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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Parents Running Errands While Child Is In Daycare Vent
Unregistered 11:15 AM 12-08-2010
First of all, I understand Christmas is coming up but really?!? I have a family that has a 7 month old and he screams all the time and they are not doing anything to help out with that because they constantly hold him. At least once a week I receive a text from the mom that she has to get her oil changed, hair cut, run an errand, or take a nap. At first I was like no problem because this is her first child and I am sure she is tired but daycare is not for errands! It simply is for work and especially when he screams all day it really makes me a little upset when she comes in looking completely refreshed and I don't have the nerve to say anything to her....I already had to talk to the family about a payment issue and she was fine with it only to get yelled at in the morning by her husband....anyways, am I wrong for feeling like I am getting taken advantage of by her running errands instead of picking up her child after work? I have been thinking about writing a note for all the families but don't know what to say - this is my first year and I am feeling like I bend to every family instead of putting my foot down! Ugh, don't know if this family is really worth it!
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momofboys 12:21 PM 12-08-2010
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
First of all, I understand Christmas is coming up but really?!? I have a family that has a 7 month old and he screams all the time and they are not doing anything to help out with that because they constantly hold him. At least once a week I receive a text from the mom that she has to get her oil changed, hair cut, run an errand, or take a nap. At first I was like no problem because this is her first child and I am sure she is tired but daycare is not for errands! It simply is for work and especially when he screams all day it really makes me a little upset when she comes in looking completely refreshed and I don't have the nerve to say anything to her....I already had to talk to the family about a payment issue and she was fine with it only to get yelled at in the morning by her husband....anyways, am I wrong for feeling like I am getting taken advantage of by her running errands instead of picking up her child after work? I have been thinking about writing a note for all the families but don't know what to say - this is my first year and I am feeling like I bend to every family instead of putting my foot down! Ugh, don't know if this family is really worth it!
Have you thought about changing your hours to contracted only? So if mom works 8-4, dad works 7:30-4:00 your hours would be 7:00 am - 4:30 pm. Anything beyond those hours or before them would be considered overtime. If parents had to pay extra they may re-consider leaving a child longer. Or when mom makes the request say you'd be happy to watch little screamer but you will charge $10 per hour or any part of an hour beyond her normal pick-up time. Hope this helps.
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jen 12:29 PM 12-08-2010
Is she on time for pick up? If she's late, then you have an issue. If she is within her scheduled time, probably not.

I totally understand where you are coming from, but depending on how your contract is worded, there isn't much you can do. Truthfully, I have had people who only work 1 or 2 days a week, bring thier children 5 days a week while they sat at home. If they are paying for it, they get to do what they want.

If the problem is the sceaming is getting to you, that is the issue you need to address. You may need to have a sit down with parents and suggest that they reduce the child's time in daycare because it is causing too much stress for the baby. Remember to focus on the needs of the child as opposed to yours.

As for the payment issue and having the parent yell at you....that is grounds for immediate termination. If you allow a parent to yell at you, you will loose whatever battles occur in the future. If it should happen again let him/her know in no uncertain terms that they will be respectful of you and your policies or they will need to find immediate alternative care. Then follow through.

Good luck! I'm sorry that you have a sucky client.
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Lianne 12:38 PM 12-08-2010
Depending on my mood, it irritates me when parents run errands, etc. while their child is in care but, in my opinion, if they're paying me for the day then the day is theirs to do with as they wish. Just don't go on about your relaxing massage and lunch out with the girls while I stand there in my grubbies, peas in my hair, cheerios stuck to my butt and goodness knows what on my shirt...
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Blackcat31 12:59 PM 12-08-2010
Originally Posted by lianne:
depending on my mood, it irritates me when parents run errands, etc. While their child is in care but, in my opinion, if they're paying me for the day then the day is theirs to do with as they wish. Just don't go on about your relaxing massage and lunch out with the girls while i stand there in my grubbies, peas in my hair, cheerios stuck to my butt and goodness knows what on my shirt...
exactly!!!
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Live and Learn 01:31 PM 12-08-2010
Jen is completely correct in my opinion.....
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Unregistered 02:47 PM 12-08-2010
One of my daycare parents just told me that she will be bringing her child week prior to Christmas, she also told me that she is off work and plans to get her shopping done during that time. Do I care, a little the time with my own kids would be nice, but will I do anything about it or say anything, nope! As long as they are paying me, on time and I have no other issues, so far as I'm concerned they can do what they want! If I really wanted the time I could have taken it off.

It does sound like you have other issues that need to be discussed. It sounds like it's the child, not the time she is taking to run around that bothers you most. If it were a different child , didn't cry and was wonderful, would you feel the same?
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SunflowerMama 03:35 PM 12-08-2010
That used to bother me at first but now I just let it go. They are paying for up to 10hrs a day so honestly I don't really care what they are doing while they are gone. Whether it be working, shopping, working out, etc. As long as they are picking up on time and paying on time I'm ok with it.

For example I know one of my dcds has this whole week off but they are here 7a on the nose and mom is picking up right at 5p. Don't sweat the small stuff....
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Luna 03:53 PM 12-08-2010
Originally Posted by SunflowerMama:
That used to bother me at first but now I just let it go. They are paying for up to 10hrs a day so honestly I don't really care what they are doing while they are gone. Whether it be working, shopping, working out, etc. As long as they are picking up on time and paying on time I'm ok with it.

For example I know one of my dcds has this whole week off but they are here 7a on the nose and mom is picking up right at 5p. Don't sweat the small stuff....
I agree. Actually, I don't even want to know what parents are doing with their time, I don't feel like it's any of my business. I'm being paid from 7:30 - 4:30, and I feel those hours are theirs to use in whatever way they like. I didn't always feel like that, but it's much less irritating to look at it this way.
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katie 04:02 PM 12-08-2010
Yes, you have a right to be aggravated. Same here. Mom comes in an HOUR late last night, car frull of groceries. She hold the 7 month old all day at home so he screams and by the 10th hour just like you I'm done! She is off Friday but dropping him anyway b/c she needs to get things done. HA! I do everything with 4 to 7 kids here! Amazing what we can get done when we are used to it. I feel you vent!
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legomom922 04:31 PM 12-08-2010
Originally Posted by Luna:
Actually, I don't even want to know what parents are doing with their time, I don't feel like it's any of my business. I'm being paid from 7:30 - 4:30, and I feel those hours are theirs to use in whatever way they like.
Totaly agree! I'm being paid to watch their kid while they are working, running errends, or sleeping..Who am I to say what they can and cannot do during the time they are paying me.
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nikia 04:36 PM 12-08-2010
It irritates me for the kids sake. I feel bad that the parents choose to not spend those extra hours with their children or days if they have off and drop off anyway. I have parents like this, so for me I look it as if they dont want to spend time with their children then I gladly will

Okay maybe not everyday is gladly
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SandeeAR 06:03 PM 12-08-2010
Originally Posted by legomom922:
Totaly agree! I'm being paid to watch their kid while they are working, running errends, or sleeping..Who am I to say what they can and cannot do during the time they are paying me.
I agree. I'm open 7:30-5:30, What they do is up to them. They pay me for the time, period.
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DanceMom 04:25 AM 12-09-2010
Yeah..they pay you for your time...But be a parent..spend time with your kids - they grow up WAY to fast !

Money is NEVER more important than spending time with my kids.
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countrymom 06:40 AM 12-09-2010
I have a problem with it because I have one parent who does everything on the days off but when I ask for a day off she squacks so much its rediculous. But I charge for the time you are here, I don't charge for the spot, I did this on purpose to eliminate nonsense like that but what I also get is parents who like to lie to be where they are.
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momma2girls 07:12 AM 12-09-2010
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I have a problem with it because I have one parent who does everything on the days off but when I ask for a day off she squacks so much its rediculous. But I charge for the time you are here, I don't charge for the spot, I did this on purpose to eliminate nonsense like that but what I also get is parents who like to lie to be where they are.
I agree, my hours are contracted work and commute times only!
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Blackcat31 07:16 AM 12-09-2010
I also couldn't care less what they do while they pay me to watch their kid. Heck, I had one last year who paid me to watch her kid and she was at home babysitting her neighbors kids !?!?! Whatever, I am being paid so I don't care what they do on their dime....I only get angry with the ones who get their childcare subsidized or completely paid for and bring their kids while they go home....those are the only ones who irritate me..
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sierrastreasures 07:24 AM 12-09-2010
Originally Posted by jen:
Is she on time for pick up? If she's late, then you have an issue. If she is within her scheduled time, probably not.
My hours are contracted hours which allow 8.5 for working and 1 hour to travel. That's a total of 9.5 hours of childcare for my pay. Anything over is considered overtime which is $5.00 every 15 minutes if not prearranged first with a phone call or text OR $10.00 an hour if prearranged.
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AnythingsPossible 08:09 AM 12-09-2010
My rates are half day or full day, so what they do in those hours are their choice, I think I get more jealous then anything. I would love to get off work at 3 and have a few hours to get somethings done! They pay for their day, so while I wish I could run errands too, if they do, it's their dime. I have one family that I am pretty sure leaves their little boy here till closing everynight just because he is a major handful! Pretty sure adhd will be in his future school file! I've been wondering if it would be inappropriate to pay another daycare to watch him part of the day so I can get a break...kidding of course, but it would sure be nice somedays. Nothing like a 3.5 year old whose speach isn't developed that runs around like a bunny on caffiene all day. Anyone have an opening???
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countrymom 09:59 AM 12-09-2010
I also now ask parents for their work schedual times, this way I know if they are lying. Another problem with parents who are suppose to be at work, is, that when i need to get a hold of them, then I would call work first, only to find out that they were not at work and then I start hunting them down, it irks me.
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VTMom 10:02 AM 12-09-2010
Originally Posted by WyoDaycareMom:
My rates are half day or full day, so what they do in those hours are their choice, I think I get more jealous then anything. I would love to get off work at 3 and have a few hours to get somethings done! They pay for their day, so while I wish I could run errands too, if they do, it's their dime. I have one family that I am pretty sure leaves their little boy here till closing everynight just because he is a major handful! Pretty sure adhd will be in his future school file! I've been wondering if it would be inappropriate to pay another daycare to watch him part of the day so I can get a break...kidding of course, but it would sure be nice somedays. Nothing like a 3.5 year old whose speach isn't developed that runs around like a bunny on caffiene all day. Anyone have an opening???
I have one of those too and I'm pretty sure they bring him here for the same reason sometimes! They've only taken 1 week vacation off with their kids despite having 5 weeks off and all holidays. When the parents have taken their vacation time off, they don't even pick up early - not even once! The only time they take extra time off with their kids is when I'm closed. So sad. I'm working on getting my attitude adjusted to see this as "I'm paid so what do I care". It's hard sometimes.
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E Daycare 10:51 AM 12-09-2010
Originally Posted by VTMom:
I'm working on getting my attitude adjusted to see this as "I'm paid so what do I care". It's hard sometimes.
Same here!! Its hard though when (even though you chose this profession) you get kinda resentful.
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Greenshadow 05:24 PM 12-09-2010
Years ago, this used to irk me to no end. Not anymore. I even have one daycare mom who pays a full-time rate even though her son comes part-time just so she can get errands done without him sometimes. She doesnt always go shopping or whatever but she always pays the full-time rate for it. Works for me. I dont care what they do, and I dont think I should, as long as they pay me for the time I am caring for their child.
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MMk9987 07:59 PM 12-09-2010
here Is how I look at it yes it is wrong for them to send their children or child to care if they are not working but if they pay the rate to send them it is their day to do with it the way they want.
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legomom922 04:04 AM 12-10-2010
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I also now ask parents for their work schedual times, this way I know if they are lying. Another problem with parents who are suppose to be at work, is, that when i need to get a hold of them, then I would call work first, only to find out that they were not at work and then I start hunting them down, it irks me.
Why not just the cell first? Youre bound to get them the 1st time that way. I never call a parents work. I prefer all communication to be through the cell weather its talking or texting, and I prefer texting anyway.
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legomom922 04:12 AM 12-10-2010
Another thought...I believe we all know what it feels like to do errends with little ones tagging along. It's hard..it takes more time, etc. I remember when my DS was a baby, and there were some days I just needed to get things done, so off to Grandmas he would go. I still do errends with my DC kids, and it's not easy, but some days I just have to get stuff done too. Yesterday, U had like 5 stops to make with a 5 month old in tow. But I had no choice..So I can completely understand why a parent wants to do do something without carting a kid around, an dthey are paying someone to be able to do it. I just dont see what the big deal is. It's their kids, and its their time and its their money they are paying, so as far as I can see, it's just none of my business. I can't nor do I have the right to tell other parents what to do or how to raise their kids. besides, I would be out of pay, if I told dcp I will only watch them when they are at "work". A center is not going to ask them what they are doing, so why would I?
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laundrymom 04:49 AM 12-10-2010
I don't ask either. Unless they are late or something. Now I do have my sa boy who I got a text from mom last week she asked how early I started. I asked how early she needed. He is normally he's at 8 so was thinking she would say 730. Well she said 530. She's a single mom who sometimes has to work at an out of town office so I said sure. When she dropped off boy told me mom signed up for spinning class at 6am. That is the last time I will be doing that. I'm not working over for her to go to an exercise class!!!
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DCMom 04:58 AM 12-10-2010
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I also couldn't care less what they do while they pay me to watch their kid. Heck, I had one last year who paid me to watch her kid and she was at home babysitting her neighbors kids !?!?! Whatever, I am being paid so I don't care what they do on their dime....I only get angry with the ones who get their childcare subsidized or completely paid for and bring their kids while they go home....those are the only ones who irritate me..
This pretty much sums up my feelings also. As long as they pick up on time, pay on time and don't have an attitude when I take time off, then do what you want. I could care less.

If they are dropping kids off and going home while having childcare subsidized...well, that is a whole separate topic. That would irritate me and I would probably say something.
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legomom922 05:06 AM 12-10-2010
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Well she said 530. She's a single mom who sometimes has to work at an out of town office so I said sure. When she dropped off boy told me mom signed up for spinning class at 6am. That is the last time I will be doing that. I'm not working over for her to go to an exercise class!!!
For me, it would depend. I charge a early drop fee of $10 per hr, that is not prorated, so if they drop off 15 min early, it's $10..if it's an hr, it's $10. So if they needed me at 530am, and if I needed the money, I would do it no matter what they were doing, because that would be an extra $30 for me if he normally came at 8am. They can go to class every morning to pay me that kind of money!
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laundrymom 05:36 AM 12-10-2010
My fee is 5 dollars on her contract. He's been here 10 years
Originally Posted by legomom922:
For me, it would depend. I charge a early drop fee of $10 per hr, that is not prorated, so if they drop off 15 min early, it's $10..if it's an hr, it's $10. So if they needed me at 530am, and if I needed the money, I would do it no matter what they were doing, because that would be an extra $30 for me if he normally came at 8am. They can go to class every morning to pay me that kind of money!

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legomom922 06:41 AM 12-10-2010
$5 is too cheap. Time to raise your OT fee! Or just do this as a courtesy for a long time client....

I don't get up early unless I make it worth my while..
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Unregistered 08:11 PM 10-07-2013
the whole point of daycare is care for other people's children for a fee. whether they work, go to school/study, shop or have a torrid affair is totally besides the point and none of our business. it's what keeps us employed. the same goes for preschool, pet sitting, house sitting, etc. it's simply what we do for a fee that others choose not to do--why they choose that way is irrelevant. we are offering a service and if someone takes us up on it for the price we charge, who are we to then question their motive? as long as their checks don't bounce or they are late--it is all moot.
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MyAngels 08:39 PM 10-07-2013
This thread is from 2010. I'm pretty sure the OP has resolved his or her issue by now.
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Memc2001 06:58 AM 10-08-2013
Unless they are violating a contract you have no say over what they do. Does it tick me off? YES ABSOLUTELY. Is their anything I can do? NO. I provide a service, they pay me for it.
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Familycare71 07:25 AM 10-08-2013
Originally Posted by SunflowerMama:
That used to bother me at first but now I just let it go. They are paying for up to 10hrs a day so honestly I don't really care what they are doing while they are gone. Whether it be working, shopping, working out, etc. As long as they are picking up on time and paying on time I'm ok with it.

For example I know one of my dcds has this whole week off but they are here 7a on the nose and mom is picking up right at 5p. Don't sweat the small stuff....
I used to get very annoyed by this- but... I can't control it so I let it go. I have a dcb who is here 5 days a week and some weeks his mom works two of those days. I get paid so IMO it isn't my business what they are doing.
Yes ideally parents would WANT to spend time with their child- but in our field I feel like those parents (in my experience anyway) are far and few between! So I chose to let it go- it was only effecting me
What I get REALLY frustrated with is when a parent whines: oh I wish I could stay home, oh it kills me to leave xxx but then on the days off- their kid is here! Still working on that one!
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Cradle2crayons 07:32 AM 10-08-2013
Originally Posted by Memc2001:
Unless they are violating a contract you have no say over what they do. Does it tick me off? YES ABSOLUTELY. Is their anything I can do? NO. I provide a service, they pay me for it.
That's why I do contracted care only and it's in my contract that I only provide care while the parent works. This is because they work different shifts on different days every week.

They are allowed to drop off one hour before work and they have one hour to pick up after work.
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Soccermom 10:46 AM 10-08-2013
This annoys me too...more for the children than for myself though. Your little one wants to be with YOU. No matter how great their DP is, they want to be with their parents! It makes me angry when people drop their kids off to go do groceries or shop...I do that with all 3 of mine in tow, on the weekends! No wonder kids don't know how to behave in public anymore.
The thing that really makes me angry is when I have a DCP pick up right at closing after having been here since 7am and they will say - Okay ______ hurry please, I have dinner in the oven and I don't want it to burn. Are you serious??!! You stopped home and made dinner before picking up your child who as been anxiously watching out the window waiting for you since the first DP picked up their child!!Why bother having children? I love my kids and can't wait to see them even if I have been away for a few hours.
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Cradle2crayons 01:13 PM 10-08-2013
Originally Posted by Soccermom:
This annoys me too...more for the children than for myself though. Your little one wants to be with YOU. No matter how great their DP is, they want to be with their parents! It makes me angry when people drop their kids off to go do groceries or shop...I do that with all 3 of mine in tow, on the weekends! No wonder kids don't know how to behave in public anymore.
The thing that really makes me angry is when I have a DCP pick up right at closing after having been here since 7am and they will say - Okay ______ hurry please, I have dinner in the oven and I don't want it to burn. Are you serious??!! You stopped home and made dinner before picking up your child who as been anxiously watching out the window waiting for you since the first DP picked up their child!!Why bother having children? I love my kids and can't wait to see them even if I have been away for a few hours.
agreed.

I can take 7 kids to the grocery store, and do often. But I've heard it all before.... They have to stop and get x y z...

My not so responsible daycare mom asked me one day to watch the kids for two hours for her to go turn in her sons school registration papers. She said the two girls would act up. I'm like all you have to do is walk in with the papers, hand them in, sign the file and walk out lol.. I said okay only because my two wanted to play with her son. I knew it would only take her five minutes and I was going to e same place. Imagine her surprise when I showed up to turn in both of my kids forms at the office with seven kids all so perfectly behaved and she couldn't do it with hers.
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Soccermom 09:29 AM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
agreed.

I can take 7 kids to the grocery store, and do often. But I've heard it all before.... They have to stop and get x y z...

My not so responsible daycare mom asked me one day to watch the kids for two hours for her to go turn in her sons school registration papers. She said the two girls would act up. I'm like all you have to do is walk in with the papers, hand them in, sign the file and walk out lol.. I said okay only because my two wanted to play with her son. I knew it would only take her five minutes and I was going to e same place. Imagine her surprise when I showed up to turn in both of my kids forms at the office with seven kids all so perfectly behaved and she couldn't do it with hers.
I love it!!
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My3cents 11:11 AM 10-11-2013
I am going to put it on the other side......

Thank you for not bringing that whining child to the store so that I can shop in peace after working with kids all week. I am so grateful to the parent that knows the child will be a terror in a store and keeps them home until they can better control themselves. or the parent that removes the child from a store when they act up beyond belief. Thank you to that parent.

Yes it stinks for us providers, but what a help it is to that parent to not have to tire out anymore then the parent already is and then be able to put that energy into quality time with the kids, or have a decent supper on the table at a normal hour for that child.

ok..... to the first one seriously yes, but to the last one I can blow it out my own ears......lol

I teeter on this one, more towards the provider but I do have a bit of understanding for the parents too.

Just giving a different view point. I think it depends on the client. Some clients abuse our kindness and others don't. They truly value the good care we give.

I suggest contracted hours is this a big issue for some- Then pick and choose when or if at all you want to be lenient with a client on this issue.

Thank you it is Friday- I wish all a wonderful weekend
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Blackcat31 11:47 AM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by My3cents:
I am going to put it on the other side......

Thank you for not bringing that whining child to the store so that I can shop in peace after working with kids all week. I am so grateful to the parent that knows the child will be a terror in a store and keeps them home until they can better control themselves. or the parent that removes the child from a store when they act up beyond belief. Thank you to that parent.

Yes it stinks for us providers, but what a help it is to that parent to not have to tire out anymore then the parent already is and then be able to put that energy into quality time with the kids, or have a decent supper on the table at a normal hour for that child.

ok..... to the first one seriously yes, but to the last one I can blow it out my own ears......lol

I teeter on this one, more towards the provider but I do have a bit of understanding for the parents too.

Just giving a different view point. I think it depends on the client. Some clients abuse our kindness and others don't. They truly value the good care we give.

I suggest contracted hours is this a big issue for some- Then pick and choose when or if at all you want to be lenient with a client on this issue.

Thank you it is Friday- I wish all a wonderful weekend
I agree. I may be completely capable of managing several children in a store like previous posters mentioned but they aren't MY children so they naturally tend to be better behaved for me than they would be for their parent.

I was able to manage MY own children in public but I consider myself to be a different kind of parent than my daycare parents are....which is why I am the provider and they are the ones dropping their child off at daycare while they do others things.

Not everyone has to parent in the same manner and if a parent felt they were able to run errands without their child tagging along...more power to them.

That is their choice. They live with it. Not me.
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Tags:2010, bad parent, paid days, vent
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