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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Ugh. Can't Respect An Unkind Word To My Kid
Unregistered 07:04 AM 08-05-2011
I am a registered member. Just logged out for this I have a parent that likes to tell the other kids when they are being naughty. They also comment to muy own child "you're not nice". For me I hate that. I don't tell kids they are mean. I WILL say that the action is mean. But I don't direct it right to their person. Just irritated. Great family---really. It's just bugging me today and I strongly believe children are what you tell them they are. That's why it bothers me they said it.

Like i said, just needed to vent. Thanks for listening
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Crystal 07:12 AM 08-05-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I am a registered member. Just logged out for this I have a parent that likes to tell the other kids when they are being naughty. They also comment to muy own child "you're not nice". For me I hate that. I don't tell kids they are mean. I WILL say that the action is mean. But I don't direct it right to their person. Just irritated. Great family---really. It's just bugging me today and I strongly believe children are what you tell them they are. That's why it bothers me they said it.

Like i said, just needed to vent. Thanks for listening
Turn it around. When the parent says "you're not nice" You say to her/him "You know what? You're not nice. NIce people do not talk to children like that"

I also would not allow them to correct the children in my care. I would politely correct the PARENT and let him/her know that it is not thier place to do so and ask them if they would like for me to allow other parents to correct THEIR child.
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Cat Herder 07:24 AM 08-05-2011
That is one of the reasons I don't allow parents access to other children in my group.

All it takes is one person saying something really hurtful to mess up all the constructive things the child has learned all week.

The "Mama Bear" targeting other children they feel somehow slighted their child is one of my WORST pet peeves with "Parental Access".

I am the "Mama Bear" in my house....Leave my cubs alone if you have nothing nice to add....
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sharlan 07:25 AM 08-05-2011
Take a step back and look............is your child ill behaved? Is your child an obnoxious brat that needs discipline? IF the answer is yes, then focus on teaching your child manners. IF the answer is no, which it probably is, then focus on the parent and remind them that YOU are the one to discipline in your home and you would appreciate the parent direct all comments to you, not the children.
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Kaddidle Care 08:17 AM 08-05-2011
Time for a little PowWow with that parent. Let them know they are crossing a line in your home and that when she is there it's YOU that's in charge and that you would appreciate her respecting that fact. Sort of a "That's my job, not yours" thing.

She may be a Teacher or Scout leader and sometimes it comes out automatically. Although I would hope a Teacher would say "That's not nice" not "You're not nice".
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Tags:discipline - positive, inappropriate talk, parent - with attitude, provider - own child
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