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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Potty Training 4 yr old!
Roxy1 03:56 PM 03-20-2014
So since 4 yr old started here he has struggled with going to potty for pee. He has always used it for poo. So parents tell me he is naked at home and just goes potty, he doesn't have accidents at preschool. I have to tell him to use potty every hour or he will wet himself and continue to ride on the toys etc. When he wets himself I calmy get him to put on a pull up instead of undies and mention that we need to try harder to use potty. Now he has had 2 infections on his penis in his 8 months here as well. Parents informed me they do not want him in pull ups and I let them know it is my policy and he cant be peeing all over the house. So he has been doing well (because I make him use potty all the time) , until the other day we were outside playing just before dad picked him up and when dad arrived he had wet himself. So dad was upset and told child he was disappointed and upset and that maybe child should wear a diaper and be treated like a baby and he would not be able to go on a planned trip because of the accident..... Ahhhhh I need help on this one!
Cradle2crayons 05:52 PM 03-20-2014
Originally Posted by Roxy1:
So since 4 yr old started here he has struggled with going to potty for pee. He has always used it for poo. So parents tell me he is naked at home and just goes potty, he doesn't have accidents at preschool. I have to tell him to use potty every hour or he will wet himself and continue to ride on the toys etc. When he wets himself I calmy get him to put on a pull up instead of undies and mention that we need to try harder to use potty. Now he has had 2 infections on his penis in his 8 months here as well. Parents informed me they do not want him in pull ups and I let them know it is my policy and he cant be peeing all over the house. So he has been doing well (because I make him use potty all the time) , until the other day we were outside playing just before dad picked him up and when dad arrived he had wet himself. So dad was upset and told child he was disappointed and upset and that maybe child should wear a diaper and be treated like a baby and he would not be able to go on a planned trip because of the accident..... Ahhhhh I need help on this one!
First of all.... I don't allow pull ups here at all...So since 4 yr old started here he has struggled with going to potty for pee. He has always used it for poo. So parents tell me he is naked at home and just goes potty, he doesn't have accidents at preschool. I have to tell him to use potty every hour or he will wet himself and continue to ride on the toys etc. When he wets himself I calmy get him to put on a pull up instead of undies and mention that we need to try harder to use potty. Now he has had 2 infections on his penis in his 8 months here as well. Parents informed me they do not want him in pull ups and I let them know it is my policy and he cant be peeing all over the house. So he has been doing well (because I make him use potty all the time) , until the other day we were outside playing just before dad picked him up and when dad arrived he had wet himself. So dad was upset and told child he was disappointed and upset and that maybe child should wear a diaper and be treated like a baby and he would not be able to go on a planned trip because of the accident..... Ahhhhh I need help on this one!
Secondly, I don't allow humiliation especially related to potty training and even from parents on my property.
Thirdly, I don't remind 4 year olds to go potty
This is the parents responsibility to handle. Kids wear diapers here until they are dry two full weeks while in care. They are required to TELL ME they have to go potty. I don't need potty training so I don't take children to the potty every hour.
I explain to parents that consistency is important in all avenues, but especially potty training.
How does he stay dry at preschool???
Does he know potty words?? Does he ever say he needs to go pee??
I'm also confused how a child gets an infection externally on his penis simply from wearing a pull up?? Rash yes, just up pops an infection? Suspicious.
I would have a serious sit down with mom, review your potty policy. If you don't have one, there are some threads here that have some sample policies...
It sounds to me like this child isn't potty trained because he's been taken to the bathroom every hour and has yet to learn his cues yet..
Atroya 12:13 PM 03-21-2014
Sounds like my 2.5yr old dcg. Parents let her run naked at home, and either ask her if she needs to go, or take her every hour anyway. She has showed NO signs of telling ME she has to go(without prompting). I politely listen to their stories of "success", and then at the end of the story, I ask if she has voluntarily told them she has to go. When they say no, I say "hmm..ok", and switch the subject. Before they started the process, I gave them Nannyde's guideline letter, and they have proceeded to go against everything on it! 
Whatever, just don't expect me to even attempt any of that crap here. Dcd told me yesterday that the night before she was standing on a kitchen chair, naked, and proceeded to pee all over the chair. But dcm is soooo excited because dcg can go all night and through naps dry. In other words, her body is ready and capable, but she is not emotionally ready...and or they are hindering her learning by taking her every hour and constantly reminding her. I would love to have her out of diapers too...I have 2 other dck in diapers, would be nice to have only 2 instead of 3.
Whatever, just don't expect me to even attempt any of that crap here. Dcd told me yesterday that the night before she was standing on a kitchen chair, naked, and proceeded to pee all over the chair. But dcm is soooo excited because dcg can go all night and through naps dry. In other words, her body is ready and capable, but she is not emotionally ready...and or they are hindering her learning by taking her every hour and constantly reminding her. I would love to have her out of diapers too...I have 2 other dck in diapers, would be nice to have only 2 instead of 3.
butterfly 12:25 PM 03-21-2014
4 yr old not trained? 
First thing that comes to mind is developmental delay or abuse/neglect at home... Mind you, this is coming from a former foster parent so this has been my experience in older kids that still aren't potty trained.
Are there any other developmental delays? I'm sure dcd's shaming is NOT helping the situation!
First thing that comes to mind is developmental delay or abuse/neglect at home... Mind you, this is coming from a former foster parent so this has been my experience in older kids that still aren't potty trained. Are there any other developmental delays? I'm sure dcd's shaming is NOT helping the situation!
CraftyMom 12:39 PM 03-21-2014
Originally Posted by butterfly:
4 yr old not trained? First thing that comes to mind is developmental delay or abuse/neglect at home... Mind you, this is coming from a former foster parent so this has been my experience in older kids that still aren't potty trained.
Are there any other developmental delays? I'm sure dcd's shaming is NOT helping the situation!
I hate to say it but this the first thing that came to my mind, some sort of abuse. Especially getting infections on his penis? I've never seen a child with an infection on his penis and I don't even know what would cause that...4 yr old not trained?
First thing that comes to mind is developmental delay or abuse/neglect at home... Mind you, this is coming from a former foster parent so this has been my experience in older kids that still aren't potty trained. Are there any other developmental delays? I'm sure dcd's shaming is NOT helping the situation!
I know boys touch themselves a lot, but still I don't think that would cause it unless his hands were pretty dirty and he wasn't bathing or something
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:51 PM 03-21-2014
I would send home information about shaming children. So sad.
craftymissbeth 01:15 PM 03-21-2014
Infections are pretty common with children who have poor hygiene... but if he's bathed regularly and properly just being in a pull up isn't likely to cause multiple infections.
I'm curious, too, if there are any other delays?
Though I'm leaning towards the DCP's being the cause. Pushing them to potty train when they're not ready can cause issues. The shaming from DCD has to stop or this guy won't be potty trained anytime soon
I'm curious, too, if there are any other delays?
Though I'm leaning towards the DCP's being the cause. Pushing them to potty train when they're not ready can cause issues. The shaming from DCD has to stop or this guy won't be potty trained anytime soon
Candy 01:37 PM 03-21-2014
I have never and probably well never watch a child over 3.5 who it's not potty trained. Unless there are medical reasons involved. Also since when did preschool start taking kids who were not potty trained?
Blackcat31 01:58 PM 03-21-2014
I have cared for kids as young as 20 months that were potty trained and kids as old as 5 that weren't 100% toilet trained.
I don't think you can place a cut off for age.
It's about individual development and whether or not the child is ready or not.
Age is just a number, not a deadline.
I don't think you can place a cut off for age.
It's about individual development and whether or not the child is ready or not.
Age is just a number, not a deadline.
craftymissbeth 02:25 PM 03-21-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I have cared for kids as young as 20 months that were potty trained and kids as old as 5 that weren't 100% toilet trained.
I don't think you can place a cut off for age.
It's about individual development and whether or not the child is ready or not.
Age is just a number, not a deadline.
I have cared for kids as young as 20 months that were potty trained and kids as old as 5 that weren't 100% toilet trained.
I don't think you can place a cut off for age.
It's about individual development and whether or not the child is ready or not.
Age is just a number, not a deadline.
By setting cut-offs that fuels parents to push their children when they aren't ready.
Margarete 04:33 PM 03-21-2014
Infections can impact a child's potty training a lot also. My daughter had a bladder infection shortly after potty training... and wanted nothing to do with the potty for a week... although after she started up again it didn't take long to get back on track
Roxy1 06:40 PM 03-26-2014
Well I emailed parents and explained how I approach him after an accident , calmly ...without shame. Then I asked what they think I can do differently to help him. Then I got a email back saying there isn't more I can do and we can just keep being positive. Then..... today I was given 30 days notice for them to term care!