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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Can Parents Be So Stupid
lovemykidstoo 10:18 AM 06-25-2014
I have totally had it with people that cannot tell their child no or have no idea how to discipline them. DCM picked up 3 yr old boy yesterday. He tends to throw fits for her almost every day. I walk with them out to their car last night because I was going to get the mail. She gets the baby in the car and then puts 3 yr old dcb in his carseat. She has the whole thing clicked and dcb starts throwing a fit and taking his arms out of the harness so that the carseat safety system is only across his hips. She puts his arms back in and he continues to take them out and throw a fit. She says "he always does this taking his arms out". She finally says "fine, go ahead" and she got in the front seat, said goodbye to me and left. I could not believe it. If she got hit, he would be ejected out of that seat so fast. So we can't say no to our kid or make him put his arms in, so we're gonna just let him get severely hurt or worse in a car accident. One word for that and it's ignorant.
nannyde 10:25 AM 06-25-2014
She doesn't want him to cry. That is more important than safety to her.
TwinKristi 10:25 AM 06-25-2014
That's actually reportable IMO. Unsafe carseat practices are definitely not okay in my book! I have reported people (not current clients) for it in the past actually. A previous client's new wife had their baby (who was 2 mos older than my baby) in a forward facing booster style seat at 8 months old!! They found the carseat at a garage sale. 
It was that plus other issues (no hot water, heating or plumbing in their home, cleanliness issues with their baby) but that was the kicker. She posted a picture on Facebook and the baby was practically hanging out the seat the straps and clip were so loose...
It was that plus other issues (no hot water, heating or plumbing in their home, cleanliness issues with their baby) but that was the kicker. She posted a picture on Facebook and the baby was practically hanging out the seat the straps and clip were so loose...
craftymissbeth 10:30 AM 06-25-2014
All I could think while reading that was why in the world did she not just strap him in super tight?! I'd rather him be uncomfortable, immobile, and screaming than flung out of the car!
NightOwl 10:31 AM 06-25-2014
She needs to tighten those straps down and only leave enough room for that child to breathe! He shouldn't be able to get his arms out if it's fitted properly.
Unregistered 10:35 AM 06-25-2014
I have the same kid here except he is two and runs away from his mom outside everyday. runs down the sidewalk and to the neighbors porch. we live on a busy street I'm always afraid he's going to run to the street and get hit. I wish she would make him hold her hand.
This is also the same kid who come in wearing rain boots on a 90 and sunny day seriously? she said there are something's are not worth fighting over oh and his shoes are in his bag. Be a freaking parent and tell him NO and take the boots off and make him wear shoes instead of me fighting your battles for you! Lazy people with NO common sense drive me crazy and I have two parents who are this way.
This is also the same kid who come in wearing rain boots on a 90 and sunny day seriously? she said there are something's are not worth fighting over oh and his shoes are in his bag. Be a freaking parent and tell him NO and take the boots off and make him wear shoes instead of me fighting your battles for you! Lazy people with NO common sense drive me crazy and I have two parents who are this way.
lovemykidstoo 10:37 AM 06-25-2014
I agree, why isn't those straps tighter or why doesn't she look him in the eye and say you WILL keep those arms in there or else!! I'm going to be outside with the kids today when she picks up and see if it happens again. Still pissed about it. He knows if he hollers she gives him what he wants. I see it every day with him and her. He tries that crap with me on certain things and I look at him and tell him I'm not momma, that isn't working with me and he changes his tune.
hope 10:45 AM 06-25-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have the same kid here except he is two and runs away from his mom outside everyday. runs down the sidewalk and to the neighbors porch. we live on a busy street I'm always afraid he's going to run to the street and get hit. I wish she would make him hold her hand.
This is also the same kid who come in wearing rain boots on a 90 and sunny day seriously? she said there are something's are not worth fighting over oh and his shoes are in his bag. Be a freaking parent and tell him NO and take the boots off and make him wear shoes instead of me fighting your battles for you! Lazy people with NO common sense drive me crazy and I have two parents who are this way.
My neighbors child has worn snow boots for over a year now. He wore them all through last summer every where he went. Just tell the child no!I have the same kid here except he is two and runs away from his mom outside everyday. runs down the sidewalk and to the neighbors porch. we live on a busy street I'm always afraid he's going to run to the street and get hit. I wish she would make him hold her hand.
This is also the same kid who come in wearing rain boots on a 90 and sunny day seriously? she said there are something's are not worth fighting over oh and his shoes are in his bag. Be a freaking parent and tell him NO and take the boots off and make him wear shoes instead of me fighting your battles for you! Lazy people with NO common sense drive me crazy and I have two parents who are this way.
mia 10:48 AM 06-25-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
All I could think while reading that was why in the world did she not just strap him in super tight?! I'd rather him be uncomfortable, immobile, and screaming than flung out of the car!
All I could think while reading that was why in the world did she not just strap him in super tight?! I'd rather him be uncomfortable, immobile, and screaming than flung out of the car!
crazydaycarelady 10:53 AM 06-25-2014
Couldn't she just tighten them up and solve the problem?
Leigh 10:56 AM 06-25-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have the same kid here except he is two and runs away from his mom outside everyday. runs down the sidewalk and to the neighbors porch. we live on a busy street I'm always afraid he's going to run to the street and get hit. I wish she would make him hold her hand.
This is also the same kid who come in wearing rain boots on a 90 and sunny day seriously? she said there are something's are not worth fighting over oh and his shoes are in his bag. Be a freaking parent and tell him NO and take the boots off and make him wear shoes instead of me fighting your battles for you! Lazy people with NO common sense drive me crazy and I have two parents who are this way.
Honestly, I would put the kid on a leash. Get a wrist tether, put it on the kid before pickup, and hand it to mom with kid attached and tell her that there will be no more of the kid running away, as it is a liability for you (and that you won't tolerate the behavior at your home). Insist mom use it or carry the child to the car seat EVERY DAY.I have the same kid here except he is two and runs away from his mom outside everyday. runs down the sidewalk and to the neighbors porch. we live on a busy street I'm always afraid he's going to run to the street and get hit. I wish she would make him hold her hand.
This is also the same kid who come in wearing rain boots on a 90 and sunny day seriously? she said there are something's are not worth fighting over oh and his shoes are in his bag. Be a freaking parent and tell him NO and take the boots off and make him wear shoes instead of me fighting your battles for you! Lazy people with NO common sense drive me crazy and I have two parents who are this way.
AmyKidsCo 11:40 AM 06-25-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
All I could think while reading that was why in the world did she not just strap him in super tight?! I'd rather him be uncomfortable, immobile, and screaming than flung out of the car!
All I could think while reading that was why in the world did she not just strap him in super tight?! I'd rather him be uncomfortable, immobile, and screaming than flung out of the car!
I've always told my kids that if I had to choose between having them safe or happy I'd choose safe. Every time.
Second Home 11:48 AM 06-25-2014
This is not as serious as the car seat but it bugs me .
DCG stuck her tongue out at me , I told her that is not nice and we do not do that here . She looked right at me smiled and slowly stuck her tongue out again then smiled at me . So i told her that she could not have a sticker when she was getting picked up . She started whining and demanded a sticker , I held fast and said no , you did not listen and did something not nice even after you were told not to .
Dcm says that's o.k. I will give you some at home .
What happened to wanting your child to come here because we teach manners and how to behave and be nice to others .
DCG stuck her tongue out at me , I told her that is not nice and we do not do that here . She looked right at me smiled and slowly stuck her tongue out again then smiled at me . So i told her that she could not have a sticker when she was getting picked up . She started whining and demanded a sticker , I held fast and said no , you did not listen and did something not nice even after you were told not to .
Dcm says that's o.k. I will give you some at home .
What happened to wanting your child to come here because we teach manners and how to behave and be nice to others .
Blackcat31 11:49 AM 06-25-2014
Originally Posted by hope:
My neighbors child has worn snow boots for over a year now. He wore them all through last summer every where he went. Just tell the child no!
I have a 4 yr old here now that has had the same outfit on all week. My neighbors child has worn snow boots for over a year now. He wore them all through last summer every where he went. Just tell the child no!
When I questioned mom, I got the same "They wouldn't let me..." line that most no-cry parents give.
I also have a DCM that allows ALL 3 of her kids to enter the daycare, close the door behind them and then allows the next kid to open the door, enter and close the door behind them, then the next one... Because they ALL want to open the door so she just each of them have one turn daily verses saying no.
I finally told her NO children touch my door. Adults only.
Now they take turns letting mom open and close the door completely so each one can enter separately and not feel jipped that a sibling was first.
KiddieCahoots 01:03 PM 06-25-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I also have a DCM that allows ALL 3 of her kids to enter the daycare, close the door behind them and then allows the next kid to open the door, enter and close the door behind them, then the next one... Because they ALL want to open the door so she just each of them have one turn daily verses saying no.
Btdt.....with a sibling family of 3, but with the door bell at 6:45 a.m. It was so quiet in the morning, you could always hear them coming a mile away, never mind playing with the door bell. Of course, most of my family was still sleeping. I also have a DCM that allows ALL 3 of her kids to enter the daycare, close the door behind them and then allows the next kid to open the door, enter and close the door behind them, then the next one... Because they ALL want to open the door so she just each of them have one turn daily verses saying no.
I couldn't hold back to discipline the children and mom, that as long as my family would be sleeping at their arrival, there would be no need to ring that door bell from now on.
Glad they saw my seriousness about the matter, otherwise I was disconnecting the darn thing!
Leigh 04:55 PM 06-25-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I have a 4 yr old here now that has had the same outfit on all week.
When I questioned mom, I got the same "They wouldn't let me..." line that most no-cry parents give.
I also have a DCM that allows ALL 3 of her kids to enter the daycare, close the door behind them and then allows the next kid to open the door, enter and close the door behind them, then the next one... Because they ALL want to open the door so she just each of them have one turn daily verses saying no.
I finally told her NO children touch my door. Adults only.
Now they take turns letting mom open and close the door completely so each one can enter separately and not feel jipped that a sibling was first.
Painful.I have a 4 yr old here now that has had the same outfit on all week.
When I questioned mom, I got the same "They wouldn't let me..." line that most no-cry parents give.
I also have a DCM that allows ALL 3 of her kids to enter the daycare, close the door behind them and then allows the next kid to open the door, enter and close the door behind them, then the next one... Because they ALL want to open the door so she just each of them have one turn daily verses saying no.
I finally told her NO children touch my door. Adults only.
Now they take turns letting mom open and close the door completely so each one can enter separately and not feel jipped that a sibling was first.
I'd probably meet them at the door and hold it open for all of them, blocking mom's and kids' access to the door itself altogether. I don't play that game here...it is NOT a big deal, but some things just get.on.my.nerves.
lovemykidstoo 05:25 AM 06-26-2014
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Painful. I'd probably meet them at the door and hold it open for all of them, blocking mom's and kids' access to the door itself altogether. I don't play that game here...it is NOT a big deal, but some things just get.on.my.nerves.
It's not a big deal, but that kind of thing irritates me beyond belief too. lol! Painful.
I'd probably meet them at the door and hold it open for all of them, blocking mom's and kids' access to the door itself altogether. I don't play that game here...it is NOT a big deal, but some things just get.on.my.nerves.I have the deal now with 2 of the kids that I'll answer the door and the parent will be standing there and the child is hiding behind them or behind the door and the parent says "oh johnny didn't come today" and then the kid jumps out. Two different families do this. Real cute the first time, not so cute the 500th time. Again, not a big deal, but just come in, I've got things to do. Another one is if you see any of them coming and you open the door before they knock. Fit time. Seriously? ahhhh! I think I need a vacation. After today I'm off for a week!! yes!!
Oh and dcm did it again yesterday with the seatbelt grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
NightOwl 05:43 AM 06-26-2014
Seriously, suggest to her that the straps ate not tight enough before she gets a ticket or in an accident. This should NOT be your responsibility, but unfortunately, it is (because you're a mandatory reporter and she is doing it on your property). I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I feel your pain. I have the arm twitch thing happen where I just want to slap somebody when a parent says "they wouldn't..." or "they refused to....". They are CHILDREN. This reminds me of the ruler of the roost thread.
lovemykidstoo 06:05 AM 06-26-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
Seriously, suggest to her that the straps ate not tight enough before she gets a ticket or in an accident. This should NOT be your responsibility, but unfortunately, it is (because you're a mandatory reporter and she is doing it on your property). I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I feel your pain. I have the arm twitch thing happen where I just want to slap somebody when a parent says "they wouldn't..." or "they refused to....". They are CHILDREN. This reminds me of the ruler of the roost thread.
Drives me nuts. The scary thing is, they just drove to Florida on vacation. We're in Michigan. Wonder if they drove all that way like that.Seriously, suggest to her that the straps ate not tight enough before she gets a ticket or in an accident. This should NOT be your responsibility, but unfortunately, it is (because you're a mandatory reporter and she is doing it on your property). I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I feel your pain. I have the arm twitch thing happen where I just want to slap somebody when a parent says "they wouldn't..." or "they refused to....". They are CHILDREN. This reminds me of the ruler of the roost thread.
Kabob 06:35 AM 06-26-2014
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
It's not a big deal, but that kind of thing irritates me beyond belief too. lol!
I have the deal now with 2 of the kids that I'll answer the door and the parent will be standing there and the child is hiding behind them or behind the door and the parent says "oh johnny didn't come today" and then the kid jumps out. Two different families do this. Real cute the first time, not so cute the 500th time. Again, not a big deal, but just come in, I've got things to do. Another one is if you see any of them coming and you open the door before they knock. Fit time. Seriously? ahhhh! I think I need a vacation. After today I'm off for a week!! yes!!
Oh and dcm did it again yesterday with the seatbelt grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I've told parents that I'm a mandated reporter and I've been trained in car seat safety so I can't, in good conscience, not say or report anything if I see them knowingly put their child at risk by not securing them properly in the car. Never had the issue you are having but still...I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut. I've seen parents let their kids get away with a lot to avoid tears but if they are letting them do something unsafe on my property on my watch is not okay...It's not a big deal, but that kind of thing irritates me beyond belief too. lol!
I have the deal now with 2 of the kids that I'll answer the door and the parent will be standing there and the child is hiding behind them or behind the door and the parent says "oh johnny didn't come today" and then the kid jumps out. Two different families do this. Real cute the first time, not so cute the 500th time. Again, not a big deal, but just come in, I've got things to do. Another one is if you see any of them coming and you open the door before they knock. Fit time. Seriously? ahhhh! I think I need a vacation. After today I'm off for a week!! yes!!
Oh and dcm did it again yesterday with the seatbelt grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
On another note, I had a family where the parents would let their kids run by themselves in and out of my house and also ring my doorbell repeatedly. Drove me insane. I was gonna disconnect the doorbell when I realized a better solution would be to set boundaries. I told the parents to not allow their kids to run alone even a short distance to my door or to their car...especially since dcm would leave her car running...they didn't like it since then they had to listen to their kids whine and cry but I didn't care...last thing I needed was dcm's car crashing into my garage because she didn't want little Johnny to cry about not getting to run out to the car first...
My3cents 07:31 AM 06-26-2014
Originally Posted by Second Home:
This is not as serious as the car seat but it bugs me .
DCG stuck her tongue out at me , I told her that is not nice and we do not do that here . She looked right at me smiled and slowly stuck her tongue out again then smiled at me . So i told her that she could not have a sticker when she was getting picked up . She started whining and demanded a sticker , I held fast and said no , you did not listen and did something not nice even after you were told not to .
Dcm says that's o.k. I will give you some at home .
What happened to wanting your child to come here because we teach manners and how to behave and be nice to others .
If a parent belittled me in front of the child I would have some serious issues with the parent. I would say something. This is not as serious as the car seat but it bugs me .
DCG stuck her tongue out at me , I told her that is not nice and we do not do that here . She looked right at me smiled and slowly stuck her tongue out again then smiled at me . So i told her that she could not have a sticker when she was getting picked up . She started whining and demanded a sticker , I held fast and said no , you did not listen and did something not nice even after you were told not to .
Dcm says that's o.k. I will give you some at home .
What happened to wanting your child to come here because we teach manners and how to behave and be nice to others .
If your going to go against me in front of the child your just setting your child up to not have to listen to me and I won't tolerate that.
I might even say something in front of both the child and the parent if your going to give her stickers at home for bad behavior then I am not going to give her any stickers here at all- The point of the stickers is to encourage good behaviors not reinforce bad ones
I would say something about not working together for the good of the child- I would ask the parent if they felt that was a good idea to say that to the child? Sometimes parents react before they think-
Don't undermine me- play that game with your spouse but not your provider. Don't set me up to be the bad guy when I am with your child more waking hours then you are. UGH!
My3cents 07:33 AM 06-26-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I have a 4 yr old here now that has had the same outfit on all week.
When I questioned mom, I got the same "They wouldn't let me..." line that most no-cry parents give.
I also have a DCM that allows ALL 3 of her kids to enter the daycare, close the door behind them and then allows the next kid to open the door, enter and close the door behind them, then the next one... Because they ALL want to open the door so she just each of them have one turn daily verses saying no.
I finally told her NO children touch my door. Adults only.
Now they take turns letting mom open and close the door completely so each one can enter separately and not feel jipped that a sibling was first.
no way unless they want to pay my heating bill and electrical bill in the summer~ Mom would be told no to this and I am sure you will eventually. I have a 4 yr old here now that has had the same outfit on all week.
When I questioned mom, I got the same "They wouldn't let me..." line that most no-cry parents give.
I also have a DCM that allows ALL 3 of her kids to enter the daycare, close the door behind them and then allows the next kid to open the door, enter and close the door behind them, then the next one... Because they ALL want to open the door so she just each of them have one turn daily verses saying no.
I finally told her NO children touch my door. Adults only.
Now they take turns letting mom open and close the door completely so each one can enter separately and not feel jipped that a sibling was first.
numb skulls~ LOL
I often want to say and I see this when I am out and about doing errands....but I want to say WHO is the parent here?
mountainside13 07:51 AM 06-26-2014
I reported a parent 3 months ago for car seat safety. She had her 5 year old in the front passenger seat (no car seat) when she dropped off. I talked to her but when she picked up in the evening he was in the front seat again. 
lovemykidstoo 07:55 AM 06-26-2014
Originally Posted by mountainside13:
I reported a parent 3 months ago for car seat safety. She had her 5 year old in the front passenger seat (no car seat) when she dropped off. I talked to her but when she picked up in the evening he was in the front seat again.
How did you do this exactly and did the mom ever say anything to you about it? What happened?I reported a parent 3 months ago for car seat safety. She had her 5 year old in the front passenger seat (no car seat) when she dropped off. I talked to her but when she picked up in the evening he was in the front seat again.
mountainside13 10:28 AM 06-26-2014
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
How did you do this exactly and did the mom ever say anything to you about it? What happened?
I called the hotline (1-800-362-2178) and gave them the details. I had to give a written report within 24 hours to DHS. The mom knew it was me and pulled she was very upset putting it mildly. Before leaving she was saying she doesn't need this right now and doesn't want to deal with another investigation. So they are already in the "system". I'm not sure what came of it. I never did hear back from anyone so I'm guessing nothing. Unless they just didn't need anything else from me. It was the first time I have had to report anyone.How did you do this exactly and did the mom ever say anything to you about it? What happened?
lovemykidstoo 10:51 AM 06-26-2014
Originally Posted by mountainside13:
I called the hotline (1-800-362-2178) and gave them the details. I had to give a written report within 24 hours to DHS. The mom knew it was me and pulled she was very upset putting it mildly. Before leaving she was saying she doesn't need this right now and doesn't want to deal with another investigation. So they are already in the "system". I'm not sure what came of it. I never did hear back from anyone so I'm guessing nothing. Unless they just didn't need anything else from me. It was the first time I have had to report anyone.
I think that the mom just thinks because they live within a mile of each other that it's okay. Although she says he does it all the time, so maybe not. The thing is, accidents can happen anywhere and they have to go through a 4 way stop right outside my sub and there have been a lot of people that have run the stop sign there. Really surprises me because she is no dummy but this is dumbI called the hotline (1-800-362-2178) and gave them the details. I had to give a written report within 24 hours to DHS. The mom knew it was me and pulled she was very upset putting it mildly. Before leaving she was saying she doesn't need this right now and doesn't want to deal with another investigation. So they are already in the "system". I'm not sure what came of it. I never did hear back from anyone so I'm guessing nothing. Unless they just didn't need anything else from me. It was the first time I have had to report anyone.