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Parents and Guardians Forum>Advice On DCP Issues
imtatum 10:51 AM 04-23-2013
Hey all,
I have had some problems with a DCP recently, and not sure what I can do if anything. Here is what is going on:
My children are good children.... And I am not one of those mothers that says her rotten kid is good. You can ask anyone who has spent any amount of time with my kids and they will tell you the same thing. Some daycares are just not a good fit, but if a daycare is not a good fit, then admit it for what it is. Don’t blame it on the child! Don’t force parents to move their children quickly by charging them an outrageous amount of money.
My oldest son is in the Autism spectrum. His areas are sensory, social situations and communication. He tends to seek out certain sensations (tickling, heavy touch, rough housing) and avoids others (kisses, anything sticky) He does not understand appropriate social behavior and has a hard time communicating with his peers. He is a very black and white rule oriented child. Either its ok or its not. He has been attending ABC daycare since September 2012. From the time my children started there they have been rough housing with the providers husband. It is a “special treat” and something they get to do if they have had a good day/week. Soon after they started there my youngest son scratched another kid in the eye (her child). It was a inappropriate reaction, but it was also provoked. A few months later my oldest son hit another child. The provider, had assigned my son as her “helper.” It was clean up time and the toddler boy would not clean up, my son took the toy away from him to put away, the toddler took the toy back, my son hit him. When I talked to my son about it he admitted that he had hit him because he “took the toy away from him and wouldn’t clean up” the last incident was the one that caused the provider to remove my children from her daycare. The boys (my oldest, my youngest, her 5 year old and her 3 year old) were “racing” outside. The 3 year old was in the lead an my son pushed him, the child fell and busted his lip open. When my son was asked why he pushed the other child he said it was “because he wanted to win.” The 3 incidents listed are the only ones I have been notified about besides some rough-housing.
On 4/18/13 I received a letter from the provider after she picked up my oldest son at preschool stating that my childcare was being terminated because my children are too rough. I had 4 weeks to remove my children and I needed to pay $1200 plus whatever I was past due (300 for the week I received the termination notice) on or before 4/26/13. As that dollar amount was more than my entire paycheck, I was forced to find temporary daycare as soon as possible. I was able to find someone for the following Monday, so my children would only need to attend her daycare for one more day. I decided not to inform her until the last minute that my children would no longer be attending. But due to my oldest overhearing a phone conversation, 11:00 that day she was made aware that it would be their last day. She asked if I was going to pay her. I let her know that I would pay her 4/26/13. (this is not only the normal day that I paid her but the day specified in my written notice). She said "OK." After leaving and heading back to work I received a text message from her saying I need to pay her 300.00 cash (I have never paid cash) by 515 that day or she would turn me over to collection.
The provider never notified me that there was a problem other then the ones i have mentioned already. I don't pick up my children most days as i work longer hours. MY boyfriend or my mother usually picks them up. We all work together to make sure my boys are where they need to be when they need to be there and we are all able to fulfill our work obligations. Even though I might not be there at pick up or drop off time. she has my number and she does not hesitate to contact me about getting paid. but I have heard nothing about my childs behavior.
My childcare was terminated because my children were "too rough." I have called preschool teachers, special ED teachers, back up and former daycare providers. None of the people I have contacted have any reports of either one of my children is being rough. As I said before, my oldest sees everything in black and white. Good or bad, wright or wrong. Her husband was roughhousing with my son earlier this week. It happens frequently, and my son seeks it out because it is a sensation he enjoys. The provider will grab him and tickle him in a form of roughhouse play, this I have also witnessed recently. I don’t have a problem with this behavior because it is enjoyable for my son. But here lies the problem. The providers have made it ok for my son to roughhouse but now no longer want him to attend their daycare because he is too rough. My son doesn’t understand that something is ok sometimes and not ok other times. He doesn’t understand that it is ok to do things with some people and not with others. He knows They are the boss at daycare. They roughhouse with him at daycare. Therefore roughhousing is ok at daycare. He doesn’t understand that others have feelings, and he doesn’t understand when it is to stop a behavior. So this rough behavior that he is being punished for, is caused by them. But my son is the one who is punished.
So even though his behavior is not ok, it is caused by the environment. But instead of taking responsibility for cause of the behavior, she decides that my children are too rough to attend her daycare. I receive a text message every other thursday night before payment is due reminding me to pay the following day but not one message about my sons behavior. I now think my children were asked to leave for another reason. On the list you sent me I noticed Provider was listed under the self-declared providers, and as a self declared provider, she is only allowed to have 5 children, including her own. the provider had 8. she had my two boys, plus 4 other children, only one of my boys where there until 1030-1100 each day. She also has 2 after school. From 3 to 5 she had 8 kids. And i was contacted from someone who wanted to ask me some questions about her daycare because her 10 month old was starting on Monday. She also posted on her facebook site that her mom was moving to town, and once that happened she would be taking on more kids.
Another issue I have is that i have been required to pay for every time she has been closed. Her contract does state I have to pay if my child is there or not, and she has paid holidays and lists the holidays. It does not state anything about sick days or vacation days being paid. But I have paid for all of them. this has been a total of 10 days since the 1st of the year. I have had to pay for vacation days before with past daycares and have no problem with that, but with past daycares it was always stated clearly in the contract to expect those charges. This is particularly upsetting to me now in light of what happened today.
As I mentioned before. I received a text message at 1154 am, after we had verbally agreed that i would pay on 4/26/13, "I will need the $300.00 tonight by 5:15. And cash only? Also if not pd it will. go to collections. I will have there. things packed up." I called my boyfriend and explained the text message and situation as he picks up the kids. I told him i do not have 300.00 right now, I could not go to the bank to get cash and wouldn't have it anyways until my payday (4/26/13). He said he would speak with the provider for me when he picked up the boys. I did not respond to her message. When boyfriend arrived to pick up my boys, she asked if i had given him any money. He told her I had not and would pay her on the previously agreed upon day. She refused to give my children the blankets that they had brought to daycare for quite time because I had not paid. This caused my autistic son much distress and he had a total melt down. My son was heartbroken. All he wanted was his blanket and she refused to give it to him until I pay her the 300.00.
I understand that neither one of us have probably handled the situation very well, but her completely unprofessional behavior is uncalled for. She has a dispute with me, not my son. He does not deserve the treatment He has received. All the poor kid wanted was his angry birds blanket, I have never not paid or shorted her before. Every check i have given her has been good. If there were any financial problems I would make her aware of them and make arrangements with her. there is no reason for her to believe that I would not pay her on the date we originally agreed. And to cause my child to have a complete meltdown to prove a point to me, is completely uncalled for.
Change is not an easy thing for a child with autism. And the events that happened today will definitely have a negative affect on my son. I did tell my children that Provider did not want them to go to her house anymore. They wanted to know why today was there last day, and I do not believe in lying to my children, especially when it is something they may overhear in a conversation. Since DS is so grounded in rules and reality, not in pretend or the abstract, if i am truthful in my answers with him and explain things in a logical way that he will understand he his more accepting of the change.
I contacted social services and they are going to look into the roughhousing and the too many children, but they cannot address "contract disputes" and feel that the rest of my issue are contract related. I am not sure what I can do. I live in an area where childcare is very hard to find and alot of providers are taking advantage of this. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
I have had some problems with a DCP recently, and not sure what I can do if anything. Here is what is going on:
My children are good children.... And I am not one of those mothers that says her rotten kid is good. You can ask anyone who has spent any amount of time with my kids and they will tell you the same thing. Some daycares are just not a good fit, but if a daycare is not a good fit, then admit it for what it is. Don’t blame it on the child! Don’t force parents to move their children quickly by charging them an outrageous amount of money.
My oldest son is in the Autism spectrum. His areas are sensory, social situations and communication. He tends to seek out certain sensations (tickling, heavy touch, rough housing) and avoids others (kisses, anything sticky) He does not understand appropriate social behavior and has a hard time communicating with his peers. He is a very black and white rule oriented child. Either its ok or its not. He has been attending ABC daycare since September 2012. From the time my children started there they have been rough housing with the providers husband. It is a “special treat” and something they get to do if they have had a good day/week. Soon after they started there my youngest son scratched another kid in the eye (her child). It was a inappropriate reaction, but it was also provoked. A few months later my oldest son hit another child. The provider, had assigned my son as her “helper.” It was clean up time and the toddler boy would not clean up, my son took the toy away from him to put away, the toddler took the toy back, my son hit him. When I talked to my son about it he admitted that he had hit him because he “took the toy away from him and wouldn’t clean up” the last incident was the one that caused the provider to remove my children from her daycare. The boys (my oldest, my youngest, her 5 year old and her 3 year old) were “racing” outside. The 3 year old was in the lead an my son pushed him, the child fell and busted his lip open. When my son was asked why he pushed the other child he said it was “because he wanted to win.” The 3 incidents listed are the only ones I have been notified about besides some rough-housing.
On 4/18/13 I received a letter from the provider after she picked up my oldest son at preschool stating that my childcare was being terminated because my children are too rough. I had 4 weeks to remove my children and I needed to pay $1200 plus whatever I was past due (300 for the week I received the termination notice) on or before 4/26/13. As that dollar amount was more than my entire paycheck, I was forced to find temporary daycare as soon as possible. I was able to find someone for the following Monday, so my children would only need to attend her daycare for one more day. I decided not to inform her until the last minute that my children would no longer be attending. But due to my oldest overhearing a phone conversation, 11:00 that day she was made aware that it would be their last day. She asked if I was going to pay her. I let her know that I would pay her 4/26/13. (this is not only the normal day that I paid her but the day specified in my written notice). She said "OK." After leaving and heading back to work I received a text message from her saying I need to pay her 300.00 cash (I have never paid cash) by 515 that day or she would turn me over to collection.
The provider never notified me that there was a problem other then the ones i have mentioned already. I don't pick up my children most days as i work longer hours. MY boyfriend or my mother usually picks them up. We all work together to make sure my boys are where they need to be when they need to be there and we are all able to fulfill our work obligations. Even though I might not be there at pick up or drop off time. she has my number and she does not hesitate to contact me about getting paid. but I have heard nothing about my childs behavior.
My childcare was terminated because my children were "too rough." I have called preschool teachers, special ED teachers, back up and former daycare providers. None of the people I have contacted have any reports of either one of my children is being rough. As I said before, my oldest sees everything in black and white. Good or bad, wright or wrong. Her husband was roughhousing with my son earlier this week. It happens frequently, and my son seeks it out because it is a sensation he enjoys. The provider will grab him and tickle him in a form of roughhouse play, this I have also witnessed recently. I don’t have a problem with this behavior because it is enjoyable for my son. But here lies the problem. The providers have made it ok for my son to roughhouse but now no longer want him to attend their daycare because he is too rough. My son doesn’t understand that something is ok sometimes and not ok other times. He doesn’t understand that it is ok to do things with some people and not with others. He knows They are the boss at daycare. They roughhouse with him at daycare. Therefore roughhousing is ok at daycare. He doesn’t understand that others have feelings, and he doesn’t understand when it is to stop a behavior. So this rough behavior that he is being punished for, is caused by them. But my son is the one who is punished.
So even though his behavior is not ok, it is caused by the environment. But instead of taking responsibility for cause of the behavior, she decides that my children are too rough to attend her daycare. I receive a text message every other thursday night before payment is due reminding me to pay the following day but not one message about my sons behavior. I now think my children were asked to leave for another reason. On the list you sent me I noticed Provider was listed under the self-declared providers, and as a self declared provider, she is only allowed to have 5 children, including her own. the provider had 8. she had my two boys, plus 4 other children, only one of my boys where there until 1030-1100 each day. She also has 2 after school. From 3 to 5 she had 8 kids. And i was contacted from someone who wanted to ask me some questions about her daycare because her 10 month old was starting on Monday. She also posted on her facebook site that her mom was moving to town, and once that happened she would be taking on more kids.
Another issue I have is that i have been required to pay for every time she has been closed. Her contract does state I have to pay if my child is there or not, and she has paid holidays and lists the holidays. It does not state anything about sick days or vacation days being paid. But I have paid for all of them. this has been a total of 10 days since the 1st of the year. I have had to pay for vacation days before with past daycares and have no problem with that, but with past daycares it was always stated clearly in the contract to expect those charges. This is particularly upsetting to me now in light of what happened today.
As I mentioned before. I received a text message at 1154 am, after we had verbally agreed that i would pay on 4/26/13, "I will need the $300.00 tonight by 5:15. And cash only? Also if not pd it will. go to collections. I will have there. things packed up." I called my boyfriend and explained the text message and situation as he picks up the kids. I told him i do not have 300.00 right now, I could not go to the bank to get cash and wouldn't have it anyways until my payday (4/26/13). He said he would speak with the provider for me when he picked up the boys. I did not respond to her message. When boyfriend arrived to pick up my boys, she asked if i had given him any money. He told her I had not and would pay her on the previously agreed upon day. She refused to give my children the blankets that they had brought to daycare for quite time because I had not paid. This caused my autistic son much distress and he had a total melt down. My son was heartbroken. All he wanted was his blanket and she refused to give it to him until I pay her the 300.00.
I understand that neither one of us have probably handled the situation very well, but her completely unprofessional behavior is uncalled for. She has a dispute with me, not my son. He does not deserve the treatment He has received. All the poor kid wanted was his angry birds blanket, I have never not paid or shorted her before. Every check i have given her has been good. If there were any financial problems I would make her aware of them and make arrangements with her. there is no reason for her to believe that I would not pay her on the date we originally agreed. And to cause my child to have a complete meltdown to prove a point to me, is completely uncalled for.
Change is not an easy thing for a child with autism. And the events that happened today will definitely have a negative affect on my son. I did tell my children that Provider did not want them to go to her house anymore. They wanted to know why today was there last day, and I do not believe in lying to my children, especially when it is something they may overhear in a conversation. Since DS is so grounded in rules and reality, not in pretend or the abstract, if i am truthful in my answers with him and explain things in a logical way that he will understand he his more accepting of the change.
I contacted social services and they are going to look into the roughhousing and the too many children, but they cannot address "contract disputes" and feel that the rest of my issue are contract related. I am not sure what I can do. I live in an area where childcare is very hard to find and alot of providers are taking advantage of this. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:00 AM 04-23-2013
I am not understanding why she initially wanted $1200.
She gave you a two week notice period. You opted to terminate care earlier. How many weeks notice did the contract you signed say you needed to provide?
Is any of the termination (her terminating the contract or you) in writing?
She gave you a two week notice period. You opted to terminate care earlier. How many weeks notice did the contract you signed say you needed to provide?
Is any of the termination (her terminating the contract or you) in writing?
imtatum 11:02 AM 04-23-2013
1200 is the charge for 4 weeks. she actually wanted 1500. 1200 for the 4 weeks she agreed to keep my children and 300 for the previous week. The contract stated that I need to give 4 weeks notice if I am terminating care. It did not say anything if she is terminating care.
imtatum 11:07 AM 04-23-2013
The termination notice is in writing and is
"I am giving you your notice for Daycare Termination as of 4-18-13 for your children, XXXXX and XXXXX. You will have four weeks to find other arrangements. As a Daycare provider, I cannot allow your children to be rough in my Daycare. We have had too many accidents with other children getting hurt and after reviewing the circumstances, I have made decision let them go. You will have to pay $1200.00 for the care of the xxxxx and xxxx for 4 weeks of childcare, plus your current balance, within or by 4-16-13, this is also stated within the Full Contract you have signed."
When I reviewed the contract I signed, it stated that when I termintated care i needed to give 4 weeks notice and payment was due upon reciept of notice for the 4 weeks. it said nothing about the provider terminating notice.
"I am giving you your notice for Daycare Termination as of 4-18-13 for your children, XXXXX and XXXXX. You will have four weeks to find other arrangements. As a Daycare provider, I cannot allow your children to be rough in my Daycare. We have had too many accidents with other children getting hurt and after reviewing the circumstances, I have made decision let them go. You will have to pay $1200.00 for the care of the xxxxx and xxxx for 4 weeks of childcare, plus your current balance, within or by 4-16-13, this is also stated within the Full Contract you have signed."
When I reviewed the contract I signed, it stated that when I termintated care i needed to give 4 weeks notice and payment was due upon reciept of notice for the 4 weeks. it said nothing about the provider terminating notice.
itlw8 11:20 AM 04-23-2013
If a provider terminates care you are not required to pay the 4 week notice. She terminated the contract. You do need to pay the 300 on the date it is due on. If she turns it into collection you dispute the charge stating provider terminated care and the 1200 is for services not provided.
As far as the blanket I would go back and ask for it to be returned. It is stealing. If you happen to know an off duty officer it would be nice if they went with you.
As far as the blanket I would go back and ask for it to be returned. It is stealing. If you happen to know an off duty officer it would be nice if they went with you.
MarinaVanessa 11:48 AM 04-23-2013
Originally Posted by itlw8:
If a provider terminates care you are not required to pay the 4 week notice. She terminated the contract. You do need to pay the 300 on the date it is due on. If she turns it into collection you dispute the charge stating provider terminated care and the 1200 is for services not provided.
As far as the blanket I would go back and ask for it to be returned. It is stealing. If you happen to know an off duty officer it would be nice if they went with you.
I disagree with this and know of a provider in my state (CA) who fought a situation like this and won. The provider is not terminating care until 4 weeks which means that the contract is still valid for 4 weeks from the date of the notice regardless of whether the contract has anything in it about provider termination. The parent is choosing to remove their child before the 4 weeks are up but technically the contract is still valid for another 4 weeks. If the contract says that the parent must pay regardless of attendance then she may still be obligated to pay. If a provider terminates care you are not required to pay the 4 week notice. She terminated the contract. You do need to pay the 300 on the date it is due on. If she turns it into collection you dispute the charge stating provider terminated care and the 1200 is for services not provided.
As far as the blanket I would go back and ask for it to be returned. It is stealing. If you happen to know an off duty officer it would be nice if they went with you.
To Parent: Can you quote the contract that talks about this so that we can get a little more insight please?
I'm sure it can be different in every state and the parent might have a chance if she fights this in court and although even I think that paying for 4 weeks is unfair the parent is probably still obligated to follow the contract that she agreed to.
Upon thinking about this situation further the parent could also take the provider to court to remove the charges nd try to claim that why if the provider thought that her child was so dangerous that she had to terminate care would she want him for another 4 weeks vs terminating his care immediately??? Money of course. The provider gets paid for an addition 4 weeks vs none.
Personally I would terminate care for this child immediately and call it a wash if it was as "dangerous" as the parent says the provider is claiming.
JoseyJo 12:22 PM 04-23-2013
I guess I don't understand what the problem is?? If the contract says the payment would be due on 4/26 and it doesn't say anything about it being due on the last day of services if services are terminated then the payment is due on 4/26. That is only 3 days from now- if you pay her then I seriously doubt she would send you to collections. What would she send you for? You wouldn't owe any late fees and you would have already paid her. Am I missing something?
It sounds like this daycare was not a good fit for either your family or the provider. That happens sometimes. Every family is different and every provider is different and sometimes that just doesn't mesh well. Personally I see lots of things that would not mesh well with me as a parent, or me as a provider on both sides of the issue per your post.
All said and done though- if the provider doesn't feel that she can provide the correct level/type of care for your child and keep everyone safe then it is not a good fit and it is best for everyone to part ways.
It sounds like this daycare was not a good fit for either your family or the provider. That happens sometimes. Every family is different and every provider is different and sometimes that just doesn't mesh well. Personally I see lots of things that would not mesh well with me as a parent, or me as a provider on both sides of the issue per your post.
All said and done though- if the provider doesn't feel that she can provide the correct level/type of care for your child and keep everyone safe then it is not a good fit and it is best for everyone to part ways.
MarinaVanessa 11:40 AM 04-23-2013
Although the contract says nothing about the provider terminating care she has given you a 4 week notice of termination which you would have to pay if you were the one who decided to terminate services. If however she gave you a 2 week notice and expected you to pay for 4 weeks then you would not be obligated to pay for those additional 2 weeks of care that you would not be given. Even though she has given you notice you are obligated to give a minimum of 4 weeks notice if you terminate so you can't really get out of paying for 4 weeks KWIM?
So it's your decision now whether you keep your child with her or not for the remaining time of your termination notice but you will be obligated to pay her regardless of whether your kids stay there or not.
As far as payment goes well ... I send a certified letter to her quoting the amount on the signed contract that was agreed upon as well as the payment due dates. There is no reason why you should have to pay a huge lump sum on a particular day simply because now she is demanding it. You can continue to pay the amount that you owe each week on the day that the contact says. For example if your contract says you are required to pay $300 on Mondays for the week then you can continue to pay $300 on Mondays.
Can you quote your payment terms for your contract for us?
If you are late in paying your DCP for last week already then really you owe her that money. If she has late payment fees in the contract then she is owed those as well. If you are late paying the $300 then yes she can report you to collections for the debt that is due because it is late but not for the remaining $1200 because that amount is not due yet.
When was this $300 due?
As far as your child being black and white and not understanding that rough housing is only appropriate some of the time and not others ... I am sorry but apparently he does because your child knows that it's not appropriate behavior anywhere else except while at your DC providers home (you stated that your child doesn't have these issues anywhere else).
I know that it is difficult for children with certain disorders or behavioral issues to understand certain things however at this point you have to realize that whether it's your provider's fault or not your child has now become a liability which can lead to a potentially more dangerous situation. If it is her fault and she initiated the approval of this behavior in her daycare which led to the aggresive nehavior towards other children it seems to me as if she now realizes this and is correcting the situation now by removing your child. And regardless or not whether the provider approved of the rough housing ... so did you ... you knew it was happening and were okay with it until it became a problem for you (the provider terminating) and did not discourage it or ask for it to stop knowing that your child is "black and white" and might not be able to distinguish between when the play is appropriate and when it isn't.
As difficukt as it is for you to see it from her stand-point it is just as difficult for her to see it from yours. I think the best thing for your family and hers is to go your seperate ways, which you are doing.
She has given you 4 weeks notice of termination, if you want to leave earlier than that you can but unfortunately you are still liable to pay for the final termination period
.
So it's your decision now whether you keep your child with her or not for the remaining time of your termination notice but you will be obligated to pay her regardless of whether your kids stay there or not.
As far as payment goes well ... I send a certified letter to her quoting the amount on the signed contract that was agreed upon as well as the payment due dates. There is no reason why you should have to pay a huge lump sum on a particular day simply because now she is demanding it. You can continue to pay the amount that you owe each week on the day that the contact says. For example if your contract says you are required to pay $300 on Mondays for the week then you can continue to pay $300 on Mondays.
Can you quote your payment terms for your contract for us?
If you are late in paying your DCP for last week already then really you owe her that money. If she has late payment fees in the contract then she is owed those as well. If you are late paying the $300 then yes she can report you to collections for the debt that is due because it is late but not for the remaining $1200 because that amount is not due yet.
When was this $300 due?
As far as your child being black and white and not understanding that rough housing is only appropriate some of the time and not others ... I am sorry but apparently he does because your child knows that it's not appropriate behavior anywhere else except while at your DC providers home (you stated that your child doesn't have these issues anywhere else).
I know that it is difficult for children with certain disorders or behavioral issues to understand certain things however at this point you have to realize that whether it's your provider's fault or not your child has now become a liability which can lead to a potentially more dangerous situation. If it is her fault and she initiated the approval of this behavior in her daycare which led to the aggresive nehavior towards other children it seems to me as if she now realizes this and is correcting the situation now by removing your child. And regardless or not whether the provider approved of the rough housing ... so did you ... you knew it was happening and were okay with it until it became a problem for you (the provider terminating) and did not discourage it or ask for it to stop knowing that your child is "black and white" and might not be able to distinguish between when the play is appropriate and when it isn't.
As difficukt as it is for you to see it from her stand-point it is just as difficult for her to see it from yours. I think the best thing for your family and hers is to go your seperate ways, which you are doing.
She has given you 4 weeks notice of termination, if you want to leave earlier than that you can but unfortunately you are still liable to pay for the final termination period
.
imtatum 11:56 AM 04-23-2013
my payments were due every other friday. the 300 is not due until 4/26/13 (I pay 600.00 every other friday two weeks care at a time)
When my son hit the toddler at daycare, I mentioned that he was a black and white child. I have actually mentioned this lots of times. And I asked if it had happened after roughhousing with her husband when it was reported to me. I explained to her that once he starts roughhousing, he does not always know when to stop or that its not ok to do it with the other kids. I told her I was ok with the roughhousing, since it is a sensation he enjoys as long as it was not causing any problems for her. But I did warn her. I also gave her resources to read about my child and started a conversation between her, myself and his preschool teacher about some of his behaviors and potential triggers.
He roughhoused there because it was made ok. He understands that some behaviors are ok in some places and not in others. Church we are quiet because it is church, that is the rule. outside is for running, that is the rule. Grandmas we dont roughhouse, thats the rule. Moms we dont roughhouse thats the rule. School we sit in our desk and dont run in the halls, thats the rule. Daycare we roughhouse with Mr Joe. When they would roughhouse there it would be her two boys and my two boys and the husband. Since it Mr. Joe did it with him and the other boys, it must be ok.
When my son hit the toddler at daycare, I mentioned that he was a black and white child. I have actually mentioned this lots of times. And I asked if it had happened after roughhousing with her husband when it was reported to me. I explained to her that once he starts roughhousing, he does not always know when to stop or that its not ok to do it with the other kids. I told her I was ok with the roughhousing, since it is a sensation he enjoys as long as it was not causing any problems for her. But I did warn her. I also gave her resources to read about my child and started a conversation between her, myself and his preschool teacher about some of his behaviors and potential triggers.
He roughhoused there because it was made ok. He understands that some behaviors are ok in some places and not in others. Church we are quiet because it is church, that is the rule. outside is for running, that is the rule. Grandmas we dont roughhouse, thats the rule. Moms we dont roughhouse thats the rule. School we sit in our desk and dont run in the halls, thats the rule. Daycare we roughhouse with Mr Joe. When they would roughhouse there it would be her two boys and my two boys and the husband. Since it Mr. Joe did it with him and the other boys, it must be ok.
imtatum 03:14 PM 04-23-2013
It has to be extreme for my autistic child to hit or push. It is not normal behavior for,him. After both incidents I contacted his teachers and therapist. The teacher, who also teaches the child of the provider, asked me if I believed it. She did not think it happened. A fit yes but not aggression. His therapist also was shocked. He can be aggressive with his brother but,usually it is the,other way around.