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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Throwing Toys Over The Gate
Christian Mother 08:13 AM 03-16-2011
I just want to say that each and every one of you are a blessing and a gift to these children. It doesn't really matter what type of childcare/daycare you offer bc you take it upon your self to care for child period. I know that sometimes looking on these forums we start to feel unworthy or jealous of what others are doing to better there care. Look at it as hmmm...maybe I can implement it in my daily routine or hmmm no that wouldn't work for me. Listen, each of you have your own system and it works. Take some advise...or don't... Your parents trust your judgment and what you offer for there children. So don't feel put out or upset bc your all doing such a wonderful job!! Your care givers....Mother's I'd like to say. Sometimes yes...babysitters. But really we are Another Mother to all these children. I say that to my parents and I say in such away that it doesn't offend or make them feel guilty that they aren't there instead. I love being able care for children. I'm truly blessed to be doing what I do...and it's a bonus that I get to be home doing what I love.. It's the gift that God game me. I sometimes would like to run from it...lol!! But...well...you know!!
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QualiTcare 08:24 AM 03-16-2011
Originally Posted by SandeeAR:
I gave up trying to keep the piece, but I feel a lot of this was aimed at me. I have NEVER discredited the ones textbooked trained. That said MANY of the textbook trained, constantly put down those of us who aren't. As for the comment about" MOST people are mothers and no mother wants to consider the fact that someone else might know more than they do about children. it's an ego thing".

It is NOT an ego thing with me. Being a MOTHER is the thing I am MOST proud of in my life! I don't feel I know everything, if I did, I would have NEVER posted ANY thread on the board, asking for ideas. However, there are ppl on this board, that ONLY answer questions and I have NEVER seen them ask a question. Seems as tho, they are the ones with the EGOS that know everything.

Ok, I am now walking away from this thread. I won't post on it again. Do as you will.
actually, i never gave a second thought to your post. that was a direct reply to nannyde's message (and just a general comment) talking about "teaching" and "developmentally appropriate" - i thought that was obvious without quotes, but i guess not. it's very interesting that you feel my comment applies to you.
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nannyde 10:04 AM 03-16-2011
But, really, how difficult of a problem is this. The toys goes over the gate, the child watches it for the rest of the day or however long and then you and the child put it back in its correct spot at the end of the day.

Because I don't want my toys to be dropped and broken and I don't want kids hanging out in a gated off area that is gated off for safety. I don't want kids in that area. I NEED that area to keep them safe.

Can you not see these two basic principles in this decision? Why can't I protect my HARD earned toys so that generation after generation can play with them?

Why can't I have RULES, boundaries, and limitations on space so I can do the best job I know to do to keep a mutlti level aged group kids safe?

Why is THIS little tiny piece of cause and effect learning more important than keeping the kids safe and protecting my equipment?

When you start saying that it's wrong because it's developmentally inappropriate then you have to address the how the developmental appropriateness outweighs the greater good of a safety plan and protecting equipment.

Can you do that?

I think your view of child development is very old school (and I imagine you are proud that it is) and has no basis in research and what we know about how children grow and develop. I am sorry for the children in your care.

I understand research. I've spent THOUSANDS of hours of my career reading research. Give me ANY research in the area of childhood development that you think I'm not getting and I will devour it and report back... with only ONE stipulation... NO poor children research. I've had enough of that for one life time.


And with that, I am signing off these forums.
Well I'm here to learn so teach. This is an excellent forum for you to teach developmentally appropriate which is one of your passions.
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Blackcat31 10:28 AM 03-16-2011
"One test of the correctness of educational procedure is the happiness of the child. ~Maria Montessori
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dEHmom 10:54 AM 03-16-2011
Nannyde...I'm sure you've probably explained this somewhere on this site, maybe I missed it, I'm just curious why you state no poor children research?

I understand often these studies are probably mostly subjected to lower income families. But what is "poor" and why not?


It's not an attack, I am simply curious to your reasoning.

We've always been middle class, but OFTEN middle class (at least here) is the hardest class to be in. I've pondered becoming part of the lower class, and seen how much it would benefit me and my children to do so. Yes I said benefit. The only drawback, I am too proud. I have morals. So I cannot do this.
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jen 11:10 AM 03-16-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
Nannyde...I'm sure you've probably explained this somewhere on this site, maybe I missed it, I'm just curious why you state no poor children research?

I understand often these studies are probably mostly subjected to lower income families. But what is "poor" and why not?


It's not an attack, I am simply curious to your reasoning.

We've always been middle class, but OFTEN middle class (at least here) is the hardest class to be in. I've pondered becoming part of the lower class, and seen how much it would benefit me and my children to do so. Yes I said benefit. The only drawback, I am too proud. I have morals. So I cannot do this.
I know you didn't ask me, but I have a great article on children and poverty that I thought I'd share.

The reason that (I'm guessing) Nan doesn't want studies that include or are based on children living in poverty is because poverty changes everything about a way a child develops...

http://www.epi.umn.edu/mch/resources...ildpoverty.pdf
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dEHmom 11:12 AM 03-16-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
I know you didn't ask me, but I have a great article on children and poverty that I thought I'd share.

The reason that (I'm guessing) Nan doesn't want studies that include or are based on children living in poverty is because poverty changes everything about a way a child develops...

http://www.epi.umn.edu/mch/resources...ildpoverty.pdf
Thanks Jen.

While I can probably guess myself as to some of the reasons as well, I will definitely check that article out.


Just also wondering, Nannyde...do you ask parents their income ? OR do you just know because of the rates you have?
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jen 11:39 AM 03-16-2011
This goes back to some of the earlier posts regarding the individuality of children. Obviously, we do want to respect that, although, I didn't really see anyone suggest otherwise...

Anywhoo...The US is very focused on the individual, other cultures are much less so. We are probably all starting to see a more diverse clientel and as such should really be aware that many of those kids are being raised to respect and consider the rights of the group above their personal wants.

It's interesting that we take the whole "individual" thing to such an extent. I wonder if we don't do it at times to the detriment of the whole.

Sorry, random thought..
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nannyde 11:44 AM 03-16-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
Nannyde...I'm sure you've probably explained this somewhere on this site, maybe I missed it, I'm just curious why you state no poor children research?

I understand often these studies are probably mostly subjected to lower income families. But what is "poor" and why not?


It's not an attack, I am simply curious to your reasoning.

We've always been middle class, but OFTEN middle class (at least here) is the hardest class to be in. I've pondered becoming part of the lower class, and seen how much it would benefit me and my children to do so. Yes I said benefit. The only drawback, I am too proud. I have morals. So I cannot do this.
If you have time read the JoAnne's fabric thread. That will explain it.
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Unregistered 11:45 AM 03-16-2011
This thread took a strange turn!

In regard to toys being thrown over the gate, I don't pick them up. I either leave them there or I put them away. My kids know that they won't get the toy back so they don't throw. I have no problem with them filling and dumping buckets as long as the toys get put away after the kids are done playing with them.

I don't believe that having a formal education means that the educated provider will be better at it. One of the worst daycare providers that I Have ever worked with had a degree in early childhood education. Sure, she knew the textbook stuff but when it was time to apply what she learned, she was terrible at it. She expected children to conform to what she learned in class. On the other hand, the experienced provider isn't necessarily better than the provider with the degree. It's easy to fall into the same routine when you've been doing the same job for so long. Sometimes the enthusiasm that a person once had for their profession dies down. That's were we could all help each other. We all have things that we can learn from each other but that will only happen if we can all put our egos aside and just listen to each other. It doesn't mean that we always have to agree. It just means that it's a good thing to consider other peoples opinions. It's the respectful thing to do.

FWIW, I have formal training and a lot of experience but I still have a lot to learn so I welcome opinions. For those of you who may feel like a lack of formal training makes you less of a provider, stop thinking that way! Not all things can be learned from a book or a class. For those of you who have degrees, don't dismiss the advice of your fellow providers just because you have the education. You could be missing out on a lot of good information.
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dEHmom 11:49 AM 03-16-2011
Thanks, yeah, I think I've read the majority of that thread. I remember reading something like that before now that you've mentioned it.

Funny, twice today that Joannes fabric thread came up, I mentioned it (I put craft store thread), and you mentioned it. lol.
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MaryPoppins 12:18 PM 03-16-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I visit 3 other childcare/pre-school forums and on two of them they have links to this site making fun of the all out word-wars/arguments that go on on this site! Some frequent comments include:
"Check out the rudeness of posters on this site!"
"Read this link (Daycare.com) and see why providers get no respect."
"As a parent, I would be livid if my provider alked like this!"
"I can't believe how full of themselves some of the people on this site are; and they call themselves teachers!!!"
"Most it is on the level of 'My dad can beat up your dad' mentality."

Just thought you guys would want to know! LOL!!!
I'm new here and quite frankly, am not sure this is the forum for me. Could you list the other forums you use that are better? Thanks so much!
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nannyde 02:49 PM 03-16-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
Thanks Jen.

While I can probably guess myself as to some of the reasons as well, I will definitely check that article out.


Just also wondering, Nannyde...do you ask parents their income ? OR do you just know because of the rates you have?
No I don't ask that. I have had some parents I've helped with getting resources for their child so their income comes up in the conversation but not anything to do with coming here.

There are parents that can easily afford it and some who make a conscious decision that they are going to pay it and do without in other areas. These parents do whatever it takes to make it work.
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nannyde 04:41 PM 03-16-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
"DAP" is a marketed product that funds a political organization. I am very familiar.
There is a lot of money in DAP. BELIEVE IT
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Tags:rewarding, toy throwing
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