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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Feel Judged By My DCP's For THEIR Skinny Kids
SunshineMama 08:11 AM 04-05-2012
Do any of you feel judged by your dcp's for thir kids eatin habits?

I'm so fed up with my dck's eating habits.

This is what I made for lunch today for the kids (ages 1,1,3,3, and 4)

Homemade Organic Chicken and Veggie Nuggets
Homemade Organic Sweet Potato Fries
Mango
Organic Avocado
Yogurt

The only things they ate were a few bites of chicken nuggets and the yogurt. I serve a wide variety of foods everyday and I feel like it is always wasted. My dd's ate everything of course, and wanted more. I am an aweome cook, btw

What is wrong with these kids? I have to almost make some of them eat bananas! What kid doesnt like bananas? All of the dck's are skinny and the parents of 2 of them have made comments to me, asking if they are eating well, etc bc they are so skinny. I serve 2 snacks and lunch- I cant make them eat.

I hate feeling judged by the parents, and frankly, I blame them for pawning off their kid's total nutrition on me. They are welcome to introduce them to healthy foods for breakfast and dinner instead of boxed waffles, doughnuts, and corn (the only veggie they eat).
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countrymom 08:18 AM 04-05-2012
I have kids who are picky, but I was told last week to not let dcg eat too much food because she is getting chunky (she's not, she is tall and lean) I will let you know that none of my kids would eat what you made, and I have some really good eaters. I find that I always add something that I know that they would eat.
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Breezy 08:20 AM 04-05-2012
Mmmmm sounds so yummy! It irritates me to no end that children refuse to eat healthy foods! What they think is good is not food!!
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littlemissmuffet 08:26 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
Do any of you feel judged by your dcp's for thir kids eatin habits?
Nope. It's my job to make and serve healthy nutritious meals and it's the DCKs job to eat it. If they don't, it's not my problem. When parents mention anything about their child's weight or the foods I'm cooking, or even have the audacity to suggest I serve GARBAGE I simply reply by letting them know I teach children the importance of eating healthy well-balanced diets - "and I recommend you do the same at home if you aren't already"... and I just walk away. I am not these children's mother, and my parents don't have any kind of say in what I do/don't do in my daycare. I don't do guilt. There are plenty of daycares in my area that serve junk and they charge much less than I do - don't let the door hit you on the way out
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Blackcat31 08:32 AM 04-05-2012
My parents would never judge me for that as I guarantee that ALL my DCK's eat far better here than they do at home.

I hear "Oh, they won't eat that at home so why do they eat it at your house?" so often that I wonder if there is more to it than just the food itself.

Either way, I would never let parents make me feel bad that their child is skinny or not eating much. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
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SunshineMama 08:34 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
Nope. It's my job to make and serve healthy nutritious meals and it's the DCKs job to eat it. If they don't, it's not my problem. When parents mention anything about their child's weight or the foods I'm cooking, or even have the audacity to suggest I serve GARBAGE I simply reply by letting them know I teach children the importance of eating healthy well-balanced diets - "and I recommend you do the same at home if you aren't already"... and I just walk away. I am not these children's mother, and my parents don't have any kind of say in what I do/don't do in my daycare. I don't do guilt. There are plenty of daycares in my area that serve junk and they charge much less than I do - don't let the door hit you on the way out
I write down daily logs for these parents, even the older ones, about what they eat, so the parents are aware of what I serve. I dont like the judgment from them I suppose I could just brush my shoulders off. It is very frustrating to work so hard and then not even feel appreciated.

Maybe I should just serve whole milk and goldfish all day. Then they would have nice round chunky kids. (j/k obviously)
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littlemissmuffet 08:40 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
I write down daily logs for these parents, even the older ones, about what they eat, so the parents are aware of what I serve. I dont like the judgment from them I suppose I could just brush my shoulders off. It is very frustrating to work so hard and then not even feel appreciated.

Maybe I should just serve whole milk and goldfish all day. Then they would have nice round chunky kids. (j/k obviously)
I don't let parents pass judgement on me. Quite simply, I am with most of these children more often than their own parents - and I make it VERY clear that I do not put up with rude behaviour. I do more than enough for these families as is, I am not about to tolerate being treated without respect. For the most part, my current families are extremely appreciative and aware of all the good hard work I put into their children... those who don't, don't get to stay

Put your foot down and tell these people that you don't appreciate the condesending behaviour and if they want a daycare that serves crap to go and find one. Anyone who leaves is not someone you want as a client, I promise.
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B Lou 08:41 AM 04-05-2012
Welcome to daycare. We are the most unappreciated job in the world. If you feel that your dcp are judging you, you need to just get over it. If you know your doing your job and you do it well then it's their fault not yours.
Not trying to sound rude just trying to give some advice. If our job was easy and appreciated everyone could do it.
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familyschoolcare 08:43 AM 04-05-2012
I sloved this problem in the same way as SunshineMama. I send home a 1/2 sheet (only to the parents that whant it) that has what I offered and how

much they eat. For my very picky child whose parent cmplained that when he came to pick up DCB he was "starving" and could not even make it home to

have dinner, they had to stop and get McD's, I started whritng what child said about not eating, what he did eat form his lunch box, what I said to

encourage him to eat more. When the dad saw that I offered grapes and the child said no thank you themeat his grapes, then when I said DCB you need

to eat something so your tummy is not empty when dad picks you up he said "thats ok when dad picks me up we go get chicken nuggets I will just

eat that; The dad stopped talking to me about why DCB is hungery at pick up. Child still does not eat very much at snack and I think is still being taken

to get chicken muggets about 30% of the time that dad picks up. However, I do not get the talk about how DCB is starving at pick up.
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Live and Learn 08:43 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
Nope. It's my job to make and serve healthy nutritious meals and it's the DCKs job to eat it. If they don't, it's not my problem. When parents mention anything about their child's weight or the foods I'm cooking, or even have the audacity to suggest I serve GARBAGE I simply reply by letting them know I teach children the importance of eating healthy well-balanced diets - "and I recommend you do the same at home if you aren't already"... and I just walk away. I am not these children's mother, and my parents don't have any kind of say in what I do/don't do in my daycare. I don't do guilt. There are plenty of daycares in my area that serve junk and they charge much less than I do - don't let the door hit you on the way out
Absolutely and totally agree. You can lead a horse to water but you can not make it drink.

Parents feed the crappy foods at home out of laziness because at the end of the day they don't want to hear their kids whine.

Try not to let heir little comments bother you.
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MarinaVanessa 08:45 AM 04-05-2012
Can I be one of your DC kids???

Sounds yummy. But I wouldn't worry too much about what the parents are thinking when it comes to eating. There's not too much you can do anyway. You serve your meals and they choose to eat it or not. Most of the time my DC kids don't want to try something because they're not used to eating it at home. That's what happens here at my DC and there's no way that I'm serving corn dogs, chicken nuggets and hot dogs everyday.

NONE of my DC kids have ever liked vegetables when they first start coming here but we do The Two Bite Club which is where they have to have at least two bites of everything on their plate and then they can eat the rest of it or not. After a few times they'll come around. All of my DC kids now like celery, avocado, carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, green peppers, raddishes and salads. They still don't like broccoli, go figure, but we're working on it .
I wouldn't worry too much about it.
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JenNJ 09:00 AM 04-05-2012
I have 2 girls (age 3) who also play the starving card at pickup. Turns out that both moms give the girls snacks while they cook dinner. Snacks are Goldfish, granola bars, chips, etc. I asked both moms to take a week off supper snacks and we would see what happened. Imagine their surprise when the kids were no longer starved while they made dinner.

Kids are very bright. They know that parents won't ignore cries of hunger. They know that unwrapping a granola bar is easy for mom so they whine and tantrum until they get that granola bar. Once parents consistently say, "Wait for supper," the whining stops.
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cheerfuldom 09:43 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
I write down daily logs for these parents, even the older ones, about what they eat, so the parents are aware of what I serve. I dont like the judgment from them I suppose I could just brush my shoulders off. It is very frustrating to work so hard and then not even feel appreciated.

Maybe I should just serve whole milk and goldfish all day. Then they would have nice round chunky kids. (j/k obviously)
I thought your meal selection sounded divine!

But another thought is that if you need appreciation to continue with a job, then daycare is absolutely the wrong job for you. its important that you gain that confidence in your job outside of parents fickly and sometimes disrespectful behavior.
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SunshineMama 09:51 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I thought your meal selection sounded divine!

But another thought is that if you need appreciation to continue with a job, then daycare is absolutely the wrong job for you. its important that you gain that confidence in your job outside of parents fickly and sometimes disrespectful behavior.
You're right- daycare is not for those who need to feel appreciated!
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wdmmom 09:51 AM 04-05-2012
I have some pretty good eaters on my hands. They'll eat or at least try just about anything I make. About the only thing I have found is that NONE of them like mashed potatoes!

Of course, I have no idea what they eat at home but I know there are several parents that do drive thru's, pizza and subway often.

I've got one 2.5 year old. When he's picked up by his DCM, every night he will say, "I want chicken nuggets and french fries." Go figure!!!
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SunshineMama 09:56 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
I have some pretty good eaters on my hands. They'll eat or at least try just about anything I make. About the only thing I have found is that NONE of them like mashed potatoes!

Of course, I have no idea what they eat at home but I know there are several parents that do drive thru's, pizza and subway often.

I've got one 2.5 year old. When he's picked up by his DCM, every night he will say, "I want chicken nuggets and french fries." Go figure!!!
I started making my own chicken nuggets after I saw how they were made.

Youtube "Meat deboner" and watch how they are made. I guarantee you wont eat them ever again.
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Country Kids 10:02 AM 04-05-2012
Its just not the little ones with the eating.

I many years ago had a summer assistant that ate snack and lunch with us. An older teenager that did eat whatever I served. At the end of the summer they did say "I have never eaten that much healthy food in my life". I was shocked because it was just everyday food for my family.
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My3cents 10:15 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I thought your meal selection sounded divine!

But another thought is that if you need appreciation to continue with a job, then daycare is absolutely the wrong job for you. its important that you gain that confidence in your job outside of parents fickly and sometimes disrespectful behavior.
need a like button

can you list some things you do to gain that confidence in your job outside of parents behaviors? I think it would be helpful and reflective to many-
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My3cents 10:21 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
I have some pretty good eaters on my hands. They'll eat or at least try just about anything I make. About the only thing I have found is that NONE of them like mashed potatoes!

Of course, I have no idea what they eat at home but I know there are several parents that do drive thru's, pizza and subway often.

I've got one 2.5 year old. When he's picked up by his DCM, every night he will say, "I want chicken nuggets and french fries." Go figure!!!
this got me to thinking.......during the week we eat healthy and home cooked meals.......but come the weekend.......no one wants to cook as much and we don't eat as healthy as we do during the week. We do the fast food more then we do during the week. We don't during the week, unless a girls night out or something out of the norm. During the week I am home, on the weekends its errands and go go go.. I hate MCD's but I got a family that loves it........ugh. I usually go for the salad that taste like the rest of the joint.....anywhooooo
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MrsB 10:53 AM 04-05-2012
This is one of my main issues that I highlight during the interview process, and the sick policy.

I always say, I choose what goes on the kids plates they choose what to eat off of it. If kids are hungry they will eat it. I tell parents if they are willing to feed them mcdonalds or whatever else that the kids prefer when they get home from daycare then alot of times they will not eat here and wait until they are given their prefered food at home. Up to the parents to decide how they handle the issue. I reiterate that picky eating is a behavior issue.

I dont go out of my way to cook foods I know they wont eat though too. But most of my kids end up eating something here that they have never tried before. I get emails and texts from parents alot saying how do you serve your *** or how do you make your ******. DCB just raved about it.

I think I read in a food class I took one time. It takes 10 separate occasions of trying something before a child knows that they really dont like something.

Just for the record. I dont like eating bananas either. I love me some banana bread or muffins though! I still will take a bite or 2 one of every once in awhile thinking maybe this time I will like it.
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WImom 10:57 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
Do any of you feel judged by your dcp's for thir kids eatin habits?

I'm so fed up with my dck's eating habits.

This is what I made for lunch today for the kids (ages 1,1,3,3, and 4)

Homemade Organic Chicken and Veggie Nuggets
Homemade Organic Sweet Potato Fries
Mango
Organic Avocado
Yogurt

The only things they ate were a few bites of chicken nuggets and the yogurt. I serve a wide variety of foods everyday and I feel like it is always wasted. My dd's ate everything of course, and wanted more. I am an aweome cook, btw

What is wrong with these kids? I have to almost make some of them eat bananas! What kid doesnt like bananas? All of the dck's are skinny and the parents of 2 of them have made comments to me, asking if they are eating well, etc bc they are so skinny. I serve 2 snacks and lunch- I cant make them eat.

I hate feeling judged by the parents, and frankly, I blame them for pawning off their kid's total nutrition on me. They are welcome to introduce them to healthy foods for breakfast and dinner instead of boxed waffles, doughnuts, and corn (the only veggie they eat).
This is why I don't feed organic to my dc kids, only my family. I can't stand the amount of veggies, milk, etc that I throw out daily that buying organic would really bug me.
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SunshineMama 11:07 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by WImom:
This is why I don't feed organic to my dc kids, only my family. I can't stand the amount of veggies, milk, etc that I throw out daily that buying organic would really bug me.
I get that 100%! My problem is that my kids want what everyone else has, so I would literally have to prepare the same meal twice so everyone has the same. I try to give the dck's bigger portions of things I know they like (mac and cheese, for ex), so they eat, and I give my kids more fruits and veggies and a smaller mac and cheese portion. It is so frustrating! Especially when older dd(3.5) counts how many she has and compares it to everyone else's.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:09 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
I get that 100%! My problem is that my kids want what everyone else has, so I would literally have to prepare the same meal twice so everyone has the same. I try to give the dck's bigger portions of things I know they like (mac and cheese, for ex), so they eat, and I give my kids more fruits and veggies and a smaller mac and cheese portion. It is so frustrating! Especially when older dd(3.5) counts how many she has and compares it to everyone else's.
Cut her portion into small pieces so it still has "lots" when she goes to count.
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SunshineMama 11:21 AM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by LCLC:
Cut her portion into small pieces so it still has "lots" when she goes to count.

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Bkind 11:33 AM 04-05-2012
we have to remember kids have many thousands more taste buds on their little tugs then we do. this is why they often prefer bland foods. as for us we put the food in front of them if they want to eat then it there. we always serve 3 to 4 items at meal time so there is at least one thing everyone should like and if you want more of that and only eat that fine with me. however we do try to serve foods they like b/c when they don't eat well, nap time is a bust then no one is happy. besides most of america kids r over weight so parent should be happy they don't have a child that falls in that category.
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Babybear911 01:20 PM 04-05-2012
Have all dcp pack the dcb lunches! I don't make anything for the kids except snacks (sliced apples, cheese, crackers ect... ) lunch is all packed in the dcb lunch bags and I unzip and open containers for kids.

After lunch, all garbage and left overs go back into the dcb lunch bag to be cleaned and removed in their homes. give it a whirl!

Bet you will not make lunches for your daycare ever again.

Ps...I use to make lunches and found all the kids had different needs/likes and it was just too much work to make something for everyone. Providing snacks is a lot easier and cheaper! Good luck!
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Unregistered 12:13 PM 04-26-2012
I have the same problem...I thought all kids liked bananas but I have several that will not eat anything but something in the bread food group....which I dont think should be the main thing in a childs diet.. I have even had parents tell me that they only buy healthy snack like fiber one bars...lol Its a glorified candy bar!!!!! none of my parents have ever said anything unless I make a comment about them not eating well..sorry U feel judged. All you can do is put it in front of them..
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WImom 12:52 PM 04-26-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
I get that 100%! My problem is that my kids want what everyone else has, so I would literally have to prepare the same meal twice so everyone has the same. I try to give the dck's bigger portions of things I know they like (mac and cheese, for ex), so they eat, and I give my kids more fruits and veggies and a smaller mac and cheese portion. It is so frustrating! Especially when older dd(3.5) counts how many she has and compares it to everyone else's.
Mine are school aged so it's easier. I can totally see it would be harder if your own are home with you. When my kids are off I have them sit in another room so they can eat seperate stuff but it is harder since I have to make 2 things.
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Ariana 02:50 PM 04-26-2012
Could you ask the parents to give you a list of the kids favorite meals and foods? Perhaps you could work some of them into your lunches somehow?

I did this and came up with healthy alternatives that the kid would eat. She loves sausage so I buy sugarless sausages and she eats them up. I also make wonderful smoothies with a ton of healthy stuff in there and I buy low sodium organic soup that they like etc. I find there is a healty alternative for everything.
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Hunni Bee 04:53 PM 04-26-2012
Do any of you serve family style?

I didn't like to do it because I was always worried about them putting their little fingers in the food while they serve themselves. And they do! I just make sure everybody washes hands real good beforehand

But, anyway, I've noticed they eat like 200% more when they serve themselves.

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Country Kids 04:56 PM 04-26-2012
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
Do any of you serve family style?

I didn't like to do it because I was always worried about them putting their little fingers in the food while they serve themselves. And they do! I just make sure everybody washes hands real good beforehand

But, anyway, I've noticed they eat like 200% more when they serve themselves.
I'm more afraid of them sneezing/coughing in it and contaminating everything! I'm actually suprised we can serve it that way due to that.
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Hunni Bee 05:04 PM 04-26-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
I'm more afraid of them sneezing/coughing in it and contaminating everything! I'm actually suprised we can serve it that way due to that.
That's what I was thinking, but they cough and sneeze all over each other anyway. I hover over them like a mother hawk while they do it, though
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