What do you think about that? I was told today that while they are on vacation next week they will be potty training. He has not shown any readiness. I asked if he was showing interest at home and she said "No, but my pediatrician said that in the 1950's kids were potty trained by age one."

I have heard of people training their kids very early, but they started right away. Have any of you heard of successful training at this age? My daughter was around age two, was very verbal, showed signs of readiness and understood the concept of the sticker chart/M&M for reward.

I LOVE this family and am never annoyed by them, but this one threw me for a loop. If there are lots of accidents I will just have to get strict on the pullups policy.

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Honestly, at that age the child isn't potty trained - the parent is trained to watch for signs that the child needs to use the potty and then immediately run them in there. I know lots of people want their child potty trained at an early age (15 month is early to me!) but from experience (my kids are 8.5, 6, 3 and 2) it's just best to wait until they are showing signs of readiness.

I fought my oldest for about a year - he would have an accident right in front of me and not care at all! It was frustrating and stressful for both of us. He wasn't fully trained (meaning, not having any daytime accidents) until he was nearly four! My 6 and 3 year old both potty trained themselves (older one at just past 3, younger one at 2.5 - day AND night trained). My 2 year old will go when I put her on the potty but she doesn't tell me when she needs to go yet (and isn't all that eager to go either). Not worried about it at all - not worth stressing over!

Oh, and I don't think a child is potty trained if I have to undress/hold hands/wipe/flush/dress/wash hands with them EVERY TIME. Again - parent is trained, not the child! Less work to change a diaper, lol!

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Have fun trying to keep up with a 15 month old "potty trained" kid when they return. That sounds like too much work!!

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That's what I think! That is kind of why I posted this, I was hoping for some constructive feedback. I plan on revisiting the potty training section in my contract with her. It is not super specific, but it does say Your child will need to wear pull up diapers until well established, this is for sanitary purposes.

What would you have said to her when she told you this? IMO this is WAY too young! BUT he is not my kid.

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My rule is that the child must be able to verbally tell me that he has to go potty BEFORE he has to go potty before they can even go in pullups. They must be able to SAY the words "I have to go potty" BEFORE they have to go potty. Then once the child says he has to go potty then I put them on the potty and they must GO potty after saying that.

They have to have two full uninterupted weeks here of telling me they have to go potty BEFORE they have to go potty and being dry before they can go in undies. The most I ever do in pull ups is two weeks.

My response to the parents would be to tell them the above but highly encourage them to go for it at home. Tell them.. let me know how it goes. If you can get him to SAY the words "I have to go potty" (not signing the words with his hands or you reading his bodily cues) when he has to go then that will facilitate his going potty here. Until then we will just let you guys go for it.

As long as they don't expect anything to happen in day care you are good. Once they want you to be a part of training a child that can't even talk then you have a problem.

I had one years ago where the parents put her in pullups at age 18 months. She was not trained until she was almost four. It was rediculous. That was back in the day when pullups were thick and the side bands were padded. I wouldn't dream of using the ones they make now. They are so flimsy and have so little material on the side.

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At that age the only ones potty trained would be the parents. My mother raised me and my siblings in the 30's and in the 50's, she said we were all trained before two BUT she was a SAHM and was able to read the signs and knew when we had to go! Some kids can't even walk and/or talk at 15mos. They are just setting themselves up for failure, IMO, and will probably create a monstrous situation because of it. The child because of it will probably be messing his pants until he's 6. Good Luck with that one.

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This sounds terrible, but I am just hoping that the attempt fails miserably and they will just give up! I am just going to tell her I will work with him here but he will need to be in pullups!

She said for the week that he is home (and at his gma's house) he will be walking around naked...

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I always tell parents that you can wait until he is ready and be done in two days, OR we can start now when he's not ready and we'll be done in 6 months......after alot of uneccessary frustration on both the child's and the parents/providers part.

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This is very close to how I do it. Here is my policy.

"During the normal course of a child’s development they become aware of the uncomfortable sensation of toileting in a diaper. Assistance with toilet training will be provided with the understanding that success can only be achieved if we work together.

Toilet training must first begin at home when the child shows signs of readiness such as an interest to use the potty, saying he/she needs to go potty etc. Once potty training introduction is made at home and the child shows signs of interest and improvement after two weeks then potty training will begin at daycare as well.

Potty training at daycare will begin in regular diapers until the child can verbally notify the childcare provider that he/she must use the toilet before they actually go potty. Once this is accomplished the child is ready to use training diapers at daycare.

Training diapers will continue to be used until the child can notify the daycare provider that he/she has to use the toilet, can take him/herself to the bathroom, undress, use the toilet by him/herself, and dress him/herself succesfully and unassisted. When the child can accomplish this successfully for two-weeks without an accident the child is ready to use children's underwear at daycare. If the child has an accident in underwear the child will go back to training diapers until another uninterupted two weeks of have gone by without an accident. If another accident occurs the two week period will start over. Once the child can successfully use the toilet unassisted for two weeks, potty training will be considered successfull"

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I have a mother of a 13, yes 13 month old tell me last week that dcb was going to potty train over the 4th. She brought me the plastic underwear and pullups. This child has no words for potty, no ability to tell anyone she has to go. She tells me that there is a hand signal. I am yet to see it. The child will not sit on one of those seperate baby potty thingies, only the big potty so you have to sit there. I said....go for it at home! So she calls me 3 times on Thursday to ask if we are working on the potty. Hello! I have 5 other children here! She said, well we camped out all night in the bathroom and she went once. I said, yep, you keep on doing that! Meanwhile, I have an almost 3 yr old in care that is no where close and the parents are laid back about it like me. Yikes. We will see how it went for the first mom when they return tomorrow. I'll keep you posted.

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My policy is pretty much like Nan's, too. I don't consider a child to be "potty trained" until the child can tell me that they have to go and doesn't pee or poop in the pull up and then tell me that they have to go. I don't consider a child to be potty trained if the parents is sitting them on the toilet every 5 or 10 minutes and on one of those trips the child pees in the potty. That's just luck. I have a no cloth underwear until a child is accident free and daycare for 2 weeks, and in the even that they have an accident after starting in cloth underwear, then they go back to pull-ups until they get more secure in their potty training.

I have a theory. I thnk that some parents associate very early potty training with a child being incredibly intelligent and advanced. I think that's BS and I won't be a part of it. A child showing interest in the potty at a year old is not a surefire indicator that a child is ready to be potty trained. It's curiousity. This happened with my daughter and I mistook it for her being ready to potty train. Because of how eager I was about the pottytraining, I found myself getting mad when she would pee or poop on herself. I really set her back with the potty training and she was about 3.5 when I finally got her daytime trained. If I hadn't pushed, then she might have had an easier time with it. There are exceptions to the rule, but in general, a 15 month old child is not ready to potty train.

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I think some of them associate it with a rate decrease also. That's why I changed it to say my rates go down when they are potty trained AND at least 3 yrs old.

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Yup it's the first fronteir of their journey for a gifted kid.

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My oldest daughter (now 11) was fully potty trained by 13 months. She started showing interest at 11 months. I didn't really train her, either. It was really self interest. She was walking by 8 months old (seriously!!) and her first phrases at 10 months were "I want a puppy" and "Happy Birthday". She always followed me into the bathroom, and just mocked what I did on her little potty seat we had on the floor. By 12 months she was pulling down her diapers and sitting to copy me and by 13 months she would tell me when she had to go.

It IS possible for a young child to be "trained", however, I don't think its very common. I think my daughter is just weird!! My 9 year old wasn't trained until 2 years, my 7 year old: 3 years and my son....he was a pill and didn't really get it until 3.5. He's 4.5 now and STILL has day time accidents when he's too busy playing to care.

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THis is what I have in my contract- I will assist in potty training- this needs to be started at home and child making good progress and totally understand the concept of it, before I will assist with it here. Pullups are required until totally potty trained(this means goes on their own without assistance and reminders from myself) I placed this in last yr. this is very good, and let's parents know just when you will start it here.

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Here's a funny story about early potty training. My dad says that his mom (my grandma, now deceased) claimed that he was potty trained by 9 months old. However, this meant that they let him run around on their farm without any pants on. So I always laughed at this story because this is not "trained". Then one day, it dawned on me that the story was not even possible. My dad was born in March. He was born and raised in a rural town in northern Illinois. Ok, people, do the math. When he was 9 months old, it was December! In the midwest! Would any of you let your 9 month old child run around naked outside in December in the midwest? When I realized this, I called dear old dad and told him that grandma had been feeding him a line of bull his entire life. FYI - my grandma was an awesome mom, definitely not stupid or neglectful.

As for potty training at 15 months, it's not IMPOSSIBLE, but extremely unlikely that he's ready. I agree that this is an example of first time parents who think their child is a genius and potty training early merely substantiates this ago-centric attitude. Also, there's no proof that a child that sits, crawls, walks, or is potty trained at an early age is smarter, more intelligent, or more successful later in life. Yet, some parents use these early milestones as predictors of their child's future success. Geez, just let the kid be a kid and grow when (s)he's ready.

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I am adding some of this to my contract and will show it to her tonight. We'll see what she says. I haven't had any issues with them and consider her a friend, so we will see!

I am just going to approach it that she caught me off guard at pick-up time last night and I had a couple of questions.

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My policy is very similar to nannyde's and yours. I have a question though - How long is too long to "wait until the child is ready"? I mean, do any of you have 3 and 4 year olds that shows NO interest whatsoever? I have one and it drives me nuts. He pees and poops on himself all day and carries on like its nothing. The other 3-yr olds won't play with him when he's "stinky" and it doesn't even phase him. I have tried to get him interested by reading potty books, letting him watch the other kids go, seeing them get stickers on their charts, etc. Any ideas on how to give this kid a little push?

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It sucks when a kid shows absolutely no interest in potty training and doesn't care about having a poopy pull-up or a wet pull-up. I had a dcb who was almost 4 (his birthday was in March and his last day here was in February) and he would not use the toilet. I tried every single tactic that I knew of. He just didn't care! His mom was mad at me because he wasn't potty trained here and he was a home (she and I had very different definitions of what "potty trained" meant). She was putting him on the toilet about every 5 to 10 minutes and she was letting him pee in the shower. I didn't know that she was doing that until she asked me if I would just let him pee in the shower at my house since that's what he did at home. I've only had 1 other kid that struggled with potty training and for him, it was an issue of a developmental delay and a language and comprehension delay. I wish I had advice on how to deal with it, but toilet training is an area where ultimately, the kid has control and if they don't want to do it, they will make it a nightmare for you! Good luck!

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Thanks for the much needed laugh!

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My own daughter was like this. We "trained" her and then all of a sudden 3 months later she just didn't want to go anymore. She'd poop right in her undies Grrr . I just put a pull-up over her underwear and let her sit in it for a bit. She didn't like that at all. I also did this with another child that was 4 years old that I used to watch with the same problem. I also charged the highre rate for him.

I also have a rate decrease when they are 3yo AND potty trained. Changing diapers is more of a hassle for me when they are older. Theres more poop and the smell is worse and it's just wierd.

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Not to mention they start to get too heavy to lift up onto the changing table!

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Changing a one yr. old is nothing like a 3 or 4 yr. old!!!!
WOW I JUST NOTICED I MADE MY 1,000TH POST ON HERE!! THAT MUST MEAN I TALK TO MUCH!!! HA!!!!! I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT KEPT TRACK OF THEM ALL!!!!

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I agree that it's not impossible. But since he's not showing signs I don't think it's going to happen in one week.

Babies are born with the instinct to not soil themselves. But in this century we just put babies in diapers to make it easier on us.

When my son was a baby I did baby pottying. He was not trained but I knew when he needed to go and I put him on the potty and he peed and pooped there, somedays almost every movement for that day. I used cloth diapers at this time.

I was working part time and the caregiver had no interested in doing it with him (he was under a year) I didn't push it with her to do it. I understood that she would not be able to read my son like I could.

We were in underwear the summer he was 15 months. He could tell me he needed to go most of the time. For me it was money saving to use underwear with rubber pants over them and not waste it on diapers. But it was me...not a caregiver. As a stay at home mom I could put that time in.

He was pee trained before two. Poop was a different story. But that only happened once a day.

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i don't think it's too early to introduce them. he may not be TRAINED at 15 months, but there's no reason to NOT get started - it can't hurt.

i let my kids go to the potty with me (my daughter) and my husband (my son) as soon as they were walking. they were interested in it just like they're interested in doing everything adults do. supposedly, it's normal for 3 year olds to not be fully potty trained, but i think that's ridiculous. there's no sense in that. yeah, they'll go when they're ready, but you can also do things to speed up the process. teenagers will get a job and move out when they're ready, but there are things you can do to make them do it a little quicker (like not buying them a car and paying for everything). i probably would've lived at home forever if my mom had paid for everything and let me leave "when i was ready." she didn't. she stopped paying for anything when i was old enough to get a job (16) and that included groceries. if you wanna eat - you'll get a job. in this case, if you don't want poop in your underwear - you'll start pottying.

i would put my kid's potty in the living room when we watched t.v. which was usually 30 mins - 1 hour every evening. they'd be stark naked and that is where they would sit when we watched t.v. MOST of the time they didn't potty in it, but the first time they did - i acted like it was the greatest thing EVER! they figured out after 2 or 3 times of accidentally peeing in the potty while we watched t.v. that i wanted them to potty in there and then they started TRYING to do it. they were both trained by 2 and they were not pushed or given unrealistic goals. i also let them sleep in underwear so they'd feel it when they peed at night and wake up. yeah, i had to wash a LOT of bedsheets, but they caught on quick. i'd also wake up in the night around 1 or 2 and get them up to go to the potty. that's a big reason kids are potty trained later than they used to be - it's easier to throw away a diaper than it is to wash and dry sheets every day. it's easier to sleep through the night then wake up for a potty trip. JMO of course.

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I did this with a set of 3yo twins and it did wonders! Of course I was a nanny at the time and it was THEIR house so if they got up and peed or pooped it was on THEIR floor lol. I havn't tried this at home in a long time since I don't have any younger kids to toilet train but I plan on doing this when the younger DC kids start toilet training.

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I would never ask a daycare provider to expect a 15-month-old to be potty trained. My 16-month-old is very interrested and we've introduced her to the whole process. She does sign-language for "potty" when she needs to go (she is nearly deaf in her left ear so signlanguage is becoming part of her everyday communication), takes off her diaper, and uses the stool to get up on the toilet after we've put her toddler ring on it. I don't think it would take much to have her completely potty trained but we aren't pushing it. I thought it was way too early but I wasn't going to hold her back either. There is no way that even with how far she's already come that I would ask a daycare provider to help me potty train her at this early age if I had to put her in daycare. I would communicate with the provider how things were going at home and leave the rest up to the provider about how much they wanted to do with her. If I couldn't trust my provider with knowing whether they could help in this area, I'm sure that wouldn't be the only issue. Having been in the position of having to put my oldest daughter in care and, now, being a provider myself, I can say that parents need to trust their provider's judgement and if they can't, they need to get a new provider. The success of a child, parent, provider, and all the relationships between those people depend on the parent relaxing enough to not push their child, themselves, or their provider further than they can go. (No, I'm not saying that you should never push your child farther than they THINK they can go.)

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My daughter is being pressured into force potty training her 2year and 2 month old son under threat of disenrollment. He is expected to go to bathroom by himself totally to include initiating, opening door, pulling clothes on and off, wiping, washing hands. I think this is crazy. He is doing OK but still having some accidents and has not started to wipe himself. I feel this is so wrong and is way too much pressure and is totally unnecessary and unrealistic for many children his age.

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What do you think about training a 12 month old ? That couldnt even walk yet......and couldnt even talk yet......I have a mom that is a potty training NAZI - this is literally ALLLLL she talks about every single day

This 12 month old is now almost 2 - we have been trying to train her for almost a year...she is still not trained.

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You can't let parents fixate on stuff like this with you.

You have to be able to set some boundries of what they can do to consume your time. Constanly talking about it is forcing you to conference with her about it. I'm sure you didn't figure THAT into your fee for a one year old.

The best way to get this to stop is to attach fees to it. You can tell them you don't have this built into your fees and that you will need an extra XX dollars per week to cover the cost of the one to one care of the child who is training with the parents system they want you to do AND the cost of the parent conference to discuss the outcomes (or lack thereof). Attach a big hefty fee to it... like 30 bucks a week.

You say it like this "Oh yeah... potty training... okay now I don't have potty training a young toddler like this built into my fees but I have had a few parents request this additional service. Tell me what method you want me to do". Then the parent tells you to put the kid on the potty every half hour or something crazy like that.. and then you say "Okay... I can do that and that will be an extra 30 dollars a week for the extra one to one time for the pottying and the parent conference time to discuss how it worked every day".

Soon as you throw money into it they will just work on it at home.

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Yep. Money talks, especially in this economy.

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