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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Have You Ever Thought To Yourself "I Have A Future Serial Killer In My Care!"?
crazydaycarelady 08:01 AM 04-19-2013
I know that seems harsh but I have the weirdest kid in my care and it is not just me. The other kids complain about him, my family members have mentioned what a strange kid he is, if there is ever a complaint about behavior it is the other parents commenting on this child's behavior.

The other day he put on the show of a lifetime!!!

His mom accidently caught his macaroni necklace in the door and a piece of macaroni broke off. He was screaming in my front yard, throwing rocks at his mom and yelling that he hated her. Of course this was at pick-up time so it was witnessed by just about everybody. It was so bad another dcm came in and commented on it. I am sure it was stressful for dcm to have this going on in front of everyone but she just kept apologizing and rationalizing with her demented kid.

He also steals.
Hits other kids and my dogs when I am not looking.
Puts his face right up to another childs face and makes an evil face.
He is sneaky.
Still has a blanket and sucks on it (at age 5.)
Cannot write his name or color a decent picture to save his life.

He does have good manners, I will give him that.
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sharlan 08:06 AM 04-19-2013
Yes, I had a child that I really wonder what type of adult she's become. She would be about 21 now. She had no remorse for her actions, lied so convincingly that you began to believe you didn't see what you know you saw. On the surface, she was so sweet and innocent. I was positive at 5 that she was a psychopath.

I was really happy to see that family go.
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clep 08:08 AM 04-19-2013
I have had a child like that. The parents left as I chose to take my day home full time and they didn't want to pay for full time for their two children. The son is just fine. He just needs strong boundaries, patience and attention. He did fantastic here for about two years.

When they left, he went right downhill and was determined to be the work of two children by the other three providers he went through in the first two months. The government now provides their family reimbursement for two spots for him.

Mom and dad asked if they could do part time care here again and I let them know they couldn't, but they could go full time. The children are in separate day homes now. They could have their sons spot fully paid for and only pay for their daughter but they don't want to pay for the spot even knowing their son will excel here.

They can't afford it, but the drive a brand new BMW!!!!
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MyAngels 08:12 AM 04-19-2013
No daycare kids, but I have a nephew that I have thought for sure would be. He's made it to 25 now, and no one has turned up missing yet, though
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MotherNature 08:28 AM 04-19-2013
i have the same kid! The evil face thing is spot on. Throws stuff at people. Takes items other kids like and hides them from them. i have found so many things hidden behind my couch and fake fireplace mantel. mine just turned 3. Don't know about serial killer, but there's some delays and he's showing a lot of red flags. just in the past 2 weeks, he's regressed a lot and his behaviour has gotten worse and more aggressive. of course, mom won't get him evaluated. sigh.
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MotherNature 08:30 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by clep:
I have had a child like that. The parents left as I chose to take my day home full time and they didn't want to pay for full time for their two children. The son is just fine. He just needs strong boundaries, patience and attention. He did fantastic here for about two years.

When they left, he went right downhill and was determined to be the work of two children by the other three providers he went through in the first two months. The government now provides their family reimbursement for two spots for him.

Mom and dad asked if they could do part time care here again and I let them know they couldn't, but they could go full time. The children are in separate day homes now. They could have their sons spot fully paid for and only pay for their daughter but they don't want to pay for the spot even knowing their son will excel here.

They can't afford it, but the drive a brand new BMW!!!!
funny how people skimp on childcare/ cost for education, yet always have nice new material crap.
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Meeko 08:34 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Yes, I had a child that I really wonder what type of adult she's become. She would be about 21 now. She had no remorse for her actions, lied so convincingly that you began to believe you didn't see what you know you saw. On the surface, she was so sweet and innocent. I was positive at 5 that she was a psychopath.

I was really happy to see that family go.
Been there. Done that.
My oldest son.
Officially diagnosed sociopath.

Sometimes it's just kids that need a firm hand.
Sometimes there's not one darn thing you can do except escape.
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Blackcat31 08:55 AM 04-19-2013
Sounds to me like he is just a spoiled brat.

Like Meeko pointed out....there are certain signs, one being lack of remorse and empathy for anyone.

The behavior OP describes sounds to me like the parents simply never disciplined or followed through with anything and the child has no coping skills and does not do well with frustration or when the world tips a bit.

...those kinds of spoiled rotten kids have complete meltdowns when "real life" happens.
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Oneluckymom 09:02 AM 04-19-2013
Psychopath...Its probably early to tell...but the tendencies may be there.

Is it just me or does dc mom sound like she's afraid of her son according to how you described the scene?
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EAP 09:10 AM 04-19-2013
Not a kid I watch but a kid in my neighborhood is a sociopath no questions asked - cruelty to animals and all - he is the same age as my son and blocking all interaction is a fulltime job! Luckily my kid gets it and knew after 1 play date the kid was trouble. They were then 5 and the kid locked my son in a room and blasted music. My son has SPD and can't handle loud anything - he was hysterical. My guess is the other kids parents lock him in his room because his door lock is on the outside so they can lock him in - which is what he did to my son.
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countrymom 09:21 AM 04-19-2013
yup. I termed the. The last straw was when I was putting the babies upstairs for bed and came down to find 3 of them missing (my niece, crazy dcb and another dcb) they were all 3 at the time. Apparently dcb told the other two to be "sneaky" and go outside. And that they couldn't tell anyone it was a secret. He denied it, but the other two told the same story. Also, he had black beady eyes, that I swear he was the devils spawn. You know when some one gives you the willies, well this kid did. He also use to say awful things in the kids ears when they would eat lunch. It was so bad that the other dck's were having nightmares about him. After I found that out I had to term him, they must have sensed that something was wrong with him.
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cheerfuldom 09:39 AM 04-19-2013
in defense of kids that are mis-labeled as "crazy", there are a number of legitimate reasons for kids to exhibit aggressive behavior, etc that do not include the kid being spoiled or a sociopath. just be careful about how you approach kids and parents of kids. i know firsthand it can be very hurtful to have a special needs kid that is misunderstood by most people. i do think the parent should recognize and see the behavior for what it is and pursue help for it though.
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EAP 09:46 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
in defense of kids that are mis-labeled as "crazy", there are a number of legitimate reasons for kids to exhibit aggressive behavior, etc that do not include the kid being spoiled or a sociopath. just be careful about how you approach kids and parents of kids. i know firsthand it can be very hurtful to have a special needs kid that is misunderstood by most people. i do think the parent should recognize and see the behavior for what it is and pursue help for it though.
This is very true - my son has SPD and when he is on overload he has tantrums and looks and acts like a total brat - but he has a lot going on and coping is something we are working on.
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daycarediva 10:03 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
in defense of kids that are mis-labeled as "crazy", there are a number of legitimate reasons for kids to exhibit aggressive behavior, etc that do not include the kid being spoiled or a sociopath. just be careful about how you approach kids and parents of kids. i know firsthand it can be very hurtful to have a special needs kid that is misunderstood by most people. i do think the parent should recognize and see the behavior for what it is and pursue help for it though.
very good thing to point out.

My ds has autism and SPD, and sometimes his behavior at 11 is more like a whiny two year old throwing a fit when all that's bothering him is someones perfume.

Op- not a daycare kid, but a former neighbors kid was very violent, and I once found him outside, poking a stick THROUGH a frog. The frog was obviously in pain, and when I told him to stop, that he was hurting it, he gave me the creepiest look and said "I know. It's fun." He is 9ish now, and already on PINS (persons in need of supervision, like parole for minors here)
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crazydaycarelady 10:40 AM 04-19-2013
The thing that is amazing is that dcm works at an integrated preschool. They have 4 "regular" kids and 8 special needs kids. You would think she of all people would recognize a problem.

Instead she told me she would like dcb to be reading by the time he goes to kindergarten. I think in her mind that will mean he is really smart and a success. I am not sure how successful he is going to be considering he R~A~G~E~D for 2 solid hours last week when he discovered that dcm forgot his blanket.
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youretooloud 10:50 AM 04-19-2013
My cousin's daughter was like this. As a toddler/preschooler... she had tantrums that would last hours and hours. The whole family was held at her mercy every day.

She would be sneaky and lean over with her sharpened pencil and stab the kid next to her, then lie about it. Even if there were witnesses, she'd stick to her lie.

She set her garage on fire with the cousin still inside. Lied about doing it, but the building next door had a security camera and caught it all on tape.

Her brother's pets disappeared one at a time. Everyone was convinced she had something to do with it.

When she was older, she took a bus to the police station and told them that her Step Father had molested her. They took her to a hospital, arrested the step dad, and mom divorced him...then, she did the same thing accusing a teacher at her private school...there was an investigation, and she admitted she made it up and also lied about her step dad.

She told everybody she was a lesbian, got into a relationship with a woman in Vietnam. When the woman sent her money to come to Vietnam "to escape the abuse at home", she went to Vietnam, then admitted that she was indeed not a lesbian, and used the tickets and money the woman gave her to live off of for a year. Then came back to the U.S.

Right now, she's living somewhere in Central or South America, doing heaven knows what.

All that, and she's only 21 yrs old now.
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Oneluckymom 11:55 AM 04-19-2013
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
My cousin's daughter was like this. As a toddler/preschooler... she had tantrums that would last hours and hours. The whole family was held at her mercy every day.

She would be sneaky and lean over with her sharpened pencil and stab the kid next to her, then lie about it. Even if there were witnesses, she'd stick to her lie.

She set her garage on fire with the cousin still inside. Lied about doing it, but the building next door had a security camera and caught it all on tape.

Her brother's pets disappeared one at a time. Everyone was convinced she had something to do with it.

When she was older, she took a bus to the police station and told them that her Step Father had molested her. They took her to a hospital, arrested the step dad, and mom divorced him...then, she did the same thing accusing a teacher at her private school...there was an investigation, and she admitted she made it up and also lied about her step dad.

She told everybody she was a lesbian, got into a relationship with a woman in Vietnam. When the woman sent her money to come to Vietnam "to escape the abuse at home", she went to Vietnam, then admitted that she was indeed not a lesbian, and used the tickets and money the woman gave her to live off of for a year. Then came back to the U.S.

Right now, she's living somewhere in Central or South America, doing heaven knows what.

All that, and she's only 21 yrs old now.
WOW.....Unbelievable. My step dad has SPD....probably among other things. My mom divorced him after 24 years of marriage. Long story. But I know the habitual lying, deceit, and HEAVY manipulation these people are capable of.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 12:05 PM 04-19-2013
Yes, I did and I termed them and then got blamed for his violent, wretched behavior by one parent while the other parent said they knew they had a problem on their hands and just didn't know what to do about it anymore.
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countrymom 12:09 PM 04-19-2013
my bil is like this. He's a habitual liar, its so bad that even my kids know what kind of person he is. He's been in jail too, and has done all sorts of wierd things. I don't let the kids near him as he is a bit too touchy feely with them. Even when he was younger he was naughty. He was also a theif
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Bookworm 07:36 PM 04-19-2013
I had a DCB about 4 yrs ago exactly like this. He was 4 at the time and extremely manipulative. Mom and gmom believed everything he said. Before coming to us, he was kicked out of his previous home daycare for stomping on frogs to kill them, stabbing the babies (he was very sneaky), and attempting to smother a baby.

Then he came to us. During his first week, he would constantly ask me if he was a bad boy. He said that his old teachers used to call him bad all the time. This broke my heart so I called mom to ask about his previous daycare and she said the same thing and that was why he was pulled.

Fast forward 2 wks, his true self came out. While we were washing hands for lunch, he turned around and poked another DCB in the eye with soap on his hands while I was standing there passing out soap. He would also poke the other kids with nails he brought from home, steal ther stuff, spit in their food, and just walk up to a random kid and bite him. When asked why he did it, he said it was fun. The owner at the time was a "I have to fix every problem child no matter what" person so this went on for 7 months. The final straw was when my director came to observe my room on my request and he, out of the blue, ran to another child and began to choke him with both hand. He was kicked out immediately and was gone in 30 mins.
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Starburst 11:41 PM 04-19-2013
My old boss once said that one DCG was so shallow and attention hungry (because she was always fishing for complements) that she bet DCG would be a stuck-up cheerleader in high school and would wind up pregnant before she graduated .

But there are a lot of kids who we could kinda picture what they would be like as an adult or teenager. There are a few DCBs we all know for sure would have lots of girl admirers when they are older (they're adorable and really sweet). But there was one DCB who had a lot of cognitive issues; not really violent but very delayed in comprehension skills, sometimes to the point where it effected the safety of others. But his mom just wouldn't get him tested for a learning disability. I don't necessarily think that he will be a serial killer, but I do think that he possibly will get in trouble with the law a few times because he is too trusting and borderline gullible; so I can see people pretending to be his friend and taking advantage of his kindness by framing him or convincing him he did something wrong when it was someone else.
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DaisyMamma 05:32 PM 04-20-2013
Yep, I've thought this before. LOL

It sounds like mom is enabling him. If i I were dcm I don't care what I did, mistake or not, no child of mine throws rocks at me! He would be huge trouble
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MrsSteinel'sHouse 10:34 AM 04-22-2013
I had a four year old tell my when he grows up he is going to ride a motorcycle and cut people up not little pieces!! I was not upset when they pulled him... I was too expensive!
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Tags:rage baby, violent child
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