to rejoin the group and ask if her if she is going to touch the babies. When she gives the apporopriate answer, let her rejoin the group. If she touches a baby, she goes staright back to the cozy corner.
Also, because I have 4 babies right now, all of the children are naturally curious and interested in "leading" them. I set up an awesome doll area in the dramatic play space, with crib, changing table, high chair, several dolls, real diapers, all the baby props/accessories and hung framed photographs of the babies in the area. The kids spend half of their day playing there and don't give the real babies a second thought!
I agree with this. I also think that her parents let her do this, I've seen kids like this in the mall, they would run up to my stroller and start touching my babies more like they were smothering my kids and the parents would just stand there with a dumb smile on their face.Tell her the new rule....she is not allowed to touch the babies EVER. Set up a "cozy corner" of sorts with a rug, a basket of books and a doll or stuffed animal or two. EVERY SINGLE TIME she touches a baby, she goes to the cozy corner to to relax. I would give a firm "NO TOUCHING THE BABY" the second she laid a finger on one and then direct her to go to the cozy corner to look at books. No second chances, no negotiation, period. This is NOT time out, but it does remove her.....the perpetrator.....from the situation so that she may not hurt a baby. After 10-15 minutes of playing/reading quietly by herslef (no, not one or two minutes) I would sit with her, explain to her that I KNOW how much she loves the babies but she cannot ever touch them because they can get hurt too easily. Ask her if she is ready to rejoin the group and ask if her if she is going to touch the babies. When she gives the apporopriate answer, let her rejoin the group. If she touches a baby, she goes staright back to the cozy corner.
Also, because I have 4 babies right now, all of the children are naturally curious and interested in "leading" them. I set up an awesome doll area in the dramatic play space, with crib, changing table, high chair, several dolls, real diapers, all the baby props/accessories and hung framed photographs of the babies in the area. The kids spend half of their day playing there and don't give the real babies a second thought!