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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Parents That Take Advantage
Unregistered 08:10 AM 03-06-2014
Hi! I am a provider in an area that has little need for child care. I have been a provider for many years and have been blessed not to encounter a situation like this. However, I have a parent that came to me a bit over a year ago, needing care for 3 days a week. She asked for a reduced rate (which I am willing to give if the situation works for both of us) and I obliged since she had two children. My hours are 630 am - 530 pm, unless approved for extended hours. I did, at the time, approve her for temporary extended hours, since she was changing jobs soon and would be going to a job that works with my hours. She then changed to 4 days a week, then 5. I was ok with 5 days because it was still within my daycare operating hours. She then reduced to 4 days working but still brings her children all 5 days. She is often late and I have been pretty lenient thus far. Now she has come to me and stated that she will be going back to working 3 days and week and needing after hours care once again but she still insists on bringing them all 5 days (because she needs time for "appts" - like hair, etc) at the same reduced rate! I take her children with me to our appointments, have back up care provided, do not receive paid time off and very few holidays. She also has a tendency to bring children in sick which we have had confrontation about. It is interfering with my family life. Am I wrong in thinking this is inappropriate? After much discussion with my husband, I have decided to give her an ultimatum... but really would like to hear other provider thoughts on this before I do. Open to ideas on ultimatums and wording of notice, as well. HEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!
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Blackcat31 09:04 AM 03-06-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Hi! I am a provider in an area that has little need for child care. I have been a provider for many years and have been blessed not to encounter a situation like this. However, I have a parent that came to me a bit over a year ago, needing care for 3 days a week. She asked for a reduced rate (which I am willing to give if the situation works for both of us) and I obliged since she had two children. My hours are 630 am - 530 pm, unless approved for extended hours. I did, at the time, approve her for temporary extended hours, since she was changing jobs soon and would be going to a job that works with my hours. She then changed to 4 days a week, then 5. I was ok with 5 days because it was still within my daycare operating hours. She then reduced to 4 days working but still brings her children all 5 days. She is often late and I have been pretty lenient thus far. Now she has come to me and stated that she will be going back to working 3 days and week and needing after hours care once again but she still insists on bringing them all 5 days (because she needs time for "appts" - like hair, etc) at the same reduced rate! I take her children with me to our appointments, have back up care provided, do not receive paid time off and very few holidays. She also has a tendency to bring children in sick which we have had confrontation about. It is interfering with my family life. Am I wrong in thinking this is inappropriate? After much discussion with my husband, I have decided to give her an ultimatum... but really would like to hear other provider thoughts on this before I do. Open to ideas on ultimatums and wording of notice, as well. HEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!
First think you need to do is take back your business.

Stop offering a reduced rate.
Stop allowing her to come and go outside her scheduled work hours. If she needs a babysitter to go get her hair done, she should hire one.

Stop allowing her to have access to the whole week but not use it. If you are going to give her access to the whole week, then charge her for it.

If you want to offer/provide care outside your regular hours do so but do it for a PREMIUM rate above the regular weekly rate.

Stop letting HER financial and personal issues to become yours.

Bottom line is STOP allowing her to dictate how your business is run.

YOU are the owner and the policy maker. YOU get to decide what services YOU offer.

SHE gets to decide if what you offer will work for her family and her needs. If they don't. SHE needs to figure out what to do next.

FWIW~ NONE of that is said t be rude or harsh. It is meant to help you because Girl, you ARE being taken advantage of!!

Please consider registering for the forum. There are many perks to being a registered member.
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NeedaVaca 09:07 AM 03-06-2014
No, you should raise her rate to your 5 day full time rate with no reduction. Charge a late fee when she is late and do not accept sick children. She is taking advantage of you because she is getting away with it.
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4bratzmum 09:41 AM 03-06-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
First think you need to do is take back your business.

Stop offering a reduced rate.
Stop allowing her to come and go outside her scheduled work hours. If she needs a babysitter to go get her hair done, she should hire one.

Stop allowing her to have access to the whole week but not use it. If you are going to give her access to the whole week, then charge her for it.

If you want to offer/provide care outside your regular hours do so but do it for a PREMIUM rate above the regular weekly rate.

Stop letting HER financial and personal issues to become yours.

Bottom line is STOP allowing her to dictate how your business is run.

YOU are the owner and the policy maker. YOU get to decide what services YOU offer.

SHE gets to decide if what you offer will work for her family and her needs. If they don't. SHE needs to figure out what to do next.

FWIW~ NONE of that is said t be rude or harsh. It is meant to help you because Girl, you ARE being taken advantage of!!

Please consider registering for the forum. There are many perks to being a registered member.
Absolutely! No offense taken! I did register but not until after posting this
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4bratzmum 09:44 AM 03-06-2014
Thanks so much for the advice. Yes, I am a very lenient provider. I worry more about being nice than doing what needs to be done. It has put me in this situation that, yes, I need to take back my business. I do everything by the book otherwise. Any ideas on the wording?
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MotherNature 10:13 AM 03-06-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
First think you need to do is take back your business.

Stop offering a reduced rate.
Stop allowing her to come and go outside her scheduled work hours. If she needs a babysitter to go get her hair done, she should hire one.

Stop allowing her to have access to the whole week but not use it. If you are going to give her access to the whole week, then charge her for it.

If you want to offer/provide care outside your regular hours do so but do it for a PREMIUM rate above the regular weekly rate.

Stop letting HER financial and personal issues to become yours.

Bottom line is STOP allowing her to dictate how your business is run.

YOU are the owner and the policy maker. YOU get to decide what services YOU offer.

SHE gets to decide if what you offer will work for her family and her needs. If they don't. SHE needs to figure out what to do next.

FWIW~ NONE of that is said t be rude or harsh. It is meant to help you because Girl, you ARE being taken advantage of!!

Please consider registering for the forum. There are many perks to being a registered member.
Yes to all of this. Mom is definitely taking advantage of you and she knows it.
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Laurel 10:17 AM 03-06-2014
Originally Posted by 4bratzmum:
Thanks so much for the advice. Yes, I am a very lenient provider. I worry more about being nice than doing what needs to be done. It has put me in this situation that, yes, I need to take back my business. I do everything by the book otherwise. Any ideas on the wording?
Dear DC Parent,

Our arrangement is no longer working for me. For this reason, I am making the following changes to my policies. (or the current schedule)

(Then spell out what you want)

Thank you,

Your DCP

She can choose to stay or go.

Laurel
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coolconfidentme 10:20 AM 03-06-2014
Always remember, Nobody can take advantage of you without your permission!
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4bratzmum 10:24 AM 03-06-2014
I agree 100% and take responsibility for my side of it. :-/
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My3cents 10:45 AM 03-06-2014
This is all good. You got great advice. I look forward to hearing more from you. Great place to get and give advice and make friends that do the same thing you do for a living.
Welcome!!!

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Blackcat31 11:46 AM 03-06-2014
Originally Posted by 4bratzmum:
Absolutely! No offense taken! I did register but not until after posting this
Welcome to the forum!

Stick around here and you will find TONS of advice and support helping you take back your business.

You said you are always worried about being nice which is a wonderful trait to have but let's look at niceness from the other side... the daycare mom's side.

You are being nice TO her but is she being nice TO you in return?

You know the answer to that is no. If she were as nice as you, she would respect your time, your policies and you.

Let's start with the basics.... What state are you in?
Are you licensed/registered/certified?

Do you have a handbook? A contract? Any form of written rules?
Reply
4bratzmum 12:47 PM 03-06-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Welcome to the forum!

Stick around here and you will find TONS of advice and support helping you take back your business.

You said you are always worried about being nice which is a wonderful trait to have but let's look at niceness from the other side... the daycare mom's side.

You are being nice TO her but is she being nice TO you in return?

You know the answer to that is no. If she were as nice as you, she would respect your time, your policies and you.

Let's start with the basics.... What state are you in?
Are you licensed/registered/certified?

Do you have a handbook? A contract? Any form of written rules?
I am not a licensed provider. However, I do everything by the book. Stay within my limits for non-licensed provider. I do have a very detailed handbook that I reissue at the beginning of every year. This year, I did the same, highlighting and bold printing some of the recurring issues and issued a form to be signed. She did not return it. I have a detailed contract and medical, transportation and photography releases. I think all my bases have been covered EXCEPT my leniency. I do worry about her withdrawing her children from care at this point because that takes away from our family budget in a town with few needing child care. Hoping to manage to get two more thru school before going to an "out of home" job. Working on composing my letter/ultimatum now.
Reply
Blackcat31 12:51 PM 03-06-2014
Originally Posted by 4bratzmum:
I am not a licensed provider. However, I do everything by the book. Stay within my limits for non-licensed provider. I do have a very detailed handbook that I reissue at the beginning of every year. This year, I did the same, highlighting and bold printing some of the recurring issues and issued a form to be signed. She did not return it. I have a detailed contract and medical, transportation and photography releases. I think all my bases have been covered EXCEPT my leniency. I do worry about her withdrawing her children from care at this point because that takes away from our family budget in a town with few needing child care. Hoping to manage to get two more thru school before going to an "out of home" job. Working on composing my letter/ultimatum now.


You are right about your leniency. THAT really is what caused the issues...not that they aren't fixable but it *might* come at a cost if the family chooses to pull because of it.

But honestly ask yourself, is allowing this mom to run amok on you, your business and your stress levels worth the income she brought to you?

I am betting the answer is no.

One of THE absolute BEST pieces of advice I got when I first opened my child care was "NO amount of money is worth keeping clients who treat you like dirt"

It has become my motto to live by and I can say that oddly enough, the very minute I took charge of my business and became the "BOSS" in every sense, people started respecting me more and wanting to be here.

You can do this!!!
Reply
4bratzmum 01:22 PM 03-06-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


You are right about your leniency. THAT really is what caused the issues...not that they aren't fixable but it *might* come at a cost if the family chooses to pull because of it.

But honestly ask yourself, is allowing this mom to run amok on you, your business and your stress levels worth the income she brought to you?

I am betting the answer is no.

One of THE absolute BEST pieces of advice I got when I first opened my child care was "NO amount of money is worth keeping clients who treat you like dirt"

It has become my motto to live by and I can say that oddly enough, the very minute I took charge of my business and became the "BOSS" in every sense, people started respecting me more and wanting to be here.

You can do this!!!
Awww... Thank you very much for the encouragement!
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