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Cccdcia 06:32 PM 01-29-2014
So just found out my aunt passed away not for sure when arrangements will be,and not sure when to tell dcp do I wait till I know more? Then I already know how a couple of them will act:/
Annalee 06:44 PM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by Cccdcia:
So just found out my aunt passed away not for sure when arrangements will be,and not sure when to tell dcp do I wait till I know more? Then I already know how a couple of them will act:/
My dad passed away in 2002. At that time I was charging 52 weeks a yr, but had not specifically written "funerals" in my contract with emergency days. I had a dcp call my parents and try to get them not to pay and had a couple join her. Amidst my traumatic life full of grief, my backbone said "you ALL pay or else"....They all paid, but the relationship was never the same and they left shortly thereafter. I now have funerals listed in with my emergency days, but regardless my 52 weeks charging should suffice. So just found out my aunt passed away not for sure when arrangements will be,and not sure when to tell dcp do I wait till I know more? Then I already know how a couple of them will act:/
Funny thing, I saw that parent later on and she apologized because her brother had recently passed away and she said she knew now how I felt......What goes around comes around! You take care of you and your family....... Do not let parents make you feel bad!
mountainside13 06:58 PM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by Cccdcia:
So just found out my aunt passed away not for sure when arrangements will be,and not sure when to tell dcp do I wait till I know more? Then I already know how a couple of them will act:/
I am so sorry for your loss!!! If it's ok, my prayers are with you and your family!! If you have a good relationship with your parents I would give them a heads up and tell them that when you know the date you will let them know. If it's not a good relationship I would wait until you know the date before you say anything. So just found out my aunt passed away not for sure when arrangements will be,and not sure when to tell dcp do I wait till I know more? Then I already know how a couple of them will act:/
Originally Posted by dapb45:
My dad passed away in 2002. At that time I was charging 52 weeks a yr, but had not specifically written "funerals" in my contract with emergency days. I had a dcp call my parents and try to get them not to pay and had a couple join her. Amidst my traumatic life full of grief, my backbone said "you ALL pay or else"....They all paid, but the relationship was never the same and they left shortly thereafter. I now have funerals listed in with my funeral days, but regardless my 52 weeks charging should suffice.
Funny thing, I saw that parent later on and she apologized because her brother had recently passed away and she said she knew now how I felt......What goes around comes around! You take care of you and your family....... Do not let parents make you feel bad!
I am livid for you that a parent did that to you!!! If that happened to me I would still be angry and hold a grudge 12 years later. I'm sorry you lost your dad!!My dad passed away in 2002. At that time I was charging 52 weeks a yr, but had not specifically written "funerals" in my contract with emergency days. I had a dcp call my parents and try to get them not to pay and had a couple join her. Amidst my traumatic life full of grief, my backbone said "you ALL pay or else"....They all paid, but the relationship was never the same and they left shortly thereafter. I now have funerals listed in with my funeral days, but regardless my 52 weeks charging should suffice.
Funny thing, I saw that parent later on and she apologized because her brother had recently passed away and she said she knew now how I felt......What goes around comes around! You take care of you and your family....... Do not let parents make you feel bad!
Rachel 07:56 AM 01-30-2014
Your father passed away and families tried to get out of paying you? Beyond disgusting! I would have termed right then and there. How horrible.
Annalee 11:45 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by mountainside13:
I am livid for you that a parent did that to you!!! If that happened to me I would still be angry and hold a grudge 12 years later. I'm sorry you lost your dad!!
Needless to say, I have grown up a whole lot since that time... My brother had a heart attack needing stints this past summer. I was there for him as well and did not blink about it. Got paid and my face almost dared someone to buck me! FAMILY COMES FIRST! I am livid for you that a parent did that to you!!! If that happened to me I would still be angry and hold a grudge 12 years later. I'm sorry you lost your dad!!
jenn 12:45 PM 01-30-2014
I'm sorry for your loss!
I would let the families know as soon as possible. "Due to a death in my family, I will be closing one day next week to attend the funeral. I will let you know as soon as I find out more info." That way, they can start thinking about plans for the day(s) you need.
If they are upset about you closing or upset about paying, they will get over it. Don't let them get to you. They should have backup care in place, and if they don't then that's poor planning on their part.
I would let the families know as soon as possible. "Due to a death in my family, I will be closing one day next week to attend the funeral. I will let you know as soon as I find out more info." That way, they can start thinking about plans for the day(s) you need.
If they are upset about you closing or upset about paying, they will get over it. Don't let them get to you. They should have backup care in place, and if they don't then that's poor planning on their part.
kimsdaycare 05:26 AM 01-31-2014
I am so sorry for your loss. I had three funerals for close friends and family this week. I missed one (dh went without me) but took today off to go to two others. I approached everyone as soon as I knew and asked if they could help me out so I could attend. My families were all very good about it and most will likely pay me although I won't force it. Of course there always seems like there is that one family who is put out whether you ask, tell, give lots of notice or no notice. These types of families just don't do alternate care well, no matter how you approach it. In those cases, you just close and apologize for the inconvenience. It is all you can or need to do. Family first.
If asked in these situations if payment is due, I usually just tell them that many of my families will to be kind and I appreciate it, but I know that others won't feel they should have to, so I let them decide. Usually they end up worried they will be the only ones to be difficult so they just pay their usual amount. Sometimes I think it feels less burdensome to parents if they feel it is an option, not a requirement kwim?
I don't have a clause about these situations, and they come up infrequently so I treat them like sicknesses for the most part, knowing from the get go that I may or not get paid. I can usually count on at least partial payment and always try to repay the kind gesture to those families should they ever have an unusual request in the future. It's very much a what comes around goes around system, and we all seem to be on the same page of thinking with that right now and I am grateful for that.
If asked in these situations if payment is due, I usually just tell them that many of my families will to be kind and I appreciate it, but I know that others won't feel they should have to, so I let them decide. Usually they end up worried they will be the only ones to be difficult so they just pay their usual amount. Sometimes I think it feels less burdensome to parents if they feel it is an option, not a requirement kwim?
I don't have a clause about these situations, and they come up infrequently so I treat them like sicknesses for the most part, knowing from the get go that I may or not get paid. I can usually count on at least partial payment and always try to repay the kind gesture to those families should they ever have an unusual request in the future. It's very much a what comes around goes around system, and we all seem to be on the same page of thinking with that right now and I am grateful for that.
Blackcat31 09:14 AM 01-30-2014
Originally Posted by dapb45:
What goes around comes around! You take care of you and your family....... Do not let parents make you feel bad!
This is really true. And great advice. What goes around comes around! You take care of you and your family....... Do not let parents make you feel bad!
rosieteddy 11:41 AM 01-30-2014
After a tough couple of years I added 3 days bearevement for immediate family. All others I use extra personal days.It is hard though ,my good friends mother passed this week.I did not feel I could take the day.I did go to the wake last night. I am sorry for your loss.I would give the parents a heads up today.Let them know you will at least need the funeral day off . Nan