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  #1  
Old 11-22-2013, 12:53 AM
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NoellesMama NoellesMama is offline
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Exclamation Violent 2.5 Year Old!?

Hello everyone,
I need some help with a violent child in my 2-3y/o preschool class.
DCB is 2.5 years old,big for his age (he is as big as a kindergartner), defiant, and very aggressive with his peers. He is always hitting, pushing (with his body) or jumping on other children. I have seen him squeeze another child's eyes or just head butt a child for no reason! Usually, if ANY child harms another I send them to timeout, explain why the behavior is wrong & have them apologize. This usually works, but not with this child. He will kick, spit, remove his clothes/shoes and throw them, and will refuse to sit in the chair. Placing a 50lb "limp noodle" in timeout constantly is exhausting. I have addressed his behavior with his mother but shes of no help because shes in denial. I have also addressed his behavior with my director, but shes dismissive and tells me that mom feels Im picking on him. Mom has walked in on him in the act of hitting another child in the face with a block!
but of course her precious snowflake does no wrong.

Other than termination (which I honestly think needs to happen) what do you ladies suggest? Other parents are starting to show concern about his behavior.

Thank you in advance!
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  #2  
Old 11-22-2013, 05:36 AM
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Bring him in to the Director and let her handle him.
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Old 11-22-2013, 05:40 AM
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Great Beginnings Great Beginnings is offline
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I used to work in a daycare center and I had this same exact child. Would knock a kid down, step on him and them smack them in the head with a block! Or some severe type of aggressive behavior. I also went to the director who ignored me. I was 5 months pregnant at the time and this kid decided to punch me right in the stomach because I told him it was time to pick up. I went home that day and called CPS on the daycare director for refusing to keep the staff and other children safe. She had no choice but to term at this point.

Can't blame the other parents for being upset. Personally I would pull my child as a parent.
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Old 11-22-2013, 06:07 AM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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The director is keeping him for money and won't let him go until he hits/kicks/punches money.

There's nothing you can do. Document every discussion with her and document the aggression. When he hits the Centers money they will term.
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Old 11-22-2013, 06:51 AM
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so you have 2 choices, either dump at the directors door and let her handle it, or call cps to come and deal with it too. That much violence in a child is not normal.
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Old 11-22-2013, 07:00 AM
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If other parents are concerned maybe suggest that they tell the center they will be pulling their children to keep them safe if the other child is not let go. That will hit the pocket book of the center. They may consider one challenging toddler lost is better than several typical toddlers gone.
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Old 11-22-2013, 07:01 AM
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I would tell the director about every person and comment that was made from the OTHER parents. Nothing is going to get her attention but the concern for people leaving over it.
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Old 11-22-2013, 07:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
The director is keeping him for money and won't let him go until he hits/kicks/punches money.

There's nothing you can do. Document every discussion with her and document the aggression. When he hits the Centers money they will term.
Unfortunately, this is the case. That is why I no longer work for centers. I would term this boy if he were in my program immediately. Centers are far less likely to do this.
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Old 11-22-2013, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoellesMama View Post
Hello everyone,
I need some help with a violent child in my 2-3y/o preschool class.
DCB is 2.5 years old,big for his age (he is as big as a kindergartner), defiant, and very aggressive with his peers. He is always hitting, pushing (with his body) or jumping on other children. I have seen him squeeze another child's eyes or just head butt a child for no reason! Usually, if ANY child harms another I send them to timeout, explain why the behavior is wrong & have them apologize. This usually works, but not with this child. He will kick, spit, remove his clothes/shoes and throw them, and will refuse to sit in the chair. Placing a 50lb "limp noodle" in timeout constantly is exhausting. I have addressed his behavior with his mother but shes of no help because shes in denial. I have also addressed his behavior with my director, but shes dismissive and tells me that mom feels Im picking on him. Mom has walked in on him in the act of hitting another child in the face with a block!
but of course her precious snowflake does no wrong.

Other than termination (which I honestly think needs to happen) what do you ladies suggest? Other parents are starting to show concern about his behavior.

Thank you in advance!

Wow! I think you got the child I termed in August. Maybe they moved from Kansas to DC in the mean time... Seriously though, sounds like EXACTLY the same child- 2.5, big for his age, mom in total denial even when she sees it, even when he is hitting her at that moment! No advice though, I ended up terming as I couldn't figure out any way at all to stop it. Not even shadowing helped, he was sneaky and fast and kept finding a way to get away from me and hurting the first person he could find before I could grab him...
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Old 11-23-2013, 01:29 PM
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Thank you for your input everyone. I will continue documenting and tell my director about the other parents concerns. Yesterday he went home right after nap time and we had one smooth afternoon; everyone played nicely and nobody was attacked by him .

I am seriously considering doing home daycare once I move into a bigger house. I hate that centers are so lax with these problem children until its hurting their pockets, I also have a 3 yr old DCG who has been kicked out of 4 different centers but thats another story for another thread

Thank you all so much!
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  #11  
Old 11-24-2013, 09:36 PM
susan247 susan247 is offline
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I have a three year old with similar aggression problems. We keep trying positive behavior reinforcement and it seemed to work for about a month but then he reverted back to some of his old ways, but not as bad. We have a sticker reward chart for each part of the day like carpet time, recess, snack time, etc. and if he doesn't require time out or hurt another child, he gets a smiley face sticker and a reward. When he first started with us, he would just run around the room causing complete destruction and chaos. Now we can at least get him to sit at the table and do a project and sit long enough to eat lunch. We're still working on carpet time and free play. Maybe instant rewards and reinforcement might work for your little guy.
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  #12  
Old 11-25-2013, 04:56 AM
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Kaddidle Care Kaddidle Care is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoellesMama View Post
Thank you for your input everyone. I will continue documenting and tell my director about the other parents concerns. Yesterday he went home right after nap time and we had one smooth afternoon; everyone played nicely and nobody was attacked by him .

I am seriously considering doing home daycare once I move into a bigger house. I hate that centers are so lax with these problem children until its hurting their pockets, I also have a 3 yr old DCG who has been kicked out of 4 different centers but thats another story for another thread

Thank you all so much!
Like the others said, if you relay to the Director that other parents are starting to talk about pulling their children, she may listen. The other workers need to be on your team for this too.

We had one similar that the Director wouldn't let go because the child was one of very few full timers and enrollment was low. The child was violent with other children and had hit and kicked every one of the staff. The child left when the mother had another baby but when I heard the Director told the mother that said child was welcome back any time it confirmed my decision to leave. I wonder how the child acted with the sibling.
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