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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>It Was The Right Thing To Do... Terminate
GretasLittleFriends 08:21 PM 02-12-2011
I had issues with a child in my care. I had put the child on disciplinary notice back in December. The child's behavior improved. The child is school aged and knows right from wrong. I was hoping to be able to keep the child because the child needs normalcy because this is the only place the child receives constant boundaries and consistency. The child has bounced around so much in it's life...

It is with heavy heart that I had to terminate the child. I know I did the right thing because the child was violent against me and my older daughter (teenager). The child was hitting, attempting to bite, kick, as well as verbal outbursts. The child went from behaving wonderfully to beyond out of control within minutes. So I had to call to have the child picked up by the parental figure.

In the termination letter I included the two numbers for our Resource and Referral agency and told her they MAY be able to find someone who can better suit the child's needs.

I did all I could and I know I can't save the world...

I guess it's time to start advertising again.
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juliebug 08:24 PM 02-12-2011
I have had to do it too. big hugs Go enjoy your week with one less kid and know eventually you will find a new child that may work out better. You did what was right
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Kaddidle Care 05:19 AM 02-13-2011
Wow.. that child has serious issues. Did you at any time suggest to his parents that they just might want to have him evaluated?

"The child went from behaving wonderfully to beyond out of control within minutes."

This makes me think he has food allergies/reaction or possibly bi-polar?

There's a fine line between behavior problems and the child not being able to control behaving that way.

As a parent of an ADHD child, I've found that certain foods can trigger reactions and mood swings. My child, while not allergic, reacts to peanut products by becoming more irritable and spacey. The reaction can last 12 hours or better. This was determined by keeping a food diary. It's a pain but worth the effort.

I hope these parents wake up and smell the coffee and get their child the help he needs.
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GretasLittleFriends 05:53 AM 02-13-2011
The child has been evaluated and is in the process of treatment and counseling. The child has "Mood Disorder", "ADHD" "ODD" and "Conduct Disorder". The child was expelled from the public school they attended and has been placed in an alternative learning school where they work specifically with bad behavior. The child was even suspended for a couple of days there because of bad behavior. The whole time the child was improving at my house and said they liked coming here.

The child's mother has a negative alternative lifestyle and I think that may contribute to the way he acts. The child went through withdrawls at birth. The child's father is not a positive role model in the child's life either. Child currently resides with maternal g'ma. Honestly I think she needs counseling or some form of instructional help to help learn to work with the child's issues. She commented a week or two ago that the child's doctor talked about committing the child, and she was completely against it, saying he doesn't need that...
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nannyde 06:46 AM 02-13-2011
Originally Posted by GretasLittleFriends:
The child has been evaluated and is in the process of treatment and counseling. The child has "Mood Disorder", "ADHD" "ODD" and "Conduct Disorder". The child was expelled from the public school they attended and has been placed in an alternative learning school where they work specifically with bad behavior. The child was even suspended for a couple of days there because of bad behavior. The whole time the child was improving at my house and said they liked coming here.

The child's mother has a negative alternative lifestyle and I think that may contribute to the way he acts. The child went through withdrawls at birth. The child's father is not a positive role model in the child's life either. Child currently resides with maternal g'ma. Honestly I think she needs counseling or some form of instructional help to help learn to work with the child's issues. She commented a week or two ago that the child's doctor talked about committing the child, and she was completely against it, saying he doesn't need that...
Well it sounds like Gma needs to have the world crash in around her to see he "needs it".

How long did you have him and in your heart do you believe he has all the psychiatric illnesses he is diagnosed with?

Did you get special needs funding for him from the go? If so, can I ask what the percentage was for it in comparison to your regular rate?

And lastly, since you live in Minnesota I must ask if you get moose meat because if you do I'm going to be really jealous
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mickey2 07:09 AM 02-13-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I must ask if you get moose meat because if you do I'm going to be really jealous
nannyde,

I have to smile at this. We get moose and black bears on our property often there are so many here where I live. We can't go on a road trip without being careful watching for them on the roads. We have gone on trips for 3 hours and seen 6 moose along the way.



When I travel the 15 minutes to go into town (we live in the country) we can see moose and bears walking along the road. We have at times have had bears in our school yards!!

Moose and bear! Lots and lots!


If you like moose meat this is the place to live!

One of my dcds actually has one hanging in his garage right now! Will be bringing to butcher to cut up.

Last week same dcm brought my husband some bear jerky.
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nannyde 07:35 AM 02-13-2011
Originally Posted by Children First:
nannyde,

I have to smile at this. We get moose and black bears on our property often there are so many here where I live. We can't go on a road trip without being careful watching for them on the roads. We have gone on trips for 3 hours and seen 6 moose along the way.



When I travel the 15 minutes to go into town (we live in the country) we can see moose and bears walking along the road. We have at times have had bears in our school yards!!

Moose and bear! Lots and lots!


If you like moose meat this is the place to live!

One of my dcds actually has one hanging in his garage right now! Will be bringing to butcher to cut up.

Last week same dcm brought my husband some bear jerky.


I don't know about eating bear. I would try it though.

I have had moose and caribou and LOVED it. I wish I could get it here. We have wonderful deer and bison here and my Dad gives us antelope and elk but the moose has NOT made an appearance in my freezer.

Looks like Nan needs to make a roadtrip and raid the freezer of Children First.
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Kaddidle Care 08:40 AM 02-13-2011
Originally Posted by GretasLittleFriends:
The child has been evaluated and is in the process of treatment and counseling. The child has "Mood Disorder", "ADHD" "ODD" and "Conduct Disorder".

The child's mother has a negative alternative lifestyle and I think that may contribute to the way he acts. The child went through withdrawls at birth. The child's father is not a positive role model in the child's life either.
Is that all? They forgot TPD. (Terrible Parent Disorder)
I have no doubt that the child also eats a steady diet of hot dogs and nitrates.

Poor kid's life started out bad and it doesn't look like it's getting any better. I can see that you felt sorry for him/her.

Originally Posted by GretasLittleFriends:
Child currently resides with maternal g'ma. Honestly I think she needs counseling or some form of instructional help to help learn to work with the child's issues. She commented a week or two ago that the child's doctor talked about committing the child, and she was completely against it, saying he doesn't need that...
How can she stick her head that far into the sand?

While I too feel bad for the child, you have to keep in mind the health, welfare and safety of the other children in your care. It's a done deal. If the child turned feral on you, imagine what could happen to another child?
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GretasLittleFriends 01:58 PM 02-13-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
How long did you have him and in your heart do you believe he has all the psychiatric illnesses he is diagnosed with?
Honestly to me the child seemed bi-polar or maybe even schizophrenic as I swear there were two totally children... Almost like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Originally Posted by nannyde:
Did you get special needs funding for him from the go? If so, can I ask what the percentage was for it in comparison to your regular rate?
This child came to my care in September when the grandma attained custody of the child. I didn't learn until recently that I could qualify for special needs funding. I have the paperwork here and hadn't sent it in yet. I'm wondering if it's too late, or if I would qualify for any sort of back pay. I don't believe I have the full necessary documentation needed though, and was waiting on it, which was why I hadn't sent it in yet.

Originally Posted by nannyde:
And lastly, since you live in Minnesota I must ask if you get moose meat because if you do I'm going to be really jealous
I ate moose once, but I have no idea how it truly tastes. A daycare grandpa went hunting and got one, and I had some spaghetti hotdish at the daycare mom's house that was made with moose. It was so seasoned that you couldn't really taste the meat, just the seasonings. Don't get me wrong, it was good, but...

I live in what's considered east/central Minnesota. I've been "up north" many times, and honestly have never seen a moose here in MN, well except maybe at the zoo when I was little, but not that I remember. I did see one in a creek out in Yellowstone from a distance, so I don't truly yet have an idea how large these creatures are. I heard their hooves are about the size of dinner plates to help them move through swampy areas (kind of the same idea as snow shoes).

I have eaten lots of things, like elk, venison (deer), bear, pheasant, duck, wild turkey, grouse, rabbit and other small critters. Honestly, I think elk was my favorite.

Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Poor kid's life started out bad and it doesn't look like it's getting any better. I can see that you felt sorry for him/her.

While I too feel bad for the child, you have to keep in mind the health, welfare and safety of the other children in your care. It's a done deal. If the child turned feral on you, imagine what could happen to another child?
It is a done deal, and it was the concern for my infant daughter (9 months), a 7 month infant, and all the other littles I have in my care. Of course, the violence against me, well I was a soldier in the National Guard for 10 years, I have been through worse. But was still inappropriate for this child to behave in such a manner.

Most of all though, I really hope this child gets the help needed, and I also hope and pray that those involved taking care of this child do what is truly in the best interest for the child.
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