I want my son to start growing up! So I set a rate of 50% of regular payment for watching their 1 yr old. They sit and talk to the families on all sides and I get blasted for expecting payment for my own grandbaby..... Shouldn't we be teaching this generation that they are not entitled to free childcare to work, shop, get nails done, and take time to clean their house because they can't seem to get it done with one child home? Then they try the Grandma guilt, we need a night out can't you just keep him over, plz (abbreviation I get all the time from text). They know I'm sitting here (eating bon bons) just watching kids and they know I have openings that I don't want to fill right now (my medical reasons). Of course I want to see my grandbaby, but I want to see him when I can give him lots of lovings either with a visit from my son.... or just a couple hours to spoil him rotten and send him home to his parents.

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Half off sounds like a good deal to me!

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Its up to you where you want to set your boundaries. if they are needing regular daycare, yes, it sounds right to me that you should be compensated for that work.

If you are wanting some time with just you and your grandbaby, then perhaps you can offer one date night a week outside of daycare hours....or some other compromise where you arent charging them but they are not taking advantage of you either.

i think its a shame that your son is trying to guilt you into a lot of free childcare. you raised your kids, its time for him to raise his.

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You should most definitiley be paid for your services, grandchild or not.

I apid my Mom $75 (whihc was good part time rate 22 years ago)a week to watch my son part time when he was little. I did it without her asking, as I felt she EARNED it and took her valuable time to care for my child.

Your son is being selfish.

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I care for my granddaughter while my son and his wife work, and I would never in a million years accept a penny for it. I treasure every moment with her and I consider myself exceptionally lucky to be able to have this time with her.

However, my son is a wonderful, responsible, mature husband and father. There is not a chance in the world he would ever try to guilt trip me into anything. He and his wife spend every moment they have outside of work with their little girl. If they were not this way I might (I say might, I probably wouldn't though ) feel differently about it.

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Tell them that he will be taking up a spot in your daycare (without going over capacity) and that you are already doing them a favor by offering 1/2 price- which would most likely still be cheaper than most other child care facilities. If they do not live with you I don't think you can write it off as a loss (like you can sometimes with your own children).

I know one provider who was in business for over 30 years and when her daughter (who is also one of her main assistants) was expecting she told her she would still need to pay for the spot when she needed to bring her baby to work, but did offer the family/friend discount- and she charges on the higher end of FCC rates in the town. That was because

When it comes down to it at the end of the day it is a business. If you did it for free for them then other close friends and family will expect you offer them free daycare too, then where does that get you? They need to understand you are a business owner and need to make sure that you can still make enough to get by if you need to turn down other children, otherwise just tell them "No, I'm sorry but I do not want this to ruin our family. So I just will not take grandbaby". That is probably why some providers on here turn down their services for family and friends.

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Not trying to be too harsh, or judgmental......but teaching this generation that they shouldn't have a sense of entitlement is something that needs to start from the day they are born, not once they are grown with children of their own.

As a parent I would NEVER expect my parents to watch my children for nothing, or attempt to guilt trip them into doing anything. Having that mentality comes from the way someone is raised.

On the flipside of that equation I can't imagine being a grandparent and charging my children for watching my grandkids.


Sounds like there are serious respect and boundary issues here. Requiring they pay for your time will not solve those issues or make you feel better about how they're treating you, guaranteed it will only end up making things worse if they just start throwing cash in your lap to boot. I would lay down some solid expectations and be honest about how I felt if I were you. "Here is what I'm willing to offer and this is why....I feel you are taking advantage of me and that makes me very uncomfortable....I am concerned/annoyed/angry that you have this sense of entitlement.....I love my grandchild with my whole heart but that doesn't mean I will stand for being taken advantage of.....It upsets me that I feel you have no concern for my health or respect for my business.....etc. etc. etc."

If you don't speak up and then stand firm in regards to your feelings they're going to continue to try to walk all over you.

Require they have a lot of maturing to do and need to learn and handle their child like every other parent does (I can't remember the last time I went to a movie, had a "night out" or cleaned my house alone lol). Sounds like they need a serious dose of reality, play time is over kids! Time to grow the heck up!

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A while ago a good provider friend of mine was asked to care for her grandchildren in her dc. She was not going to charge at all. I asked her if she was CRAZY?! And I meant it. I asked her if her children were going to give her money for retirement? Were they going to put on an addition to their home so when her home got too much for her so she could downsize but be close to family? As much as she loved her grandbabies they are taking up spots that could go to paying clients. I sometimes feel as if we are expected to do this job for the love, but love won't keep a roof over our heads or food in our bellies.
And in this case it sounds as if the same son that expects "special" is going to be the one complaining what a strain having to support mom in her later years is.

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Don't allow anyone to give you guilt trip ,not your son and, not people that don't know you. I would never in a million years give my mom a guilt tripis she asked me to pay half. I always offer my mom money when she baby sits. I value my children and my mother. I know it's hard work, and i want whomever cares for my children to feel appreciated. I have a sister with 7 kids whi feels like it is the world's responsibility to watch her children every weekend so that she can go clubbing simply becuase we are blood related, so maybe this is where these feelings come from for me. I also was reluctant to take on my sister's kids out of fear that I would get the same texts about overnight visits. No one is entitled to anything. I happiy paid my mom to watch my mother to watch my child while I finished college, and on the days that she didn't feel like dealing with a baby I happily took her to a drop in daycare. My child, my responsibility, my problem. My mom raised 3 children. We all have different views on this, and it doesn't make you a bad parent.
PS. MY dad lived with me for 2 years. He ate my food, used my electricity, and watched my cable. I still valued his time and paid hime to watch my toddler while I worked. If I wanted to go out for dinner, I still made sure he was absolutely fine with it. Some people just don't get it. Our relatives are people. They have feelings, and value.

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This is personal preference in my 3 cents- If you run a home daycare as your business and your way of income, it is perfectly acceptable to ask to be paid. Your only allowed so many slots to make your income- If your set in the $ area and want to do it to help your kids out, then go for it. Maybe your asking for a little $ to off set the money is takes to take care of a child.

If my children want to bring their kids to me, then I would offer a discount or do it for nothing- but I would expect respect from my children and them to do nice things for me also, which they do- I wouldn't just want to be felt taken advantage of and I think this all depends upon the dynamics of the relationship between parent and child and grandchild-

When my children went to another relative that also does daycare, I never expected a break or discount or special treatment. Daycare providers work very hard and should be compensated for what they are worth. Its hard long days.

My advice is to do what is best for your situation-

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I am hoping that when the time comes I can offer my children daycare for their children. I would, ideally not charge them but expect them to put the fees into a school savings plan for the baby. 3 years at 700$ a month would be a good start.

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OP- I support your decision not to provide free daycare to your grandchildren. My daughter is pregnant and I have made it very clear that I will help like a grandmother does but not during business hours. They wouldn't expect a grandma that works in an office to watch the baby at her work, it's the same thing here. This is my work, I run my own business. After hours I'm happy to babysit when I can. Just like any other working grandparent.

Everyone has their own boundaries, different things work for different people.

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I would never ask my parents or ils to provide daycare for free. And while I would offer a discount to my own kids, I am running a business and need my income for my own retirement and bills. I think a 50% discount is very generous!!

My sister teaches piano lessons and I wouldn't ask her to teach my kids free. My mom is a hair stylistic and I wouldn't expect her to colour and hilight my hair for free. Businesses need to have their expenses covered at the very least.

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come as a regular during business hours they pay though I may give a discount. After hour care is grandma time and I can say no. The difference is during work hours they need to know I will be here and not going out to lunch. After hours I am just grandma.

If they do not like it then find other childcare and I will just do grandma time.

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I've had this discussion with my 20 yo daughter and 16 yo son. I would love to take care of their children when the time comes. They will pay the regular rate. I will start a college fund and put half of that money into it. The other half will go to the cost of caring for a child....food, art supplies, regular bills.

My take on this is THEY are getting grandma, who already has a built in bond with the child. THEY are getting someone they already trust. THEY are getting someone with similar values. THEY are getting lots of perks. I get my grandchild and get to see them on a regular basis and shower them with grandma love.

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I charge my daughter and son-in-law to keep my grandchildren.

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Thank you for your professional opinions!

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There is no one right way. It has to be what is right for you not one of us. Do not feel bad about your decision. Yes explain to him if you need to it is a business with costs and you do this to make a living. But the decision has to be what is right for you.

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