Need Help With Lying And Listening Skills...

[PolkaTots]

I have two 5 yo DCG's (not related) that I have cared for for the past 3 years. In the past few months, their lying and listening skills have become a real problem. Taking things away and time outs don't seem to phase them anymore, and I am looking for suggestions on what to do?

For example, one of them got on a shelf and started twisting my activity/time out timer (which they are not allowed to touch) and broke it before I could get it from her...and the other one got into a bag of mini cookies we were going to use for a game that I asked her not to touch 3 times (I kept catching her trying to get them) and while I was taking another little one potty, ate the whole bag (and said she didn't, although the evidence was all over her mouth as she answered still chewing) Both of them got time outs...but similar situations occur every day...I ask them not to do something, they do it anyway, and get in trouble...and then they lie about not doing it too

[Heidi]

OH man, I can't help you, but I have a 3 yo here who is the same way. I was hoping it was just a phase...

[mrsp'slilpeeps]

My ds is the same too. He just turned 6.

My hubby say to just keep on him about you broke my rule you get time outs.

Hopefully it will sink in eventually.

If anyone has any other ideas, im game.

[Heidi]

oh, one thing I have read, and am TRYING to stick to: Never, ever, ask a child a question you already know the answer to, as in "did you eat those cookies?", if you KNOW they did.

"I told you NOT to eat those cookies. Taking them was wrong. I will find another treat, and when we play our game, you will not be allowed to participate".

On the flip side, if you don't know for sure (didnt catch someone red handed), then it's tricky, eh?

[mickey2]

I find what worked with my own 5 children (4 of whom are now grown) as well as my dcks If I know they did something, rather than asking them if they did it I ask them "Why did you do that?"

Then if they did do it they give you a reason. If they really did not do it then they say that they did not.

Worked for me.

[daycare]

uuugghh ok so here is what I used to do with my sports teams as well as a friend of mines child.. Love the parents, don't like their kids at all, which is sad, because my friends are HORRIBLE parents.....

OPTIONS....
girl wants to get into the cookies

First time your response...DCG those cookies are for a project, please do not touch them. We will need to use them later.

2nd time- DCG touches the cookies....you say DCG I have already asked up not to touch those cookies. Would you like to get down,listen and go play with your friends or would you like to sit and only get to read books for the rest of the day today? Please make a great smart or say good decision. I know that you know how to be a smart girl and make good/smart decisions. let her decide.... if she does not decide what she is going to do, then you decide for her and you give her the consequence...


always use the consequences that you WILL follow through with.

My friends child is 5, she was spitting on me in the car one day.. I said Hailey you will stop spitting on me or I will pull the car over and you will get out until you can be nice. (her mom NEVER parents her EVER and I hate it..lol) She spit on me again so I got off the freeway, pulled over, got her out of the car and said, you can't ride in my car if you are not respectful, so you are going to sit here until you can show me you are going to be nice. It was 38 out, which is freezing cold for us. So she sat for about 3 min and said ok Im sorry I wont do it again... Guess what 10 min later she spit on her mom. So this time I pulled over again and I made her wait out of the car for 15 minutes. She was screaming and crying and wanted back in the car. I said NOPE, children that arent respectful and listen, dont get to have any fun...
Didnt happen again...

Recently she got in my car, just last week. She told her brother your stupid (hes 3) I looked at her and said, I know you didnt mean to say that, because I know you have more respect than that. I also really don't want you to have to sit outside my car, so what are you going to do....She said sorry and was quite for the rest of the car ride....

Hailey knows that I mean business. If you don't listen or are respectful, you will pay the consequences. NO questions asked. Her parents wonder how I always get my way and I tell them because there is no black and white. There is no room for negotiation. I let them make the decision and they live with whatever decision it is that they made...