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Thriftylady 05:48 AM 06-09-2016
I swear some days I think I should quit trying so hard and go to a free play all day only program. The other day we had our cooking lesson for the week. We made banana muffins. We had some that day of course, some for breakfast yesterday morning, and I gave them each half of one this morning to finish them off. I have all SAers except the pre K who is 5 that starts kindy this fall. My oldest (8 yr old), starts giving me 20 questions about why she only gets half a muffin, she wants a whole one. So when I say "there isn't enough to give everyone a whole one, so you each get half" she starts pouting. At that point, I said something I shouldn't have. I said "well if you can't be happy with your half a muffin, I can eat it for you.". I know I shouldn't have said that, so no throwing tomatoes please. I am just so tired of doing so much with/for them and it never seeming to be good enough. Does anyone else have this issue? If so how do you get past it?
Laurel 06:23 AM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I swear some days I think I should quit trying so hard and go to a free play all day only program. The other day we had our cooking lesson for the week. We made banana muffins. We had some that day of course, some for breakfast yesterday morning, and I gave them each half of one this morning to finish them off. I have all SAers except the pre K who is 5 that starts kindy this fall. My oldest (8 yr old), starts giving me 20 questions about why she only gets half a muffin, she wants a whole one. So when I say "there isn't enough to give everyone a whole one, so you each get half" she starts pouting. At that point, I said something I shouldn't have. I said "well if you can't be happy with your half a muffin, I can eat it for you.". I know I shouldn't have said that, so no throwing tomatoes please. I am just so tired of doing so much with/for them and it never seeming to be good enough. Does anyone else have this issue? If so how do you get past it?
I think that was the perfect thing to say. It sounds like what I would have said. We cater to kids too much. You didn't demean the child or be mean. I think you handled it perfectly so keep up the good work! I swear some days I think I should quit trying so hard and go to a free play all day only program. The other day we had our cooking lesson for the week. We made banana muffins. We had some that day of course, some for breakfast yesterday morning, and I gave them each half of one this morning to finish them off. I have all SAers except the pre K who is 5 that starts kindy this fall. My oldest (8 yr old), starts giving me 20 questions about why she only gets half a muffin, she wants a whole one. So when I say "there isn't enough to give everyone a whole one, so you each get half" she starts pouting. At that point, I said something I shouldn't have. I said "well if you can't be happy with your half a muffin, I can eat it for you.". I know I shouldn't have said that, so no throwing tomatoes please. I am just so tired of doing so much with/for them and it never seeming to be good enough. Does anyone else have this issue? If so how do you get past it?
sharlan 06:46 AM 06-09-2016
How did I deal with a child like that? I termed him. He made my days miserable. There was absolutely NOTHING I could do to get through to him. Nothing was ever appreciated.
AmyKidsCo 07:11 AM 06-09-2016
Yup! My reply would've been similar - "If you don't want it you don't have to eat it."
I call it the "Take it or Leave it Cafe"
I call it the "Take it or Leave it Cafe"
spud912 07:19 AM 06-09-2016
I like your response!I usually say "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit." I say it so much that the kids finish saying it for me.
OR I simply start singing the intro to the song "you can't always get what you want, no you can't always get what you want, but you can try sometimes, and you'll find you get what you need."
childcaremom 08:18 AM 06-09-2016
I handle it much the same as everyone else.
One dcg used to say "You get what you get and you don't get upset." It is very effective when friends are saying it to the complainers.
One dcg used to say "You get what you get and you don't get upset." It is very effective when friends are saying it to the complainers.
MrsSteinel'sHouse 08:49 AM 06-09-2016
I also would have said something similar to what you said 
Free play all day- love it with the little ones but when I did SA summer I always had a plan. If they made their own plan- fine great I left them alone. But, if they were making trouble we then switched into my plan. It was a lot of science and art... games and history. Made the days go by quicker!
Free play all day- love it with the little ones but when I did SA summer I always had a plan. If they made their own plan- fine great I left them alone. But, if they were making trouble we then switched into my plan. It was a lot of science and art... games and history. Made the days go by quicker!
Thriftylady 09:17 AM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse:
I also would have said something similar to what you said
Free play all day- love it with the little ones but when I did SA summer I always had a plan. If they made their own plan- fine great I left them alone. But, if they were making trouble we then switched into my plan. It was a lot of science and art... games and history. Made the days go by quicker!
I have found the problem with free play all day with the olders, is to much of it and they start fighting. I can say my dynamic seems to have changed since the new one started last week. She is the one who is never happy, who is a bit defiant etc.I also would have said something similar to what you said
Free play all day- love it with the little ones but when I did SA summer I always had a plan. If they made their own plan- fine great I left them alone. But, if they were making trouble we then switched into my plan. It was a lot of science and art... games and history. Made the days go by quicker!
Josiegirl 09:43 AM 06-09-2016
If you think that wasn't appropriate to say, I probably shouldn't tell you what I did awhile back. Similar problem, whiny dck, can't remember the age but all I kept hearing was 'I don't like that. I don't want that. wah wah wah' So much so that I finally lost it. And I had already used a couple of answers mentioned here. But they kept on, ground my patience right down. I took it off his plate, and went into the dogs' bedroom and gave it to them. 
Thriftylady 09:48 AM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
If you think that wasn't appropriate to say, I probably shouldn't tell you what I did awhile back. Similar problem, whiny dck, can't remember the age but all I kept hearing was 'I don't like that. I don't want that. wah wah wah' So much so that I finally lost it. And I had already used a couple of answers mentioned here. But they kept on, ground my patience right down. I took it off his plate, and went into the dogs' bedroom and gave it to them.
I don't know, I guess I feel like I always have to watch every little thing I say and do. I am legally unlicensed, was licensed in KS, and got written up for putting a child in time out, because "it was demeaning and embarrassing to the child to send them away from the group for time out". They said time outs had to happen with the group, the child couldn't be sent away from the activity. I mean if I had thought it was so wrong, I wouldn't have done it when my licensing agent was sitting there going over my paperwork! Every since them I am so careful about what I do and say.If you think that wasn't appropriate to say, I probably shouldn't tell you what I did awhile back. Similar problem, whiny dck, can't remember the age but all I kept hearing was 'I don't like that. I don't want that. wah wah wah' So much so that I finally lost it. And I had already used a couple of answers mentioned here. But they kept on, ground my patience right down. I took it off his plate, and went into the dogs' bedroom and gave it to them.
Josiegirl 09:54 AM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I don't know, I guess I feel like I always have to watch every little thing I say and do. I am legally unlicensed, was licensed in KS, and got written up for putting a child in time out, because "it was demeaning and embarrassing to the child to send them away from the group for time out". They said time outs had to happen with the group, the child couldn't be sent away from the activity. I mean if I had thought it was so wrong, I wouldn't have done it when my licensing agent was sitting there going over my paperwork! Every since them I am so careful about what I do and say.
Nowadays I use a modified version of time-out, separating a dck on their own blanket with their own activities. TO just never worked all that well for the ones who really needed the discipline. But to say it demeans and embarrasses them is stretching it. Just maybe if a child is doing something that warrants a TO then he ought to be a bit embarrassed about his behavior. KWIM? So the authority figure's hands get tied and the kids rule. Where does that get us? Exactly where so many of us providers see parents and childrens' relationships these days.I don't know, I guess I feel like I always have to watch every little thing I say and do. I am legally unlicensed, was licensed in KS, and got written up for putting a child in time out, because "it was demeaning and embarrassing to the child to send them away from the group for time out". They said time outs had to happen with the group, the child couldn't be sent away from the activity. I mean if I had thought it was so wrong, I wouldn't have done it when my licensing agent was sitting there going over my paperwork! Every since them I am so careful about what I do and say.
Thriftylady 09:58 AM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Nowadays I use a modified version of time-out, separating a dck on their own blanket with their own activities. TO just never worked all that well for the ones who really needed the discipline. But to say it demeans and embarrasses them is stretching it. Just maybe if a child is doing something that warrants a TO then he ought to be a bit embarrassed about his behavior. KWIM? So the authority figure's hands get tied and the kids rule. Where does that get us? Exactly where so many of us providers see parents and childrens' relationships these days.
I totally agree with you. According to DD it is awful in schools, especially the high school. She is so glad to not be there for her senior year and doing it at the community college, she couldn't stand the behavior anymore. While I totally agree with you, I don't see how we change that until we somehow convince parents that their children can and should be taught to behave.Nowadays I use a modified version of time-out, separating a dck on their own blanket with their own activities. TO just never worked all that well for the ones who really needed the discipline. But to say it demeans and embarrasses them is stretching it. Just maybe if a child is doing something that warrants a TO then he ought to be a bit embarrassed about his behavior. KWIM? So the authority figure's hands get tied and the kids rule. Where does that get us? Exactly where so many of us providers see parents and childrens' relationships these days.
Ariana 10:16 AM 06-09-2016
That is nothing! I was pouring milk once for kids in a centre and one kid (the complainer) said "you gave me the least amount of milk" and I said "yeah and if I had given you more you would've been p!ssed about that too" LOL! Oh boy! Not good. "Ms Ariana said a bad word". 
Anyway we have all done it!! I think what you said was a good thing and I would have said it or worse!
I agree with the others, some behavioral "specialists" take it too far. Everything is demeaning and embarassing for kids these days. Some shame has been shown to help regulate behavior so it is good in my opinion.
I was pouring milk once for kids in a centre and one kid (the complainer) said "you gave me the least amount of milk" and I said "yeah and if I had given you more you would've been p!ssed about that too" LOL! Oh boy! Not good. "Ms Ariana said a bad word". Anyway we have all done it!! I think what you said was a good thing and I would have said it or worse!
I agree with the others, some behavioral "specialists" take it too far. Everything is demeaning and embarassing for kids these days. Some shame has been shown to help regulate behavior so it is good in my opinion.
daycarediva 11:11 AM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by spud912:
I like your response!
I usually say "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit." I say it so much that the kids finish saying it for me.
OR I simply start singing the intro to the song "you can't always get what you want, no you can't always get what you want, but you can try sometimes, and you'll find you get what you need."
I like your response!I usually say "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit." I say it so much that the kids finish saying it for me.
OR I simply start singing the intro to the song "you can't always get what you want, no you can't always get what you want, but you can try sometimes, and you'll find you get what you need."
that's what I say, too! I completely ignore, as in DO NOT ANSWER my whiner. When she repeats it continuously I act oblivious, unless another child says " E says ___and I say "Oh I can't HEAR E. Is she whining? My ears don't hear whining!" I once had a child reply "WELL MY EARS DO AND IT'S ANNOYING!"
Touche! Originally Posted by Ariana:
That is nothing! I was pouring milk once for kids in a centre and one kid (the complainer) said "you gave me the least amount of milk" and I said "yeah and if I had given you more you would've been p!ssed about that too" LOL! Oh boy! Not good. "Ms Ariana said a bad word".
Anyway we have all done it!! I think what you said was a good thing and I would have said it or worse!
I agree with the others, some behavioral "specialists" take it too far. Everything is demeaning and embarassing for kids these days. Some shame has been shown to help regulate behavior so it is good in my opinion.
That is nothing!
I was pouring milk once for kids in a centre and one kid (the complainer) said "you gave me the least amount of milk" and I said "yeah and if I had given you more you would've been p!ssed about that too" LOL! Oh boy! Not good. "Ms Ariana said a bad word". Anyway we have all done it!! I think what you said was a good thing and I would have said it or worse!
I agree with the others, some behavioral "specialists" take it too far. Everything is demeaning and embarassing for kids these days. Some shame has been shown to help regulate behavior so it is good in my opinion.
I said flat out to a dck "I don't care what you like or do not like. This is what we are having. Eat or be excused, your choice."
She ate.
Thriftylady 01:05 PM 06-09-2016
This same girl struck again this afternoon. We were painting the wood crafts from WM, the little $1 cars, planes and such. I didn't have enough of everything for them to all get what they wanted, so I had them draw numbers for who picked first. After everyone picked she says "well I think we should get to paint two". GRR I spend so much time and money making sure these kids have things to do, and for this one nothing is ever good enough.
AmyKidsCo 01:07 PM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
This same girl struck again this afternoon. We were painting the wood crafts from WM, the little $1 cars, planes and such. I didn't have enough of everything for them to all get what they wanted, so I had them draw numbers for who picked first. After everyone picked she says "well I think we should get to paint two". GRR I spend so much time and money making sure these kids have things to do, and for this one nothing is ever good enough.
"That's a FANTASTIC idea! Why don't you bring _____ next week so we can all paint two." This same girl struck again this afternoon. We were painting the wood crafts from WM, the little $1 cars, planes and such. I didn't have enough of everything for them to all get what they wanted, so I had them draw numbers for who picked first. After everyone picked she says "well I think we should get to paint two". GRR I spend so much time and money making sure these kids have things to do, and for this one nothing is ever good enough.
Thriftylady 01:13 PM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
"That's a FANTASTIC idea! Why don't you bring _____ next week so we can all paint two."
Actually I did tell her if she and her family wanted to donate art supplies, we would do more art. Right now they do one "project" a week, then usually another on Friday at the library summer reading program. Then of course other days there is coloring and such available. I have just never had a child so impossible to please I guess. I mean sure I would love to do unlimited art, and I would if people were willing to pay more for care!"That's a FANTASTIC idea! Why don't you bring _____ next week so we can all paint two."
Laurel 09:18 PM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
This same girl struck again this afternoon. We were painting the wood crafts from WM, the little $1 cars, planes and such. I didn't have enough of everything for them to all get what they wanted, so I had them draw numbers for who picked first. After everyone picked she says "well I think we should get to paint two". GRR I spend so much time and money making sure these kids have things to do, and for this one nothing is ever good enough.
I think I would give her a 'talking to'. If she is school age then she can understand what complaining means. Give her examples and tell her you are tired of hearing her complain or ask for more. Tell her it is rude and you don't want to hear any more of it. I'd say it sternly and then say "Do you understand me?" with 'the look'. If she then continues, remind her and add a consequence.This same girl struck again this afternoon. We were painting the wood crafts from WM, the little $1 cars, planes and such. I didn't have enough of everything for them to all get what they wanted, so I had them draw numbers for who picked first. After everyone picked she says "well I think we should get to paint two". GRR I spend so much time and money making sure these kids have things to do, and for this one nothing is ever good enough.
Blackcat31 06:41 AM 06-10-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I have found the problem with free play all day with the olders, is to much of it and they start fighting.
My kids free play ALL day in the summer months. I have found the problem with free play all day with the olders, is to much of it and they start fighting.
The trick is to limit the number of kids allowed to participate in each activity and to rotate activities and options to move from one activity to another at timed intervals.
For example, my kiddos came in this morning and have 3 choices (wooden blocks, art center or office)
I set up each of these areas prior to their arrival.
The main item stays the same but the "extras" get swapped out. Such as the office area... this week it's been a post office. I supply envelopes, boxes, stamps, paper, pens, mailbox, letter carrier bag, post office hats, name tags, packing material etc. Next week, it's going to be a restaurant.
Each area is allowed no more than 3 kids MAX. Each child chooses which center/activity they are going to play in.
The bell goes off 30-60 minutes later. (depending on several factors)
We break for bathroom use and diaper changes and switch to a new centers.
If someone starts to fight with someone else, they have a choice...work it out among yourselves or leave the activity and sit on the reading nook/corner until it's time to switch centers.
You get pretty good at knowing who should and shouldn't play together too so I have said no/"make an different choice" to a DCK when they choose to play in a center someone they don't play well with is already in.
It's just part of the routine.
In all honesty, I get bored stiff in the summer time. My kids all play together nicely and have the rotation expectations down pat leaving me with very little to do.
My only involvement is to rotate centers/themes and supplies.
“I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.” ~ Albert Einstein
Annalee 06:48 AM 06-10-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
My kids free play ALL day in the summer months.
The trick is to limit the number of kids allowed to participate in each activity and to rotate activities and options to move from one activity to another at timed intervals.
For example, my kiddos came in this morning and have 3 choices (wooden blocks, art center or office)
I set up each of these areas prior to their arrival.
The main item stays the same but the "extras" get swapped out. Such as the office area... this week it's been a post office. I supply envelopes, boxes, stamps, paper, pens, mailbox, letter carrier bag, post office hats, name tags, packing material etc. Next week, it's going to be a restaurant.
Each area is allowed no more than 3 kids MAX. Each child chooses which center/activity they are going to play in.
The bell goes off 30-60 minutes later. (depending on several factors)
We break for bathroom use and diaper changes and switch to a new centers.
If someone starts to fight with someone else, they have a choice...work it out among yourselves or leave the activity and sit on the reading nook/corner until it's time to switch centers.
You get pretty good at knowing who should and shouldn't play together too so I have said no/"make an different choice" to a DCK when they choose to play in a center someone they don't play well with is already in.
It's just part of the routine.
In all honesty, I get bored stiff in the summer time. My kids all play together nicely and have the rotation expectations down pat leaving me with very little to do.
My only involvement is to rotate centers/themes and supplies.
“I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.” ~ Albert Einstein
Same here on the free play with set up centers but I don't keep school kids by choice...I don't feel equipped for them materially or emotionally or mentallyMy kids free play ALL day in the summer months.
The trick is to limit the number of kids allowed to participate in each activity and to rotate activities and options to move from one activity to another at timed intervals.
For example, my kiddos came in this morning and have 3 choices (wooden blocks, art center or office)
I set up each of these areas prior to their arrival.
The main item stays the same but the "extras" get swapped out. Such as the office area... this week it's been a post office. I supply envelopes, boxes, stamps, paper, pens, mailbox, letter carrier bag, post office hats, name tags, packing material etc. Next week, it's going to be a restaurant.
Each area is allowed no more than 3 kids MAX. Each child chooses which center/activity they are going to play in.
The bell goes off 30-60 minutes later. (depending on several factors)
We break for bathroom use and diaper changes and switch to a new centers.
If someone starts to fight with someone else, they have a choice...work it out among yourselves or leave the activity and sit on the reading nook/corner until it's time to switch centers.
You get pretty good at knowing who should and shouldn't play together too so I have said no/"make an different choice" to a DCK when they choose to play in a center someone they don't play well with is already in.
It's just part of the routine.
In all honesty, I get bored stiff in the summer time. My kids all play together nicely and have the rotation expectations down pat leaving me with very little to do.
My only involvement is to rotate centers/themes and supplies.
“I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.” ~ Albert Einstein
Blackcat31 06:57 AM 06-10-2016
Originally Posted by Annalee:
Same here on the free play with set up centers but I don't keep school kids by choice...I don't feel equipped for them materially or emotionally or mentally
I don't take them either. Same here on the free play with set up centers but I don't keep school kids by choice...I don't feel equipped for them materially or emotionally or mentally
I used to.
They tend to bring out emotions and thoughts in me that are not very positive.
Thriftylady 07:01 AM 06-10-2016
If I didn't take SA kids, I wouldn't have any. I got another call just yesterday for a Pre K and a SA. I literally wouldn't have ANY kids if I didn't take them. Right now my youngest one is 5 and starting Kindy this fall.
Annalee 07:05 AM 06-10-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't take them either.
I used to.
They tend to bring out emotions and thoughts in me that are not very positive.
I don't take them either.
I used to.
They tend to bring out emotions and thoughts in me that are not very positive.