This is frustrating and I just need some advice from the experienced people. I have a home daycare and thanks God I'm full, but lately I just had issues with some of my dcp.
I have a dcm that call every week on the days her husband is off and says the same thing "we were not planning on bringing ******** but I have something to do and I'm heading your way! This is fine she pays for the spot, the problem is that it is always done around my lunch time. Today I called her back and told her to please feed her daughter before drooping her off. Her response was a little sarcastic " wow I guess that's an early lunch that's ok I will brink some McDonalds for her to eat". I was like "no" have her eat the food on the way here because the other children will probably want to have McDonalds too .
I also have another mom I know she is worried about her work all the time but the other day she brought her daughter and the first think she said is that the girl has diarrhea. I told her not to sign in and take the girl with her because is crystal clear in my contract no vomit no diarrhea. Her response was that children sometimes have diarrhea due to food poisoning which I agree, now I worked in pediatrics for years and I'm a nurse there is a difference between having a soft stool and diarrhea. I was embarrassed because I know she does not have back up care but this is not the first time.

I don't know how strict I should be when it comes to following policies and contract. Parents just think you work for them and you have to babysit their child and give them priority. I have been flexible in the past and it did not paid off, instead I ended up providing childcare for free for a month, getting my 3 children and my husband sick and at the end I have one of those parents telling me how good was the daycare her friend takes her children to. I'm pissed and frustrated it feels like when people go to Winn Dixie and say that Publix is better. ( but reality is they don't go to Publix because they can afford it)

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1. In your shoes I would initiate an arrival cut off time. Mine is set with morning snack as we transition to circle time/crafts/curriculum from then... It is too disruptive so I don't allow it. Also, Toughen up the "no food/no toys" section. Makes life much easier...

2. Print off copies of the CDC childcare exclusion charts, give each parent a hard copy. They will then all be "aware" of the rules and no longer able to guilt you since you won't feel like they may not have known... Keep a few handy, hand them one as you send them back home "in case they lost theirs". Rinse/repeat.

3. Don't make exceptions, they are only special exceptions to you. Daycare is a business, not a charity. Every time they ask for special you should feel they are disrespecting you and your agreed to policies, not guilt.

***Change your thought patterns. I know it is hard when dealing with kids. Remember no matter how well you treat them, you are one adult bad mood from being cut out of their lives.. Put your family's needs first, always.

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I still haven't opened my daycare yet (hopefully by this fall!) But I totally understand the trying to be flexible and it biting you in the tookhus. I used to watch a 9 year old almost everyday (weekends, nights, and even overnight often) for only a flat rate of $150 a week for full time and wound up spending more money just trying to feed her regular meals. The whole arrangement only lasted about 4-5 months, The mom stopped paying me regularly and at one point was 2 weeks late until I called her on it (was too afraid). Also I felt bad for her not only because she was a single mom but because she also was missing most of her fingers/toes and had burns all over her face and body (never found out how). The last two weeks the girl came 1 day each week and the mom and I agreed in the beginning that no matter how little she need my services that the minimum would be at least $130 a week and she never paid me for those last two weeks (I was even willing to just settle for one week pay) and stopped calling after that. A few weeks later I found out that she moved back to Sacramento (so she basically skipped town), that was all 2 years ago. My mom just recently told me that once when she took a cab home from the grocery store, the driver remembered the address and asked her if her daughter (me) used to babysit a little girl who would get dropped of by a Taxi, she said 'yes' and the driver told my mom the little girl's mom never paid for the taxi services and left owing over $300. So sometimes its a combo of being to flexible and having clients that just like to take advantage of people.

In a way, I'm kind of glad it happened (especially before I started my business) because It showed me how important it was to have a contract, boundaries, and a back bone. It's also helped me to see that you got to stick to your guns or you will get burned.

For the first mom, I would start a new rule (if you don't have it already) that there will be no drop offs at snack/meal times (breakfast might be different) and that all children arriving after a meal need to be fed before arriving. No outside food is allowed in the daycare home (unless given approval by DCP due to a medical condition or special diet). And that curtain foods are NEVER allowed (Soda, candy, McDonalds). Also do you do contract hours? Is that one of her regular days? If not, then do you charge a 'drop in' rate for a day that she is not normally there (most providers charge an additional fee for any overtime or extra care out of regular contract hours).

For the second mom, do you have something in your contract about having back up care in case the child is sick or you have a day off? While on your days off you can hire a sub, they need back up care in case the child gets sick (most providers put "it's ultimately the parents responsibility to provide back up care if their child is too sick for daycare"). Also, them talking about how much better they like the other daycare is their way of trying to manipulate (and even challenge) you so that you will do what they want. If they really wanted to go there they would have by now (and as you mentioned maybe she couldn't afford it) but as long as you let them walk all over you, they will keep doing it and wont respect you until you respect yourself by standing your ground.

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Diarrhea and vomit are two things I just don't allow. Period. No one should. Imagine when you have had diarrhea, you didn't feel all that great and just want to lay low. Not to mention the mess it makes... Then how do you clean AND keep kids from exposure and such. I had one boy who came with diarrhea and within the 30 min it took to get to my house he had 3 more diapers! Just pure liquid. Thank God my dh was home that day and watched the other 2 kids while I bathed him, diapered him & clothed him and cleaned up the mess! It was awful! Then we had vomiting one day... 2 yr old vomits on himself while playing getting it on his jammies, my floor, someone knelt in it... Ugh!! A mess! 2 kids went home that day. Fevers are bad too! My DCB ended up with a fever and I let him nap and then had mom get him and the next week my DS had a fever of 104.8! Ugh!! It's just not worth it! Parents don't get what we have to do when someone is sick here! Extra cleanup, extra sanitizing, extra hand washing of everyone... It's just way more work. I agree with printing off a CDC form about contagious illness and when to stay home!

The late drop off, I would just say before 11 (to stay for lunch and nap) or after 12 having already eaten lunch. Period. I don't mind doing half days for clients because I still charge a full day and they usually come for lunch and then nap right away as well. But I do have them drop off before 11 so they can have lunch and nap.

Your rules are for the benefit of EVERYONE, not to hurt or anger people. Imagine how mad she'd be if you accept her and say "oh yeah I had it Sunday and the Johnny had it 2 days ago and then Susie got it yesterday and now your Sweet Pea has it!" Ewww gross! I hate having to tell ANY parents their child has been exposed to something. It makes me cringe.

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I do have all of that very clearly explained in my contract and handbook. They also receive this info when they tour for the first time and they agreed to it. What pissed me off is that they just show up and try to push my policies like is something new they never herd off and off course when you stop them then you are the bad guy.

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In this business you HAVE to be the bad guy or you'll get walked on.

Plus, WHO exactly are you concerned about thinking you are the bad guy? The parents?
Who cares....they are already being disrespectful and rude to you by not following your policies. YOU should be the one upset not them.

As far as illness goes..... I exclude for symptoms NOT illnesses. The next time someone tries to tell you they got diarrhea due to food poisoning, just tell them when the food poisoning side effects are gone, they can return.

I used to buy all sorts of reasons why a kid had symptoms...up too late, teething, ate something weird, busy weekend, faking it etc etc...it always turned into something worse so I just started approaching the whole illness thing from another angle and explain VERY clearly that I exclude for symptoms NOT actual illnesses.

So if Little Johnny has an upset tummy because he ate a bad sea food salad, that sucks but he still can't come to daycare until the tummy is back to normal.

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