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Parents and Guardians Forum>I Want to Open a Daycare Center - Help!
JacksMom 08:05 PM 12-22-2015
My son is 2 and is a really good eater. He had a late breakfast this morning and was given lunch at his usual time-11-1130. He didn't eat much for lunch because he was probably not hungry yet from his late breakfast. My husband brought him to daycare at noon and explained they accidentally woke up late and had a late breakfast and Jack didn't eat much lunch and might need a snack.
When my mother picked up my son at 330, the caretaker practically yelled at her that Jack had behaved very badly today. She said that shortly after he arrived he started saying his tummy was hungry. She said mealtime was over so they didn't get him anything. They tried to put him down for a nap and he threw a fit and "was highly disturbing to the other children trying to nap." Finally at 230, the designated snack time, he was allowed to eat. My mother said the anger in her voice was disturbing and uncalled for.
I am torn. Part of me wants to tear into the manager tomorrow accusing her of neglect. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink- same for a two year old. They are hungry when they are hungry! I pay $12 an hour for my son to be cared for and that includes fulfilling the basic need for hunger when it arrises! It's not as if this is happening often- this is the first time I've heard of him being hungry at daycare. I am also incredibly angry that my mother was spoken to in such a manner. I get you're frustrated my son wouldn't nap- but I would think this is commonplace at daycares and with 2 year olds...? Was it really necessary to yell at my mother about my sons bad behavior due to hunger? Would it have been so difficult to give him a few crackers?
Please help me with how to address this- I am worried they will give me the run around about their FDA food program stuff and completely ignore that my child was left to starve because Dad messed up and gave him a late breakfast.
Thank you
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Unregistered 07:39 AM 12-23-2015
I think most daycares would have turned him away for the day. I can understand the care provider being firm about not attempting to bring him into group care in the same state again. Yelling of course would be very unprofessional. Was she really yelling or just direct and firm about the situation. I likely would have just called a parent for pick up.
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sahm1225 09:50 AM 12-23-2015
He was there from 12-3:30 and had a snack at 2:30. I'm confused on how he was left to starve?

If they yelled at your mom, that was unprofessional. But I do agree at only serving meals during meal times at a daycare. In group care, we have set meal times, otherwise you spend the whole day serving kids snacks!

What probably happened was that your little guy was not ready to take a nap and started acting out. He arrived at daycare late, but was ready to play. It's very hard for a child to arrive late because they expect their day to go the way it typically does. In his eyes, he was forced to go to nap and didn't get to play or eat first (his typical routine).

I would still talk to the director and voice your concerns though.
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Maggie 12:37 PM 12-23-2015
$12 an hour for one 2 year old, I'd feed him whenever he wanted.
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Thriftylady 12:49 PM 12-23-2015
All of my parents know that I feed meals and snacks only at the assigned times. In some cases where providers are on the food program, they are not allowed to serve outside of those times at all. If he had been so hungry here that he was disturbing everyone at nap, I would have called for pick up and he would have had to be picked up for the day. He refused his lunch at 11:30, so he wasn't starving.

If the provider really "yelled" that was out of line, but I would make sure she "yelled" both of my kids (one 25 and one 17) say I am "yelling" at them every time I simply tell them something they don't want to hear.
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LysesKids 01:56 PM 12-23-2015
I prefer there be NO drop-offs or pick ups between 11am-2pm specifically because it is lunch & nap time; feeding 4 babies is hectic enough without dealing with a child who shows up after the meal has been served and very possibly already put away which it sounds like was the case if child showed at Noon... BTW, a child won't starve in 2-3 hrs and even the food program people will tell you that... we are required to have to leave a certain amount time in between meals/snacks due to regulations

As was said there are specific times for meals & snacks and all my families understand that if their child misses a set meal they are expected to wait until the next one (with the exception of on demand infants under 12 months). If the OP checks around, I'm pretty sure she would find it's a standard policy in daycare. The yelling part she might want to actually make sure that was the case before acting on it
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BumbleBee 02:09 PM 12-23-2015
As far as the food goes I too serve at designated times and once the meal or snack time has passed the child has to wait until the next designated meal or snack.

I have a child who is regularly dropped off after my breakfast cut off and he waits until snack every day. If he's dropped off after the snack cut off he waits until lunch. All of my daycare parents know this as it's in the handbook.

As far as just giving your son a few crackers, if you give 1 child something it generally doesn't go well because all of the other children want something too. If we feed kids based on their schedule we'd do nothing but serve food all day.

Your child is in group care, as such the daycare does what is best for the group and has most likely developed a schedule that works for the group. I know that's how I run my in home daycare.

The daycare provides a service and you have the opportunity to use that service for a fee. You are not their boss. If you feel that you pay too much for daycare you can always look for somewhere that is cheaper.
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mommyneedsadayoff 02:49 PM 12-23-2015
Originally Posted by sahm1225:
He was there from 12-3:30 and had a snack at 2:30. I'm confused on how he was left to starve?

If they yelled at your mom, that was unprofessional. But I do agree at only serving meals during meal times at a daycare. In group care, we have set meal times, otherwise you spend the whole day serving kids snacks!

What probably happened was that your little guy was not ready to take a nap and started acting out. He arrived at daycare late, but was ready to play. It's very hard for a child to arrive late because they expect their day to go the way it typically does. In his eyes, he was forced to go to nap and didn't get to play or eat first (his typical routine).

I would still talk to the director and voice your concerns though.
I agree. He probably slept late, dad fed him late, and then he was brought to daycare, which many parents don't think is a big deal, but he is on a totally different schedule than all the other kids. They have been playing all day, have full bellies and are ready for rest. He recently woke, ate and is ready to play!

I think it is an exaggeration to say he starved, so I wonder if the dcp "yelling" may also be an exaggeration??? I would just bring it up like, "when my mom picked up last time, she said you seemed upset with how little ones day went, so I wanted to speak with you and see if everything is ok?"
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Febby 05:31 PM 12-23-2015
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
I agree. He probably slept late, dad fed him late, and then he was brought to daycare, which many parents don't think is a big deal, but he is on a totally different schedule than all the other kids. They have been playing all day, have full bellies and are ready for rest. He recently woke, ate and is ready to play!

I think it is an exaggeration to say he starved, so I wonder if the dcp "yelling" may also be an exaggeration??? I would just bring it up like, "when my mom picked up last time, she said you seemed upset with how little ones day went, so I wanted to speak with you and see if everything is ok?"
Agree. Parents typically don't think a late drop off is a big deal because when their children sleep late at home, it's relatively straightforward to adjust your schedule to fit what they need. When you have a bunch of other two year olds, you can't simply change the schedule for one child. If they're up during nap, they're likely to be disruptive. Then, they're tired when it's no longer nap time, but can't sleep because everyone else is up and playing.

As far as feeding goes, three hours between lunch and snack is not starvation. Yes, he probably got hungry after a while, but I'd be more inclined to blame the change in routine for the behavior issues they encountered than the time between his lunch and their snack.

And, no, it's not common for two year olds not to nap in child care. At least, it's not common anywhere I've worked. Yes, it happens sometimes, but it's unusual (and annoying).
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Unregistered 06:41 PM 12-23-2015
Do you really pay $12/hour or is that your calculation of the daily rate divided by only being there for 3.5 hours (instead of 12 hours)? Just curious.
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Laurel 07:00 PM 12-23-2015
While this post sounds a little 'off', I'll answer in case it is legit.

I disagree with most providers here. I would feed a child in this circumstance. However, if it became a regular thing then I'd have to get a few things straight with the parent.

It's not the child's fault when they were or weren't fed and it doesn't disrupt the day all that much to give a child a light snack.
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LysesKids 07:22 PM 12-23-2015
Originally Posted by Laurel:
While this post sounds a little 'off', I'll answer in case it is legit.

I disagree with most providers here. I would feed a child in this circumstance. However, if it became a regular thing then I'd have to get a few things straight with the parent.

It's not the child's fault when they were or weren't fed and it doesn't disrupt the day all that much to give a child a light snack.
Actually it could throw off the day... at least here

when one child gets something they usually all want it & if I'm trying to get 4 littles between 3 months & 2 years down for a nap that extra 15 minutes could end up being a lost 30-40 minutes especially if one is needing a bottle (based on my pickups that could really screw my day). Also, if I had just cleaned up lunch the last thing I want to worry about is crackers crumbs & more dirty cups during the one time I might actually get a break in 12 hrs.
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Josiegirl 01:04 PM 12-24-2015
In my handbook I list our meal/snack times and tell parents if they're not here before the end of the meal they better come fed already.
With that said, I'm a little lenient also. If it'd been me I would have sat him at the table with a few crackers and some milk while getting everyone else ready for quiet time. He still would have been expected to lay quietly. Let's face it, trying to get 5 other kids to rest while the 6th is playing, well it just wouldn't work. So while I would've fed your ds something, he still would've laid down at the regular time, with some books.
If the provider really got snippy, loud, mean, whatever, with your mom I'd definitely question that reaction. And since I don't know exactly how it transpired, how was your mom's reaction? I guess I'm wondering if a normal conversation just built up between both of them to angry moments?
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kendallina 02:58 PM 12-28-2015
Originally Posted by Maggie:
$12 an hour for one 2 year old, I'd feed him whenever he wanted.
Ha! This.

I agree with previous poster that said it probably had nothing to do with him being hungry and much more to do with him being brought in so closely to naptime. Of course he didn't want to nap, he just got there-kids need routine.

I would be pretty PO'd that the provider yelled at your mom like that and I would absolutely be speaking to the director about that.
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getnsmart 11:11 PM 12-28-2015
It is very hard on the child to come in the middle of the day. I do not allow late drop offs either. If that happen the parent must get my permission, but just because you overslept, its going to be a hard day on that child.
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KidGrind 07:29 AM 12-29-2015
Itís the parents responsibility to make sure the child is fed appropriately on their watch knowing the meal times at the daycare.

The parent altered the schedule, not the provider. The burden is on the parent.

I donít allow late drop offs for this reason.
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daycarediva 10:49 AM 12-30-2015
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
I agree. He probably slept late, dad fed him late, and then he was brought to daycare, which many parents don't think is a big deal, but he is on a totally different schedule than all the other kids. They have been playing all day, have full bellies and are ready for rest. He recently woke, ate and is ready to play!

I think it is an exaggeration to say he starved, so I wonder if the dcp "yelling" may also be an exaggeration??? I would just bring it up like, "when my mom picked up last time, she said you seemed upset with how little ones day went, so I wanted to speak with you and see if everything is ok?"
which is the biggest issue in group care and why I no longer allow drop offs after 9 unless they are prearranged (eg appt, where the child is up and 'on schedule' somewhat).

The provider should not be expected to change the schedule of the entire group to meet the needs of one child.

I also have scheduled meal times, if a child arrives after a meal time, they are not fed until the next meal/snack. I also serve food every 3 hours, so a child would not 'starve' in that time frame.

Originally Posted by kendallina:
Ha! This.

I agree with previous poster that said it probably had nothing to do with him being hungry and much more to do with him being brought in so closely to naptime. Of course he didn't want to nap, he just got there-kids need routine.

I would be pretty PO'd that the provider yelled at your mom like that and I would absolutely be speaking to the director about that.
and this is what I would take issue with. The food issue is on the parent.
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Silly Songs 09:55 AM 01-02-2016
Daycare center employee here. This is how we handle late arrivals :
We are happy to accommodate, to a certain point.
If the child came in already fed , he can choose to nibble and sit with the group or sit elsewhere and look at books while friends eat lunch. If it's after lunch ( or breakfast) , he gets a snack if he is hungry. Or we can ask the kitchen if there is anything left from meal time. ( usually not ). We cannot tell people they can't drop off after a certain time. We have had some parents drop off at 3 pm , when other children are going home ! Honestly , it doesn't affect our day as much as a home provider's. That being said , drop off at nap time is tough. Pickup at nap is a little easier. Also , these children are eating constantly, so no one would go hungry for long
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Unregistered 08:24 PM 01-06-2016
I might be in the minority here but even if my policy stated that children will not be feed between meals and snacks, I could not let a child be hungry. I understand that the unexpected can happen and a parent might be very late to work or something, so as long as is an exception I would reassure them that their child wasn't hungry.

Is feel terrible to think of a child being hungry to the point of crying. And if is a child that normally goes to nap without any issues it mean that he was indeed hungry.
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Thriftylady 04:09 AM 01-07-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I might be in the minority here but even if my policy stated that children will not be feed between meals and snacks, I could not let a child be hungry. I understand that the unexpected can happen and a parent might be very late to work or something, so as long as is an exception I would reassure them that their child wasn't hungry.

Is feel terrible to think of a child being hungry to the point of crying. And if is a child that normally goes to nap without any issues it mean that he was indeed hungry.
The problem I have found is that if I make one exception, it becomes a few times a week and then every day. Or it becomes wanting exceptions on other things.
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Rockgirl 04:17 AM 01-07-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
And if is a child that normally goes to nap without any issues it mean that he was indeed hungry.
Or had slept in at home.
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LysesKids 05:13 AM 01-07-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
Or had slept in at home.
In this case the kid had slept in and ate a late breakfast... he wasn't tired @ the normal nap time because his schedule was off...
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daycarediva 08:35 AM 01-07-2016
Originally Posted by LysesKids:
In this case the kid had slept in and ate a late breakfast... he wasn't tired @ the normal nap time because his schedule was off...
and since he wasn't hungry enough at lunch to eat anything just prior to rest time it was an 'I'm awake and ready to play' not an 'I'm so hungry I'm in tears.'

I have had some STUBBORN kids here go all day without eating a bite. None were hungry enough to cry.
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LysesKids 05:13 PM 01-07-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
and since he wasn't hungry enough at lunch to eat anything just prior to rest time it was an 'I'm awake and ready to play' not an 'I'm so hungry I'm in tears.'

I have had some STUBBORN kids here go all day without eating a bite. None were hungry enough to cry.
. I'm surprised on how many unregistered guests pipe in when something doesn't fit their way of thought...
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Jazzii 12:42 PM 03-27-2016
While her tone may have been unprofessional, I completely understand her reasoning. I am a daycare provider and I let potential parents, as well as current ones that if they are dropping off after meal times (after 7:50 for breakfast, after 11:45 for lunch) that they are not to expect that their child be fed as we follow a schedule. On rare occasions when parents are running late enough to miss a meal they know that they can bring a small snack, or lunch for their child to eat- yes, this does mean that they miss out some part of the day.

We have a parent who drops off at 12:30 Tuesday-Thursday and we told him if he was dropping off at that time child would have to be fed at home- and he always is....
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