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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Can I Do Anything Other Than Terminate?
MamaG2903 09:17 AM 05-09-2019
I've been doing daycare for about 10 years and stick to 2 toddlers and then get kids on and off the bus, because I prefer to be legally unlicensed. So my turnover is pretty regular due to kids going to school full time, every few years. I don't know why, but it seems that every new pair of toddlers are more spoiled and indulged than the last!
Right now I have a pair of sisters - one just turned 2, the other is in half day Pre-K. They are SO high maintenance and their mother just gives in to every demand. "Paige wouldn't let me do her hair" and "Ava said she needs to nap in pajamas" and "Paige wouldn't let me xyz" and "Ava doesn't think she needs a nap" and so on. I've had them for just the past school year, because mom is a teacher. It seems like every day brings a new demand, from stuffed animals (I don't allow them to bring toys from home, as you ALL know how that goes 🙄
to "I'm early because Paige wanted to come" and so on. I just want to scream at this woman, THEY ARE 2 AND 4! BE A PARENT!! I've tried gently to tell her to be more assertive - the toddler lets me do her hair just fine, and no, your child doesn't need to put on pajamas to nap. Mom just has no interest in doing anything but indulging her divas, and I'm so tired of it. The toddler is a total bully with the other toddler I watch, because she's the Queen at home. The preschooler gives me grief every day about nap, but her mom wants her to nap and basically makes me the bad guy about it.
Do I have any choice but to terminate at this point? I'm pretty miserable - the end of day report where I tell her that her toddler is a terrorist is ALWAYS met with "oh she's tired today/oh she doesn't do that at home" or whatever other excuse. I hate to terminate but I feel like I don't really have much of a choice anymore - mom doesn't seem to want to work with me on anything, and is perfectly content to let me be the heavy while she gives into everything. Any advice, or am I wasting my time trying to salvage this? You can tell me 😂
I was hoping to hold out until next month when school ends, so that I can terminate and then she will have the whole summer to find someone else. But I have Fibromyalgia, I'm stressed all day every day which causes my symptoms to flare, and I'm so exhausted. I just know how hard it is to find care in this area and I feel bad 🤦🏻*♀️
Right now I have a pair of sisters - one just turned 2, the other is in half day Pre-K. They are SO high maintenance and their mother just gives in to every demand. "Paige wouldn't let me do her hair" and "Ava said she needs to nap in pajamas" and "Paige wouldn't let me xyz" and "Ava doesn't think she needs a nap" and so on. I've had them for just the past school year, because mom is a teacher. It seems like every day brings a new demand, from stuffed animals (I don't allow them to bring toys from home, as you ALL know how that goes 🙄
to "I'm early because Paige wanted to come" and so on. I just want to scream at this woman, THEY ARE 2 AND 4! BE A PARENT!! I've tried gently to tell her to be more assertive - the toddler lets me do her hair just fine, and no, your child doesn't need to put on pajamas to nap. Mom just has no interest in doing anything but indulging her divas, and I'm so tired of it. The toddler is a total bully with the other toddler I watch, because she's the Queen at home. The preschooler gives me grief every day about nap, but her mom wants her to nap and basically makes me the bad guy about it. Do I have any choice but to terminate at this point? I'm pretty miserable - the end of day report where I tell her that her toddler is a terrorist is ALWAYS met with "oh she's tired today/oh she doesn't do that at home" or whatever other excuse. I hate to terminate but I feel like I don't really have much of a choice anymore - mom doesn't seem to want to work with me on anything, and is perfectly content to let me be the heavy while she gives into everything. Any advice, or am I wasting my time trying to salvage this? You can tell me 😂
I was hoping to hold out until next month when school ends, so that I can terminate and then she will have the whole summer to find someone else. But I have Fibromyalgia, I'm stressed all day every day which causes my symptoms to flare, and I'm so exhausted. I just know how hard it is to find care in this area and I feel bad 🤦🏻*♀️
Blackcat31 09:31 AM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by MamaG2903:
I've been doing daycare for about 10 years and stick to 2 toddlers and then get kids on and off the bus, because I prefer to be legally unlicensed. So my turnover is pretty regular due to kids going to school full time, every few years. I don't know why, but it seems that every new pair of toddlers are more spoiled and indulged than the last!
Right now I have a pair of sisters - one just turned 2, the other is in half day Pre-K. They are SO high maintenance and their mother just gives in to every demand. "Paige wouldn't let me do her hair" and "Ava said she needs to nap in pajamas" and "Paige wouldn't let me xyz" and "Ava doesn't think she needs a nap" and so on. I've had them for just the past school year, because mom is a teacher. It seems like every day brings a new demand, from stuffed animals (I don't allow them to bring toys from home, as you ALL know how that goes 🙄 to "I'm early because Paige wanted to come" and so on. I just want to scream at this woman, THEY ARE 2 AND 4! BE A PARENT!! I've tried gently to tell her to be more assertive - the toddler lets me do her hair just fine, and no, your child doesn't need to put on pajamas to nap. Mom just has no interest in doing anything but indulging her divas, and I'm so tired of it. The toddler is a total bully with the other toddler I watch, because she's the Queen at home. The preschooler gives me grief every day about nap, but her mom wants her to nap and basically makes me the bad guy about it.
Do I have any choice but to terminate at this point? I'm pretty miserable - the end of day report where I tell her that her toddler is a terrorist is ALWAYS met with "oh she's tired today/oh she doesn't do that at home" or whatever other excuse. I hate to terminate but I feel like I don't really have much of a choice anymore - mom doesn't seem to want to work with me on anything, and is perfectly content to let me be the heavy while she gives into everything. Any advice, or am I wasting my time trying to salvage this? You can tell me 😂
I was hoping to hold out until next month when school ends, so that I can terminate and then she will have the whole summer to find someone else. But I have Fibromyalgia, I'm stressed all day every day which causes my symptoms to flare, and I'm so exhausted. I just know how hard it is to find care in this area and I feel bad 🤦🏻*♀️
I think you already know the answer. I've been doing daycare for about 10 years and stick to 2 toddlers and then get kids on and off the bus, because I prefer to be legally unlicensed. So my turnover is pretty regular due to kids going to school full time, every few years. I don't know why, but it seems that every new pair of toddlers are more spoiled and indulged than the last!
Right now I have a pair of sisters - one just turned 2, the other is in half day Pre-K. They are SO high maintenance and their mother just gives in to every demand. "Paige wouldn't let me do her hair" and "Ava said she needs to nap in pajamas" and "Paige wouldn't let me xyz" and "Ava doesn't think she needs a nap" and so on. I've had them for just the past school year, because mom is a teacher. It seems like every day brings a new demand, from stuffed animals (I don't allow them to bring toys from home, as you ALL know how that goes 🙄
to "I'm early because Paige wanted to come" and so on. I just want to scream at this woman, THEY ARE 2 AND 4! BE A PARENT!! I've tried gently to tell her to be more assertive - the toddler lets me do her hair just fine, and no, your child doesn't need to put on pajamas to nap. Mom just has no interest in doing anything but indulging her divas, and I'm so tired of it. The toddler is a total bully with the other toddler I watch, because she's the Queen at home. The preschooler gives me grief every day about nap, but her mom wants her to nap and basically makes me the bad guy about it. Do I have any choice but to terminate at this point? I'm pretty miserable - the end of day report where I tell her that her toddler is a terrorist is ALWAYS met with "oh she's tired today/oh she doesn't do that at home" or whatever other excuse. I hate to terminate but I feel like I don't really have much of a choice anymore - mom doesn't seem to want to work with me on anything, and is perfectly content to let me be the heavy while she gives into everything. Any advice, or am I wasting my time trying to salvage this? You can tell me 😂
I was hoping to hold out until next month when school ends, so that I can terminate and then she will have the whole summer to find someone else. But I have Fibromyalgia, I'm stressed all day every day which causes my symptoms to flare, and I'm so exhausted. I just know how hard it is to find care in this area and I feel bad 🤦🏻*♀️
Josiegirl 09:54 AM 05-09-2019
As hard as it is to give notice, I agree with BC, especially when it comes to our own health. If you have a family that isn't willing to acknowledge there are issues you need to both work on together to fix, then nothing will ever change. You'll be more stressed and you'll get sicker. 
Maybe give her 2 weeks to get it together and tell her if there's no improvement, she'll have to find other care. Your health and sanity depends on it. Good luck!!!
Maybe give her 2 weeks to get it together and tell her if there's no improvement, she'll have to find other care. Your health and sanity depends on it. Good luck!!!
MamaG2903 10:04 AM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
As hard as it is to give notice, I agree with BC, especially when it comes to our own health. If you have a family that isn't willing to acknowledge there are issues you need to both work on together to fix, then nothing will ever change. You'll be more stressed and you'll get sicker.
Maybe give her 2 weeks to get it together and tell her if there's no improvement, she'll have to find other care. Your health and sanity depends on it. Good luck!!!
Thank you! I'm terrible about putting myself first but yes, it feels like it's time to face the music. I've been waffling on it for the last week or so because I'm ridiculous and worry they won't be able to find care elsewhere... Even though clearly that's not my problem! I'm too empathetic for my own good most of the time 😶As hard as it is to give notice, I agree with BC, especially when it comes to our own health. If you have a family that isn't willing to acknowledge there are issues you need to both work on together to fix, then nothing will ever change. You'll be more stressed and you'll get sicker.
Maybe give her 2 weeks to get it together and tell her if there's no improvement, she'll have to find other care. Your health and sanity depends on it. Good luck!!!
Valerie928 02:33 PM 05-09-2019
I was in this same predicament last year. I had to term. It was just too much and I started to resent the parents. I took my time choosing better families to work with. Currently my situation is way better. Not perfect but the kids in my care have parents that try. Good luck to you!
rosieteddy 06:41 AM 05-10-2019
I did not listen to my body.I had a very difficult group one child in particular.She cried constantly and didn't nap well.She would set the tone for the day .Others started crying when she started.I kept saying oh it'll get better then the youngest infant cried whenever he was put down.I did tell the parents that things needed to change.They were no help.Finnally that Feb .I actually had a heart attack.The stress of each day ws to much.I ended up retiring earlier than I wanted .I can't help thinking if I had just terminated the first child things would have worked out.My advice would be to give 2 weeks notice and if no improvement call it.I was close to retirement but you may want to work longer your health is important.
MamaG2903 07:37 AM 05-10-2019
Originally Posted by Valerie928:
I was in this same predicament last year. I had to term. It was just too much and I started to resent the parents. I took my time choosing better families to work with. Currently my situation is way better. Not perfect but the kids in my care have parents that try. Good luck to you!
It's one of the hardest parts about this job! I'm super selective about who I'll take, given that I can only take 2 full timers - man, this family really snowed me over! I've hung in there for 9 months with them but it's gotten drastically bad in the last 2 months for some reason. I've decided not to even replace these two and stick with one fulltimer and the 2 before and after schoolers. I'm working towards closing all together but I'm not quite ready yet!I was in this same predicament last year. I had to term. It was just too much and I started to resent the parents. I took my time choosing better families to work with. Currently my situation is way better. Not perfect but the kids in my care have parents that try. Good luck to you!
MamaG2903 10:01 AM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I think you already know the answer.
Thank you! I take termination super seriously so I always second-guess myself when I think it might be time!I think you already know the answer.