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mainemomma 10:50 AM 06-08-2010
New here...sorry if this has been discussed before...

Do any of you care for a special needs child?

I care for a 7 year old autistic boy with a gluten allergy. I have had some problems with him lately and would love to chat with someone that may be going through the same things.

I must say I am honeslty not looking forward to this summer and the challenges ahead with him
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safechner 11:41 AM 06-08-2010
I know how you feel. Your daycare parents are very lucky to have you because many providers out there wouldn't take autistic kids.

I do not have special kids to care but I do have a 9 year old daughter who is PDD on Autism Spectrum and deaf. I have been going through a lot with her but now she is doing great! Five years ago, I was having a hard time to find home daycare for my daughter when she was 4 years old and other daughter when she was 3 years old (she is normal child). Most of them dont know how to do with my daughter or not be very patient with her. I found a childcare provider who will take her in but she only watch her 45 mins for before/afterschool care. Later on, she wouldnt want to same page with me. One time, I dropped both of my girls off at her house because I have to work since it was bad weather (snow/ice). I just found out my daughter's school is closed due to ice road... I thought she will be okay with my daughter. I was wrong she called me that she wants me to pick her up and I asked her what is the matter. She said she cannot handle her all day but my daughter didnt do anything wrong. She makes any excuse for me to pick her up for no reason. I think she likes to be lazy because my daughter is very active and my other daughter was very quiet that she can handle very easy. I can't get off since my boss wont let me and I asked my husband but he dont want to take off since he have a lot to do at work since we work together at his job. He have no choice to take a day off. Of course, he was PISSED. Anyways, I decided I quit my job to stay home with my girls and start my daycare again.


Do you have any materials to work with him in the summer? It will helps him to calm down and keep him busy. If he is nonverbal so I suggest you to use video to teach him how to use sign language so he can communicate with you what he wants or needs. Check out at www.signingtime.com I was the same thing with my daughter but now she is great and very independent. She doesnt need my help anymore. She looks like she is normal child. If you need my help and I will be very happy to help you what can you do with him or something like that.
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 11:55 AM 06-08-2010
I had a Bipolar girl last year...unfortunetely after 6 months of watching her (and her brother) I had to let them go. It was just too hard for my family and other daycare kids to deal with.

It's sad for the parents with these difficult kids, but often in a family daycare with multiple children, it becomes too hard on the provider to meet their needs AND keep the other kids under control....they see their negative behavior and it rubs off on some of the little ones.
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Unregistered 01:07 PM 06-12-2010
We have a couple children I believe may be special needs, but have not actually been diagnosed. I think the 2 yr old is autistic, and the 3 yr old has Asperger's syndrome. Having a lot of problems with them. If you would like to talk more about this topic, post in reply to this, and I will message you while signed in.
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mainemomma 04:46 PM 06-12-2010
Yes I would love to talk with you! We have come a long way, but this summer brings some new challenges I am not sure how to handle. He had a speech and OT (i think thats what they were called) come last summer for him, but he has now aged out and in 1st grade. Mom is trying to get someone to come in a few days a week to work on specific things with him that I may not know how to correct or have time to do. For example.... Two things.......pooping in his underwear & not caring (he's 6...its really hard to change a 6 year old!!) and he HAS HAS HAS to be 1st at EVERYTHING. If he is not, he gets upset and triggers him into a mad grumpy mood that he just doesn't snap out of. Now, I am not going to give him his way all the time just to avoid the situation, however I dont have enough hands or time to teach him in a way he will understand and follow. Thats just 2 examples....we wont even get into how his 8 year old sister instigates him just to purposely make him mad *sigh*

On the positive side...he is very verbal, speaks in full complete sentences, can express his feelings, knows when he does or doesn't want something, respects me and my rules, NEVER has been physical with any of the daycare kids (well, except his sister), in the last 9 months he went from being in pull upos 100% of the time, to underwear all the time. (the trick with accidents is in his diet, he cant have gluten...however I never know if hes snuck some of his brothers cereal or crackers or toast or whatnot)...he reads at a 6 grade level, VERY smart with his numbers and is 95% of the time a really sweat sweat kid (for me!!! Not for mom)

Anyways....heading to bed so cutting this off....I will look forward to the email!
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safechner 05:43 PM 06-12-2010
That is wonderful to hear about that. My daughter is the same thing and she never hurt any kids in my care but she does hurt a few kids and teachers in school due to lack of communicate. Honest, I dont care if my daughter hurts the teachers because I can understand how my daughter feels. The teachers are not fluent in sign language for past three years. That is why we filed a lawsuit against school district. So far, we won the case back in March 2010 but the school district refused to change anything for my daughter to be in deaf program since the hearing officer orders. Now they wanted to appeal because they think we shouldn't won the case and didnt do anything at all. I think they really are stupid so we are ready to file another lawsuit (section 504) or counterclaim against them.

I wish my daughter would the same as your daycare boy who can read as a 6 grade level. My daughter is on 2nd grade level (spelling, reading, and math) because she is VERY behind since they didnt teach her at all for past three years. I started home-school with her since August of 2010. She catch up a lot when I work with her. She is very smart girl. She finally become potty trained last summer when she was 8 years old when I pulled her out of school. My daughter is not on diet but she eats everything. I do give her fish oil and vitamins daily. She is very sweet girl and every one loves her. Her behavior is wonderful for past one year because she is very happy. She was suffered for past three years and we have been fighting with school situation for a long time....
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fctjc1979 06:56 PM 06-12-2010
to safechner
It's amazing that in today's day-in-age with all the teaching about tolerance that some schools are still clueless with kids they don't think are "normal". Obviously a child with a hearing impairment is going to need someone to assist her in understanding what's going on in the classroom. Good luck with the homeschooling. I hope it really goes well for you and your daughter.
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fctjc1979 07:05 PM 06-12-2010
To mainemomma,
Most kids, special needs or not, respond well when things are put into context with the things they love best. Maybe on a day when there aren't too many others around you could sit and chit chat with him one on one and really discover his interests. Once you know what his interests are, you can start thinking of creative ways to keep him engaged with what the group is doing with those interests. For instance, the daycare center I sent my daughter to had a special needs boy that was really into dinosaurs. He had a hard time lining up with the rest of the class to move from inside to outside a back again so one of the teachers started telling him to line up with all the other dinosaurs. She would ask him what kind of dinosaur he was being today. Obviously, that won't work with every kid. I'm not entirely sure why it worked with him other than the fact that she was showing interest in his interest and maybe distracting from the fact that he was in line. Hope this helps.
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Former Teacher 07:12 PM 06-12-2010
Originally Posted by safechner:
The teachers are not fluent in sign language for past three years.
What's is even sadder is that there are some school districts who REQUIRE that their teachers learn SPANISH because of all the illegals and children here who can't speak English. In a ENGLISH speaking country, our teachers MUST know SPANISH. I am not talking about a Spanish class. I am talking regular school courses. That is ridiculous

I remember we had a little one (2 years old but the size of a 6 month old and she couldn't lift her head) and there was a possibility that she was going to be deft. We were all willing to take sign language. Since I had her older brother I was willing to teach my class sign language as well. Sadly mom got a job transfer so they moved.

Anyway its just sad that schools aren't meeting the needs of handicapped students.
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Unregistered 07:38 PM 06-12-2010
in response to the Spanish/illegal post

Being handicap and ESL students are two separate things. Both deserve services. If there were an enormous amount of Germans in a condensed area of the country then teachers would need to know some German. If there is a condensed amount of deaf people (not deft), then perhaps teachers would be required to learn sign language. As you know there isn't a condensed area of deaf people, therefore, teachers are not required to learn sign language but it can be helpful if they choose to do so.

It's interesting how you refer to ESL students as "the illegals", not all ESL students are illegals. I hope one day you are able to look at human beings (or illegals as you refer to all Spanish speakers as) with different eyes aside from the country lines from which they were born. You are lucky to be born in this country as so many are not. You could have been born in some 3rd world country. If you were, you would look at the so called "illegals" with different eyes.

Glad you're not a teacher anymore.
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fctjc1979 05:18 AM 06-13-2010
While I would agree that there is no reason for all teachers to know sign language, all school districts should be able to offer help to any hearing impaired student.

Having a bunch of non-english speaking (some spanish, chinese, korean, vietnamese, and japanese) students in my daughter's class at school was one of the reasons that I decided to homeschool. It was just too hard for the teacher to give any attention to the kids that spoke english. With America allowing children from all sorts of countries/cultures/languages into the schools, I too think it's ridiculous that teachers be required to fluently speak spanish........... or chinese, korean, vietnamese, japanese, or any other non-english language. But all school systems should be able to offer help to any non-english speaking student. There are just too many languages to cover. (I am in no way saying that we should not accept these students.)

Help for students that are non-english speaking, hearing impaired, or have other learning disabilities should include one-on-one time with a teacher that can easily understand them and be understood, classes specifically for their group (such as esl), and anything else that the school district and the child's parents think is necessary.... within reason.

Making any child sit through eight hours of school without being able to understand what's going on is just cruel.
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Former Teacher 06:13 AM 06-13-2010
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
in response to the Spanish/illegal post

Being handicap and ESL students are two separate things. Both deserve services. If there were an enormous amount of Germans in a condensed area of the country then teachers would need to know some German. If there is a condensed amount of deaf people (not deft), then perhaps teachers would be required to learn sign language. As you know there isn't a condensed area of deaf people, therefore, teachers are not required to learn sign language but it can be helpful if they choose to do so.

It's interesting how you refer to ESL students as "the illegals", not all ESL students are illegals. I hope one day you are able to look at human beings (or illegals as you refer to all Spanish speakers as) with different eyes aside from the country lines from which they were born. You are lucky to be born in this country as so many are not. You could have been born in some 3rd world country. If you were, you would look at the so called "illegals" with different eyes.

Glad you're not a teacher anymore.
First of all, I did not mean that ESL children were illegals. I simply meant that our American school system caters to illegals before it caters to it's own. School districts around the country are teaching Spanish more and more because of our close ties to Mexico which IMO is WRONG. Another example is...I live in AMERICA..why should I have to press 1 for English and 2 for Spanish?

As for the sign language which is indeed a language, then America needs to open up their eyes and cater to ALL languages and not just Spanish. There is German, Chinese, pig latin, whatever. Hearing impaired people do not have a choice to change their language. Illegals DO have a choice. They can learn English

As for your smart a$$ comment about how you are glad that I am no longer a teacher, well at least I have the guts to come forward and register and not hide behind an anonymous name.
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safechner 12:03 PM 06-13-2010
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
What's is even sadder is that there are some school districts who REQUIRE that their teachers learn SPANISH because of all the illegals and children here who can't speak English. In a ENGLISH speaking country, our teachers MUST know SPANISH. I am not talking about a Spanish class. I am talking regular school courses. That is ridiculous

I remember we had a little one (2 years old but the size of a 6 month old and she couldn't lift her head) and there was a possibility that she was going to be deft. We were all willing to take sign language. Since I had her older brother I was willing to teach my class sign language as well. Sadly mom got a job transfer so they moved.

Anyway its just sad that schools aren't meeting the needs of handicapped students.
I know I agree with you. It is not my daughter's fault. It is Regional Program for the Deaf fault because they dont want to do with my daughter who has PDD but she is profoundly deaf. That is why they send my daughter to my home area district in the first place since they are violation IDEA. She was involved 4 hearing autistic boys in her Structured classroom in 3 years. The teachers dont have deaf education certificated. School district is trying to force the teacher to learn sign language to communicate with my daughter which I dont agree at all... The teacher can't learn that fast anyways.

Also, school district wanted to teacher the kids to learn sign language to communicate with my daughter but that is how it works that way. They are really idiot. They cannot force kids like that but I do want my daughter to be around deaf peers which is helpful for her to have deaf community. That is sad I dont involved deaf community for some reason but I do have some deaf friends and a lot of hearing friends.. I know that a shame since I am deaf myself...
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Unregistered 05:41 PM 06-13-2010
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
First of all, I did not mean that ESL children were illegals. I simply meant that our American school system caters to illegals before it caters to it's own. School districts around the country are teaching Spanish more and more because of our close ties to Mexico which IMO is WRONG. Another example is...I live in AMERICA..why should I have to press 1 for English and 2 for Spanish?

As for the sign language which is indeed a language, then America needs to open up their eyes and cater to ALL languages and not just Spanish. There is German, Chinese, pig latin, whatever. Hearing impaired people do not have a choice to change their language. Illegals DO have a choice. They can learn English

As for your smart a$$ comment about how you are glad that I am no longer a teacher, well at least I have the guts to come forward and register and not hide behind an anonymous name.
Like I said before, if there is a condensed area of people i.e. a large amount of Arabic in Dearborn, Michigan, then there will be a need for more teachers that are Arabic speakers.

If there is a condensed area of speakers of another language, then they will "cater" to them as you put it no matter what language.

btw I'm not registering for something that I don't post on everyday. If you want my name and address, then I'll give it to you.
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Former Teacher 07:08 PM 06-13-2010
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Like I said before, if there is a condensed area of people i.e. a large amount of Arabic in Dearborn, Michigan, then there will be a need for more teachers that are Arabic speakers.

If there is a condensed area of speakers of another language, then they will "cater" to them as you put it no matter what language.

btw I'm not registering for something that I don't post on everyday. If you want my name and address, then I'll give it to you.
I normally don't respond to unregistered people but since you had personally responded I responded back. I don't want your name and address. If you wish to continue this conversation then register. Until then, this conversation is over. I will not respond to you again.
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Unregistered 05:26 PM 02-17-2011
This is for the parent of the deaf child....I applaud your efforts with the schools. The public schools are required to provide your child with a free and APPROPRIATE education. If she needs an interpreter, they HAVE to provide it. It is the law!!!! I had many bad experiences with my child who is mentally retarded (not autistic) in 2 different school districts and had to fight for him to get an aide for himself, they fought it tooth and nail but I won. Many childcare centers these days teach their staff sign language, so the schools should as well. They need to acommodate the child. You pay taxes your child has the right!!.

As for the daycare providers, I understand that you are having a hard time with particular children..Please keep in mind that we parents did not ask to be blessed with a special needs child. Imagine the life we live...We will NEVER experience the things that most parents do. We spend countless hours thinking of what will happen to them if we die, we will always have a fight on our hands whether it be from schools, doctors, childcare providers, etc. just on simple "no-brainer" situations. WE get forced into homeschooling our kids because of fighting a losing battle. If you need help, ask the parents for additional training, tap your resources. Please do not give up on our children. On the brighter side, you atleast get paid to care for the kids, we don't get paid money only hugs and kisses.

It is extremely hard to find quality child care when you have a special needs child, and it gets worse/impossible when they are over the age of 12 and can no longer go to centers.

Keep in mind the valuable lesson you are giving the other children. Don't think of their experience being lessoned due the SN child. Think of the lesson of tolerance of being different, acceptance, patience, caring, unconditional love etc. The typically developing children and the world will be better off for the lessons you are giving them for having a special needs child in their company.

Good luck to you all!!!!!


Susan
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MG&Lsmom 10:18 AM 02-18-2011
Originally Posted by mainemomma:
Yes I would love to talk with you! We have come a long way, but this summer brings some new challenges I am not sure how to handle. He had a speech and OT (i think thats what they were called) come last summer for him, but he has now aged out and in 1st grade. Mom is trying to get someone to come in a few days a week to work on specific things with him that I may not know how to correct or have time to do. For example.... Two things.......pooping in his underwear & not caring (he's 6...its really hard to change a 6 year old!!) and he HAS HAS HAS to be 1st at EVERYTHING. If he is not, he gets upset and triggers him into a mad grumpy mood that he just doesn't snap out of. Now, I am not going to give him his way all the time just to avoid the situation, however I dont have enough hands or time to teach him in a way he will understand and follow. Thats just 2 examples....we wont even get into how his 8 year old sister instigates him just to purposely make him mad *sigh*

On the positive side...he is very verbal, speaks in full complete sentences, can express his feelings, knows when he does or doesn't want something, respects me and my rules, NEVER has been physical with any of the daycare kids (well, except his sister), in the last 9 months he went from being in pull upos 100% of the time, to underwear all the time. (the trick with accidents is in his diet, he cant have gluten...however I never know if hes snuck some of his brothers cereal or crackers or toast or whatnot)...he reads at a 6 grade level, VERY smart with his numbers and is 95% of the time a really sweat sweat kid (for me!!! Not for mom)

Anyways....heading to bed so cutting this off....I will look forward to the email!
Specifically about the services he had last year. Each year a child's IEP (Individual Education Plan) is updated by the TEAM at school. It might not be that he aged out, but rather that he would not significantly regress in order to qualify for summer services. It is imperative that the parent request summer services from the school district now. With ASD kids they take data for the weeks leading up to a break and then after to "prove" the child regressed in a manner that would significantly harm them if they don't receive services over the longer summer break. Trust me it is an uphill battle Instead of helping our kids, schools are only looking at their bottom line. My taxes or not, they don't care. Special Ed services are the most expensive item on the budget. They bully, threaten, and break the law all the time and unless you have the financial resources to fight back you will never get what your child needs. We just spend $3000 on an Advocate to help with school year issues. But we have to take them to court if we want our daughter to receive summer school.
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