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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>No Children of My Own Yet...
MissKrys 03:05 AM 12-19-2013
I've noticed that most people who have started home daycare have already had children of their own. Unfortunately, after trying for about 2 years, my hubby and I have yet to conceive. While I'm trying trying to focus on the positive and keep my head up as we continue to try to have a baby...I'd hate to think that not having children of my own would be a strike against me in the eyes of parents.

I'll be opening my daycare as soon as possible this coming year, so I'd like to hear some thoughts from an outside perspective. As a parent, would you view me as less qualified or naive? I've been around children all my life (many cousins!) and even now as my friends are having their children I'm a proud Auntie in their lives. I'm really excited, but this is also in the back of my head as a concern.
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coolconfidentme 03:24 AM 12-19-2013
Most of my parents were unaware on my family status when they became clients. In time they learn all my children are grown & on there own. When I mentioned my youngest son was home from the military & he is 25, they were shocked that I had kids that old. They preserved me to be younger I guess.
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MissKrys 03:34 AM 12-19-2013
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
Most of my parents were unaware on my family status when they became clients.
How funny, it didn't even occur to me to just not talk about it, lol. I guess I figured most parents would automatically ask.
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coolconfidentme 03:36 AM 12-19-2013
Originally Posted by MissKrys:
How funny, it didn't even occur to me to just not talk about it, lol. I guess I figured most parents would automatically ask.
They are mostly concerned in what I have to offer them. Sad but true...
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Play Care 03:41 AM 12-19-2013
In all honesty I think many DCP prefer the provider NOT have kids of their own at home. They worry that the provider will prefer their own child to theirs and that any issue will be settled in the provider child's favor. And I hate to say it, but if and when you do have a child, be prepared for the DCP's to leave.

I've had prospective DCP's ask me if I had plans to have more children because they know babies take up a lot of the DCP's time and they didn't want their child short changed...
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EchoMom 03:47 AM 12-19-2013
First, I'm sorry for your trouble conceiving. It took me 18 months of trying and 3 cycles of clomid to conceive my DS now 2 years old. I've been on 6 cycles of Clomid trying for number two and no luck.

I don't think it would be a problem and to some a benefit actually. It's shocking how little the parents ask. They only think about what their child will be doing and no matter how many kids you care for they always default to thinking their child is your whole world.

Some parents would love that you don't have kids because then you're not prioritizing or having your own as your favorite. I think having no kids would be far better in their eyes than having four. And besides if you say you don't have Kids yet it sounds like you of course want kids but are getting prepared still it parents will connect the dots and know something must be creating delays.
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Maria2013 05:15 AM 12-19-2013
Originally Posted by MissKrys:
I've noticed that most people who have started home daycare have already had children of their own. Unfortunately, after trying for about 2 years, my hubby and I have yet to conceive. While I'm trying trying to focus on the positive and keep my head up as we continue to try to have a baby...I'd hate to think that not having children of my own would be a strike against me in the eyes of parents.

I'll be opening my daycare as soon as possible this coming year, so I'd like to hear some thoughts from an outside perspective. As a parent, would you view me as less qualified or naive? I've been around children all my life (many cousins!) and even now as my friends are having their children I'm a proud Auntie in their lives. I'm really excited, but this is also in the back of my head as a concern.
I've been licensed for 8yrs but I started caring for children way before having my own, I see no difference in finding families...personally I don't think that one has to become a mother to know how to care for kids. If I came to your house for an interview I would look at how clean the place is and I would ask questions to get a feel of your personality, I wouldn't care if you have kids of your own.

good luck to you
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cheerfuldom 06:34 AM 12-19-2013
I find parents prefer you not to have kids at home, especially first time parents. they want all your energy and love on their kids. I would say that it is a plus for you in reference to daycare interviews.
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DaycareMom 06:36 AM 12-19-2013
I think it will really depend on the parents.

Some parents might think if you give them advice on how to discipline or help their child, that how could you possibly know or understand since you haven't had your own. I don't feel that way - but I have had families tell me that is why they didn't go with someone.

I also think there will be parents who will LOVE that you don't have your own children thinking it will get their children more attention.

I would focus on your home and your qualifications.

Good luck!
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ihop 07:28 AM 12-19-2013
I don't have children and although parents do ask me typically during the interview, it has never been an issue. I make sure to have plenty of references available and leave it at that.
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GKJNIGMN 07:46 AM 12-19-2013
I don't think it will be a problem for you finding families simply because you don't have children of your own.

The most a majority of my interviewers have asked is if I can accommodate their hours, how much I charge, and do I provide meals. Nobody has ever asked me about my own kids. I do tell them I have kids because I do drop off and pick ups.

There are definitely families that look at me like I have 2 heads when I tell them I have 3 of my own besides doing daycare. Usually it's parents with only 1 child lol
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jenboo 08:10 AM 12-19-2013
My husband and I have not started a family yet and probably wont for another year (unless i get lucky). I opened my daycare in September and have not had any problems. I have any years of experience nannying and in child care centers. I also have a degree in child and family development. I get lots of questions from parents about how to parent haha.
I was a little worried at first but parents have never said anything about it. Im also only 23 so I thought they would view me as too young too. Nope, not an issue.
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MCC 08:39 AM 12-19-2013
I am so sorry you are struggling to conceive. My husband are I are also going through this, though secondary, it is horrible.

I agree with all PPs that I do not think it will be a problem.

I will say though, that if you start to go do the road of infertility testing and treatment, it is extremely time consuming, and you are going to have to be prepared for that when running your daycare. I have had to close or find subs for many appointments, and the parents have asked what is going on. I just want to give you a heads up on that one.
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Great Beginnings 09:01 AM 12-19-2013
I actually think more parents would think it was a benefit. I started doing daycare only because I couldn't find a home daycare near me that I felt comfortable leaving my son with. I would go to interviews and the providers children would be so poorly behaved. I thought if they can't control their own children how would they do with more than theirs at one time! Providers often complain their own children are their biggest trouble makers lol!

And now that I'm expecting myself I have had a parent leave because they don't think I will be able to accomodate their children. It's hard to find someone while pregnant because the prospective parents don't want to have to worry about starting someplace new and then finding backup care for maternity
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Maria2013 09:06 AM 12-19-2013
Originally Posted by Great Beginnings:
And now that I'm expecting myself I have had a parent leave because they don't think I will be able to accomodate their children. It's hard to find someone while pregnant because the prospective parents don't want to have to worry about starting someplace new and then finding backup care for maternity

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nannyde 09:38 AM 12-19-2013
It's not a problem until you do have a kid. When you start... start saving for a nest egg for once you conceive.

I would advertise that I don't have kids and I would NOT discuss any future plans to have kids. If you conceive, I wouldn't discuss until you are as far along as you can possibly be without them knowing.

Less is more.

I lost half my kids when my son was born and I only took eight working days off. I was full a year later though.
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Lucy 11:18 AM 12-19-2013
Originally Posted by MissKrys:
I've noticed that most people who have started home daycare have already had children of their own. Unfortunately, after trying for about 2 years, my hubby and I have yet to conceive. While I'm trying trying to focus on the positive and keep my head up as we continue to try to have a baby...I'd hate to think that not having children of my own would be a strike against me in the eyes of parents.

I'll be opening my daycare as soon as possible this coming year, so I'd like to hear some thoughts from an outside perspective. As a parent, would you view me as less qualified or naive? I've been around children all my life (many cousins!) and even now as my friends are having their children I'm a proud Auntie in their lives. I'm really excited, but this is also in the back of my head as a concern.
I started doing DC at age 30, and didn't have any kids (still don't at 50). In my 20 years of experience, I've never had ONE interview where it was mentioned negatively. Of course people will say, "so do you have kids?". I just say something like "I have 2 stepdaughters" (now one of them has 2 daughters!) Nobody has EVER shown that they think I'm less qualified because of it. I also grew up with my mom doing DC my whole childhood, so maybe that helps. Now that I'm 50, maybe people just assume I wouldn't have any at home, because I haven't been asked for awhile.

I wouldn't worry AT ALL about this. When they ask, just say "not yet!!" with a big smile. They'll take that as 'you're trying' .
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Lucy 11:20 AM 12-19-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I find parents prefer you not to have kids at home, especially first time parents. they want all your energy and love on their kids. I would say that it is a plus for you in reference to daycare interviews.
Yes, this too!! I think it could be considered a PLUS. They think to themselves, "oh good, no favortism".
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nanglgrl 12:22 PM 12-19-2013
I think it would be 50/50. You may have some parents that think you will be naive and feel like since you don't have children you might not know anything about them, you may also have parents that feel like if you have children you would treat them better than your daycare children. On the flip side if you say you don't have children but would like to you may have parents pick a provider who is done having children over you solely because they don't want to deal with the uncertainty of finding back up care and time off when you do have a child. If I were you I just wouldn't talk about it but that may be hard if you have a place in your contract that goes over maternity leave. It seems I always have parents that ask about that when we go over the contract at the interview. Really it just depends on the parent.
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melilley 12:34 PM 12-19-2013
Originally Posted by nanglgrl:
I think it would be 50/50. You may have some parents that think you will be naive and feel like since you don't have children you might not know anything about them, you may also have parents that feel like if you have children you would treat them better than your daycare children. On the flip side if you say you don't have children but would like to you may have parents pick a provider who is done having children over you solely because they don't want to deal with the uncertainty of finding back up care and time off when you do have a child. If I were you I just wouldn't talk about it but that may be hard if you have a place in your contract that goes over maternity leave. It seems I always have parents that ask about that when we go over the contract at the interview. Really it just depends on the parent.

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littlemissmuffet 01:12 PM 12-19-2013
Originally Posted by MissKrys:
I've noticed that most people who have started home daycare have already had children of their own. Unfortunately, after trying for about 2 years, my hubby and I have yet to conceive. While I'm trying trying to focus on the positive and keep my head up as we continue to try to have a baby...I'd hate to think that not having children of my own would be a strike against me in the eyes of parents.
I did daycare for 10 years before having my own dd (we also tried for years and it was only when we decided to stop trying that I got pregnant ). In my case, parents LOVED that I didn't have my own child... they saw it as I didn't start doing daycare just to be home with my own, and I think some of them saw it as a bonus that their child would never have to compete with my own.
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MissKrys 08:45 PM 12-19-2013
Thank you all so much!! Oh my gosh, you all made me feel so much better! Something that I felt was my biggest negative could actually be a positive to some parents, that's amazing. Some great advice too, I will definitely keep it all in mind. Nest-eggs are a priority and VERY important to me.

And so sorry to hear others having trouble conceiving too. Right now we're focusing on diet changes and healthier lifestyles. It'll happen when it happens, and when it does, it'll probably feel like all the time it took was meant to be.
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Annalee 05:09 AM 12-20-2013
Originally Posted by MissKrys:
I've noticed that most people who have started home daycare have already had children of their own. Unfortunately, after trying for about 2 years, my hubby and I have yet to conceive. While I'm trying trying to focus on the positive and keep my head up as we continue to try to have a baby...I'd hate to think that not having children of my own would be a strike against me in the eyes of parents.

I'll be opening my daycare as soon as possible this coming year, so I'd like to hear some thoughts from an outside perspective. As a parent, would you view me as less qualified or naive? I've been around children all my life (many cousins!) and even now as my friends are having their children I'm a proud Auntie in their lives. I'm really excited, but this is also in the back of my head as a concern.
I started home daycare in '92 and had my first child in 2001..Didn't think we could have children of our own, just decided to let the cards fall where they may. DON"T GIVE UP! I had another child in 2003. Older than I planned to be before becoming a mother, but GOD KNOWS BEST! Am very thankful!
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Maria2013 05:35 AM 12-20-2013
Originally Posted by MissKrys:
And so sorry to hear others having trouble conceiving too. Right now we're focusing on diet changes and healthier lifestyles. It'll happen when it happens, and when it does, it'll probably feel like all the time it took was meant to be.
I hope this isn't too graphic but I read an article years ago about 2 things some women trying to conceive do, that actually shouldn't:

1) not having intercourse for weeks thinking that improves sperm count....it doesn't! ...it actually slows down production of "type A" that's why they suggest having intercourse at least once every 2 days during none fertile period and more often during fertile days

2) this one was about women over washing or using internal feminine products that alter the natural mucous
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Lianne 05:42 AM 12-20-2013
I've been running my home daycare for over seven years now and I have no children of my own. Everyone I've met has been pleasantly surprised. In the interview, let them know of the benefits of my not having children like less time closed for illness because I don't have my own kids to get sick and needing me, more flexibility with my open and close times because I don't have a family to feed dinner, all the children in my care are equal & receive the same attention/care/love.

As far as I know, I've never had prospective clients choose a different provider because I don't have children of my own.
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jenn 12:09 PM 12-20-2013
I opened in 2006, but didn't have a child of my own until 2008. If any parent had a problem with it, I was not aware of it.
We started trying to have a baby in 2004. We gave up in 2006, as nothing was working. Doctors were not optimistic. In 2007, without trying, I was pregnant. Miracle baby!
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