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Unregistered 06:37 PM 09-09-2013
Almost 3 year old started coming to my daycare 2 weeks ago. When he first started he wouldn't talk during circle time which is learning our colors, shapes, ABCs, numbers exc. Which is completely normal for any new child. Now that he has warmed up and is a social bee I figured he would start participating in circle time. He didn't so I started working with just him. My husband would entertain the other children in the playroom and I work with him in the living room. After trying this for 3 days, its not that he doesn't want to talk its that he doesn't know any of the answers. The poor kid doesn't know any colors, numbers, shapes, letters exc. I personally have never come across this in 5 years of daycare. I talked to the mother tonight (she is already a difficult parent) and asked her if he knows these things at home. She snapped at me and said that he doesn't know them because the previous daycare provider didn't teach him. She then walked out the door. Is this normal for a child his age? Also how do I get the mother involved??? Besides the educational things he is a great child! He has been here 2 weeks and I already strongly dislike the mother. But that's a huge other story
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Sunchimes 07:08 PM 09-09-2013
Please don't yell at me, but I don't see anything wrong with this. He's 2. It hasn't been that many years since no one expected such things before kindy. The whole point of kindergarten was to teach them those things before they started first grade. I'll go a step further-when I was in college, as far as I know, there were no public school kindergartens. I had the option to get a kindergarten endorsement with my degree and opted for elementary ed instead because kindergartens were private and notoriously low paying. I just don't think it's wrong for a 2 year old to not know these things.

I know I'm in the minority, and I'm open to changing this view with the right persuasion.
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craftymissbeth 07:13 PM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by Sunchimes:
Please don't yell at me, but I don't see anything wrong with this. He's 2. It hasn't been that many years since no one expected such things before kindy. The whole point of kindergarten was to teach them those things before they started first grade. I'll go a step further-when I was in college, as far as I know, there were no public school kindergartens. I had the option to get a kindergarten endorsement with my degree and opted for elementary ed instead because kindergartens were private and notoriously low paying. I just don't think it's wrong for a 2 year old to not know these things.

I know I'm in the minority, and I'm open to changing this view with the right persuasion.


I wholeheartedly agree with all of this.
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MarinaVanessa 07:15 PM 09-09-2013
Although it's great that you are teaching them these things the most important things to teach the children is social and self help skills. The rest they will learn in preschool/kindy .
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Familycare71 07:21 PM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Although it's great that you are teaching them these things the most important things to teach the children is social and self help skills. The rest they will learn in preschool/kindy .

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Angelsj 07:24 PM 09-09-2013
Him not knowing things, I do not find strange or concerning. Like the others, I feel there is time for that, and just being around the other kids at circle time is enough. He will pick things up if you use good language, talk about things often, and read to the kids.

The mother's attitude exemplifies what irritates me to no end about this business. While it is good we do what we can to create a loving, learning environment, the brunt of his education belongs on his PARENT'S lap. Too many parents think everyone else should be responsible. Daycare, preschool, then school. If he wasn't learning at his daycare, what was SHE doing at that point? Sigh.
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cheerfuldom 07:25 PM 09-09-2013
I see both sides of it.

I dont "teach" these things as in, I dont sit down with the kids and learn by memorization and worksheets and structured school environment.

HOWEVER, by almost 3 years old, I am shocked that this child has not picked up anything thru play. Kids are like sponges. If you are providing an engaging environment, talking to them, singing, having plenty of free play, they normally pick up counting to 10, basic colors and shapes, the ABC song. It makes me wonder what his mom and this other daycare provider were doing with him all day. Even watching "educational TV" (which I am not a huge fan of), kids will pick up some of the basics.

I dont teach my 2 year old anything. She is 28 months and can count to 10, knows basic colors and shapes and can sing most of her letters and could certainly participate in a circle time. Most of the 2 year olds I have had could participate at least a little.

I would just keep working with this little guy OP since you do have an emphasis on learning at your daycare. There is no need to involve mom at this point as she is not receptive to the discussion and you dont need to further damage the relationship by pushing academics with a not quite 3 year old.

but I do understand your concern!
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Leigh 08:33 PM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by Sunchimes:
Please don't yell at me, but I don't see anything wrong with this. He's 2. It hasn't been that many years since no one expected such things before kindy. The whole point of kindergarten was to teach them those things before they started first grade. I'll go a step further-when I was in college, as far as I know, there were no public school kindergartens. I had the option to get a kindergarten endorsement with my degree and opted for elementary ed instead because kindergartens were private and notoriously low paying. I just don't think it's wrong for a 2 year old to not know these things.

I know I'm in the minority, and I'm open to changing this view with the right persuasion.
I agree. The only thing I see wrong here is that the mother expects the daycare to do what I consider the job of the parent...I stay home because I didn't want someone else to be the one to get to teach ABC's and colors and numbers and see all the important milestones before me! It's great that the kids can learn this at daycare (and I teach these things to my kids, too through reading and song and play), but the ultimate responsibility is on the parent. Wonder why Mom didn't bother to work on this at home if it was so important to her.
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preschoolteacher 08:41 PM 09-09-2013
These are things children should know by the time they enter kindergarten. He has plenty of time. Personally, I think learning things like social skills, problem solving, and self help skills are MUCH more important at 2, 3, and 4 than learning shapes, numbers, and letters.

Sounds like this kid did not have a daycare provider before you who wanted to work with him on these things. His mom also sounds like one of the people who believe that "teaching is for teachers"--some parents truly think that learning happens at school and not at home.

He's lucky to have you to work with him--but I wouldn't stress! There are so many things to learn when you are 2. Personally, I don't know many adults who have yet to learn their ABCs... but I DO know plenty of adults who can't wait their turn, use nice words, or solve their own problems Don't forget to teach these things too!
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Cradle2crayons 09:30 PM 09-09-2013
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher:

He's lucky to have you to work with him--but I wouldn't stress! There are so many things to learn when you are 2. Personally, I don't know many adults who have yet to learn their ABCs... but I DO know plenty of adults who can't wait their turn, use nice words, or solve their own problems Don't forget to teach these things too!


Children have plenty of time to learn colors, numbers, shapes etc.

It does concern me that mom is reacting that way. However, I doubt mom is going to change.

At 3 years old, I would much rather (if I had to pick), that my children learn compassion, patience, understanding for others, social skills, independence, self esteem, etc than the first number, letter etc. because when they do get to school they only teach academics and none of the other important stuff.

I will also agree though that it is a little u common that a 3 year old hasn't picked up on at of that through play and interaction with others. I don't do lots of official worksheet type learning, but I find that learning through play provides all the numbers, colors, shapes etc for the most part by that age.
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JoseyJo 09:45 PM 09-09-2013
I am on the other side of the fence on this. Children start w/ us at 18 months, and by 3 they usually know their colors, some shapes, can count to 10, some of their letters, and can write a few letters of their name.

When they join us later often they don't know this much, but they still know something! At least a few colors, shapes or numbers.

My own children did not go to preschool, and I didn't run a daycare when they were little. They learned by interacting w/ me and hubby- singing songs in the car, talking throughout the day, stories at bedtime, etc.

When parents interact w/ their children on a regular basis children naturally pick up colors (bring me the blue ball, Johnny), numbers (take 2 crackers please), letters (Look! That word starts with J, just like the J in Johnny!) and shapes (That drawing is like a circle!)

The parents who can't be bothered to teach their child even 1 color or shape by almost 3 are also usually the ones who dope and drop because they can't miss work for their child's wellbeing, don't bring in supplies when needed, drop off early and pick up late. The parent doesn't put any priority on spending quality time with their child. That type of parenting is just not a good fit for us!
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Shell 04:52 AM 09-10-2013
Originally Posted by JoseyJo:
I am on the other side of the fence on this. Children start w/ us at 18 months, and by 3 they usually know their colors, some shapes, can count to 10, some of their letters, and can write a few letters of their name.

When they join us later often they don't know this much, but they still know something! At least a few colors, shapes or numbers.

My own children did not go to preschool, and I didn't run a daycare when they were little. They learned by interacting w/ me and hubby- singing songs in the car, talking throughout the day, stories at bedtime, etc.

When parents interact w/ their children on a regular basis children naturally pick up colors (bring me the blue ball, Johnny), numbers (take 2 crackers please), letters (Look! That word starts with J, just like the J in Johnny!) and shapes (That drawing is like a circle!)

The parents who can't be bothered to teach their child even 1 color or shape by almost 3 are also usually the ones who dope and drop because they can't miss work for their child's wellbeing, don't bring in supplies when needed, drop off early and pick up late. The parent doesn't put any priority on spending quality time with their child. That type of parenting is just not a good fit for us!

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Nebula 05:11 AM 09-10-2013
We have an emphasis on education as well, but we focus on social skills. Manners, and learning how to behave. ( I make kids cry alot lol) because I don't put up with not picking up toys and not minding, they mind- or there are consequences. So basically, a lot of what we do is spent teaching them how not to be incorrigable brats in society. I know all too many adults who don't know how to "be nice" and use "kind words" take turns, or share.........
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MotherNature 06:09 AM 09-10-2013
Originally Posted by Angelsj:
Him not knowing things, I do not find strange or concerning. Like the others, I feel there is time for that, and just being around the other kids at circle time is enough. He will pick things up if you use good language, talk about things often, and read to the kids.

The mother's attitude exemplifies what irritates me to no end about this business. While it is good we do what we can to create a loving, learning environment, the brunt of his education belongs on his PARENT'S lap. Too many parents think everyone else should be responsible. Daycare, preschool, then school. If he wasn't learning at his daycare, what was SHE doing at that point? Sigh.

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countrymom 07:18 AM 09-10-2013
I think knowing some basic colors or shapes is normal. I think the problem is the mother. she wants everyone else to do her job and when it doesn't work she blames someone. funny how she blamed the other provider right away, I'm wondering if someone has said something to her before about her child not knowing these things. Do you know the other provider, maybe give them a call.
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Angelsj 01:18 PM 09-10-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Even watching "educational TV" (which I am not a huge fan of), kids will pick up some of the basics.
Actually, I have seen this over and over again. They actually do NOT pick it up IF educational TV is all they see. It's like it doesn't click until they hear/see real people talking about it.
And to be honest, if this is the reaction you are getting from mom, he likely hasn't seen much educational TV either. Probably only watches what his parents are watching.
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Tags:milestones, parent - cant handle truth
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