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SilverSabre25 09:25 AM 05-11-2011
Let's just say that this is a hypothetical situation

So you have a three year old boy who has been taking off and putting on his own shoes and socks for approximately 5-6 months. You have seen him do it MANY, no, countless times...the most recent being yesterday afternoon. All of a sudden, while getting ready to go outside, he decides to sit and whine that he "can't" put his socks and shoes on. Assuming that having the socks and shoes on outside is not optional...WWYD?

a) carry him outside with the socks and shoes and make him sit in a chair beside you until he does it himself
b) do it for him
c) make everyone else wait inside with him until he does it himself
d) Other?
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Michelle 09:28 AM 05-11-2011
make him do it him self, but ask why he is having trouble and
tell him' I am so proud of you for being such a big boy and putting on your shoes" (when he does do it)
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DaycareMama 09:28 AM 05-11-2011
IMO I would carry him out and make him sit till he did it, then praise him
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daycare 09:34 AM 05-11-2011
Is it possible for you to have him sit in the doorway and allow all the other kids right outside the door to play until he gets his shoes on. This is what I do.

if that is a no,
I would have another kid help him. Dont give into doing it for him.

I think that carring him outside and making him sit would be my 3rd choice

I had a child do this, but becuase my setup allows me to see them if they are inside or outside, I make the child sit inside without any toys until they do it.
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Blackcat31 09:38 AM 05-11-2011
I would do option A. I carry many children with "self-help amnesia" out wiht me and have them sit in an area until they are ready to play. Ready to play means socks and shoes put on by themselves for that age.
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sharlan 09:42 AM 05-11-2011
Me, I would just put his socks and shoes on and assume that he's having an off day and needs a bit of extra attention.
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melskids 09:43 AM 05-11-2011
i would do A.

i wouldnt put them on , and its not fair for others to lose their play time waiting for him.

i wouldnt be mean or anything about it at all....just "bobby, you can sit here on the bench and put on your shoes, then you may go play" and then i'd just kinda ignore him, as to not get into a power struggle with him. unless of course, he kept getting up without his shoes on.....

i might try reverse phsycology on him though, or try and make a game out of it first. sometimes that works, depending on the kid.
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Live and Learn 09:57 AM 05-11-2011
Originally Posted by melskids:
i would do A.

i wouldnt put them on , and its not fair for others to lose their play time waiting for him.

i wouldnt be mean or anything about it at all....just "bobby, you can sit here on the bench and put on your shoes, then you may go play" and then i'd just kinda ignore him, as to not get into a power struggle with him. unless of course, he kept getting up without his shoes on......
I would do option A also.
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Symphony 10:00 AM 05-11-2011
I have a three year old who the last two weeks can't seem to take his shoes OFF. His velcro shoes, haha. Everyday when we come inside I say "shoes and coats!" everyone takes them off (even the 1yr olds) and we go to wash hands for lunch/snack. I've just been leaving him in the entryway while he figures it out. He's not upset or anything, he just kind of stares at his feet for 10 minutes and then slips them off. Then I get super excited to see him join us. I don't think it's a power struggle, I think sometimes the brain just has little glitches when they are learning so many new things everyday!
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momofsix 10:04 AM 05-11-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Me, I would just put his socks and shoes on and assume that he's having an off day and needs a bit of extra attention.
I'd do this too for just a "one day" problem. It would become a different matter if it started happening every day.
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MissAnn 10:07 AM 05-11-2011
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Let's just say that this is a hypothetical situation

So you have a three year old boy who has been taking off and putting on his own shoes and socks for approximately 5-6 months. You have seen him do it MANY, no, countless times...the most recent being yesterday afternoon. All of a sudden, while getting ready to go outside, he decides to sit and whine that he "can't" put his socks and shoes on. Assuming that having the socks and shoes on outside is not optional...WWYD?

a) carry him outside with the socks and shoes and make him sit in a chair beside you until he does it himself
b) do it for him
c) make everyone else wait inside with him until he does it himself
d) Other?
I would do it for him......LOL....NOT! It might work for him at home to cry and whine.....but if you let that work for him in your program....well, you know how that would end up! I have a deck right outside...so if a kid is behind for whatever reason....they can put their shoes on while still on the deck. Just a part of life....we all have to put our own shoes on.
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WImom 10:11 AM 05-11-2011
Originally Posted by melskids:
i would do A.

i wouldnt put them on , and its not fair for others to lose their play time waiting for him.

i wouldnt be mean or anything about it at all....just "bobby, you can sit here on the bench and put on your shoes, then you may go play" and then i'd just kinda ignore him, as to not get into a power struggle with him. unless of course, he kept getting up without his shoes on.....

i might try reverse phsycology on him though, or try and make a game out of it first. sometimes that works, depending on the kid.
I'd do the same and I actually have done it and they magically know how again.
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countrymom 10:21 AM 05-11-2011
did he come in tie shoes, yup I have kids who come with tie shoes and they don't even know how to tie. So I go and buy crocs for them. I really don't like to deal with tie shoes, funny thing is, is that when they get picked up the parents wait for me to do their shoes but I just pretend I'm busy in the kitchen so they are forced to put their own kids shoes on.

I can leave the kids in my entry way till they are ready to come out because my outside chair is by the door so I can see them all.
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MissAnn 10:31 AM 05-11-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
did he come in tie shoes, yup I have kids who come with tie shoes and they don't even know how to tie. So I go and buy crocs for them. I really don't like to deal with tie shoes, funny thing is, is that when they get picked up the parents wait for me to do their shoes but I just pretend I'm busy in the kitchen so they are forced to put their own kids shoes on.

I can leave the kids in my entry way till they are ready to come out because my outside chair is by the door so I can see them all.
I actually prefer tie shoes. I tell my parents that if they want their kids (4 year olds) to learn to tie shoes....they need to wear tie shoes and they will get plently of practice. I wish I had a better shoe-tie poem....but in the mean time I have this one....

Maka a Tee-Pee
Climb inside
Pull it tight...
so we can hide
Over the mountain and around we go
here's my arrow....here's my bow!
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Meyou 11:11 AM 05-11-2011
Option A.

I put them on the bottom step just inside the screen door so they can SEE the playing but can't come play until they dress themselves.
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Blackcat31 12:07 PM 05-11-2011
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
I actually prefer tie shoes. I tell my parents that if they want their kids (4 year olds) to learn to tie shoes....they need to wear tie shoes and they will get plently of practice. I wish I had a better shoe-tie poem....but in the mean time I have this one....

Maka a Tee-Pee
Climb inside
Pull it tight...
so we can hide
Over the mountain and around we go
here's my arrow....here's my bow!
YES YES YES!!!! For me, it is a safety thing as well.
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jojosmommy 07:52 PM 05-11-2011
I would make him do it himself. My setup allows me to do so. If he was being particularly difficult I would carry him out and have him do it out there. This of course would be if he didnt have new shoes or some other real reason to not do it.

I have one 3 yr old girl who will not put her shoes on until she is certain we are going without her. Doesnt matter what I try, she will not, will not, will not do it unless she sees other kids outside enjoying themselves. At pick up mom dresses her completely, most times while she is mid-tantrum.
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SilverSabre25 10:03 AM 05-12-2011
Thank you for all the input! I'm glad to see that what I did was the most common response.

I had used option A, and it took him about 15 minutes to finally put the darn socks and shoes on and go play. Nothing was new--same old socks, same old shoes (that are just slip on--not even tie or velcro or anything). This wasn't a one-time thing, either. It's been a growing trend with him. DCM has been mentioning that he's doing it at home, too (playing the "But I CAN'T!!!" card for things we know he CAN).
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Tags:safety, shoes
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